CHAPTER 1 #3
Shut up! Anger… no… not anger, I’m way past that. Mind numbing rage is clearing my head. I just want him to shut his filthy mouth. I’m never going to live this down. He thinks he’s being funny, but he’s not.
A horrifying thought slams into me. What if he’s not joking?
He has to be, right?
The mere thought of what he’s suggesting is too much, even for him. I feel dizzy, and I think I’m going to be sick. He is joking, isn’t he?
Why can’t I tell? Maybe because he sounds so serious, but at the same time there are limits, and even he knows this would be one giant, blaring red line that he could never, ever cross. He has to know that.
But does he? Honestly, the way he’s acting, I don’t think he does. I think he might actually believe he could get me to do this. Why would he want to? I guess the bigger question is, how could he think so little of me?
Despite the chilling night air, heat sears my skin at the mere thought of him trying to use me this way. It’s a lot to process, and the anger building in my stomach makes it hard to breathe. I try to pull in shallow breaths as I bring a sweaty palm to my chest.
“Dan, come on,” he bellows. “It’s a deep throat you’ll never forget. Hell, for five hundred she’ll rock your world in ways you can’t even begin to imagine. It’ll be the best hour of your life, I promise.”
A high-pitched ringing in my ears drowns out the music blaring over the loudspeakers as my vision narrows like I’m looking down a dark tunnel that’s shrinking to a pinhole.
I haven’t had a panic attack in years. I try to slow my breathing as my failing vision falls to the ground.
He just keeps talking, saying the nastiest things I think I’ve ever heard, and I can’t take it anymore.
I claw at consciousness as my whole body begins to sway.
It’s like there’s a million caterpillars crawling around my insides, nibbling and devouring every bit of self-respect I have left.
I drop my Solo cup, the beer washing over my worn tennis shoes.
It’s strange. Feeling the cold liquid drench my socks is somehow… calming. It’s the distraction I desperately needed to snap me out of this haze. My breathing slows.
Out of the corner of my eye, I notice phones being held up, and not some phones—every damn one of them.
Of course they’re filming this epic disaster that’s my life.
All I can do is pull in a deep breath in a weak attempt to keep from adding even more excitement to their soon-to-be viral videos by hurling what’s left of my tortured stomach.
How could Jake do this to me? How could he do this to us?
I force my eyes down, like that simple gesture can somehow make me invisible.
I don’t want to look up. I don’t want to see anyone.
Every girl here is probably wondering why I’m with a guy like Jake.
The weight of their stares is crushing me, crushing my soul, and there’s no way out of this. I feel so trapped.
“Mike, I see the way you’ve been looking at her,” Jake says.
“C’mon, I’ll give you a deal because we’re friends.
What do you say to half off? Only two-hundred and fifty bucks, you won’t regret it.
” I glance up just enough to see that Mike doesn’t turn away.
If anything, with that horny expression in his eyes and the way he’s ogling me in the creepiest way ever, I think he might actually be considering my so-called boyfriend’s offer. How could he?
For a moment I meet his gaze with a glare that could kill, challenging him to fucking try it.
If he so much as lays a finger on me, I’ll scratch his eyes out.
The daggers I’m throwing at him with my eyes seem to be getting the message across.
He hesitates, then looks away and is about to walk off when Jake steps between us.
“Tell you what, I’ll sweeten the deal. She’ll even show you her perky tits—no extra charge. ”
It’s like my boyfriend, the man I gave my heart to, just hit me in the face with a softball bat. I think his comments sting more than if he had. At least I know one thing for sure—he’s definitely not joking.
“No,” I say, staring at the ground. It comes out as a soft whisper. It’s all I can manage.
Jake whips around, fire in his eyes as he grabs my arm so hard the pain releases a new wave of tears I was desperately trying to hold back.
His grip really hurts as he puts his nose to my ear.
Through clenched teeth, he growls, “Look, last night I lost my entire paycheck playing poker, and it was all because of your dad. I should never have listened to a broke-down fucked-up loser like him, but I did because I was desperate, and he took advantage of that. Now I’m totally fucked, so here’s the deal.
I owe some dangerous people a lot of money, and if I don’t pay, it’ll be bad, real bad, so you’ll do what I say, and tonight, honey, you’re going to do this. Do you hear me?”
