Chapter 3 #2
I almost snorted and shook my head. “No, it’s going to be hard. I probably should go talk to someone, a therapist or something. But I have to do that. That’s not on you.”
Jess’s smile wavered. “I’m so glad to hear you say that. Yesterday I was thinking that maybe I wasn’t good for you.”
Oh hell no. Jess was the best thing in my life.
“You’re always good for me. And I appreciate that you gave up so much to support me.
But now it’s time for me to deal with this.
I don’t know exactly what I need to do, but it’s time.
I love you, Jess, always will. You should think about what’s best for you, independent of me, and I’ll do the same.
We can talk when we’re back in Toronto. Grandma is the priority now, but I wanted to give you a heads-up. ”
“Would you believe me if I told you I’ve been thinking along those same lines?”
I loved her. But since I wasn’t good at words, I pulled her into a hug. “I would.”
“I just can’t believe you got in a fight.”
“I was so angry.” I looked at the cast. Jess opened her mouth to say something, probably to try to defend me, but now we needed to be honest. “Let me finish. I felt betrayed, and angry. So when Alek offered his condolences, I dropped my gloves.” I snorted.
“Some fight. I hit him and broke my hand. I knocked him off-balance and he hit the ice, but he wasn’t hurt. He’s okay, Jess.”
Jess squeezed my hand. She couldn’t not try to help me.
“Everyone was in shock. Because I don’t do that. I don’t get mad, I don’t shout, I don’t do anything. And why did I suddenly crack? Because I thought I’d lost you.”
“No, Justin, never.”
“How selfish is that? I was angry that my sister might actually have a life of her own. I’m not any better than Mom and Dad, and that isn’t fair.
I want the best for you, Jess. I want you to be happy.
And for that to happen I have to be happy too, right?
” Her eyes were watering, and I had to blink fast as well.
“And your happiness will help mine. I’ve been selfish.
I’ve hurt the team’s chances for the playoffs and I’ve hurt you. I’m ready to do something about it.”
“I’ve been worried.”
I couldn’t pull off a reassuring smile. “It’s time to worry about yourself. I need to apologize to Alek and the team, but you came first. Grandma would have been very disappointed in me.”
Jess broke down in tears, so I wrapped my arms around her so that for once she could let go and I could support her. And yeah, I was a little teary too.
“She’d be happy to see us together like this.”
“She’d tell us to stop crying over her and get on with our lives.”
I almost laughed because that was so true. “Yeah, she would. Is everything taken care of? What can I do?”
Jess nodded. “Grandma planned everything before she got too bad. The church, the hall, the food, what she wanted for the service. I met with the funeral home yesterday, and I just have to drop a few things off. Then we show up tomorrow. I brought your clothes.”
“Thank you. After the service, you’ve got all the work of handling her will.”
Jess shrugged. “She asked me to.”
Feeling restless, I stood up and leaned on the counter. “We need to go through this place, right? Figure out what to keep and what should go? But we’re not selling. The house, and all the family stuff.”
“As long as we can.”
I looked around the kitchen. It was missing the warmth, the spark that Grandma provided, but it still felt like comfort. Safety. Love. It was a family home, holidays and birthdays and life soaked into the walls.
“I could see living here again.” Like before, the words escaped without any planning. Like something inside me was operating out of my control.
“Really?”
“Yeah. You?”
“I don’t know.”
“Think Alek would like it?”
“I don’t know.”
“Maybe you should ask him.”
Jess bit her lip. “I don’t think he wants anything to do with me now.”
Was that because of me? “What happened after I stormed out? What did Alek say?”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing?”
“I left before he could say anything. It wasn’t like that, Justin. We weren’t dating, we were just hooking up. And now…” Jess shrugged, but I could see the sadness in her eyes.
I would do almost anything to change that. Maybe even make nice with Alek Denbrowski. “Was that all you wanted with him?”
“That’s what we said.” Jess shot me a glance. “It was… I don’t know how to describe it. I mean, the first night, I didn’t even know who he was.”
I raised my brows.
She shrugged. “It was the night the trade was announced. We thought he still had to come out from California. And he’d lost a bet, so he’d shaved off his hair and beard.”
I slumped. “That was the night I walked out of the bar.”
“Yeah. I tried to follow you but couldn’t find you, and I ended up in a bar. And it had been a bad day and a hot guy was interested, so…”
“You’ve been seeing him for two months.” I’d had no idea. Was I that self-absorbed?
She closed her eyes. “It was never supposed to happen after that first time.”
I knew my sister. She had a sex life—one time the douchebag she brought home hit me up for a selfie in the kitchen the next morning—but for it to happen again, especially with Alek? “And it was ‘just sex’?” I asked skeptically.
“Well, it wasn’t like we could go out without everyone finding out. We stayed in private and hooked up.”
“You didn’t talk?” I raised my brows. “Cuddle?”
She wouldn’t look at me. “Yeah, we talked. That doesn’t mean anything.”
“Nice try, sister. I know you. You’ve been happier these past couple of months. I thought it was because you’d made friends, with Katie and Callie and Jayna. But it’s more.” And not Fitch, unfortunately.
“It can’t be,” she whispered.
I heard in her voice how much she wanted it, how much she wanted him.
I sat down beside her and laid my good hand on hers.
“Maybe it can. You’ve put your life on hold for long enough.
” I didn’t let her interrupt. “You never tried that hard, Jess. If I was choosing, Alek’s not the guy I’d pick for you.
But if he makes you happy? Maybe he is the right one. ”
“A teammate? A Denbrowski?”
“That’s up to you, not anyone else.”
She glared at me. “You’re a lot chattier than I’m used to.” But the sadness was leaving her face.
“I’ve been saving up.”
“So, punching Alek woke you up?”
I shook my head. “Not just that. When I realized you’d put your life on hold for me. Knowing you had to hide that you like someone. I felt smug…and then like an asshole.”
“I’m glad you’re ready to make changes, Jus. Really glad.”
“And you’re going to as well. We’ll honor Grandma while we’re here.
Acknowledge all she was for us. Then, you talk to Alek when we get to Toronto again.
I’m out for the season, so I can come back here and work on the house.
I’ll check with you before I take big steps, but I might as well be useful while I can’t play. ”