Echo
T he conversation he’d had with Rae, who he knew he needed to start thinking of as Reina, remained on Wilson’s mind long after the call ended. By some stroke of luck, his and Tessman’s flight to St. Thomas was not canceled. It was one of only a handful of flights to make it out of O’Hare International Airport the following morning.
After takeoff, as the two men settled in for their flight, Wilson opened an email on his phone from Shepherd with some articles Shepherd suggested the team read. He was behind on his reading and saw this as a good opportunity to catch up.
“A Shepherd article?” Tessman asked.
“Yeah,” Wilson answered, but then clicked out of it. The flight attendant was nearly to them, and he planned to get a drink. “I can’t wait to be below the waves.”
“Something’s eating you,” Tessman remarked. “You’ve been off all morning.”
“Nah, not off, and nothing’s eating me.”
“Really?” Tessman pressed.
Yes, Tessman knew him well. He’d been thinking about Rae and his conversation with her all morning. “Do you think I have a white knight complex?”
Tessman laughed out loud. “You, Mister let the chips fall where they may? Mister, it all pays the same? No. What fool accused you of that?”
“I came to it on my own, trying to figure out my motives.”
“I’m not following you,” Tessman said just as the flight attendant stopped her cart at their row and gazed between the two of them appreciatively.
“What would you like?” she asked with a smile.
Tessman grinned at the pretty young woman. “Darling, you’d slap me if I told you what I wanted,” he said. “I’ll be happy with a rum and diet, though.” He chuckled.
She giggled along with him. She’d been quite friendly to them both when they first boarded early and identified themselves as armed law enforcement. Flight crews always loved to have armed law enforcement on their flights.
“Make it two,” Wilson said with a chuckle. Tessman looked at least fifteen years younger than he was. This woman was young, looked to be in her early twenties, too young for either of them.
“Are you staying long in St. Thomas?” she asked.
“Just a long weekend,” Tessman said. “Do you fly back out this afternoon?”
“No, I’m actually meeting a girlfriend there and we’re staying until we work again, a late afternoon flight on Sunday. Maybe we’ll see you around the island. Where are you staying?” she asked as she handed them their drinks. She slipped them both an extra little bottle of rum with a wink.
Wilson just popped open his can of soda pop as Tessman and the flight attendant traded hotel info. He took a long drink. He was normally up for a good time meeting women while on a short vacation, but this time, he just wasn’t interested. It must have been her age, he told himself.
“So, white knight?” Tessman asked.
“Never mind,” Wilson said.
“No, you brought it up. What motives?”
And Wilson thought he hadn’t been listening. “Someone said something yesterday that got me thinking?”
“Lassiter?” Tessman asked.
“No. He doesn’t know about this. Would probably have a field day with me if he did.”
“Okay, Taco, man, just out with it already?” Tessman said. “I’ll tell you if you need to talk to a shrink about it or if you need to just get over yourself. Then we can focus on diving. What is it?” He took a big swig of his drink.
“There’s a woman from one of our missions I’ve stayed in touch with.” He dropped his voice to a whisper and leaned into Tessman’s ear. “Do you remember Rae Ella Easton from a mission nearly a year ago?”
“Norfolk, dead undercover DEA agent, Marshals relocatee after,” he rattled off.
“Yes. Her new name is Reina. We text and talk occasionally. Yesterday she referred to us as friends and that word won’t leave me. I can’t define our relationship.”
“You sleeping with her?” Tessman asked.
“No,” he answered, outraged that Tessman would ask that. “She’s had enough men use her.”
“Okay, so a skanky whore you won’t touch,” Tessman summed up.
“No, and don’t talk about her that way. She’s really cleaned up, is living sober and respectable. I’m really proud of her.”
“Ah, princess on a pedestal syndrome,” Tessman said.
“No, not even close.”
“White knight, so you think you see her as a project, someone you have to save?” Tessman then posed.
Wilson took another long drink. He refilled the little plastic cup from the can of diet and dumped in the liquid from the second little rum bottle. “I don’t know. She’s got a good heart, which is surprising because she’s had a hard life. She’s a survivor. I respect that. She bounces stuff off me because she’s got no one else she can talk to who knows her story. I never considered how lonely it has to be when the Marshals give someone a new identity.”
“Do you want to sleep with her?” Tessman asked.
“What kind of question is that?”
Tessman laughed. “So you do.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“You didn’t say you didn’t, which means you do. You don’t like the word friend because you’d prefer it be friends with benefits, lover, fuck buddy, or whatever word you want to use for sleeping with her. Is it just sexual? Tell me you can at least define if it’s a physical thing or if your mind is all screwed up.”
