Chapter 60
CHAPTER 60
HAYES
I was awake at the ass crack of dawn, my head pounding and my stomach churning. The hangover was brutal, but it was nothing compared to the guilt gnawing at me. I wished like hell I would have the benefit of not remembering. That would make this all a little easier. Unfortunately, I remembered every horrible moment.
The hangover was a cruel reminder of my mistakes, but it was nothing compared to the ache in my chest. I couldn’t shake the memory of Dixie’s face, her eyes wide with hurt and disbelief. I had let her down, and the thought of it felt like a dagger in my heart.
Reaching for my phone, I hesitated. Should I call her? Apologize? But what could I say? The words would come out hollow, insincere, especially after what I’d said. I knew I needed to give her space, but the desire to hear her voice, to know she was okay, was overwhelming.
A phone call wasn’t the right way to do this. She deserved to see the whites of my eyes as I groveled at her feet. But I was in no condition to face her just yet.
I threw off the covers and stood, swaying slightly as the room spun. I made my way to the kitchen, grabbing a glass of water and collapsing onto a chair. I gulped the water, knowing it was going to make the headache worse, but I was so fucking thirsty.
Tequila.
Damn, that shit had fucked me up. I was officially never drinking tequila again.
I had to get to Dixie. I had to explain how everything had gone sideways last night. I needed to tell her about her mother, the check, and all the doubt that had turned me into a monster. I hated what I’d done, how I’d hurt her, and I wasn’t sure if she would forgive me. But I had to try.
I finished the water and filled the glass with orange juice, carrying it back to my bedroom to get dressed. I threw on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt, not bothering to shower or fix my disheveled appearance. My hands were shaking as I grabbed my keys and headed for the door.
When I opened it, I stopped short. Isaac was standing there, his fist raised like he was about to knock. We both froze, surprised to see each other.
“Well, look at you,” Isaac said, his tone dripping with sarcasm. “You’re alive.”
I didn’t have the energy to bite back. “Yeah. I feel like shit.”
“Good,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest. “You deserve to.”
I didn’t argue. He was right. I brushed past him, heading for my car. “I have to go talk to Dixie.”
I stepped into the elevator and slapped the button, willing the dam box to move faster.
Isaac followed me, his voice sharp. “You think this is the right time? You’re still a mess, Hayes. You probably shouldn’t even be driving yet. It’s six a.m. You’d wake Dixie up—a pregnant woman. Not a considerate move, inconveniencing the woman you claim to love after you hurt her, all because you want to absolve your conscience?”
I actually flinched. His words were dead on. When had Isaac become the wise brother? He was supposed to be the fuck-up, not me.
I groaned, running a hand over my face. “This is embarrassing.”
“For both of us,” Isaac added, his tone softening slightly. “You have to get your shit together, man.”
“Don’t act like I’m a total fuck-up,” I muttered. “It was a moment of weakness.”
The elevator dinged with the doors sliding open. We both stood there for a second. Isaac jangled my keys in front of me. “Don’t you remember leaving your car at the club?” he asked.
I groaned. “Yes. No. Fuck.”
He pushed the button to take me right back up to the penthouse. “That’s what I thought.”
I glanced over at him. “Why are you up so early?”
“Because I haven’t been to bed yet.”
“Why?”
“Because we were all up late,” he said. “I somehow got to play designated driver. Don’t ask me how the hell that happened. After you left, I got sober real quick. I had to keep Grayson from coming here to kick your ass.”
I groaned. “Shit.”
The doors opened once again, and we were back in my foyer.
“You need to eat something,” Isaac said. “And take a fucking shower. You stink. Judging by the way you’re walking, I think you still might be drunk. I showed up at the right time. What kind of asshole goes back for round two with the woman carrying your child? Get in there and sit down while I order some food.”
He was right. Somehow, I was still just thinking about myself. It would be rude to wake Dixie. I knew how badly I’d hurt her last night, and she probably hadn’t gotten much sleep. Hell, she might have called Frankie, who’d swooped in to take care of her. I would be grateful if Frankie had been there for Dixie, but I also knew I would have to watch my back now. Frankie would probably be out for my head.
If Dixie was sleeping, I didn’t want to wake her. I’d wait until later in the morning and call her, see if we could get together to talk. More like I needed to grovel. I just hoped she would give me the chance to apologize. I would be lucky if she accepted that apology.
I exhaled, feeling a lot saner and in control after the much-needed reality check from Isaac. “You’re right. I’ll wait.”
Isaac nodded, his expression serious. “Good call.”
I collapsed onto the couch, my head in my hands while Isaac ordered food. I didn’t think I was hungry, but experience told me, I needed food. I was in bad shape. I needed to get my head straight and that didn’t start until I balanced out the alcohol level in my blood stream with some actual food and water.
