Chapter 16
Sixteen
Nina
“ Y ou’re going running…” My mother stares at my cotton shorts and bright purple tank top in disgust. It was a bit of a pain to braid my wig and make sure it was secure, but it worked. “Think of all the sweat, Nina.”
I’m fairly certain Abbott ran it past her since he said he would, but sometimes my mother has selective memory.
“Cassidy and her pack are coming to pick me up,” I say mildly, waiting for her to get it out of her system. She’s been full of plans and plotting, but I have to send the texts to people, which means I get to make decisions.
It feels surreal. My mother can complain or suggest, but she’s set this path for me to be courted.
Funny enough, this group of packs aren’t so old fashioned that they think the same way as she does.
They want me to experience life, and I’ve been speaking with a few of them throughout the week since we all had tea together.
“They’re already on the way?” she asks, sighing.
I have my bottle of water, tennis shoes already on, and let her baby blue eyes gaze at me to answer her own question.
Only the outside of my fractured eye color reflects hers, yet another odd way that biology works.
The doorbell rings, further forcing her to accept that I’m going for a run with a pack as they court me.
It’s a casual thing, and it’ll help me continue to gain my strength.
I did warn Cassidy that I may tire quickly, yet she told me not to worry about it.
She said they’d adjust to me. Another way that she constantly surprises me.
“I suppose they are,” my mother sighs. “Now I know why you’re not wearing any makeup and you look homeless so early in the morning.”
I ignore the comment as she moves away so I can answer the door. I think she realized that hovering over me isn’t going to help me get to know the packs courting me. It’s embarrassing that she’s prancing me around to the best pack, but she says this is the way things are done.
She forced me to endure lunch with her friends earlier this week as if to affirm her words. They talked all about how they were doing this as well with their daughters. There’s no use fighting against this, I know what happens when my mother doesn’t get her way.
I’d rather avoid that at all costs.
“Hi,” I say with a smile as I see Cassidy at the door. “Is there anything else I’ll need other than water?”
“With us? No,” she says, her green eyes moving up my body slowly. Her long hair is up in a sleek ponytail, and she’s dressed similarly to me. Her gaze is appreciative but also appears to be looking for something. “Do you have your phone? You’re going to want that just in case.”
“I swear, I forget it everywhere,” I mutter, biting my lip. My phone is pressed into my hand, and I glance at my mother who rolls her eyes at me. Oops. Guess I left it on a table and she found it. Putting it in my pocket, I zip it up, shrugging as my cheeks heat up .
“Now you’re ready,” Cassidy teases me. “We’ll take good care of her, Miss Vivian. Bye!”
She didn’t even see my mother, but it’s pretty obvious who I got my phone from I suppose.
“I’m sure you will,” my mother says, poking her head around the door. “Have fun.”
Taking this as my cue, I step out the door to stand next to Cassidy, and we begin walking together down the driveway.
“I did drive, but we told our running group to join us outside of the house,” she says as I glance at her pack stretching outside of their vehicle. “This neighborhood has great street parking, and everyone is still asleep so there’s no one to yell at us.”
Smiling, I gaze down the street where people are walking to join us. It’s probably around six people plus her pack, and I force myself not to worry about meeting extra people, though it’s hard. She told me they have a running club that meets at six in the morning three times a week.
My mother is always attending some club, and they enjoy going to breakfast, which is why she’s already awake before the sun.
The sky is still dark as I gaze up at it, and I can feel my body starting to relax. I didn’t realize how tense the atmosphere of the house was until I stepped out of it without my mother lurking around me.
“I was wondering if you’re always strung tightly or if it’s just your mother’s presence,” Cassidy says quietly as we walk to join the group stretching in the street.
Ignoring her words, I focus on what she said before. She’s right, no one will be driving this early. In fact, anyone who has early mornings has already begun them at home. The benefit of being rich and having their own schedules.
Ugh. Maybe if I ignore her observation long enough, it’ll just go away or I’ll find the right words to say. I can’t bring myself to talk about my mom and how complicated our relationship is. It’ll lead to too many things I can’t talk about .
At my glance, she reaches out and squeezes my hand.