Wilson regretted bringing this up. “Until the word friend was thrown out, I didn’t think about it one way or the other.”
“Are you pissed because she thinks of you as just a friend? Would you prefer she thinks about you sexually?”
“How do you know she doesn’t?” Wilson challenged.
“Because if you had even the slightest hint that she did, you would have slept with her by now.”
“Thanks for that commentary on my character. She’s been through a lot. She doesn’t need another predator in her life.”
“She needs a friend,” Tessman said. “So, you’ve filled that role.” His tone of voice was mocking.
“Just forget it,” Wilson said.
“Name women who are not our coworkers or wives of our coworkers, who you’d say is a friend,” Tessman prompted.
Wilson shook his head. There were none. There were ex-girlfriends, fuck buddies, hookups, but no female friends.
“And your point is?”
“You didn’t even name Reina,” Tessman said. “If you considered her a friend, her name would have flown out of your mouth to prove me wrong, if nothing else. So, the question is, if you don’t want to sleep with her and you don’t consider her a friend, why have you continued the relationship with her? Because, even if you can’t put a name on what it is, it is some sort of relationship that you have with her. And I don’t think you have a white knight complex.”
Wilson inwardly groaned. Oh fuck, Tessman was right.
“She considers you a friend and tells you things going on in her life. I doubt you reciprocate,” Tessman said.
“You know damn well we can’t talk about what we do,” Wilson countered.
“Did you tell her about this trip? That wouldn’t be violating operation protocol. It is something one would tell a friend about, you know, sharing your life.”
He wanted to tell Tessman to go fuck himself. He did tell her about his life, probably more than he should and certainly more than he had shared with any other woman. “I would have if the word friend hadn’t fucked with me. I’ve told her about other trips, and I’m sure I’ll tell her about it next time I talk to her.”
“So, maybe you’re thinking about this all wrong. Maybe you should be asking yourself why considering her a friend is so bad,” Tessman posed.
“Maybe that’s it. I don’t do friends with women. I do coworkers and coworkers’ wives, a few of whom I’d say I’d consider friends because of a work relationship. But if those work relationships went away, so would the contact with that woman.”
“Unless it was sexual or became sexual,” Tessman said.
“Yeah. Does that make me shallow?” Wilson asked.
“Fuck if I know. I’m not a shrink,” Tessman said.
Wilson finished his drink in one swallow. “I won’t be asking Lassiter about that. Okay, I consider this resolved. Now we focus on diving. We get in early enough that we should be able to get a dive in this afternoon at the shallow reef at Coki Beach.”
Tessman motioned to the flight attendant for two more drinks. Since they’d be diving later, it would be their last until after. She included her phone number on a napkin with the soda pop cans and mini rum bottles she dropped on his tray table. He flashed her an appreciative smile as he picked the napkin up, making a point of folding it up and putting it into a pocket while she watched. Yes, he’d be getting in touch with her while on the island.
They didn’t exchange too much more conversation until they deplaned. Both men traveled with only a backpack, so they exited the airport and hailed a taxi quickly. They checked into their rooms and changed into clothes appropriate to wear for diving.
As he plunged beneath the waves, enveloped in the seventy-eight-degree water, calm washed over Wilson. Through his mask, his gaze took in the immense beauty of the world under the water. The water all around sparkled as the sun penetrated it, displaying a multitude of blue and aqua shades. The reef was just under him, teaming with life in an array of brilliant colors. And the current gently caressed him, which he always found relaxing. When he was diving, he felt at peace.
Due to the time of day, it was just a short dive, and they were topside before either man would have liked. After they returned to the hotel and showered, Wilson met Tessman at the hotel bar. When he arrived, Tessman sat at the bar chatting with two women who appeared to be in their late twenties or early thirties. Wilson took a seat beside Tessman.
The bartender, a tanned and tattooed blonde older woman, flashed him a smile. “What’ll it be?” She had a New York accent.
“Bacardi and Diet,” he ordered. “Lime, if you have it.”
“Yes, sir,” she said, motioning to the lime slices in front of her in her prep area. “You just get in today?”
“Yes, ma’am,” he said, mimicking her formality. “Got in early enough to get a dive in.”
“Here’s my friend,” Tessman said. “Wilson, this is Tanya and Jackie. They’re from Atlanta.” He motioned first to the dark-haired woman, and then the blonde.
“Hello, ladies,” Wilson said with a nod and a smile. They were both attractive, tanned, and it looked like the drinks in their hands were not their first of the day. They had that look of vacation day drinking, spilling over to night drinking. The bartender slid his drink in front of him. “Thank you,” he said, beaming her a more natural smile than the forced one he’d put on when greeting the two women.
