Chapter 18 #2
Staying silent, I watch as she turns to walk away. Seeing my phone, I reach out with a wince and slide it under the covers. I don’t want her to remember I have it. It feels important to me for some reason.
“Oh. One little thing,” my mother says. “Don’t tell anyone about this.
I’ll be checking your phone tomorrow. I know Cassidy likes to text you even after you say goodbye for the night, and that Carter sends you inappropriate memes.
I don’t think they’re funny, but to each their own.
You forget your phone everywhere, making it easy to check your messages. ”
Of course she checks my phone. I’m not surprised. She gives me a little smile and a wave goodnight before glancing at the window.
“That’s going to be annoying, isn’t it? The moon is shining right into your room,” she muses with a shrug. “Sweet dreams, dear.”
My heart is pounding, my ears ring from stress, and I close my eyes to lie enough to myself that I won’t spiral into a heart attack.
She’s gone. I’ll be free or sold off in three months and never have to see her again. Anything has to be better than here.
The last one is definitely a lie, because Weeping Willow is worse. The lectures Emilia would give through the speakers went into great details about the auction blocks bad little omegas would find themselves on.
It definitely can get worse.
Glancing at my bedspread where my phone is hidden underneath, I tell myself to ignore it. I should get ready for bed, not do any texting when I feel like I’m back inside of a nightmare.
The truth is, things felt better for the past month. My mother had just been biding her time to show me the monster that lies underneath her skin.
My fingers tremble as I reach toward my phone, but my mother pops her head back into my room and I thread my fingers together instead.
“You should get ready for bed,” she says.
“Since you’re going to be home all weekend, you should probably get used to the idea of me making your life hell.
It’s been so nice to have you gone on your little dates.
It’s really too bad it’s been all for nothing.
Maybe I’ve kept you too secluded and innocent. ”
My mother walks off and I swallow hard. My entire body is shaking, and I feel as if I’m being starved for air. All of that feels like a threat. My hand slides under the bedspread almost in a fog, and I gaze down at it.
There’s text messages sitting unanswered, and I open the app to stare at it. Everyone is careful about what they say, because as Silas noticed, there’s not a lock on my phone. I didn’t even think to put a code on it, since I’m aware that I don’t have any privacy.
Cassidy is the first person I see that messaged me and my fingers move without thinking.
Me:
911. I need out. Soon. I’m deleting this after you see it.
We both have read receipts on for our messages, so I watch until it says she’s read it and I delete it. Since it was done so quickly, it doesn't even show as a deleted message.
Pushing my phone back under the bedspread, I force myself out of bed. Now that my body is in movement and upright, everything chooses to flair to life. Limping and hunched over I walk to the bathroom, take off my wig and clothes, and take a shower.
I lose consciousness for a moment and wake up on the ground with the water still running over my legs. Groggy, I blink up at it as if cursing it for existing. Fuck, I’m out of it .
I know this is a weird kind of disassociation due to trauma. And yet, I can’t find the will to try to pull out of it.
My eyes glance down at my legs, and I wince. My skin is a mess of raised bumps that are threatening to turn into lots of colored bruises. While my mother’s blows were artless and wild, she still managed to hit me hard.
Taking a deep breath or two, I force myself to get up. The pain threatens my vision, and I lean against the wall for a second.
Since a couple of spots are bleeding, I grab my body wash and run my hands over my body to clean up. Every movement is agony, and I’m very unsteady by the time I turn off the water.
Opening the door, I dry my body as I stumble out of the shower stall, suddenly exhausted.
Wrapping the towel over my body, I grab my wig and walk into the closet. I’m pulling out pajamas when an insistent knocking sound comes from my window.
“What is that?” I whisper, dropping the pajamas and wig to the ground as I turn.
There’s a body on the balcony, and while the light on my bedside table isn’t bright, I feel intense shame as I take a step forward. My fingers touch my bald head and I blink away tears as my steps pull me to the window.
“Carter,” I whisper, seeing his wide eyes on the other side of the window. Glancing over my shoulder, I expect to see my mother, but I can’t relax because he’s seeing beyond the veil of my facade.
Everything about me is fake.
Swallowing hard, I unlock the window and push it outward.
“You can’t be here,” I rasp. “How did you even…”
“Doesn’t matter,” he grunts. “Cassidy is freaking the fuck out. You’ve been gone from your phone for a goddamned hour.”
“I passed out in the shower,” I say, my voice sounding as if it's coming from a long way away. That’s probably why the water also felt really cold .
