Chapter 10 #2
A few rogue curls brushed against my cheeks with my disagreeing headshake.
“You don’t know me, and once you do, you’ll quickly realize I’m not worth that kind of effort.
I’m not,” I begged, wanting him to believe me now before I got my hopes up that he was actually different. “I swear to you, I’m not.”
That was the ugly truth that tainted me from the inside, souring anything good in my life. I had nothing to offer a partner that would make the energy and effort to break past my walls worth it.
Because deep down, I’d always known I wasn’t worth keeping.
“But what if you are?” he whispered, leaning in until our noses almost brushed. “What if what I see in you, this amazing woman who I am desperate to know inside and out, the good and the bad, is actually the truth, and everything else is only the lies someone made you believe?”
“Maybe, but I know me, West. Better than you do. And what if you don’t like the actual truth? What if you realize everything I’ve said is true?”
His long eyelashes fluttered closed as he sealed his forehead to mine. “You know little about my past, and I’m terrified that you’ll discard me when you finally find out. It’s not pretty, Juno.”
I inhaled, lips parted to deny that I would be the one to walk away, but my stomach growled, sounding like a hungry bear was in the cabin. I grimaced, cheeks warming as an embarrassed flush spread across my face.
With both brows nearly at his hairline, West slid his gaze to my abdomen before peeking back up with a smirk.
“How about we put this super-deep conversation on hold until I feed you as a thank-you for helping dress me. We have nothing here, so how does heading out to Sips sound?” At the mention of the little coffee shop in town that had the best fresh-baked pastries, my stomach spoke up again.
West’s cheeks bunched with a wide smile.
“I’m taking that as a yes. And thanks to you, I’m ready to go. ”
I gaped down at the off-the-shoulder T-shirt and loose sweats tucked into my old Uggs that I threw on before leaving the house. Oh, and I couldn’t forget about the bare face and unruly hair tied back in a crazy bun.
“Sure, that sounds great, but I need to change first. I can’t go out looking like this.”
West shrugged like he actually didn’t care that I looked hobo-ish.
“That works, but only if you really want to. I think you look great without changing, though. Adorable, actually.” Popping a quick kiss to the end of my nose, he stepped back, giving me some space.
“But if we head there now, we’ll get there before all the good pastries are gone. You know the best ones sell out fast.”
Teeth gnawing on my lower lip, I debated between looking put together and mouthwatering pastries. I didn’t actually mind going out dressed as I was. Sure, it was slouchy, but I was comfortable, and everything matched, with no holes in inappropriate places. Was that really so bad?
Old Juno would’ve said yes. I needed to hurry home to shower, change, and fix my face just to grab a chocolate croissant and coffee in town.
I would put on flattering jeans, cute boots, fix my hair and face enough to look nice but not overdone.
Just the way he liked me to present myself out in public.
How he liked me to look in public.
Thankfully, new Juno said, Fuck that.
“Actually, if you’re good with being seen with me like this—”
“I’m happy as fuck to be spending time with you, Juno, no matter what you’re wearing.”
“Oh.” I paused, studying him with narrowed eyes, looking for any deception. “Really?”
“Really, really. Now, are we walking or walking?” I couldn’t help the way my smile grew at his shy grin. “I’m not comfortable taking you on the bike with only one good hand, and Langston took his 4Runner to the docks.”
I lifted one hand and then the other, like I was weighing my options. “I think walking sounds great. It’s a little cloudy out but still nice, so yes, that sounds perfect.”
His shy grin grew into a genuine smile so wide his joy practically radiated off him.
Me.
I made him that happy simply by agreeing to walk to breakfast with the incredible man.
Was that normal? Or was it part of this newish thing between us and would soon fade?
That seemed more likely. Which scared the shit out of me, because that meant every relationship was doomed, the spark not sustainable, and in the end, it left you more hollow and lost than you started.
But there was only one way to find out, and I needed to figure out if I wanted to take that risk.