“So, what do you do when you’re not on vacation?” Tanya, the dark-haired woman, asked, her gaze sweeping over both men. She had a southern accent one would expect.
“Talk about when we can take our next vacation, but while on vacation, we don’t talk about work,” Tessman replied with a wink and a smile. “We’re here to enjoy diving and our drinks and have a good time with any lovely ladies we may meet while doing either.”
“Diving, snorkeling or scuba?” Jackie asked.
“Scuba,” Tessman answered.
“We’ve been out snorkeling several times since we’ve got here, but neither of us are dive certified. Is that even the correct way to say it? Anyway, I bet that would be incredible to see what’s down twenty or thirty feet,” Jackie said.
“It is,” Tessman said. “You two should definitely do it. Get certified.”
They had a second round of drinks and then Tessman invited the ladies to join them for dinner at the patio grill. It was obvious that Tessman and Jackie were attracted to each other, and the two instantly became engaged in conversation. Wilson noted that Tanya was friendly, funny, and showed glimpses of being extremely intelligent in some of her statements, but she was not nearly as friendly as Jackie was.
“So, what do you do for a living?” Wilson asked Tanya. It was something he normally wouldn’t ask, but they seemed to exhaust the vacation talk, and it was beginning to feel awkward.
“You’re not going to believe me,” Tanya said.
“Try me,” Wilson said. He was enjoying the evening far more than he thought he would. And while Tanya was friendly and pleasant, she wasn’t flirtatious, like Jackie was with Tessman, which was good. He wasn’t in the mood for that.
“I’m a student in the final year of my PhD program in astrophysics,” she answered plainly.
Wilson smiled and nodded. “I believe you.”
“This is where you say pretty and smart too, because you don’t know what else to say about it.”
He couldn’t read her tone of voice. “I would never say anything that demeaning,” he said. “That’s quite an accomplishment. What’s the topic of your dissertation?”
Her face took on an impressed expression. “Reading and interpreting gamma-ray radiation and other high energy phenomena. We need to look at different spectrums of measure, as I believe we’re missing signals that we should be studying.”
“That’s quite interesting, but I won’t pretend I understand any of it. If you can dumb any of it down, I’d love to hear more.”
“You would?”
“Yes, I would. I take it most of the men you meet generally don’t show an interest?”
“I don’t think most believe me and if they do, I think they’re intimidated by it.”
“Well, my mom always said if you want to meet a nice Christian woman, go to church, not a bar. So, I suppose the same holds true for finding an intelligent, interested man. You’re probably not going to find him in a bar, either.”
“Present company excluded,” she said. “You seem quite intelligent. Your friend glossed over my question regarding your jobs.”
Wilson signaled their server. She came right over. He ordered another round of drinks for everyone. Tessman and Jackie halted their intensely intimate conversation just long enough to place their dinner orders.
“So, your job?” Tanya asked after the server moved away.
Wilson thought about his answer for a moment. Usually, it was military or unspecified law enforcement. He tended to keep it simple and vague. “You’re not going to believe me,” he answered, borrowing her original answer.
“Try me,” she replied with a smile.
He flashed her a coy grin. When he spoke again, his voice was quieter. “Federal law enforcement.”
“You carry a badge and a gun?” she asked with her eyebrows raised, the volume of her voice matching his.
“Yes, ma’am.”
She shook her head. “You don’t look the part.”
A smirk formed on Jimmy’s face. “That’s the point.”
“You do undercover work,” she stated in an even quieter voice.
Wilson gave her a small shrug and then took a drink. He noticed that Tessman and the blonde were in their own little world and weren’t paying any attention to them. That was a shame. Jackie looked as though she could be one of those women who got turned on by the assumed danger of their job. Of course, as cozy as they looked, Tessman wouldn’t need any added incentive to score with her tonight.
Tanya, on the other hand, was one who would never become involved with a man who did a dangerous job, wouldn’t want the worry that came with it. She was level-headed and analytical. He wasn’t sure how his teammates’ wives handled it as well as they did. And he was even more baffled why he was considering any of this. He had no real interest in Tanya beyond the physical attraction, not that a vacation fling would develop into anything. Plus, it was the last night on the island for the ladies. Their vacation would be over the next afternoon when they caught their flight home to Atlanta.
His thoughts and his discussion with Tanya drifted to many other topics after their meals arrived. By the time they’d all finished their dinners, Tessman and Jackie had become a bit more engaged with their table mates, but soon thereafter announced they were going for a walk on the beach. Both Wilson and Tanya knew was code for going back to his room to fuck.
