Chapter Twenty-Two
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
CLAIR E
The four of us make our way onto the small jet, and my heart is already about to beat out of my chest. I haven’t traveled more than a few hours at a time in a car, let alone on a plane, and I could hardly sleep last night with my anxiety about this whole endeavor.
How in the world do these things even fly? It still makes no sense to me, even though Mark kindly explained the mechanisms yesterday when I voiced my concern about flying.
Thousands of people do it every day , he had told me. If I was worried it was unsafe, even for a second, I would never let you step foot onto the plane.
Somehow, that last statement had made me feel better than any of the technical explanations or statistics about plane safety.
But now, standing at the base of the steps leading into the jet, that comfort feels distant. My stomach churns, and my knees are weak as I follow Dani up the small set of steps. Mark’s large hand presses gently on the small of my back, not to push me along but to remind me of his presence.
"You’ve got this," he murmurs, his voice reassuring.
I glance over my shoulder at him and give him a weak smile. It’s all I can manage.
The interior of the jet is sleek and surprisingly spacious, but I barely register the luxurious leather seats or the calm, pleasant demeanor of the flight attendant. All I can focus on is the sudden awareness of being in a metal tube that’s supposed to defy gravity.
Dani plops down on the couch stretching alongside the long end of the plane, chatting with Shane about something I can’t quite catch over the roaring in my ears. She’s practically bouncing with excitement while I’m over here wondering if I’ll make it through takeoff without throwing up. I take a seat and buckle my seatbelt, attempting to breathe evenly. We haven’t even moved yet and I’m already starting to freak out.
A small moment of reprieve comes to me as I watch Mark’s massive figure while he attempts to maneuver through the plane without hitting his head or running into anything. It must be annoying to be so large in such a small space.
Mark slides into the seats facing my own, his bulk taking up most of the double seat. Apparently deciding to bear witness to my impending freakout, he leans back, looking entirely too at ease, as if this were just another car ride.
But instead of feeling cramped or claustrophobic, I’m comforted by his presence. For now, anyway.
The flight attendant gives us a quick safety rundown, but I barely register her words, and I’m left with the distinct impression that I’m missing something important. My palms are clammy, and I can’t seem to catch my breath .
As the engines start to hum, a low vibration courses through the plane, and my panic spikes. The knot in my chest tightens. Every instinct screams at me to get off the plane, but it’s too late now. The door is closed, the engines are roaring louder, and I’m trapped.
I’m vaguely aware of Mark’s eyes on me, but I continue staring down at my feet and attempting to stop the spiral of dread.
The plane moves, and my body tenses, every muscle locking up as if that will somehow protect me.
"Hey," Mark says gently, his voice cutting through the haze of panic.
I glance up at him, and I’m sure my fear is written all over my face.
He leans forward and holds out his hands in silent offering. Releasing my grip on the seat, I extend my arms to take his hands. They envelop mine almost entirely, and the difference in size would be almost comical if I weren’t seconds away from launching into the air.
"Are you okay?"
I nod even though I’m not sure I am.
The engines roar louder, and the plane starts to accelerate, pressing me back against my seat. I let go of Mark’s hands to grip the armrests for dear life and squeeze my eyes shut, willing this to be over.
"Would me holding you make you feel better or worse?" he asks over the sound of the accelerating plane.
The question catches me off guard, but I don’t have to think long. "Better," I manage to whisper around the painful knot in my throat. I doubt he hears me, but he sees the movement of my lips and quickly unclasps his seatbelt, covering the space between us in one step and squeezing into the seat beside me.
Without hesitation, he wraps an arm around my shoulders, pulling me against his side.
"You’re safe," he murmurs, his lips close to my ear. "I’ve got you. Nothing’s going to happen, I promise."
The plane lifts off the ground. My stomach drops and I huddle into Mark’s large, warm body. It provides a small amount of comfort to know he cares, even if my fear is unwarranted.
"Breathe, Claire," he coaxes as the plane climbs higher. "In through your nose, out through your mouth. Just like that. You can do this."
I try to follow his instructions, but my breath is shaky and shallow.
Mark’s arm tightens around me, and he shifts slightly, his body angled toward mine as if to shield me from the experience. "You’re safe. I won’t let anything happen to you. Just keep breathing. I’m right here."
The plane jolts, and I clutch at Mark’s forearm like it’s the only thing keeping me from falling.
"It’s just like going over a bump in a car," he reassures me. "That’s all it is."
I keep my eyes shut, focusing on the sound of his voice instead of the unsettling sensation of the plane climbing higher and higher.
"You’re doing so well," he continues. "Just a little longer, and we’ll level out. The hardest part’s almost over."
His words are a lifeline, pulling me back from the brink of panic. Slowly, my breathing evens out, and the tightness in my chest eases when the plane levels out. I open my eyes but don’t dare to glance out the window. Instead, I look up at Mark.
"You’re okay," Mark reassures me, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "In twenty minutes, you’ll forget you’re even on an airplane."
This gets a snort out of me. "Yeah, right."
His smile expands. "Are you scared of heights?"
"I don’t think so."
"Look." He points to my other side, out the window, and keeps his arm wrapped around me.
I take a deep breath and look out the window, and my breath is stolen from me again, but not out of fear. The city is disappearing in the distance, the massive skyscrapers looking like nothing more than toys on the ground from this angle.
I turn to Mark. "Thank you."
"Anytime," he replies with a soft smile. His finger traces slow, soothing circles on my arm. I’m not even sure if he knows if he’s doing it.
I turn to look back out the window, but before I do, I catch sight of Shane smirking from the other side of the plane and Dani sitting next to him with an excited smile. To them, it probably looks like Mark and I have started dating or something.
Fat chance.
But even despite my brushing off that possibility, there’s a part of me that wishes it could be true. I won’t push him, mostly because I know he won’t budge on it, but my feelings for him are growing stronger by the day. I’ll just have to do my best to hide them and hope that things work out until I inevitably find my own place to live.
Two months ago, that thought would have excited me beyond all reason—being able to afford my own apartment, having friends in the city—but now the idea of moving out of Mark’s leaves a hollow feeling in my chest.
After thirty minutes or so of staring out the window, I lean my head back against the cushion of the seat and close my eyes. The adrenaline rush I just had combined with my lack of sleep last night have left my body weighed down with exhaustion.
I don’t even realize I’ve fallen asleep until I wake to Mark’s hand gently shaking my shoulder.
"Sorry to wake you, but we’ll be descending soon, and I didn’t want you to wake up scared that we were falling or anything." There’s a tiny, playful smirk on his lips, but I can’t find myself to be annoyed with him. He’s been so gentle with me today in a way that makes me feel closer to him. Maybe too much closer to him.
"Thank you," I manage to say through a yawn.
He was right—the descent isn’t quite as terrifying as the ascent was, but the way my stomach drops as we go lower is still nerve-wracking.
But we’re slowly getting closer to the ground, and I can now fully see the blue waters, sandy beaches, and vivid green palm trees. I don’t even realize I’m smiling until I turn to Mark to find him already watching me with something like affection in his eyes, and suddenly my heart is beating faster for an entirely different reason.