Chapter 3
Enough!
Justin
My hand hurt like a bitch, but that wasn’t the worst thing. Seeing the disappointment on my teammates’ faces—Cooper’s especially? Much worse.
Last season, we’d made it to game six of the Stanley Cup Finals.
I’d tripped and landed in our own net, so our goalie Petey and I were both off the ice for the overtime goal that cost us everything.
Now, with this self-indulgent attack on Alek, I’d taken myself out of the playoffs again.
I was lucky I hadn’t injured Alek as well.
“Sorry.” I couldn’t say much more, not with the medical staff around and at least one reporter I spotted in the hallway before security pushed him away.
The X-rays showed I’d broken three bones in my hand. I needed a cast, and it would be weeks before I could start rehab on the hand. If the team made it to the finals, I might be out of the cast, but I wouldn’t be ready to play.
I’d really fucked up.
I promised Cooper I’d talk to him after I got back from the funeral, so once the cast was on and I’d been given directions for dealing with it for the next few days, I left to prepare for the trip west.
The condo was empty. Jess had flown out this morning on the flight I’d booked. I should let her know what had happened, and that I’d be following. But hitting Alek—or more accurately, his helmet—hadn’t tempered my anger. I didn’t trust what I might say to her, so I said nothing.
I opened the closet door to grab my bag.
It was missing, along with my black suit, dress shoes, a shirt and tie.
Jess. Guilt stabbed me, but it wasn’t enough to make me call her.
I grabbed my carry-on, shoved in pajamas, my travel toiletry kit and underwear.
Since I traveled so often, everything was ready to go, which was a relief because using my left hand was frustrating.
I held on to my anger, because once that waned, grief was waiting. And I didn’t have the bandwidth to handle everything without falling apart.
I watched Seattle lose in the arena crosstown, then avoided everyone until the visiting team was getting on the bus to the airport.
I knew a couple of the guys, but not that well.
We’d played on national teams together, but I’d only played for New York and the Blaze, and none of these guys had.
They were dying to ask about why I hit Alek, but respected that I’d lost a family member and left my broody self to listen to a thriller while we flew to the West Coast. I didn’t remember anything from the talking book, but it quieted my thoughts.
I thanked the team for the ride and caught a lift to the commercial section of the airport to book the next flight to Vancouver.
I had to wait till morning, so I spent the night in a hotel room, not sleeping, trying to shut my brain down while my hand throbbed.
I stubbornly held back from messaging or calling Jess, but I’d cave soon.
Jess had kept me informed. She was meeting Mom and Dad today at Grandma’s house to show them the will.
I had to be there, or I’d never forgive myself.
My flight was delayed, twice, and I was desperate by the time we landed.
The car rental upsold me, but I didn’t care what I drove as long as it wasn’t a stick shift.
Driving with my left hand was awkward, but I had to get to Grandma’s before the family shitstorm blew up.
Thanks to knowing the area and taking shortcuts, I managed to pull into the drive behind Jess just as she was about to get out of her car. Even pissed, it was so good to see her. The glare she shot at my hand made it obvious she knew what had happened with Alek, and she was pissed at me too.
Mom and Dad’s car was already in the drive, beside Jess’s rental. As I shut the car door, Mom and Dad stepped out on the porch.
“Jess, Justin, we put the heat on and brought coffee and pastries.”
Jess said thanks. I kept my sunglasses on and followed her through the door.
I froze while the silence and emptiness drove home that Grandma was gone.
I’d paid to have people come in and keep up the place, as if she might somehow come back, but I hadn’t returned to this building since she’d been admitted to Parkview.
Memories hit me hard. Grandma, Mia… I shoved those recollections away and took a long breath. It wasn’t the time to break down.
“We were looking around,” Mom said. “There’s a lot to be done before we list it. The kitchen and bathroom need upgrades, and the furniture is all dated. I know someone who does estate auctions and they can deal with what’s here so we can stage it for showings.”
No mention of Grandma being gone, just what could be done with her house. I ground my teeth.
Jess spoke. “That depends on if it’s sold. Let’s sit down and look at the will.”
Dad shot Jess a glance. Mom huffed. “She only had one child. I’m not sure why she made you the executor but we’re all family. Are you telling me she left this to be a cat shelter or halfway house?”
