Epilogue – Hunter’s Story #3
Christine laughed. “There’s a little creature on her screen that looks like it’s on the ground.”
I pointed at the phone incredulously. “This is how she spends her time?”
“She was always a little quirky in the best ways,” she murmured with a smile though her eyes were sad. “It’s almost time to go.”
Leaning forward, face intent, she whispered to Noelle, “You are infinite. Your ability to give and receive love is infinite.”
Noelle’s face calmed as she stood and sucked in a deep, steadying breath.
And then she walked toward the river.
“Oh no,” I breathed. “What is she doing?”
“Calm down, Hunter,” my aunt reprimanded. “She’ll be fine.”
My hands slipped into my hair as I ran over to where Noelle was edging closer. “Get back, Noelle! You’ve got precious cargo on board!”
“Hunter,” Christine snorted my name, then began to giggle as I ran back and forth in front of Noelle, my feet making no splash in the fucking frigid water.
“Fuck, that’s cold!”
Christine doubled over, wheezing.
When Noelle knelt down, I fell to my knees in front of her, trying my damnedest to splash her, hoping the frigid water would make her retreat.
“She’s saying goodbye,” Christine whispered, her soft hand falling to the crown of her daughter’s head.
Noelle reached forward and trailed the ribbon in the water for a moment before letting it go. “Mama, I’m sorry about the gnomes.”
Christine laughed out loud, face soaked with tears.
Joy and pain.
Laughter and rain.
I felt the pull, hard, and reached for my aunt’s hand.
We landed on a bench next to a river much like the one we just left. I kept her hand in mine. For a long time, we said nothing.
Finally, I had to ask, “Weren’t you worried?”
“Nah.” She sniffed. “You had her.”
My chest split wide open as I whispered, “Thanks.”
She smiled. “You always had a bad habit of underestimating yourself.” She shook her head. “Terrible, terrible taste in Halloween costumes.”
“You really need to let that go, you know?”
She slanted a warning glance in my direction.
I grinned. “I can’t count how many times I’ve gotten that look.”
“You know,” she began thoughtfully, patting my hand. “We were always secretly proud of your antics.”
My eyebrows flew up. “Really?”
“Oh, yeah,” she laughed. “Terrified of you taking it too far and blowing up somebody’s barn, but proud just the same.”
“Huh,” I mused.
She bumped me with her shoulder. “Me and your mom made fifty bucks off The Great Lawn Tractor Race.”
My jaw fell. “You did not!”
She snorted. “People grow up, Hunter-baby. But they don’t change much. The same spirit you and Harley share? You get that from your mom. Hawkley is more like your dad.”
“I’ve spent a lot of time with Harley,” I mused. “And I met Daire. He seems like a good guy.”
“You’re going there next.”
I raised my eyebrows. “You’re not coming?”
Standing, she turned and bent at the waist. With her hands cupping my face, she leaning close and pressed her lips to first one closed eye, then the other. “I’ll be here when you get back.”
I kept my eyes closed for a moment longer, the sudden heaviness in the air warning me of what was to come. Gathering my courage, I opened my eyes to meet the vacant stare of my sister as she stared out over the water.
When she turned to walk, I walked with her.
There was something different about today, the air thick with sadness. “Did somebody hurt you, Harley?” I demanded.
Not like I could do anything about it. I felt the pull to leave but resisted, trudging along beside her toward the bluffs.
At the foot of the hiking trail, I felt the pull again.
I shook my head and moved closer to my sister as she began to climb, but this time it stole me away.
Like wind whipping through leaves, it whisked me away to an angry Daire yelling over the phone.
“Where is she? This is not a day she should be alone!”
The realization poured over me like the shock of a bucket of icy water.
“She’s at Wildflower Bluffs,” I told him.
He hung up the phone and cursed.
I walked closer. “She’s at Wildflower Bluffs, Daire. She’s at the bluffs.”
“Fuck!” he exclaimed, his hands rolling into fists.
Frustration boiled over. “The bluffs! She’s at the mother-fucking bluffs! C’mon, man! You know where she goes when she’s hurting. Follow the beach to Wildflower Bluffs.”
I watched with relief as something in his eyes settled. “Yes,” I nodded. “That’s it. She needs you.”
Like whiplash, I was back on the trail with Harley, passing The Lookout and the bench where we engraved our names so many years before.
“We had fun, didn’t we, Harley?” I murmured. “We were a bit naughty, but harmless.”
Harley’s stance was stiff and unyielding, yet brittle. As if she was held together with nothing more than spit and sticky tape.
Finally, we reached The Point, a rocky plateau strewn with a smattering of trees, wide open to the elements, and well beyond the safer confines of The Lookout where most people stopped.
