Chapter 9 Eden #2
“It’s a cute place,” he mused. “Centrally located, decent amenities… you know who else has both of those things?”
“Mm. Let me guess. You?”
“Uh-huh. Angel, I want you to consider moving in with me when your lease is up.”
Although she saw it coming, Eden still wasn’t prepared for such an important invitation. “Really? So soon?”
“I mean, maybe if your lease had been up this month, we would wait another year, but I think by the time you have to give notice, we’ll know if it’s a good idea. Or not.”
A lot is waiting for my notice right now. “That’s a serious offer, Ben…”
“Think of all the money you’ll save. It’s not like I’m going to ask anything of you. Financially, I mean.”
Her face paled.
“Shit. I mean, I expect you to clean up after yourself and not throw crazy, destructive parties if I’m gone, but I didn’t think I had to say it until I implied…” His voice trailed off.
“That I could pay in sex instead?”
“Not what I meant.”
She chuckled. “I know. I’ll think about it, Ben. That’s a big step.”
“Yeah. I actually…” He cleared his throat again. “I haven’t lived with someone since…”
“Liam?”
He didn’t speak for a moment. “We never actually lived together, on paper. Obviously, we would have had we actually gotten… you know.”
There was Ursula Slay in Eden’s head again, giving one of the lucky grooms a lap dance at the reception. “Yeah.”
“Actually, I haven’t lived with someone since Sydney and I were married. I just had long-term relationships that spent most of their time at my place. They always still had a separate lease or mortgage elsewhere.”
“Well, you did tell me that you’re dating to marry these days.”
“I’m not thinking that far ahead, angel.”
“No, but you’re a serious guy. You’ve always been upfront about that. So, naturally, you’re thinking about me moving in with you when my lease is up. Even though…”
“What? Something wrong?”
“I…” She stopped, regathering her thoughts. “Have you talked to Liam about this?”
His brows didn’t as much furrow as they crunched down his face, as if Eden had asked if he sought his ex-wife’s opinion first. “Why would I ask him about it? We’re not together.”
“No, but… I’m also with him. I just thought maybe you’d have cleared it with him before asking me to move in with you.”
“What difference does it make?”
“Well, what if he wanted me to move in with him? Wouldn’t you want him to ask you about it first? To make sure it’s chill?”
Benson continued to look at her as if that was asinine.
But he said nothing, implying that the cogs now churned in his head.
You really didn’t ask him? Eden didn’t know how she felt about that.
On one hand, it was so like Benson to just ask for what he wanted and deal with the aftermath in the wake of a decision. On the other…
It implied that Benson didn’t think Liam was a real player in their little triad. That he would eventually accept some kind of defeat and slink away again.
“Liam knows how I feel about you.”
Eden’s breath hitched. “How do you feel, Ben?”
She hoped that she had asked that sweetly enough to lower his guard. I want to know. How do you feel about me? Right here, in this corner booth in an institution of Italian cuisine.
“I feel…” His hands clenched together on top of the table as he stared at the breadbasket. “A lot of things for you, angel. Big things. Scary things. Things I had been hoping to feel for someone again, but never thought I would. Let alone someone so much…”
“Younger than you?”
“I was gonna say in tune with the world.”
“Oh.”
“But, yeah. I attract people younger than me. Always have. Even with Syd. She’s nine months younger than me.”
“Oh, so much younger, Ben.”
He smiled a little. “I feel completely comfortable with you, Eden. I feel like I can be myself. My true self.”
She nodded, preparing herself to hear more.
“You don’t take things seriously. Unless it’s serious.
I need someone like that in my life. I think that was one of the things that broke Syd and me up.
She can be as morbidly serious as I. It was great in school.
It was great for raising a baby together during those crazy, formative years when you’re working full time and dealing with a screaming toddler when you get home.
It drives you apart when that kid grows up and becomes more independent.
As much as it killed me when she asked for a divorce, I can’t imagine us being married now at all. ”
“Yeah, you’re a serious guy. I try to be when it matters.”
“Liam… he’s the same way. An absolute dork unless shit is going down.”
“You just called my boyfriend a dork…”
“Well, he is.”
“He’d call you a nerd.”
“I’d deck him for it.”
“No, you wouldn’t.”
Benson sighed. “I didn’t ask Liam because, quite frankly, I don’t care what he thinks.