Unless someone is hurting me, I don’t get touched very often, and I force myself not to flinch.
It’s something my mother was very insistent on training me out of.
It doesn’t matter that this is her fault, a side effect from my “therapy.” The truth stands that she didn’t want anyone to think that I had been abused.
Flinching is a trained trauma response.
Pushing the memories away, I simply shrug at her. I also won’t speak badly about my mother, because it could get back to her very easily.
“The world feels quiet right now. It’s easier to be relaxed,” I say instead.
“It does,” Cassidy agrees, even though my comment is odd. I need to be careful of how I say things, but I’m just so happy to have a little freedom. “Let’s stretch together. Even if you take it easy, you may feel sore later. Not being able to move kind of defeats the purpose after a run.”
A small laugh escapes my lips, and everyone’s gazes snap toward me. It’s a little like living in a weird fishbowl where everyone is paying too close attention.
“I look forward to you doing more of that,” Cassidy murmurs.
“Ignore them. Alphas are a little intense overall. You’re going to be sweating after this and your scent will be in the air.
Everyone here has really good control so you’ll be safe.
I wouldn’t suggest going for a run with just anyone though. ”
“Oh,” I say, blinking owlishly as I follow her lead and begin stretching.
It’s like I’ve completely forgotten how to survive in the world. Things like keeping my phone charged and with me, or paying attention to my scent would have been things I’d remember, but I feel so out of place now.
I had an entire year of my life stolen from me. It’s hard to remind myself to be gentle with myself as I figure out how to interact with the world again. Being an omega leaves me with complicated feelings even without including how fucked up my life is.
Should I hate this thing that makes me so valuable to my mother and alphas? Am I just going to be a pawn forever?
“Nina,” Cassidy says softly, making me inhale sharply as I glance at her. A tear is clinging for dear life at the corner of my eye, and I hope she won’t notice. I strayed too closely to the darkness of my mind, accidentally hurting my own damn feelings. “Ready to start?”
Clearing my throat, I lean down to pick up my water bottle, discreetly wiping away the tear. “All set,” I breathe, feeling my lungs clench as if to punish me.
My voice teacher taught me that whenever I’m feeling a lot of emotions, it’s easier to hide it if I’m speaking at a lower pitch. Just another way to lie, I suppose.
Cassidy sticks by my side as we start by walking in a group.
People are chatting around me, catching up on what they’ve been doing since they last saw each other.
Everyone around me is a male except for the female alpha walking next to me, shooting me glances here and there.
I can hear the talk about high stakes law cases, charity events, or things that happened when they went to a bar.
It’s all so painfully normal, it almost hurts to be listening to it happen around me.
I once was just like this, going to school and working my ass off, but that’s never going to happen again. My future clearly lies in a different direction. Even with a pack, I doubt I’ll be able to do the normal things others do. My wings will still remain clipped.
Abbott comes up on my other side, smiling in greeting. Since I don’t want to discuss if Cassidy did notice that I was upset because I can’t talk about it, I smile back at him.
Deflecting with style, I suppose.
“We’re going to stretch our legs and walk up to the trail not far from here,” Abbott says. “There’s a gorgeous lake, lots of trees, and we’ll have a chance to catch the sunrise. We all go at our own pace, run or walk as much as we want. It’s why we’re a good group for you to hang out with.”
“Thanks,” I say warmly. “I was a little worried I’d hold you all back. I can run about a mile before I have to slow back down.”
“That’s fine,” he says. “Don’t be surprised if a couple of us drop back to walk with you. We have this thing where we won’t leave people behind. Especially you.”
“Me?” I ask, confused. “Why especially me?”
“We’re running with precious cargo,” Cassidy says, leaning slightly against me.
I have a feeling alphas may be very touchy feely, or maybe it’s just her? I don’t mind it, I just have to get used to being touched at all.
By anyone. Even my mother is careful about how often she touches me, and even that is to test to see if I’m going to flinch if she does.
“Exactly,” Abbott says with a nod. “You’re an unbonded, gorgeous omega. We plan to keep you safe.”
I don’t get many compliments, so I merely nod in response. My cheeks feel warm, and I know it’s not from the weather.