Chapter Twenty-Four
Aubrey
I straightened my shoulders and stared at the wood grain of Ardena’s office door, running through what I wanted to say once more before finally knocking.
“Come in,” called Jillian’s stern voice, as polished and certain as she was.
Another quick breath, and I turned the handle.
Her back was to me as she adjusted one of the heavy curtains lining the wall of glass doors that led to the office’s small balcony. She seemed to struggle with their height but coaxed them along rather than lose her patience.
“What can I do for you, Aubrey?” she asked without turning. The curtain ring gave way and settled where she wanted it.
“How did you know it was me?”
She waved a hand as she lowered into her plush desk chair. “Fifty-fifty chance. Only you or Jase ever seek me out. The young men are still too intimidated to risk it.” Her mouth lifted as if pleased by the idea.
It was true the best way to quiet Zach or Luis was to tell them Jillian was heading for the kitchen. The same was probably true for the new prep cook, Tyrell.
I’d finally had the chance to meet him on my birthday and could see why he fit so well with the crew. He didn’t have an ego and was willing to work hard. He’d even signed my birthday card.
“My friend at Corvidea said the retirement party was a success,” Jillian said, returning her focus to me. “He had wonderful things to say about the food. I’d say you’ve found your stride. You win this competition, and your name will be on the way to the top—”
“Jillian, I can’t do this.”
Her mouth snapped shut as alarm etched over her features. It seemed to deepen with each second of silence that stretched between us.
I replayed my words in my head and realized why. “I’m not quitting,” I hurried to clarify.
Her shoulders lowered an inch.
“But you keep saying all these things about how great I’m doing and how successful I’m going to be, and that couldn’t feel further from the truth.”
She pursed her lips but didn’t interject.
I swallowed against my dry mouth. “I’m struggling.”
Admitting it felt like prying a knife between my ribs and popping them open like a clamshell, revealing the seeping mess I’d been trying to hold together these past months.
I hated for her, of all people, to see it. The last remaining woman in my life who I looked up to, whose strength I strived to carry. I never wanted her to see where I was weak. To be a burden she had to carry, especially when it came to her business. But it was true.
“I’m struggling to keep up with events on my own,” I said.
“I need a team, and I’m struggling to find one.
I feel like I’ve searched everywhere, and without another pair of hands, I know I can’t sustain this.
And I’ve been splitting my time looking for a chef and trying to come up with a menu for the competition, but it’s like without one, I can’t do the other.
I’m so sorry, Jillian. I don’t want to let you down, but I need your help. ”
By the time I finished, my hands were trembling and a bitter taste lined my tongue. Somehow saying all that was more difficult than the craziest dinner service I’d ever worked. It had easily been five times scarier.
But Jillian simply smiled. “About damn time.”
It was my turn to be confused. “What?”
“I was nineteen when I started my first business,” she said as she wiped nonexistent wrinkles from the lap of her skirt. “You know what happened?”
“You sold it?” I guessed. Wasn’t that what super-successful entrepreneurs did?
“It failed miserably. I tried to do everything on my own, refused to ask for help, and insisted the only way I could prove myself was if no one else was involved. But running a business isn’t about doing everything on your own.
It’s about getting the right people to help you do what needs to get done.
” She stood and placed her hands on my shoulders.
“Asking for help isn’t a sign you’ve failed.
It just means you’ve recognized your limits.
It’s what successful people do,” she said, shaking me slightly.
“I’ve asked a hell of a lot from you. I never expected you to do it alone. ”
“But you shouldn’t be the one who has to do it,” I argued.
She spun to her desk to find a pen. “Why not? It’s my business. Where’s the fun if I can’t get my hands a little dirty?” She glanced at me from her notepad. “Figuratively, of course. I don’t cook.”
I cracked a smile.
“I’ll make a few calls, see if we can’t find a couple of promising chefs for you to interview.”
Already, my chest felt lighter. I didn’t even dread the idea of a few more interviews. Not if they came from Jillian.
“About the competition,” she added, her face softening. “Just have fun with it. I already know what you can do. You don’t need to prove it to me. Winning would merely be a bonus.”
“Really?” I asked, skeptical.
She looked almost bashful. “I know you were probably annoyed I entered you, the same way Jase was annoyed I volunteered the restaurant to cater the symposium last year.” She composed her face and raised her chin. “I like showing the two of you off. You’ll get no apologies for it.”
Well, when she put it like that.
“I’ll try to let go of some of the pressure,” I said.
“And you’ll let me know if there’s anything else I can help with.” It wasn’t a question.
“I will,” I promised.
She nodded. “Good.”
On the way out through the dining room, I popped my head into the kitchen. “Hey, Chef?”
Jase swung his gaze from the tickets to me.
“Think we could meet up next week to workshop some menu ideas for the catering competition? I’m stuck.”
He grinned. “I’d love to, Chef.”
I let out a breath as another weight lifted from my shoulders.
“You grabbing some food?” he asked.
I considered it. For once, the idea of being here as just another customer didn’t fold my stomach into a lump of overworked dough.
But I had other plans tonight. Ones with Gabe, who I’d barely seen since my birthday, thanks to the three events I’d squeezed in the past week and a half. And with the boxing tournament next week, all Gabe’s focus after tonight would be on it.
“Next time,” I said to Jase, meaning it.
Maybe Gabe would want to come with me. Like after the boxing tournament, when maybe he’d be here for good.
It was a dangerous thought. One I had no business hanging on to.
I let myself have it anyway, just for a moment.