Chapter Twenty-Three
Gabe
Colin’s jab came at me straight on. I slipped it just in time, ducking to the outside and landing my own punch to his headgear. Not hard enough to do damage—we weren’t going full force—but leaning into the movement and getting my timing right still invigorated me.
“Good,” Colin said when the timer went off, signaling the end of that round. The word came out slightly muffled through his mouth guard. “That defensive work is solid, man. Don’t stay too long on that back foot. Keep up the pressure, yeah?”
I nodded, grabbing my water through the ropes and taking a sip.
We were both dripping sweat even though it was cool enough to need the space heater today.
We’d been sparring for a couple of hours, this round all about drilling defense, and I was grateful for the huge amount of cardio I’d done the past two months.
Colin was a fucking awesome sparring partner.
Barely an inch shorter than me and nearly my weight, he’d been training at a boxing gym his whole adult life and was exactly the kind of body I needed to work with in the ring.
We’d practiced together one other time in the week and a half since Aubrey’s birthday, and I could feel my skills sharpening already.
They were almost back to what they’d been before I retired. Maybe not quite as fast, but just as smooth and every bit as strategic. With one week until the tournament, I was right where I wanted to be. Strong and getting stronger. Ready for more.
Ready to actually win this thing.
“I can’t believe you were never pro,” I said as we caught our breaths another minute.
“You could have been if you wanted to.” Probably still could.
His moves weren’t the most creative, but his technique was solid, and he was in absurd shape for someone who did this on the side of running his own art gallery.
He grinned, white teeth flashing against his rich brown skin. “I thought about it for a minute in uni. There was just no getting around that boxing was a passion, but art was the passion, you know what I mean?”
I smiled in response, his British accent putting me back in the gym in London. If I closed my eyes, I could almost be there, standing under the fluorescent lights, listening to Coach Peter’s feedback, getting ready to watch the next pair of fighters spar in the ring.
I knew exactly the passion he was talking about.
“You never wished you were the one making the art?”
He shrugged. “Still getting it out in the world, aren’t I? Just at a different part of the process.”
I probably wouldn’t have agreed before my shoulder injury. Wouldn’t have imagined anything could bring the same fulfillment as being in that ring, landing and slipping punches myself. And maybe coaching wasn’t the same, but as Colin said—it was still a part of the process.
My phone lit up on the side of the mat, and I spotted Aubrey’s name. “I’m going to take this quick,” I told Colin as I slipped off one glove.
“Go for it.”
I took out my mouth guard on the way to the office and answered as I stepped inside. “Hey,” I said, nearly out of breath. My heart pounded as if I’d been running.
“Hey,” she greeted, her voice shining like the sun off her golden hair. “I’m heading over in a little bit. I just need to stop by the restaurant to talk to Jillian quick.”
“Cool. Colin and I are almost done too.”
I couldn’t tell if the eagerness in my voice was all in my head or if she heard it too. If my physical desire to see her had seeped its way into my psyche. Or maybe it was the other way around—that my head couldn’t get enough, and it was sending my body into overdrive.
All I knew was I wanted her here, and I’d been counting the minutes all day.
Not even for sex, just…for her smile. Her laughter.
Her ability to make me laugh too. Real, genuine laughter and not the memory of it my body had tried to replicate since my mom died.
The one that felt forced even when I found something funny, as if someone held a lid over my joy, preventing it from coming all the way to the surface.
Aubrey tore off that lid. She let me breathe again.
And ever since she thanked me on her birthday for giving her the bare fucking minimum she deserved as a celebration, I’d been dying to bring her all that joy and more. Still with her calling the shots, like letting her choose to come here instead of going to her apartment.
It was better this way—easier to maintain boundaries here. Not to fall into the routine of two people who kissed each other good night, who slept in the same bed, who made love.
There was no bed for us to make love in here. No kitchen for her to cook us dinner in. No couch for us to sit on while I massaged her feet after she worked a long event. No way for me to get hooked on the familiarity of being in her life day in and day out, one small moment at a time.
“Colin still working out?” she asked, snapping me back from my impossible daydream. My fingers rubbed my chest as if working out a knot. I rolled them into a fist.
“He’s awesome,” I said. “I owe you for telling Jase I needed a sparring partner.”
“I didn’t tell him.”
Wait. “You didn’t?”
“No. I assumed you mentioned it to him when you were setting up for my party.”
“No, I…” I shook my head. “Weird.”
“I’ll ask him today if I see him. I just got to Ardena.”
“Sounds good. Good luck with Jillian.”
She blew out a breath. “Thanks.”
Back in the gym, Colin stretched in the ring.
“Question for you,” I said as I climbed through the ropes. “Did Jase say anything about who told him I was looking for a sparring partner?” The only person besides Aubrey and Noah I’d mentioned it to was my dad, and I didn’t see him bringing it to Jase.
“Your brother mentioned it when he picked up his ticket.”
My brain skidded to a halt as all the blood in my body tried to rush to my head. Any second, I’d wake up face down on the mat. “My brother?”
“Evan, right? Pretty blond fellow who flirts with every person he meets?”
That was definitely Evan. “What ticket?”
Colin looked at me like I should get my head checked for a concussion. “To the boxing tournament. He asked Jase to grab him one. I figured you were seeing Jase first or something, and it was easier to pass it on through him.”
My legs went shaky, ready to give out. I considered sitting down, but I was pretty sure if I tried, my knees would buckle, and I’d end up sprawled on my ass. Emotionally, I was already there.
I’d assumed the extra tickets Jase bought were for his brother’s friends. I never thought…
My heart pounded as too many emotions filled my chest. Evan was going to my fight. He’d found me a training partner. He…wanted me to win?
Did that mean he wanted me to stay?
I wanted him to want me to stay. I wanted him to want me as his big brother again. To be proud of me again. To think I was worth believing in again.
I wanted to call him right now and tell him how much I loved him and how much it meant that he’d be watching me from the stands.
Something told me if I did that, he wouldn’t show. He was like a wary puppy on the side of the road, and if I approached too fast, he’d run off. I had to let him come to me at his own pace. Let him see I wasn’t here to hurt him. No matter how badly I’d fucked up in the past.
I faced Colin with a stronger resolve than ever. “One more round?”
His mouth curved up. “Let’s go.”