Chapter 43
PACE – LATE NOVEMBER
Da-da
The weather is glorious – sun beaming, sky blue. Drinks are flowing around the table.
Country music plays in the background but not so loud that Bear’s occasional attention-seeking barks and I-want-meat gruffs can’t be heard.
Annie has told me off more than once for feeding my furry friend under the table.
More incredible than any of that, Nelson called me Da-da.
I swear it opened up parts of me that I never knew existed.
In a split second, I saw it all, a house on the ranch, Annie, Nelson, me and maybe another sprog or two.
Chickens shitting everywhere, a small holding of longhorns mooing and horses for my girl to ride on the land.
I want it. I want it more than I’ve wanted anything before in my life. I could trade every shiny ring and silverware for these guys.
And I guess it’s obvious to more than just me and my sister now because I’m helping Sas carry dirty plates from the table set up on the lawn into the kitchen when she asks, “Can we talk for a second, Pace?”
“Always,” I tell her, turning to lean against the countertop. She mirrors me.
“I’m not going to ask you how you feel about Annie because I don’t want the answer to put me in a position.”
Every muscle in my body stiffens.
“But I’m going to say this. You’re one of Colton’s best friends and he respects you, in the same way I know you respect him. The Quinns have been through a lot in the past year and Colton’s doing well now.”
“He’s good people, they all are.”
“So if there’s more to you and Annie than friendship, promise me you’ll do the right thing by him? Don’t go behind his back with this, okay? He deserves better than that.”
Fuck. Do I tell her that I’m in love with Quinn’s sister? Do I tell her I’ve drawn a line around sex with Annie but that I want it? Or do I simply… “Promise.”
“Thank you. And for what it’s worth, if you really care about her, Colton might have reservations but I don’t think he’d hate the idea of you two. Not after everything you’ve done for Annie.”
I swallow hard. “He put the last guy in the ER.”
She chuckles. “You’re not Auston.”
“Damn straight.”
Speak of the actual devil…
I doubt any of us, even Annie, had faith that Auston would show today but there’s an unmistakable roar of a sports car churning gravel on the driveway to the house.
Sas and I glance out the window, where the postures of Sonny, Colton, Darcy, even Betty, confirm we all know who it is.
Last time I was in the same place as Auston, I was squaring up to him on the sidelines. And my instinct as I step onto the porch and see him getting out of his fancy fucking car, dressed to the nines, hair styled, big fucking birthday gift in his arms, is to fight, again.
I hate this guy. For everything he’s done and keeps doing to Annie and Nelson, I loathe him.
But I can admit that the way my entire torso feels like it’s being wrung out isn’t only because I despise him, it’s because I’m jealous that Nelson is his and terrified that he might somehow worm his way back to Annie.
I’m not okay, I think as I watch Annie jump up from a lounger by the pool, rushing to find something to cover over her swimwear.
She’s away from the house but keeps looking Auston’s way, flapping, hurrying. No one else on this porch is going to come to her aide because no one wants Auston to be here. But I love Annie, I’m in love with Annie, and if that means I’ve got to get along with Auston…
“For fuck’s sake,” I mutter. Grabbing two beers from the cool box on the lawn and lugging with me the moral high ground, I make my way toward the man I despise.
He stops before I reach him at the edge of the picket fence.
“Pace,” he says.
“Rogers.” I hold up the beers. “Brought you a beer.”
He considers the bottle like I might have poisoned it – damn, that would have been a good shout.
“Looks pretty hostile over there,” he says, taking the bottle between his fingers as he holds on to his gift with two hands.
“Can you blame them?”
He clacks his tongue. “Guess not.”
“They’re over by the pool.”
He nods. “You going to escort me?”
“To the slaughter? Gladly. Come on.”
Annie meets us midway down the lawn, with Nelson on her hip, and the way she beams at Auston like he’s wearing a fucking halo for turning up kills me.
“Hey,” he says, all casual like he didn’t rip her heart out and abandon his kid, after telling Annie to get rid of him. Like he didn’t shatter her confidence and self-esteem into tiny pieces.
“Hi. Thanks for coming.” She twists Nelson’s chin so he stops looking at me and looks to Auston. “Look who it is, Nelson.”
Nelson looks distinctly like he couldn’t give a crap about anything other than the shiny parcel, and it delights me.
I have the most vivid and thankfully short-lived flashback to watching my stepdad walk away from our home for the last time. Never looking back.
Then I snap out of it, clearing my throat.
It’s not my place to get between this kid and his dad.
“I’ll leave you guys to it,” I tell them.
I look back across my shoulder as I go and find Annie watching me.
Looking at me in a way that cuts. She’s apologizing and she shouldn’t be. This isn’t on her. None of it.
“I know that can’t have been easy. You did good, Tanner,” Darcy tells me, hand on my shoulder where we stand in front of the porch, watching as Annie sets Nelson on the lawn and Auston crouches down to place the gift on the ground in front of him.
Nelson uses it to pull himself up, delighting in the shimmering wrapping paper and big bow on top of it.
“Like you said, if it’s meant to be, she’ll figure it out.” But I’m not convinced I believe in wishes anymore because the one I made when I helped Nelson blow out the candles on his cake did not involve Auston showing up. “I won’t be the man who stands in the way of a family.”
“Hunny, there’s no way this whole thing ends with them being a family. You did the right thing in giving him a chance to be a father to that sweet boy but I’m pretty sure all you did was hand him a rope to hang himself with.”
She knocks her temple against my shoulder. “Listen, I’m going to distract Colton for a while. If I can take one set of daggers out of Auston’s back, the party atmosphere might not be completely obliterated.”
We look behind us at Sonny, Colton and Sas, stern-faced, arms folded.
Darcy does convince Colton to show her the horses in the barn and the corral. Sas takes up position on a lounger by the pool, chatting with Betty, and Sonny… Well, Sonny gets back to his rocking chair and bottle of beer, doing nothing to hide that he loathes Auston Rogers.
Rogers hurt Sonny’s daughter. He’s messed with Sonny’s grandson.
He was welcomed into this beautiful home, then he shit all over their kindness.
While I want to give Annie the freedom to figure this out on her own, I respect Sonny’s hard stance.
Darcy might be proud of the way I took the objective high ground.
But me? I’m proud of the man who takes no prisoners when it comes to protecting his daughter.
I head onto the porch and take up the other rocking chair.
“You’re a better man than me, son,” Sonny tells me. “Can I convince you to have a beer now?”
I laugh shortly, raising the non-alcoholic bottle I’m still holding. “If I weren’t driving you could probably convince me to have something stiffer, sir.”
We watch as Annie unboxes a ride-on car for Nelson, but Nelson is more concerned about the torn-up paper it came out of.
“What an idiot,” I mumble, realizing I’ve said it louder than intended when Sonny says, “Couldn’t have said it better myself.”
I’m not talking about the expensive gift that Nelson will probably never play with. I’m talking about everything Auston has given up. He could have had it all. Annie, Nelson, a family to be fucking proud of.