“I wouldn’t mind a walk on the beach,” Tanya said after Tessman and Jackie disappeared from view. “But I have to tell you, I’m not a hook-up kind of girl. A walk. That’s it before I go back to my room to read and have an early bedtime. We were drinking in the sun most of the day and I’m really tired.”
Wilson grinned. “I have some reading I need to get to as well.” He signed the bill, charging it to his room. Tessman would pick up other costs. That was never an issue. “But I’d enjoy a walk on the beach.” Not that he’d mind some meaningless sheet time with Tanya. He may not be interested in her or any woman for a relationship, but he was human and male, and he rarely turned down sex with a woman he was attracted to.
“Thank you for dinner,” she said, nodding to the bill.
“You’re welcome.” He finished his drink, noticing that she’d finished hers and also deposited her napkin on her plate.
He stood. “That walk?”
She rose and took his offered hand. The sun had set nearly an hour earlier. The moon shone brightly over the water, illuminating their way. The beach was crowded near the resort, but the farther they walked, the fewer people they encountered. Knowing how the evening would end made the time together comfortable with no pressure or guessing, would they or wouldn’t they end up in his bed.
He noticed how she stared at the night sky with a peaceful look gracing her beautiful face and, for the first time that evening, really considered what holding her and kissing her would feel like. “When you look up there, you see things the rest of us don’t,” he said.
“I’m sure I do. Or at least I think about things not many other people do.” She pulled on his hand, stopping them both. She spun to face him. “You seem like a good person, Jimmy. And you’ve been a gentleman in every way. I appreciate that. I’m not going to bed with you tonight, but I wanted to do this.” She rose up on her toes and leaned into him, pressing a kiss to his lips.
Wilson was momentarily surprised by her kiss, but that didn’t stop him from returning it and deepening it, his tongue dueling with hers and exploring her mouth for several wonderful minutes. Of course, his body reacted, but she pulled away too soon.
She retook his hand and stepped back the way they’d come. “Let’s head back.”
He walked beside her in silence until they could see the beachfront of the resort ahead. “It’s been a nice evening talking with you.”
“I believe you mean that. I’m sorry it didn’t turn out as you probably expected, a night in bed.”
“Expected, no. Desired, yes. Disappointed, a little. But you were straight from the beginning of what tonight would and wouldn’t be.”
“Thank you for your honesty,” she said.
“And yours. I appreciate someone who states their intentions and boundaries.”
“I’m often called a bitch, or worse, because of it.”
“I’m sure you are. Most men don’t really want that kind of honesty from a woman they’ve met and are hoping to take to bed. They want the possibility that if they play it just right, the no will turn into a maybe, which will become a yes before the night’s over,” he said.
She laughed. “I don’t know why people play games like that. It’s no wonder so many people are single and can’t find lasting love, if that’s really a thing.”
“You don’t believe in true love?” he asked.
“I didn’t say true love. I said lasting love. I think people do truly fall in love, or think they do. The problem is it doesn’t last. Or maybe it’s that once the initial rush of hormones people newly in love experience wear off, they discover the other person isn’t who they thought they were or wished they would be. The divorce rate wouldn’t be what it is if that wasn’t the case.”
“I never thought of it that way,” he said.
“You’re single. Have you ever been head-over-heels in love?” she asked.
Wilson laughed uncomfortably. “A very long time ago.”
“Not recently?” she pressed.
“I’ve been too busy and not in situations that would allow me to have personal relationships,” he answered honestly.
She nodded her understanding. “You’re married to your career. I am too. It’s been a long road for me to be as close as I am to earning my doctorate. There’s been a lot of sacrifices, putting my education first. But it’s worth it. Can you say the same thing?”
With no hesitation, Wilson answered, “Yes, it has. The mission is important. There aren’t many who can do the job we do.”
“You make the world a better place,” she said.
“I’d like to think so,” he said. He knew the people they helped would agree with that statement.
“Do you ever feel something is missing in your life?”
“No,” he replied automatically. He was completely content with his life.
“You are a rarity, Jimmy,” she said. She once again raised up on her toes and pressed a kiss to his lips. “I wish I’d met you a few years from now, when I may have time in my life for a relationship. You’re just the type of man I would want to share my life with, someone who is satisfied with their own life and not needing another to make them complete.”
“I’d say the same of you, Tanya.”
“Goodbye, Jimmy. Enjoy your time on the island and have a safe trip home.” She kissed his lips once more and then stepped away.
“Safe travels home, Tanya,” he said.
He watched her walk back to the resort until she was out of sight.