Chapter 22
Summer
I understood every stupid word coming out of his mouth.
I saw the pain in his eyes.
And I felt my heart rip in two as he chose her.
I hadn’t been enough… one again.
I avoided him like the plague the rest of the afternoon, and then I wanted to thank him for choosing to break my heart on a Friday so I didn’t have to see his handsome face for at least two days.
Dylan was out of town with the boys again, so I made up every excuse in the book to spend time with Maddi. She held me as I cried, and we watched The Notebook, both of us wishing for a man like Noah.
My parents had been pressing me as of late for me to continue my education, to go further than an undergraduate degree, and after doing some research, I found a program that I believed would save me.
Standing before my parents on Sunday night, I wrung my hands together, suddenly overcome with nerves. They weren’t going to like this idea of mine at all, but I needed to get away.
And what better excuse than college in an accelerated program at a top business school in Georgia that was situated conveniently by my grandparent’s lake house where I could stay and be completely isolated from everyone and anything that could possibly break my already broken heart?
“I’d like to apply for this master’s program at a school in Georgia,” I started, eyeing them carefully to see their reaction. Mom’s eyes grew wide, and Dad swallowed thickly, resting his hand on hers.
My dad was a good man, always there for my mother, a strong resilient force that knew when to be ready to catch her or to help her conquer any demon. I thought I found my hero like Mom had, but of course, I had been fooled yet again.
I should have known that Colton was too good to be true. Everyone knew if someone was too perfect, it wouldn’t last. I wish I had known sooner before handing over my heart like a foolish, love-struck teenager.
I was a woman, for Christ’s sake.
I should have known.
That sexy grin was only going to get me into trouble.
“For how long, Summer?” My dad asked, and I watched his hand rub soothing circles on my mother’s, keeping her calm.
“Just a year. It’s an accelerated program where I take two classes every eight weeks. I’d have class every day, and I thought that I could stay at the lake house up there.” I swallowed nervously. “I’d come back home and visit a few times, of course,” I added, knowing that would help sway my mom.
“Last time we mentioned this, you were opposed. Has something happened?” My mom finally spoke up, sadness creeping into her blue eyes.
I started to shake my head, but her gaze intensified. “I just need to get away, and I’d like to go up there. I’ll come back as often as you want. I would like to apply for the program tomorrow with your permission.”
“How much is it going to cost? Are they expecting you to be a full-time student, or can you work?” My dad asked, resting one arm on the cool counter separating me from them.
“Thirty-six thousand without scholarships, but I should be able to get at least one. I graduated with a pretty high GPA, which will help. I’d have to be a full-time student,” I added, answering his other question. “There wouldn’t be time to work – maybe on the weekends,” I mused. “I thought about getting a job at a restaurant or a coffee bar.” Dad thoughtfully nodded, and I watched him mentally calculate the numbers.
“It would be that plus your expenses for a year,” Mom added, looking at my father.
“Are you sure this is something you want – to be so far from everything you’ve ever known?” If only they knew just how heartbroken I truly was, they would see this as it truly was: my ticket out of here, my one chance to heal and come back whole.
Maddi would be starting some fancy college in the fall in North Carolina, which we had found out was a short, three-hour drive from the school I was interested in. I wouldn’t be completely alone.
“Does this have to do with Dylan or Colton?” My father finally asked the one question I was really hoping he wouldn’t.
It did have to do with Colton. I needed to get away because I wouldn’t be able to just pretend that I wasn’t in love with him.
“At first, yes,” I said, not lying, “but then I looked into the program, saw what some of the alumni have done, and decided that it was time to burn my own path. I want to learn new tricks and help you both take both your companies to the next level. I want to meet new people and make friends that don’t know me here.”
They both nodded, and I sighed in disappointment. They weren’t going to let me leave. Who was I kidding? We were an extremely close family. Hell, I was happy to be living at home at twenty-two. I didn’t want to move out and live alone, but yet, I knew I needed to do this. I loved my family, but I needed to find out who I was without them for a little bit, and I needed their blessing to do this.
“I don’t like the idea of you all alone up there. What if something happens to you? Your father and I can’t just drive to you if there’s an emergency.” Mom brought up a good point, something I had thought about, too.
“Mads will be going to college a few hours away. I won’t be completely alone.”
Please let me go. Please let me go. Please, I mentally pleaded as my parents looked at each other, a thousand questions swirling in their deep gazes. They’d always been able to read each other’s minds since I was little. With one look, the other seemed to know the situation.
I had dreamed of understanding what their looks meant, but I could never figure it out. So, I just prayed that I’d meet a man who would understand everything I was thinking from one look, but I still had some searching to do.
“Go ahead. Apply.” My eyes widened in disbelief. I hadn’t expected them to let me go. “When would you start?” Mom finally exhaled the jaw-dropping news with a big sigh, looking completely and utterly horrified at the words spewing from her lips.
“In a few weeks. I would have time to pack up some things and move into a room at the lake house before class starts in the fall.”
Dad nodded and moved his hand from Mom’s to wrap his arm around her waist, pulling her to his side.
I used to hate their nonstop affection, but the older I got, the more I understood it, the more I craved it.
Mom and Dad were the ultimate couple goals, not that I would ever let them know I thought that. But their love was goal-worthy.
I jumped up from my seat and practically jump over the counter to hug them. Excitement coursed through me at the idea of going on this new and exciting journey. “Oh, thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” I held onto both of them tightly.
My life was about to change. I just knew it.
