Chapter 15
Chapter Fifteen
T he kennel had narrow windows, letting in bright shafts of light all along the wall. Down the right side, there was a kennel area for all the dogs to be together if they wanted to be inside or eat. It led outside to an area with a high fence for them to run around and play. All the dogs were outside, so the kennel felt private. Almost private enough for Kelly to bare her soul.
“You know about the texts. You’ve read them. I know how you feel about Nathan, but that doesn’t stop me from feeling deep inside like that’s all I’m worth. I don’t belong here. I certainly don’t belong at church. Nothing he said made any sense.” She couldn’t bring herself to blame him for avoiding her. Why wouldn’t he? He hadn’t even wanted her to come to Wayside.
“Would it help to know that you’re not alone in feeling that way? Almost every person who comes to stay here goes through those same feelings. Many of our guests become Christians while they’re here, so they have no understanding of what the pastor is saying. ”
Kelly tugged away from him so she could pull her knees up and lean against the wall. Outside, one of the dogs barked. “Then why does Connor keep asking that preacher to come? Wouldn’t it be better to have someone willing to bring it down a little bit, for those of us who don’t know anything?” That wasn’t really the issue, but tackling this question was easier than the others.
“Connor has been friends with him for a long time. He’d really like Connor to bring all of us to the church in town, so we had the option of different classes. That’s just not feasible though. Our people would be overwhelmed, even with the congregation in town only reaching one hundred on a big day, like Christmas.”
“So, what can we do? I want to learn, but when I was talking to God back at the church, I felt like my prayers were hitting the ceiling. It’s a pretty ceiling, don’t get me wrong, but that’s not where I want my thoughts to get stuck.”
Sam grinned and bumped her gently with his shoulder. “Do you really think the God of all creation is going to be held back by a layer of wood, tar paper, and shingles?”
She supposed not, but that didn’t stop her feeling from remaining stubbornly the same. “So maybe it’s not physical, but the issue is still there. I feel like He doesn’t want to hear from me. Like I’m too small.”
Sam pulled his phone from his pocket and then gripped her hand with the watch. He downloaded some app that she couldn’t see, then waited. A big circle appeared on his screen with the word ‘downloading’ underneath it. The percentage went up quickly. As soon as it hit 100, he was asked if he wanted to pair his watch to his phone.
“Wait . . . ”
Before she could stop him, he paired her watch to his phone and all the texts appeared in a long list. Had she really received so many? Her mouth went dry as she read the first few words of the long string.
“This is why you feel that way.” Sam used his finger to scroll through the messages. “ He made you feel like you aren’t even worthy of the truth. He convinced you with his actions and words that you have no value. No one here feels that way, and God doesn’t feel that way.”
He stopped on a threatening text and his face changed subtly. “I should’ve been there for you. I shouldn’t have assumed that what I saw was the truth that day. I knew you better than that.”
Kelly gripped her knees. She’d wondered all this time what had sent Sam away. The idea that he’d seen her with one of the men Nathan sent made her sick to her stomach. It was one thing for him to forgive the idea of her being with more men than he would ever know about. It was another to witness the truth for his own eyes. “I’m sorry for what you saw.”
“I can’t change the past. But the whole point of what I wanted to say is that God knows what you went through. He was there at your side. I know you’ll probably wonder why He didn’t rescue you right then. I can’t answer that. But I know that He didn’t abandon you.”
He opened the threatening text and his shoulder and arm tensed at her side.
“I knew you’d be angry if you looked at those again. I tried to get you to stop.”
She leaned forward to stand. He would be angry with her for answering those texts. He would think she was stupid for agreeing with Nathan. No one ever understood that no matter how often he lied, he was still in control. There was something inherently wrong with her or something because she always believed him.
Sam touched her knee, stopping her. She glanced at him and though his face was hard as stone and so unlike the Sam she knew, she also knew that stony reaction wasn’t for her.
“No one will ever talk to you like that again. Ever. I want the watch.” He held out his hand. “It’s not that I don’t trust you. I don’t trust him. He’s tracking your every move with this. Look.” He opened the app and was able to select a map that showed every step she’d taken. “He somehow turned on all these settings. I still don’t know if he can hear you. I don’t see a camera on the phone, so at least I’m pretty sure that he’s not watching you.”
She breathed in heavily and let it go. She’d avoided taking a shower for the last few days, terrified that if she took the watch off he would know, yet also terrified of what he could see. She often wore many layers of clothes now, the more the better, so she could hide everything about herself.
“I guess I’m glad he didn’t get a watch that could do that.”
“I doubt he has many limits, but the fact is, there’s something you know that scares him. If not, he’d walk away. The world is full of available victims. Spending the money and resources to go after you means you hold something of his that is valuable. Even if that value is your memories.”
