18. Lethal weapons
They were barely through the door of the Rock Tavern when Bob grabbed Fred and Cara and dragged them towards the basement.
“You take care of the bar!” he barked at Shandy, who was still quite dazed after her long nap in the car.
Down in the underground office, Bob settled into his chair, and motioned for Fred and Cara to sit down too.
“The blood test results are back, and they’re fascinating,” he explained, turning his screen towards them.
“This is a diagram of Cara’s DNA. The parts in yellow are human, the parts in blue are elven, and the parts in green are a hybrid of the two, neither one nor the other.
But what do you think these red lines are? ”
Cara and Fred looked at each other and Fred shrugged.
“Blood?” he asked.
Bob let out a lungful of pure exasperation. “No, Fred. This is a diagram of… never mind. Anyway, Fred, or Cara, can you explain why there are traces of dragon in Cara’s system?”
Fred blushed a deep scarlet.
“It’s her, isn’t it?” said Cara, grimacing. “I’ve got a bit of her in me, haven’t I, Fred?”
“Who?” asked Bob. “Who else have you managed to fuck in the last… nine days?”
Only Cara and Shandy… Fred thought, a pang of almost guilt shooting through his chest at what Bob might think of the latter, but a pleasant tingle of lust making his cock twitch too.
“I didn’t fuck Dina,” Fred explained. “I only fingered her…”
“You fingered the Dragon Lord’s protege?” Bob asked, his brow furrowing and his eyes burning. “I’m starting to think I should have never let you leave the Tavern! Was that before or after you’d shacked up with young Cara here?”
None of your business! Fred thought, but held himself back.
“After,” he stated calmly, nodding in Cara’s direction. “Cara knows.”
“Well, somehow, Gordon Bennett knows how, you have managed to extract some of Dina’s magic and transfer it to Cara. Well done!” Bob rolled his eyes so hard that his pupils disappeared.
“That must be why I could use fire in the gym?” Cara gasped, clasping her hands together. “I have powers you don’t now!”
“I wouldn’t bet on it, Cara. Fred might have access to these powers too, if he’s able to pass them on. Fred, have you had any more of those magic orgasms?”
“Yes!”
Into Shandy too, Fred thought, as his mind filled with the sight of her beautiful behind pumped full of magic.
“I’ve been worrying about those,” Bob said, stroking his chin.
“In my 200 or so years on Earth, I have never heard of anything like it. There have been magical immigrants nearly as horny as you, and no reports of anything of the kind. Have you noticed any side effects? Any… you know… murderous intentions?”
“Quite the opposite,” Fred said. “It makes me feel… heroic? After the last time it happened I had such a burst of strength that I could run straight through the woods, without even breaking a sweat, carrying both Cara and Shandy!”
“Shandy? What does Shandy have to do with it?”
“Shandy’s not a little…” Cara started, but Bob silenced her with a wave of his hand, fusing her lips into a single, squishy mess.
“Sorry, Cara. I want Fred to explain this himself.”
Do you though? Fred thought. Do you really want me to go into details.
“I kind of had to…” Fred said. “You see, there’s something about when Cara and Shandy have magical orgasms…”
“What? What’s your excuse now?” Bob asked, his voice laced with menace.
“Well… once they start to orgasm, they can’t stop unless I fuck them with magic. When it happened in the woods, Cara couldn’t even stand!”
“You were fucking in the woods?”
“It’s perfectly legal. Cara said so.”
Bob let his head drop onto the table.
“Ugh! Cara, go and get Shandy!” he ordered, unlocking her lips with another wave of his hand.
“So, you found out that sex with humans had weird effects on them, therefore you decided to have more sex with more humans?” Bob asked. “What is wrong with you?”
Fred shrugged.
“I was young once too, long, long, long ago, but I was never, ever like you! If I found out sex with me could affect someone’s body that way, I would just stop having sex! But you? You’re like a virus!”
Shandy walked in, just as Fred was trying to find a suitable comeback to Bob’s rant.
Bob fumbled his phone a moment, and then pointed it at Shandy. He turned it towards Fred with unconcealed rage.
“3% human
90% other
7% elf”
The reading was just the same as Cara’s had been the first time Bob had scanned her.
“You have just turned these two, beautiful, perfect, young women into potentially lethal weapons,” Bob rumbled, clenching his fists and turning a terrifying shade of puce.
“I can’t face this now! Shandy, I’m leaving you in charge of the bar.
Don’t go getting angry with anyone! I’ll be back tomorrow. ”
Bob vaulted the table and shot up the stairs, leaving the three of them in stunned silence.
“It could have been worse,” Shandy said. “In fact, I’m surprised he hasn’t trapped us all in here so we can’t get up to any more mischief, like he did when you first arrived, Fred.”
“He’ll get over it,” Cara sighed. “He gets like this.”
Fred felt his shoulders drop as the tension melted from him, now that Bob was gone. He hated the way Bob seemed to think he could control him, but Cara and Shandy’s words soothed him.
Shandy came up behind him and began to massage his shoulders.
“I don’t mind being a lethal weapon,” she whispered in his ear. “It’s worth it to get to be with you.”
Fred turned his head round and Shandy stepped round just far enough for them to kiss. Again, Fred marvelled at the sudden softness emanating from Shandy.
“Excuse me! Hello? Is anyone there?” A voice floated down from the bar above.
“I’d better get back to work,” Shandy said. “Bob would kill me if a customer came down here!”
Shandy sprang over to Cara, planting a quick kiss on Cara’s lips, before sprinting up the stairs.
“She is definitely smitten,” Cara laughed. “You’re a lucky man, Fred.”
“What? Really? She’s just as into you!” Fred lied, blushing.
“She didn’t squeal in the end, did she,” Cara mused. “Do you think we could find a way to make her squeal?”
Fred shook his head at Cara, as a happy warmth spread out from the centre of his chest. Cara walked up to him and ran a finger down his chest.
“Let’s go home now and see if you can fuck a little more human out of me before we go to sleep.”
As Fred watched Cara’s arse disappear up the steps, that happy warmth reached his cock. So what if he had created two lethal weapons? No man on Earth had better girlfriends than his.