West was right. I was scared. Terrified, really, of opening up to another person and them leaving again like I never mattered.
Then there was also the chance that I wouldn’t be able to trust anyone like that again no matter how hard I tried.
At least not without a little shove from the universe, forcing me to open up and let new people in.
Like that would happen.
“Again,” West begged. “Show me again the look on Langston’s face when you took him down in the locker room.” With both elbows pressed on the table, he leaned in with an expectant expression.
With a dramatic eye roll at his persistence, I reenacted Langston’s shocked expression for the third time since we sat down at the two-person table on the walkway outside Sips’s large glass window.
Like the previous time, West barked out a loud laugh. “Damn, I wish I could’ve seen it firsthand. That bastard is hard to surprise.”
“Probably because he knows everything, or am I the only one he follows?”
He stilled at that revelation, the coffee mug hovering halfway between the metal table and his lips.
I shrugged and popped another bite of buttery croissant into my mouth. “Yes, I’m aware he’s sometimes there watching what I do and where I go. I just can’t figure out why.”
His mug landed on the table with a soft clink. “Why haven’t you called him out on it?”
I slid the paper napkin between my fingers as I focused on folding it instead of looking at West. “I don’t know.” Lie. “It’s annoying.” More lies. “But I’d rather ignore him and hope he stops than confront him.” Oh, so many lies.
I felt his focused stare as he studied me as if he could see straight through the false words. “Do you have any theories about why Langston is obsessed with stalking you?”
It was my turn to freeze. I blinked in disbelief and utter confusion at the man now smirking at me like he was in on some secret. “Um, I did not use the words obsessed and stalking. What the hell are you talking about?”
“You clearly haven’t noticed all the times he has,” West grumbled into the almost-empty mug.
“That’s… disturbing.” Yeah, that was the right word, which explained the swarm of butterflies fluttering in my gut and the thrum of excitement that heated me from the inside out.
“He’s such a weirdo. But for a theory, maybe it’s that he doesn’t want me here and is trying to find a reason for Brandon to fire me? ”
West fixed his gaze on the chocolate muffin he’d barely touched.
“I could see why you would think that, but no. Langston….” He blew out a breath and looked up at the cloudy sky.
“Lang has some major trust issues that stem from a bunch of shit in his childhood, but one instance in particular. So when someone new comes into his life, he likes to make sure they’re safe, not a threat to his family.
Which is exactly what he considers all of us at Uplift.
He hasn’t been able to get a read on you, and that scares him, hence the stalking to figure you out. ”
I slow-blinked as I processed that information. “Langston, the big-ass man who could squash me with one arm, is scared. Of me.”
West’s expression softened. “Of what you might do to his family if he’s not careful, yeah. I think we’ve all learned through life that there are a lot more ways to harm someone than physically, so his strength or yours doesn’t really come into play.”
“No truer statement has ever been said,” I muttered. Slouching back against the chair, I twirled the empty mug along the tabletop. “Obsessive stalking, huh?” I shot West a smirk at his own smile and nod.
“I would take it as a compliment. You’re the only one he’s gone to this length to understand.”
It made me feel special, though I wasn’t sure what that said about my mental state. Maybe our book club’s recent selections were a little too dark and had me thinking the idea of being stalked and maybe kidnapped was sexy rather than terrifying.
“I get it. I hate surprises, like really, really hate them. So I guess along those lines, I get where he’s coming from, not knowing my background—what?” My heart dropped to my stomach at his panicked expression. “West, you’re scaring me. What’s wrong? You look like you’re about to throw up.”
Head on a swivel, I searched up and down the street for whatever had freaked him out to the point that all the color had drained from his face.
Not finding a monster or knife-wielding crazy person, only a man and a woman walking past the row of shops in the distance, I turned back to West. Unable to stop myself, I looked back over my shoulder at the two meandering our way, squinting to see if I recognized them, but I couldn’t make out their features.