What could she know that would scare Nathan? Had she met someone important and didn’t realize it? “I don’t know what I know, though. So, that’s not helpful.”
“He won’t hurt you. Not now or ever again. I won’t let him talk to you, see you, or hurt you. You belong here at Wayside. Never believe anything else.”
She wanted to believe that. She wanted to think she had value beyond what could get her killed and that Sam wouldn’t let anyone hurt her. Sam’s words were thrilling, but were they true? She wasn’t at all sure she could ever love again or be part of a relationship, but this was Sam. If anyone could help her cross the finish line and get back to the life she once had, it was steady Sam.
“I belong here,” The words were far too quiet to sound believable, but it was a start.
“Good.” Sam whistled softly, the few notes making all the dogs outside quiet down. Seconds later, Zeus poked his head through the dog door and looked at them. Sam whistled again and Zeus trotted toward them, more like a small pony than a dog.
“Good boy.” Sam scratched the dog behind the ears when Zeus sat down. “Kelly, I want you to take him. You need to feel safe, and if that means we share that cabin, then we do that. But if you’re not ready, then we don’t. But I’m not leaving you unprotected for hours at a time. Zeus is a guard dog. If you blow on a whistle three short blasts, Zeus will come running no matter where you are on the property. But if he’s at your side, you’ll never have to blow that whistle.”
Zeus laid down, pressing his nose into her side. He was a good boy, the best boy. She’d always wanted a dog, and Zeus was like an answer to prayer. Her mind immediately reminded her that maybe God was providing an answer to her prayers in His time, not hers. “I’ll keep him and take good care of him.”
Sam nodded, as if she’d given the answer he expected. “Then I’ll move his bed and dishes over to your house. I’ll bring over some food, too I want you to keep him with you at all times, even when you come to the house to eat. Okay?”
It was somewhat like house arrest with a great big furry protector, but at least she didn’t have to move yet. “Understood.” She scratched Zeus behind the ear, and he raised his head letting his tongue loll to the side. She unclasped the watch and handed it to Sam. Time for Nathan to know she chose freedom.
She wasn’t quite ready to take the plunge and let Sam give her all his time. But a dog . . . that was easy.
Sam gripped the watch tightly as the sounds of the kennel surrounded him once again. The thing buzzed, shaking him from his thoughts of Kelly and what he needed to do to build her trust. He glanced down at it as a text came through.
A little worked up, are you? Where were you last night?
Max, a sweet golden retriever, came through the dog door, bulldozing a large rock with his nose as he often did. Sam had never figured out why the dog liked rocks, but it didn’t matter how often he scoured the yard for them, Max would find more.
“Bring that here, buddy,” Sam called to Max.
The dog looked up at him with what could only be called a smile on the older dog’s muzzle. He pushed the rock with his nose, like a kid kicking a soccer ball down a street, side-to-side until he’d made it to Sam’s feet.
“Mind if I borrow your toy?” He pointed to the large granite looking rock roughly the size of a softball by his foot.
Max whined, but laid down, giving Sam permission to play with his toy. Sam picked it up and laid the watch down on the cement floor. Since Max’s ears had been injured a few months back by a bomb, he sent the dog back a few feet. Max didn’t want to go, probably since he’d lost so many rocks to Sam.
“I won’t take it. I’m just borrowing it. I promise.” Max laid down by the dog door, clearly pouting over the loss of his rock.
Sam picked it up and smashed the watch, just enough to make sure it wasn’t going to track anything again, nor would Kelly ever see another text. He hoped Nathan was angry. Angry enough to do something stupid. The police and feds knew he was in the area. All they needed was for him to slither out of hiding.
Sam nudged the rock back toward Max. “Here you go. Thanks, buddy.” He made sure every tiny broken piece of the watch was picked up. The last thing he wanted was for this to cause his dogs any harm. It had done enough damage.
He took the watch to the main house and knocked on Connor’s door. To his surprise, Edwyn was already there. “Can I come in?”
“Probably a good idea. We happened to be talking about you.”
Sam took a seat. “I figured as much. What now?”
“Edwyn feels like I’m not putting enough emphasis on Kelly’s healing. He thinks I’m letting these second chance missions get in the way, and that having you work with Kelly is only going to hurt her. Would you agree?”
He wasn’t sure what to say. In many ways, Edwyn was right. There was no easy answer in this case. Kelly didn’t trust anyone else, and she currently felt so bad about herself that any change and her healing would continue to be stunted.
“I think we need to not rock the boat right now. She does not want to move from her cabin. She’s already had to switch wranglers and deal with the contention that has caused. Not only that, she doesn’t really get along with Edwyn, yet he keeps trying to help her. It’s not helping. It’s only adding more confusion to the situation. Edwyn spoke to me yesterday, warning me to keep my distance. When I do that, she suffers.”