I try to pull away. “You’re hurting me,” I whimper as tears continue to flow.
I struggle, but his wiry hand tightens, his fingernails digging into my skin, sending a new wave of agony through me.
I stifle a scream that ends up a low groan through clenched teeth as I bite down trying to deal with the pain.
He looks around and sees everyone staring at us.
I think that makes him nervous because reluctantly, he lets go.
It’s a relief, but he’s still glaring at me with a tense jaw.
There’s evil in his eyes, a meanness I’ve never seen before, and I don’t know what to do. What’s gotten into him?
I look around. Why isn’t anyone coming to help?
How can they all just stand there and stare at me with their phones up, gawking at this crazy insanity like it’s the best show they’ve ever seen?
Jake has to be aware of all the phones too, but if he’s sober enough to realize what a total ass he’s making of himself, he isn’t showing it.
On the contrary, I think he’s still hoping to get paid at my expense.
Part of me wonders what he’s talking about and what will happen if he isn’t able to pay what he owes.
Will they hurt him? Will they do something worse?
How bad is this mess he’s gotten himself into?
I certainly don’t want anything to happen to him.
I love him, but as much as I care for him, as much as he means to me, there has to be another way because this isn’t something I can do. “No,” I whisper again.
Something in him changes so fast it’s terrifying.
In a split second, the way he turns on me with his lip twitching, I already know this is going to be bad.
He’s boiling over, and I’m afraid he’s going to do something even more embarrassing.
Whatever is going on with him and these people he owes, I’m sure we can work it out. He just needs to see that.
He drops the bottle of whiskey. As it falls on its side and begins to pour its contents onto the ground, the look he’s giving me is louder than words, and I know.
There’s no coming back, not for him. He’s made up his mind.
I can see it in his eyes. He’s going to end it and break up with me right here, right now in front of all these people and the pain in my chest is unbearable.
I feel so desperate to try to hold on, to somehow fix this.
If I can, if there’s a way, tomorrow he’ll apologize and we can—
Pain explodes in my jaw. I hit the ground hard with my nose in the dirt and the taste of blood in my mouth. God, it hurts.
Jake has never hit me before. The agony is so intense I can’t even think.
It takes a few seconds to catch my breath.
I cough and look up, expecting him to realize what he just did and tell me how sorry he is, and how he didn’t mean to.
But the look he’s giving me isn’t regret, it’s threatening.
Is he going to hit me again? My heart races as I raise my hand defensively, like this small gesture will somehow stop him.
He’s too big, and I don’t know what to do if he…
Suddenly his eyes dart from me to something else.
Through watery eyes I follow his gaze to Zane Shackler who’s swaggering over in his boots, black Stetson cowboy hat, and worn Wranglers.
All cowboy, he’s made quite a name for himself as a champion bull rider.
He looks calm as a summer’s day, sporting a sly grin, and anyone who knows Zane also knows that’s not a good thing.
I can’t take my eyes off him as he saunters up like he’s about to pat Jake on the shoulder with, “Now that’s how you get a bitch to behave,” but I know better. Jake puts a hand to stop the bull rider and in a defiant tone he spits at the cowboy, “I’m not leaving, Zane, so don’t even—”
It happens so fast it barely registers. Jake’s feet literally fly six inches off the ground. It all seems to happen in slow motion, and before my soon-to-be ex-boyfriend lands, I hurl, vomiting everything in my stomach.
Jake lands in the mess I just made, in the mess that I’m still making, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. When I’m finally done gut-wrenching all over him, I blink a few times to bring the scene into focus and almost forget about my own pain when I see it.
Something is horribly wrong. Covered in the contents of my insides, a sour odor filling the air, Jake’s jaw looks out of place, like it’s broken. He looks terrible. His eyes are closed, and he’s not moving. Is he unconscious… or dead?
Zane turns to the other guys and zeros in on Mike and Dan.
“If any of you even think about touching Maddie, you and I will have a serious problem!” He grits his teeth and slowly looks each of them in the eyes.
He’s downright terrifying. “You want a piece of this?” he shouts with his chest puffed out.
It’s all Zane in his true alpha mode. Then, just to drive his point home, his eyes narrow at each of them.
“Go ahead and give it a try. I fucking dare you.”