I stood close beside her. “You always astounded me, Harley. So small, so fierce. You were an unstoppable force.” I swallowed. “I am so proud to be your big brother. Remember we used to come up here and scream into the wind?”
I did it more than she did. There were times, God, terrible times I believed my brain would split in two. I came up here, let that energy out, and returned more whole.
“Want me to scream with you?”
Harley’s pretty face twisted into a grimace as she pushed the heels of her palms into her eyes. Her breath huffed in and out in little gasps.
“It’s okay, Harley,” I whispered. “Everything is okay.”
An agonized inhuman bark burst from her throat.
“That’s right, Harley,” I urged. “Let it out.”
“Oh, God,” she gasped. “Hunter,” she rasped, the wind stealing her voice.
She sobbed and rolled her little hands into fists.
“I’m here,” I answered, pressing my forehead to hers.
She gulped, her breath heaving in and out, though her voice failed. “Hunter.”
“I’m here, Harley,” I chanted. “I’m here, I’m here, I’m here.”
Here where we stole away when the world became too much for me. When I needed rest. When I needed to yell and scream and release the cauldron of energy that forever boiled beneath my skin.
Here where the wind would carry it all away.
“Hunter,” she sobbed.
“I’m so sorry, Harley,” I choked.
Voice choked with grief, she said, “Hunter, I miss you so much.”
My chest heaved.
I lifted my face to the wind.
Pulled in a deep breath, then another as the pressure and panic in my lungs mounted.
I walked with her as close to the edge as we could safely muster while her body quaked like the leaves on the trees.
She tipped back her head, sucked in a breath, clenched her hands into fists, and roared my name into the ether.
“Hunter!”
She closed her eyes, relief apparent on her face.
I tipped my chin back, inhaled, and screamed into the wind.
The wind slapped the wet from her cheeks.
“Hunter!” She thundered, her voice breaking. “I miss you.”
Tears ran down her face.
And mine.
Throat tight with grief, I whispered, “It’s time to say goodbye, Harley.”
Face set in furious lines, she opened her chest, spread her arms wide, and raised her face to the sky. “Hunter!”
I turned with her. And as my name turned into a scream on her lips, I screamed with her. Veins popping out on my neck, I released my pain.
My regret.
My horror over what I’d done to them.
And when she dropped to the rock beneath our feet, I went with her.
Calmer now, I urged, “He’s a good man, Harley. Give your pain to him.”
“Hunter,” she rasped. “Hunter. Hunter. Hunter.” She cried, her face twisting with grief. “Hunter.”
“I’m so fucking glad you weren’t in that car, Harley,” I sobbed.
“Hunter,” she sobbed raggedly. “I’m so sorry.”
“I’m so fucking glad you get to live on in the world. You’re going to make beautiful babies with that man. That wishing stone?” A watery laugh broke from my lips as the certainty of her future pressed against my conscious. “He’s my wish for you.”
She curled up on her side and hugged her legs to her chest.
Lying down facing her, I cupped my hands around hers. “He’s coming.”
Her breathing evened out just as he arrived. I kissed my sister on her forehead and rose to meet him.
“Be good to her.”
“Harley,” he whispered. “I’ve got you.”
I watched as he curled around her on the ground.
Watched as she latched into him.
Watched as he held her through the storm and provided a safe place to land.
And when the tension drained from her face, I followed the pull that dragged me away.
“Are you okay?” He asked, his big hand gentle on my bowed head.
“He’ll stay?” I begged.
“He’ll stay.”
I nodded. “They’re, uh, keeping me really busy.
There’s so much suffering. How do you do it?
” I asked.“It’s my nature. But I try to get you all to help each other.
And I have people who work hard for me.”I tilted my head to look at Him.
“Like priests and pastors?”He wagged His head back and forth.
“Some. Here let me show you one of my favourites.”I slanted a glance at him.
“Are you allowed to have favourites?”He shrugged. “Who’s going to tell me I can’t?”
Opening His hands, he opened a circle like a porthole on the side of a ship. Inside, I watched a janitor walk the halls of a deserted school, her hand dragging along the lockers.
“Listen,” He urged.
Over and over, she murmured, “Cover, protect, bless, keep, guide, heal, be near.”
“And bring safely home to me,” He added.
With those words, I fell into a deep sleep.
“Open your eyes,” He demanded softly. “I want to show you something.”
Spreading open the heavens like a curtain, he showed me Wren, Max’s old girlfriend, sitting on the floor clutching the bear I bought her.
“Aaron is the reason you’re here.”
My eyebrows flew up. “I thought it was to help my family.”
“It is. And you’ll do that through him.”
“Is Wren going to be okay?”
He smiled. “Watch.”
Her cries burst forth like a child’s until, like a child’s, they wrung out.