At that familiar feeling tingling in the back of my brain, my stomach tightened, twisting with nerves, forcing bile to creep up my throat, but for the life of me, I didn’t understand why.
“Juno.” I twisted back to West, brows raised at the shake in his voice. “I have to tell you something.”
A fresh rush of nerves flooded through me, spiking my pulse so fast that I gasped down air as if I’d just worked out.
“West, what’s going on?” My voice trembled with the building fear. Something was wrong. Very wrong.
He reached across the table and grasped my hand, squeezing it hard. “Believe me, Brandon said we couldn’t say anything. It was what the client wanted.” He swallowed hard, his throat bobbing. “Langston should be here any minute with them, but I feel like I need to warn you—”
Each sharp breath felt like shards of glass lining my throat. “Who is ‘them’?” I somehow got out.
He ran his good hand over his shaved head and offered me a pleading look. “Two people—a couple, maybe. I don’t know all the details. They’re coming here, to Anchor Bay, to surprise you. But you just made it very clear that you hate surprises, so I think—”
My stomach revolted, swirling the coffee and croissant as my fear and dread mounted. I pressed my palm against it, hoping that would keep its contents down, as I stared at West with a pleading expression. “Who?” I breathed.
West shifted in his seat, his own rising panic making the movement jerky. “Fuck, I can’t remember their names. I just… fuck. Okay, one was Edward or Easton or—”
“Eric.” I dropped my unseeing gaze to the empty plate. Damnit, what was he planning to—
Realization that he’d said a man and a woman knocked the air from my lungs like a punch to the gut. I twisted in my seat, frantically searching for the people I’d seen earlier. There they were, close enough now to see exactly who’d decided to surprise me like the assholes they were.
“And Stephanie.”
Without waiting for a response, knowing I was right and needed to get far, far away from them, from him—hell, from everything—to fucking think, I shoved out of the metal chair, careful not to make a scene and draw their attention.
Then I bolted. Heart hammering, I walked as fast as I could without running, heading down the wooden walkway that lined each side of the storefronts before dipping into the first alley I came to.
Stumbling forward, I caught myself on a dumpster.
Knees wobbling, I used it as support, making my way to the other side to block the view from the street.
The moist mold that grew along the older brick building cooled my heated back when I fell back against it and squeezed my lids shut.
This could not be happening. Not here. Not when things were separate, my old life totally behind me where it couldn’t contaminate this new hopeful one.
Thoughts spiraling, I jumped when a gentle hand gripped my shoulder, but I still kept my eyes closed, not ready to accept the last few minutes as reality. Maybe if I hid here for a little while, then I’d wake up and this would all be a nightmare.
“Juno,” West pleaded. “We didn’t know. Fuck, believe me, we didn’t know you’d react like this. I don’t even really know what’s going on, just that….” When he trailed off, I peeked a single lid open to see what stopped him. “It’s him, isn’t it?”
“Who?” I asked, opening both eyes to search his face.
There was no way he just put two and two together that fast. Fucking hell, why did I open my big mouth earlier?
Why did I give him a peek into my past instead of keeping it shoved down deep where it belonged, where I had kept it hidden from everyone here?
I blamed his fucking dimples.
“Everything you told me earlier, the reason you’re afraid to open up, of being vulnerable.
It’s because of that fucker who’s here to surprise you.
” I only blinked, face blank, not giving him anything.
His brown eyes narrowed as if he saw right through me.
“That’s the bastard who hurt you, who lied to you.
” West stood tall and shifted to stare down the alley.
“Who made you think you weren’t worth anyone’s effort. ”
I gripped his arm when he started toward the road. “West, don’t. Please,” I begged. “I need to get out of here now. I can’t see them like this.”
His lips pressed into a tight line, he slid his gaze back to the open alley as he debated ignoring my plea and going to find Eric.
“Please,” I whispered, finally allowing the tears that had built up to fall. “I can’t let them see me like this. I want to go home. Take me home, please.”