Chapter 53
CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE
He’s not coming.
The atrium is fully under the suns’ glare by the time I finally push my chair out. A nearby attendant gasps in horror, rushing from his station along the back wall to help me. I startle, swallowing a whine at the sudden movement.
Goddammit. I turn into more of an omega by the second. And the saddest thing is? I feel more like myself with every passing moment, too.
I know I’m not supposed to say this.
But fuck me.
Once again, everything in my life has changed overnight.
Mortana has already told the whole damn planet, it seems, crowing about how Zolkan and I will be bonded soon.
I still don’t think I understand exactly what that means—or why my stomach flips every time I think about it—but I barely slept, tossing and turning.
Replaying so many small moments that now feel enormous.
The day we met, when he burst into my shower… his eyes flashed. Just like they did at our first breakfast together… and the night he watched me with Rask.
He really knew the whole time.
My insides literally ache—and not with physical pain. That only makes it worse somehow. I would prefer an actual wound to an emotional one.
How can I stay here forever?
How could I leave?
Zolkan would be in agony. He must be already, having held himself off for so long.
Glancing around the “morning room,” I remember what he said to me the first time we sat here. How he told me it hurt to be near me… and at our dinner the next night, when he admitted being away from me was much worse.
If that’s true, where is he? Why is he still avoiding me now that the truth is out? Surely, I should be the pissed-off one here.
He lied to me. And Rask. And the whole damn planet.
But he only did it to keep me safe, I whisper to myself. And protect the few options I had left.
My Omega whines again, louder this time. I don’t want any other options! I just want—
That’s as far as she gets. Because each time I press her on which alpha she actually wants to see most, she can’t tell me. And honestly? I can’t tell her, either.
To add to the pile of things that are different, Norabi is nowhere to be found.
Instead, a smaller female named Xira showed up at my door this morning and handed me today’s light blue gown.
She also informed me that she is a rare Roktusian beta, selected to be my new attendant.
Since, apparently, other alphas now have to keep their distance—including Norabi and Mortana.
All to preserve me for the male who did not even show up to breakfast.
Xira rushes forward, pausing to bow before she addresses me. Small and light purple, she nearly blends into the cloudy Khanos morning outside the atrium’s not-windows.
“Can I get anything for you, Zellina?”
There’s that word again. Because they all assume, as his mate, I am the Zortaire’s lover, too.
I’ve thought about that a lot. Wondering if his avoidance was part of his plan. Could he not let himself sleep with me for some good reason? Was that part of protecting me? Or did he simply wish to give me a choice when I had so few others?
I guess I never exactly told the guy I wanted him. Or even that I liked him.
Never mind this other, bigger emotion blocking my throat…
“I need to see the Zortaire,” I decide, eyeing Xira. “Right away.”
She winces. “I—I’m afraid that isn’t possible, Zellina. The Zortaire specifically forbade any visitors. And asked the guards to keep you away from his tower.”
What. The. Fuck?
Is this male seriously going to banish me the morning after I found out he’s my mate?
My Omega gives me another hard shove. We need to GO.
I mentally slap her back. Go where, bitch? I don’t even know which—
An idea occurs to me, unfurling slowly. It’s something Rask would do—and that thought only ignites the urgency already smoldering in my middle.
“Ah, I see,” I reply, widening my eyes in the hope I’ll look earnest. “So I’m definitely going to avoid the…”
“Northwest tower,” Xira supplies. “Yes, Zellina.”
I nod, suppressing the urge to smile. “Right. Right. Absolutely.”
Xira’s expression is patronizing with approval. “Would you like to await him in your chamber?”
Blech.
Norabi may have been as soft as steel, but at least she respected my intelligence. If this chick thinks I’m just going to sit around my room and wait for some sort of instruction on How to Be a Good Alien Mate…
Well. She hasn’t been paying very much attention, has she?
“Excellent idea,” I lie. “I’ll head up there now. In the meantime, I wonder if you might find out what’s going to be for dinner tonight in the Dome? I have a couple of requests.”
Eager to please, Xira bows again and scurries off. Leaving me plenty of time to sweep my skirts off the floor and follow the tug in my middle.