Chapter Nineteen
TOMMY
The drive to Torquay, for the most part, was quiet, even with the sat nav and the music playing as background noise. The tension was a tangible presence, though. The coastal town stretches out before us as the sun begins to set. We drive through the winding roads, the sea to our right, until we reach the gated property.
I turn off the ignition and scan the surroundings before leaving the car. I notice the security cameras strategically placed around the house, their lenses glinting off the setting sun.
The sight of the house embodies both grandeur and comfort. Not quite as big as her home, but no less luxurious. The idyllic views offer a touch of paradise to the property. I’d imagine it’s even more stunning in the hotter months.
Opening my door, I meet her at the passenger side.
“I’ll come back for the rest of our luggage,” I say, only grabbing her holdall and vanity case from the back seat before guiding her towards the house.
Unlocking the front door, we both make our way inside. Placing her bags on the floor, I make quick work of deactivating the alarm.
Stepping further inside we’re immediately met with space and light, even with the sun beginning to set. The living room, sitting room and dining room flow seamlessly into each other, creating an inviting and warm atmosphere. The heating must have been set for our arrival, for which I’m grateful. It’s definitely colder here by the sea.
Lily says nothing as we slowly walk into the kitchen, complete with a breakfast area.It’s clear it’s designed for both casual and formal dining, making it the heart of the home. And I can’t help but smile, immediately understanding why Caleb invested in the property, the perfect getaway home for him, Noah and Jessica.
“It’s lovely,” Lily says as she slowly turns back to face me.
“Do you want to go upstairs and pick a room? You can get settled and rest before dinner.” Unsurprisingly, it’s clear the journey here has taken its toll on her, even though I stopped off twice.
I hold my hand out for her to go first, grabbing her bags and following her upstairs. We find six spacious bedrooms, four of which boast en-suite bathrooms. Each room offers a level of comfort and tranquillity, which is just what Lily needs right now. But it’s the balcony off of the largest suite that garners Lily’s attention, allowing breathtaking views of the coastline. I can imagine her watching the sunrise with a book and a cup of tea.
“I think it’s safe to say you’ve found your room.”
She turns to face me. “Oh, no, I don’t?—”
I cut her off. “Lily, take the room. I’ll be right next door, okay?”
Her lips form a small smile. “Thank you.”
I nod my head and begin to back away. “I’m going to move the car to the garage and bring all the bags inside.”
She moves towards me. “I’ll help.”
I shake my head. “I don’t think so. You know what the doctor said about you needing time to heal and rest. Under any other circumstance, we would never have had you travel today. ”
She lowers herself to the edge of the king-size bed.
“I know, I’m sorry,”she whispers, wringing her hands in her lap, eyes cast down.
I move towards her, my fists clenching with the need to reach out and comfort her. Taking a deep breath, I move my hand to her shoulder, and squeeze gently.
“You have nothing to apologise for, Lily. Us, on the other hand, have everything to apologise for.”
Her eyes rise to mine as she lifts her chin, a soft sigh escaping her lips. “Will you ever forgive yourselves?”she asks.
I shake my head. “Doubtful. Avery wasn’t wrong, Lily.”Releasing her shoulder, I sit beside her. “We had one job, andwe failed you one timetoo many.”
She swallows and turns her head to face me. “I don’t know how many times Ihave to reiterate that it’s not yourfault. If anything, I blame myself.”
I hate the self-deprecation in her voice and her very wrong assessment.
“You shouldn’t. You’re the least to blame in this whole fucked up situation.”
“I wish that were true.”She glances away, a flicker of shame crossing her features, one I’m all too familiar with.
“It is true, Lily. I understand more than most about self-blame. But I assure you what you are feeling is a common trauma response. You’ve been through a lot, sunshine. Just give yourself some time and grace, okay?”
When she doesn’t reply, I take a deep breath and move my hand to cup her cheek, encouraging her to face me again. “I know it’s hard, but I’m here if you want to talk. You can lean on me, always.”
“Thank you, Tommy.”
She attempts a smile, drawing my gaze to her mouth before returning to her eyes. Stormy orbs of grey stare back at me, her expression one of melancholy. I wish more than anything I could fix this, take away her pain and sadness.
“Anytime.”I release her cheek. “I’ll go get those bags,”I say, pushing to my feet. “Here.”I pull her burner phone from my hoody pocket and hand it to her. “Why don’t you call Avery and let her know you’ve arrived safely? She’s speed dial two.”
She quirks an eyebrow at that. “I don’t know how she’ll feel about not being number one,”she says, a small trace of humour in her voice.
“Jax insisted on being number one on speed dial.”
“Of course he did,”she replies, with a small roll of her eyes.
“I won’t be long.”
I feel hesitant to leave her. I glance back over my shoulder, the phone already pressed to her ear. Leaving the door open, I make my way back downstairs. Pulling out the other burner phone, I dial Jax.
“Tommy,”he answers on barely the first ring.
“Were you sitting on the phone?”
“Ha fucking ha. Everything all right?”
Opening the front door, I’m instantly hit with cold, crisp air as I pull it closed and lock it behind me. I jog over to the car, the automatic lock opening. I climb behind the wheel, start the engine, and drop the phone into the cupholder as it connects to the Bluetooth.
“Yes, we arrived about ten minutes ago,”I reply, driving slowly towards the garage.
“Yeah, Elliot told me.”
I’m not surprised, the car does have a tracker after all.
“I’m just moving the car to the garage. This place is unreal. I can see why Caleb bought it.”
I think of the size of the property and number of rooms, how it would easily accommodate all of us, and I wish Lily were here under other circumstances.
“Well, he never does anything by half. ”
Pressing the button for the garage doors, I wait for them to open and pull inside before shutting off the engine. It’s not quite as grand or spacious as the one at Lily’s, but it’s a close second.
“True.”
He falls quiet, but I can still hear him breathing. “And is she all right?”
I let out a deep sigh and run my palm over my jaw. “No... she blames herself.”
“Of course she does.”
I can hear the frustration in his voice. Like me, there’s a lot of self-blame going around.
“I need to get the bags inside. I don’t want to leave her alone longer than I have to.”
“Go, look after our girl.”
Our girl.
“And you’ll keep me updated, yeah?”
“Will do.”
I disconnect the call and take a deep breath before climbing out of the car and retrieving our luggage. Avery didn’t fuck about packing Lily’s cases, though I do know that River managed to sneak in a few of her books from the library. I’m hopeful they’ll offer her some comfort, at least.
With my rucksack over my shoulder, I grab her cases and return to the house, locking the door and setting the alarm. The propertyis enclosed, and the securitysystem is second to none. Elliot wouldn’t have allowed us to come here if it wasn’t, and I intend to make the most of it.
When I return upstairs, it’s to the sound of silence. I glance into Lily’s room. She still has the phone clutched into her palm, but she’s lying down, her eyes closed.Leaving her cases just on the inside of the door, I go over and carefully remove the phone from her grasp and leave it on the bedside table.
I take a deep breath and watchher sleep. The lines of worry and pain etched into her face, making it impossible for me to ignore my self-condemnation. I gently cover her with the throw, her fingers twitch slightly, gripping the soft fabric. A soft sigh escapes her lips, and I wonder what she’s dreaming about. Is she in her safe place, or is she also being haunted by the demons that chase me into the shadows?
I stand there staring at her for longer than I probably should before I have to force my feet to move and leave her room. My thoughts are tangled with the weight of my failures. I just hope being here will offer her some comfort and solitude, that I’ll be enough to keep her from the darkness.