I want you to move in with me, Eden. I want to see where this seriously goes.
I want to take care of you. I want you by my side, whatever you decide to do for a career.
I want…” A softer side to his demeanor appeared.
“I want to go to bed with you every night. I love you.”
Wow. Wow…
He actually said it.
“I don’t expect a response from you right now, of course. Unless…”
“I love you too, Ben.”
It felt… well, it was freeing to say it.
A sentiment that had been building up within her ever since this man requested that he come to his guesthouse on a private island.
From the moment he first looked at me. From the moment he first touched her.
Eden had been falling in love. Had fallen in love long ago.
There was just one issue.
“I think I also love Liam, though.”
That couldn’t have been a surprise to Benson, yet his shoulders sagged, and his head slightly shook, anyway. “Of course you do. He’s hard not to love.”
She played with the ring she wore on her left middle finger. “Do you think it could work out between the three of us? Long term?”
“I don’t know. Liam, he’s…” Benson kept shaking his head. He never completed that thought.
Dinner arrived. Desperate to steer their attention elsewhere, Eden cheerfully talked about how she would change Benson’s apartment should she move in with him. Starting with his duvet. So dark and depressing…
He told her she could change whatever she wanted. The important thing was that she was with him.
That simultaneously made her want to go home with him as much as it made her want to run away.
All of that was still on her mind when they returned to his place after dessert in a cozy café, where they cuddled on a couch and fed each other bites of tiramisu instead of getting it at the restaurant. Anything to extend their day together.
Now, what should have effortlessly slid into lovemaking was now them sitting on a different couch in the dark. Eden set her bag to the side and sidled up to Benson, who had removed his jacket and shoes, but was still soft in his shirt.
“There’s something I need to tell you,” she said. “Before you decide how much you really want to be with me.”
Had Eden planned on bringing up La Mariposa’s invitation again? No. But it was imperative now. She needed to know how Benson would reply to something like that.
Sure enough, he was stiff and irate beneath her touch.
“It’s one thing for them to ask you back, angel,” he gruffly said. “Of course they will. You’re fucking fantastic at the role. Ask me how I know.”
It wasn’t a joke, and Eden wasn’t laughing.
“But I hate the idea of you going back there.”
She slowly disentangled herself from him. “I know. Which is why I brought it up now. I… have not turned them down yet.”
He rubbed his forehead with his finger while the rest of his arm threatened to slide off the couch. “It’s a lot of money.”
“Did you know how much Butterflies make before you saw my info at the agency?”
“I had a hunch. It was both much larger and smaller than I expected, if that makes sense.” He looked at her from the corner of his eye.
“But if it was just money you were after, you know I could help you make some other plan. I’ve got connections, and I’m not afraid to use them for someone I love.
So… you must like something else about that job. ”
“Well, yeah…”
“You like being a slut.”
Her cheeks were flaming hot when he said that.
He’s not even accusing me of something. Benson said it so matter-of-factly that Eden almost wanted to cry.
Why, though! He didn’t mean to be rude. He didn’t do anything except the same thing she had done to him a hundred times by now. Cut to the core of who he is.
Not just that… what his kinks were.
“It’s your thing.” Benson’s finger slid off his cheek. “I like cucking, Liam likes sloppy seconds, and you like being the slut in the center of it all.”
“That is seriously a way to put it, Ben.”
“I’m just telling it like I see it.”
She buried her face in her hands. He’s right.
Both of her boyfriends liked sharing for different reasons – and being bisexual probably made it hotter for them – but for Eden, it was about freeing herself from whatever thoughts, whatever insecurities had held her back elsewhere.
For the first time in her life, she truly understood her sexuality.
And how it was not very well accepted by society.
“You still love me?” she timidly asked. “Despite that?”
“What do you mean despite that? You basically just asked me to marry you by confessing you like being a slut, angel.”
Was she supposed to laugh? Because she did. “It’s like we’re all perfect for each other.”
“Yeah. Except that big elephant between him and me.”
“I couldn’t ever ask you to share me long term with your ex-fiancé.”
“It’s a bit strange, having him back in my life.”
“The last time the three of us were together, I thought…” She hesitated. “I thought I saw you two making out. For a little bit.”
“Hm.”
“You’re not denying it?”
“I mean, it’s entirely possible. Toward the end of sex, I can be a bit… out of it. And not remember details like that.”
“Ben.”