But first, I had to make some changes. I had to get rid of my baggage and move on with a clean slate, completely empty of the men holding me back.
After applying, I called Maddi and told her the exciting news. We spent the rest of the night talking on the phone, planning out what we would do every weekend and the exciting adventures we would go on.
On Monday morning, I woke up with a plan. I was changing my life today, and no one could stop me. I was going to become the person I was always meant to be.
I wouldn’t let another man control my heart or make me cry. I was stronger than that.
Dylan had been practically radio silent over the weekend other than a text here and there. He didn’t reach out much, so he was my first obstacle to tackle.
Pressing his name from my favorites tab on my phone app, I waited as the line rang. What I was about to do might have been the wrong way to handle it, but I was tired of being his second pick.
When he finally answered, his voice was thick with sleep and slightly hungover. I decided to rip the band-aid right off.
Rolling to a stop at the traffic light, I drew in a deep breath. “I want to break up.” He loudly sighed through the phone and groaned.
“It’s too early for this, Summer, and I’m hungover. Can I call you later?” I lightly pressed the accelerator when the light turned green and split my focus between the call and the road.
“No. You barely make time for me, and I need to be with someone who is going to pick me over the freaking boys.” I resist the urge to scream the last part.
“Whatever. I don’t have time to keep up with your needy demands anyway. I have my own life to live. Call me later if you change your mind. I’m going back to bed,” he grumbled through the phone before disconnecting the line.
That had been easy.
My next obstacle was facing Colton.
We hadn’t been dating, but it sure as hell felt like he broke up with me on Friday. I had been so blindsided that I didn’t have a chance to say anything to him, and after spending the weekend crying and finding the strength to deal with him, I needed to let him know how I felt.
I pulled into my parking spot a few minutes later and waited for my song to finish before hopping out of the car, my blonde waves tumbling down my back. I had taken extra care in picking out my outfit today. I was wearing a form-fitting top with the company’s logo displayed across my chest and a pair of tight, jean shorts that accentuated my toned legs that had developed from hours spent at the gym.
I made sure that I looked hot enough for a double-take, and Colton didn’t disappoint when I felt his hot gaze trail over my body as I walked into the building.
Like I promised, I ignored him, not even bothering with a good morning because I knew if I heard his voice at that moment, I would cave and beg him to take me back even though I knew that I deserved better.
Convincing my heart that he wasn’t the one was proving to be difficult though.
At lunchtime, I approached him as he finished the car he was working on. I gathered all the courage I could muster and stared into his soul-sucking green eyes that only seemed to shine brighter under my gaze.
Damn him.
“You blindsided me on Friday, and I just have a few things I’d like you to know.” The familiar grin that was tugging at his lips dipped as they pulled into a frown.
“Summer, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—” he started, but I shook my head to stop him.
“I’ve never been ready for you, Colton, and you certainly weren’t ready for me. I deserve more than you were ever willing to give me. I’m sorry I let myself trust you, and I wish you hadn’t played with my heart. But that’s okay because you only taught me not to trust you.” Pain filled his gaze, and by pure strength only, I didn’t turn away. “I’m leaving soon to do my master’s away from here. I can’t stand to be around you anymore, so if you’re here in a few years, then I’ll see you. If you aren’t – well, I’m not holding my breath because I deserved better than the constant poor excuses you threw at me.”
He looked down at his hands before glancing up and looking over my shoulder. I squeaked in shock when he pushed me against the wall of the building, his body caging me in against the warm concrete.
I fought against the instant attraction. Heat emitted from the hands that held my waist. Our hearts beat rapidly, and his emerald eyes were intense as they stared into mine – so intense that it was hard to maintain eye contact.
“You’re right. You do deserve better, but you are wrong about some things. You are ready for me. You are ready to be loved by a real man, but I have my own demons to battle, and I can’t ask you to wait until they disappear. So, I’ll let you go for now, but I’m not giving up on you, darling.”
I shook my head and opened my mouth to object, but he lifted one finger to my lips, instantly stopping me.
“I wasn’t finished. I didn’t play with your heart because, Summer, my sweet girl, I fell for you. I fell damn hard, and one day, I will show you how much I love you.” He rested his forehead on mine. “Go and experience the world, baby girl. I’ll be here waiting for you. I told you one day you’d be mine. I wasn’t joking or playing a game. You will be mine one way or another. There’s no denying that.”
I shook my head despite my pounding heart.
Did he just admit to loving me?
Holy fuck! This man was killing me.
“I’ve made up my mind. I need to get away from you. I’m never going to let you come anywhere near my heart again.”
He shrugged. “You don’t have to let me near you. My name is already engraved on your heart, sweetheart, just as your name is on mine. You don’t understand now, but one day, you will. Go live, but just remember when the time is right, I will find you, and I will make you regret ever thinking you didn’t belong to me.”
This man was going to be the reason my heart burst out of my chest.
How can he say these things after telling me he was going to marry his fiancée? How could he love me and marry her?
Anger slid through my veins.
“How can you love me and marry her?” I pushed against his hold, but he was stronger.
“One day, you will understand, but not today.” He leaned forward again, his nose brushing against mine. I stopped breathing when his lips were a whisper away, so close yet so far from pressing against mine.
I subconsciously leaned forward, and our lips met. And like every other time we kissed, fireworks exploded behind my eyes, and I melted into him.
No matter how hard I fought the attraction, there was no denying myself of Colton Michaels.
He would always be my forbidden love.