Edwyn shook his head. “See what I mean? There is no way he can be impartial.”
Sam took a deep breath. “Today at church, she was sure that she’d done something wrong, probably because I didn’t sit with her. The reason I didn’t was because Edwyn told me not to.”
Connor glanced from Sam to Edwyn. “Why did you tell him not to sit with her? It’s customary for wranglers to stay with their guests if they choose to come to chapel. Otherwise, they’re left alone. That’s the last thing we want.”
“I was there. I sat with her. Rebecca actually asked her first. She wasn’t alone.”
Sam couldn’t allow Edwyn to force Connor into doing anything. “Kelly doesn’t know either of you. Why do you think she ran out of the church?” Sam resisted the urge to raise his voice. It wouldn’t change anything, and he’d only end up looking more emotionally invested. He was already walking a fine line here.
“The service got to her. She made small noises all through to the end.” Edwyn crossed his arms in an obvious challenge.
“And how did you address her distress?” Connor asked. “I didn’t notice, though I was closer to the front.”
“Since she was being somewhat loud, I gave her a look that I hope let her know that people could hear her.” Edwyn didn’t seem the least bit concerned that his response might be taken as anything but commendable.
Connor frowned and his brows gathered. “And did that work?”
Edwyn shifted in his chair. “Not especially.”
Sam slammed the watch down on Connor’s desk sending bits flying. “Let’s drop this. I am her wrangler. End of story. I will take care of her. I will sit with her at church. I will be above reproach, but I need your help. If we’re going to track whoever gave her this watch, it needs to happen soon. He’s going to know it’s broken and make a move.”
Connor and Edwyn looked at the broken pink-and-black watch on the desk. Connor picked it up and turned it over, running his thumb across the broken face. “I wonder if we can get anything out of this? Probably not. But I think I know how he was keeping track of her.”
Sam tried not to get frustrated. “I downloaded the app and paired it to my phone.” He tugged it out of his jacket pocket, opened the app, and showed it to both of them. “Here are the texts, but you can plainly see where she’s been in the last few hours. It tracks her every movement. It tracks her heart rate. It clearly shows her returning to her cabin daily.”
Connor nodded slowly. “That heart monitor is interesting. He could tell when she was excited, running, or scared. I’d wondered how he knew when to send her a text for maximum effect, and that must be how. He waited until she was already weak and her heart rate was through the roof. Then he’d send a text knowing she was frightened or worked up and couldn’t think straight. He never messaged her when she was calm.”
Edwyn reached for the phone and scanned the records. “I apparently don’t have the same effect as you do. He sent her a text while I was there running her bath for her after her fall. She never told me about the watch, but I noticed she looked scared again before I left.” He glanced up at Connor. “And I did leave as soon as the bath was run.”
Connor snorted. “I wouldn’t expect you to break a rule like that. You can’t even manage to clock in for work less than five minutes early.” Connor laid the watch down in front of him. “I’ll give this to Dominic. Honestly, I’m ready to tell him to go full-on technology in protecting Kelly. She was tracked. We didn’t see that drone until we combed through hours of footage, frame by frame. We can’t risk this happening again.”
Sam wished he’d been able to convince Kelly to make the move, but that just wasn’t possible. “I wish I’d gained her trust enough to protect her. She isn’t ready to move. I did give her Zeus as personal protection. Zeus is not going to let anyone who isn’t from Wayside anywhere near her.”
Connor drummed his fingers on the desk. “I guess that will have to be good enough for now until Kelly is ready to trust, but I feel like if she trusts anyone it will be you.”
Edwyn looked uncomfortable for a moment. “I hate to ask this, and I don’t mean to change the subject, but have you had any success in finding Nadine? You haven’t said anything yet and . . . if you can’t, it’s fine. I just wish I could tell her that I’m sorry. ”
Connor frowned. “I haven’t. Not yet. Dad was doing a lot of the research for me while he was watching cameras. I’ll have Lacy continue the task. We’ll find her. This isn’t over. You’ll be our final mission. You deserve the same chance as everyone else.”
“What about you?” Sam wouldn’t usually challenge Connor, but this was different. Connor and Lacy needed to be together, not just friends. Anyone with eyes could see they were more than that.
Connor shook his head. “Lacy has already said no, never, multiple times. That ship has sailed. I had my second chance, and I blew it.”
“Have you heard from Teddy?” Edwyn changed the subject yet again.
Connor shook his head and rolled his eyes. “He’s in in a little town near Devil’s Tower, and whatever he’s up to is a secret. He’s not telling me anything. Kind of wish I had one of these watches on him.”
Sam chuckled, though the situation with the watch wasn’t funny. “I hope he comes back soon.”
Connor’s look said he doubted that was going to happen.