Jess didn’t answer, so the four of us sat around the kitchen table. Mom took the chair at the head of the table, Dad across from Jess, and me at the foot. Old memories tried to escape, and I kept my gaze on the tabletop, refusing to give in. Jess was going to need my support. She would get it.
“How did you get in a fight with the Denbrowski boy?”
I’d been expecting the question, but from Mom, not Dad. I shrugged, because it was up to Jess if she was going to tell them about Alek.
Jess pulled out a pile of papers from her briefcase. “I printed out copies.” She slid one to Mom and one to Dad. Then she folded her hands and waited. I braced myself.
“What the hell?” my mother asked. “We get her car and life insurance and you two split the rest?”
“When was this will written? I had no idea she’d made a new one,” Dad said.
“Three years ago.”
Mom waved a hand. “She wasn’t in her right mind.”
Jess raised her chin. “She’d been told she had early signs of dementia, but she was still legally of sound mind. She wanted to do this before she lost her faculties.”
“You talked her into this.” Typical Mom, on the offensive.
“No, I tried to change her mind. I didn’t want the conflict.”
Jess had agreed to it, leaving me out of the line of scrimmage. Just like with the phone call that started this, I regretted not supporting my sister more. Sure, she was involved with Alek somehow, but given my response, it was obvious why she hadn’t said anything.
My fault.
“I’m supposed to believe you and your brother get everything and you still tried to change her mind? You have blamed me ever since we lost our money. You twist everything, turned your brother against us, and now even your father’s mother.”
Jess was patient, but my left hand was in a fist under the table.
“The last page is the explanation she provided,” Jess said.
Mom flicked the papers with a finger. “She wants you two to make it a home again. Like that’s going to happen. Justin is tied to whatever team he plays for, and you’re his camp follower. What are the odds you’ll be back in BC?”
“Things can change.” Jess’s voice was quiet, resigned. Damn it, she was taking all of it. “Grandma knew you would want to sell everything. And not only did she want us to keep some things, she didn’t trust you’d use the money wisely.”
Mom exploded. She complained that Grandma had blamed her when they’d lost their money and needed her help, and that Jess had taken advantage so she’d get everything. It was ugly and cruel, and Jess just sat there.
“Enough!” I was as shocked as everyone else when the word escaped my mouth like a shot.
“Jessica has never schemed. All she’s done is protect me.
And I’ve let her. But that’s enough. If you can’t speak civilly, just go.
And don’t count on any more money from me.
It’s time this whole fucking family got over what happened.
We lost our money. But you still have a home and you still have food.
That’s more than many people have. So let it go. ”
Mom didn’t speak. Dad tried to smooth things over. “We’ve just been trying to get back what we had.”
“It’s gone.” I couldn’t believe they still didn’t get it. “It’s gone and it’s never coming back. It’s time we all accepted that and moved on.” I couldn’t stay still and pushed to my feet. “You should go. You know what you’re getting after probate. There’s nothing more for you here.”
For long moments, everyone stared at me. Then Mom stood and Dad followed her. They left without saying another word.
“Thank you.” Jess sounded so surprised, and that hurt.
I dropped back down on my chair. “It was long overdue.”
“Are you okay?”
I almost said yes. Growing up, telling Mom and Dad something was wrong just got us sent away.
But I wasn’t okay, and it was time to deal with it.
I’d hurt Jess, I’d hurt my team—I couldn’t do that to my people.
I took a long breath and finally admitted, “No. No, I’m not.
” I held up the cast, which she’d already seen. “I fought Alek at morning skate.”
“I know. And I’m sorry—”
“No! What I did yesterday was not your fault.”
“But I went behind your back.”
Damn it, I couldn’t let her take on this as well. “If you want to see someone, it shouldn’t have to be a secret just to protect me. If you couldn’t tell me, that’s on me.”
“But he’s—”
“A teammate. And someone whose family cheated ours. But Alek didn’t do it. And my freaking out about his name? Is a me problem.”
“Mom and Dad—”
“That’s a Mom and Dad problem. They have to let go of what they lost and deal with what they have now. We all do.”
She drooped in her chair. “It’s easier said than done.”
I had to clear the lump in my throat. “I know, if anyone does. I’ve been wallowing in my own misery for years. I have to stop.”
“What happened to you was bad. I don’t blame you for being changed by that.”
“But like I just told Mom and Dad, it’s been more than ten years. It’s time to move on.”
“Just like that?”