“Loaded up on the good stuff,” Isaac said. “Coffee, too. I’m too tired to make any.”
“Thanks,” I said, my throat feeling a little raw after all the tequila shots last night. “For snapping me out of it. And for getting me the hell out of the wedding last night before things went even more sideways. How did the rest of the night go?”
Isaac leaned back. “To keep Armand and Kathy from being distracted by their own wedding, Hudson, Grayson, and I told them that you and Dixie left together. They think nothing’s wrong and assumed the two of you wanted to enjoy the rest of your night alone. Dad and Kathy are animals. They were still dancing at two in the morning. A lot of our cousins were living it up as well. Apparently, there was some mission to take advantage of the fact they all had babysitters for the night. I dropped off the last one at four. Went home, showered, and figured I better bring you your car.”
I winced. “So they have no idea what happened?”
“Nope,” Isaac said. “But you’re going to have to tell them the truth. We just covered for you last night so as not to disrupt the wedding. We weren’t about to let you ruin their day.”
I nodded, my stomach churning. “I know. I’ll talk to them.”
Isaac studied me for a moment, then sighed. “You should probably reach out to Hudson, too. You took a swing at him. Do you remember that?”
I grimaced as the memory flooded back. I hadn’t, but I remembered now. “Shit. Fuck. I didn’t hit him, though.”
“You couldn’t have hit the broad side of a barn with how drunk you were,” he said.
“Yeah, well, Hudson can handle himself,” I muttered, though the memory of the attempt made me cringe.
Isaac shook his head. “You’re lucky he didn’t deck you. He was pissed.”
I groaned. “I guess I need to reach out to him. Apologize.”
“He’s just disappointed. You know how he is. Hudson is used to being the one that gets drunk.”
I buried my hands in my hair, tugging at the roots. “I can’t believe I was so reckless. I never do that shit.”
“Hey, it’s about time you did something we can give you shit about,” he said with a laugh. “Go take a shower. You smell like a tequila factory exploded on you. Breakfast will be waiting when you get out.”
I didn’t argue. The hot water stung my skin, but it was a good kind of pain. It helped clear my head, helped me think. I needed to make a plan. First, I’d eat. Then I’d call Hudson and apologize. After that, I’d wait until Dixie was up and see if she’d talk to me. And then… I’d have to tell my dad and Kathy about the baby.
When I emerged from the bathroom, Isaac had set out a spread of breakfast food—eggs, pancakes, bacon, hash browns, and two cups of black coffee from the shop across the street. My stomach growled when I smelled the food.
I sat down at the table where Isaac was already mowing through a plate-sized serving of hashbrowns.
I took a bite of eggs, chewing slowly. “Thanks, Isaac. I don’t say it enough, but… thanks for being here.”
“Anytime, brother. That’s what I’m here for. Besides, I can think of many, many times you saved my ass on a morning-after situation.”
I pushed a bite of pancake around my plate, my thoughts drifting to Dixie. I could only hope she’d give me the chance to prove I was serious about changing. About being better. For her, and for the baby.
“The whole thing is such a mess,” I said.
“It’s not really that big of a deal,” he said. “We’ve all had our moments. Just don’t let it happen again. And talk to Grayson. Smooth things out there.”
I grimaced. If anyone was going to be pissed about me nearly ruining his mom’s wedding, it was going to be Grayson.
“Yeah,” I muttered. “I’ll talk to him, too.”
“Hayes, you’ve got a lot of damage control to do. But first, you need to figure out what you want. Are you in or out? Because if you’re in, you’ve got to be all in. No more of this back-and-forth bullshit. Don’t you dare think you can write a check and walk away. Dixie and her baby are officially under the Bancroft Protection Wing. You might not want to be with her, but all of us are going to look out for her and the baby. You better be okay with that.”
I nodded, his words hitting home. “I’m in. I’m all in.”
Isaac studied me for a moment, then nodded. “Good. Then start acting like it. Make sure she fucking knows it.”
We finished eating the massive spread of food. Every bite did a little more to restore me to a feeling of being almost human. Finally, Isaac stood up, clapping me on the shoulder.
“Get some rest,” he said. “You look like hell. I’m going home and crawling into bed. Please don’t do anything stupid until at least tomorrow. I need to sleep.”
I managed a weak smile. “Thanks for coming over and bringing my car back and all the other shit.”
He smirked. “I think we’re even now.”
After Isaac left, I sat there for a long time, my mind racing. I knew I had a lot of work to do—apologies to make, conversations to have, trust to rebuild. Now, I just needed to do it. Knowing and doing were very different.