“Hey,” Carter snaps his fingers at me but my eyes are already starting to roll back. “Stay with me. Is she still home?”
It takes a lot of effort, but I manage to claw my way back and I realize he’s talking about my mother.
“She is,” I wheeze. “You have to go. It’ll be worse if you don’t.”
“Why are you like this?” he asks, his hands wrapping around my upper arms.
Unfortunately, the belt caught me across my bicep at some point, when I stopped paying attention to the blows. My body flinches as I bite back a whimper of pain. His hands lift as if they’re on fire, his face worried and pinched.
“Tell me. Right now. Or I’m carrying you out of here. Your mother just texted us all that you’re in heat, but that’s a lie, right?” he asks.
“Yeah,” I whisper, my body swaying. “She beat me with a belt… doesn’t want you to see me.”
“What does she want?” he asks, looking as if he doesn’t know where to touch me.
My hand rubs my head self-consciously, and he shakes his head.
“You’re gorgeous and I don’t care,” he grunts. “Focus on the present, Nina.”
His eyes dart to the door, realizing there isn’t a door.
“No door. God she’s fucking ruthless.”
“No doors anywhere,” I rasp. “I can’t…focus.”
“I’m coming in,” he grunts, ignoring me as I shake my head. He takes a step inside and closes the window behind him. “One thing at a time. Is there anywhere that doesn’t hurt?”
“No,” I whimper, gasping as I continue to cry pitifully. “I’m sorry. I can’t…”
“You’re not allowed to apologize to me,” he says, “because you didn’t fucking do anything. I’ll hide if she comes in. I need to get you dressed and put to bed. Then, you’re going to text Cassidy because she’s losing her mind. ”
I gaze at him, and he gently turns my body around, barely touching my skin.
“Move,” he says.
My feet shuffle because I’m freezing in the air conditioning of the house. I swear, my mother must have dropped it lower.
“What are you doing?” my mother calls out from down the hallway.
“I just got out of the shower,” I call out, my voice clogged with tears.
Carter freezes, swallowing hard as he stares at the shadow of my mother’s body a long way down the hallway. She must be heading to bed.
“There’s no use drawing things out,” she says. “Punishment is punishment. Suck it up, buttercup.”
The light turns out in the hallway and I hear her door close.
“Fuck,” I whisper. I’m trembling in pain and freezing.
Forcing my feet to move, I shuffle over to my closet. Carter looks through my shelves before grabbing a huge hoodie.
“Arms up, I won’t look if the towel falls,” he says softly.
His gaze drops to my arm where the bruise is getting darker, and his blue eyes go almost gray in anger. Helping me into the fluffy hoodie, he pulls the knot apart on my towel, and guides the clothing down until I’m engulfed in it. He tosses the towel into the hamper, noticing I’m still freezing.
“Do you have sweatpants or joggers?” he asks.
“One pair,” I admit, my chin shifting to the side.
Pinching them, he drops to his knees to help me into the pants. Holding onto the wall, I step into them and sigh as the warmth begins to envelop me. I know he saw the welts all over my legs, but it’s not up to me to hide my mother’s sins. I’m past that now.
His eyes take in the shelves full of frilly clothing, wigs, and makeup as he finds socks and helps me into those as well. The closet has a place for me to apply my makeup, and any girl would be happy to have it .
To me, they represent a gilded cage, and the shackles chafe.
“Bed,” he murmurs, turning out the light and chancing a look into the bedroom.
Finding the coast clear, he motions for me to walk forward. I know he’s scared to touch me, and I don’t blame him. The skin behind my knees even hurts because I tried to ball up in a protective fetus position and that’s where the belt fell over and over.
It hurts to move, but I force myself to push through and make it to the bed. Carter pulls the blankets back to help me in. While I would love to do things like brush my teeth or wash my face, I don’t have the spoons for it.
Wincing as I get comfortable, I watch as Carter fluffs my blankets and pillow.
“I’m becoming a mother hen,” he sighs. “Why did this happen?”
Pressing my lips against each other for a moment, I sigh. “It’s so dumb.”
“If she was willing to beat the fuck out of you, then it isn’t,” he grumbles.
“She’s frustrated that no one has asked to make me theirs,” I rasp. “See? It’s dumb.”
“We thought we’d have more time,” he whispers. “Fuck, we did this.”
“No, she did this,” I mutter, my hand moving under the covers to find my phone. Whimpering in pain, I try to lean over to reach it.
“Little Omega. What the fuck,” he complains.
“Phone,” I grunt, done with today.