The Campaign
Two weeks pass quickly as I'm kept busy with cooking lessons with Bjorn, preparing the school and keeping the children entertained with my various stories about living in a castle.
I keep my recounts of the castle romanticised leaving out the financial status of my people and the King's not so loving view of his daughter.
Basically I've spent the last two weeks in a perfect bubble of blissful ignorance.
Today I spent with three men from the camp, Killian, Rupert and Mark, fishing by the river and cleaning the guts out of any fish we caught.
I didn't realise how much I would like the physical work of using my hands for something useful.
All those years of sewing and weaving and delicately embroidering are nothing compared to cutting into and preparing food I caught myself.
For the first time I felt like I had achieved something that mattered.
Sighing I push up from my place by the fire and start wandering back to my shelter.
The stars are well and truly out by now and the whole camp is washed in moonlight.
Golden lamps hang on every post and shelter as a guide but they may as well not be there at all, everyone here walks around in the dark confidently.
They know Merrywood Camp like the back of their hand.
I'm almost back when a hand grabs me by the elbow.
The movement is so surprising that I let out a grunt and turn into the body, smashing my other elbow into the body's gut.
The man lets out a cry and I take the advantage and slam my heel into his crotch.
The man whimpers and falls the ground with his hands between his legs.
It's only once the lamp's light hits his face that I recognise Bjorn's face in the darkness.
"Oh my gosh! Bjorn! Are you okay?"
I crouch nervously beside him and pat his shoulder in a gesture that probably isn't that comforting.
He groans quietly but nods anyway.
"I'm fine, ugh."
A laugh sounds from the other side of me and I turn to see Caspian and Nik come into view. Caspian's face is twisted into a wide smile and Nik looks vaguely impressed.
"You brought Bjorn down here quite efficiently, little warrior! I'm sure he won't be living that down in some time," Caspian laughs again before crouching down next to Bjorn. "Time to stand up, baby. You know you're fine - you just like being on your knees."
I blush bright red at Caspian's words and Nik notices, sending me a wry grin.
Bjorn stands up but not before shoving Caspian off with a blush. "Knock it off Cass. There's a Lady present."
Earlier guilt fills me. "I'm so sorry, Bjorn. I didn't see who it was until after you were on the ground. I promise I don't normally go attacking people." Although that isn't really true considering what I've done in the past.
Bjorn laughs heartily and taps my shoulder gently, "Nothing to be sorry about, Darling. It's good to know you can protect yourself if you need to."
A deep twist of shame spears through me and I look away from Bjorn in case it shows on my face.
"Was there something you guys needed?" All three of them surround me now and it's hard to keep track of what I'm saying as my eyes jump from man to man.
It's Nik who speaks. "We heard about the school you offered to run. Were you serious about that offer?"
I nod passionately, "Of course. It would be a shame to not give those kids the best run at life they can have and doing this for them is a simple way to help."
Caspian beams at me, "Leo and Bobbin came and found me to tell me about you. They were very excited. I think you've won yourself some fans."
I smile, filled with warmth at the kids eagerness to learn.
Caspian grabs a satchel off of Nik and opens it showing me the contents. Several kids books are tucked inside and I gasp in excitement.
"Oh my gosh! This is perfect for the kids."
The three men grin and I smile back at them, "thank you so much."
Caspian clamps his hand down on Bjorn's shoulder, "it was all Bjorn. He found them in an old loot stash."
I smile and walk up to Bjorn pressing a soft kiss to his cheek happily. "Well thank you then Bjorn."
He blushes and I laugh softly when I step back.
Caspian's eyes turn heated watching the scene and his voice is liquid when he says, "I didn't realise kisses were the prizes for impressing you, Love.
I'll have to try harder."
This time it's me who blushes and I turn away from Caspian in time to catch the heavy look Nik gives him.
"Princess, we also came over here to let you know that we will be gone tomorrow morning.
We haven't been on a campaign since we..
. well we robbed you and the supplies are getting low.
" Nik's eyes are studying as he speaks, trying to dissect my feelings on my face.
I'm silent as I process his words. Obviously I knew that they would steal again but I wasn't prepared for it to be so soon.
It's enough to bring the butterflies that were causing havoc in my stomach to a halt.
I'd forgotten. I'd become complacent in their presences and forgotten who they actually were.
It didn't really matter how nice they were to me if they were out there stealing livelihoods from innocent people.
It's more complicated than that and I know that I don't have all the information yet but the doubt is enough to prompt me to ask, "Could I come with you?"
Nik's face turns to granite, "absolutely not." Caspian glances wearily between Nik and I, carefully watching as my face twists in annoyance.
"Why not?" I demand. This is my chance to decide whether these men are who they say they are, a reassurance I desperately need.
Nik's reply is cold, "you're too soft for a campaign, Princess. It's not the pretty, pampered castle you're used to and I'm not letting you come and endanger my men."
Bjorn nudges Nik harshly but he shakes him off. Caspian turns to me and tries to soften the blow of Nik's words.
"What Nik is trying to say is these campaigns are dangerous and we would never want you to get hurt."
He thinks I'm soft and weak? These idiots have no idea how strong I am - what I've lived through.
"That's bullshit and you know it. I'm perfectly fine at sword fighting and it's not like I'll actually be in the way, I just want to see what happens."
"Enough Juliette! You are not coming with us. End. Of. Story." Nik's angry outburst cuts through me like a knife and the whiplash of his attitude stings.
I silently analyse the three men standing before me.
Nik's face is cold and angry, Bjorn's is similar but clearly directed towards Nik, and Caspian casts worried glances between the three of us.
I'm not going to lie and pretend Nik's rejection and clear belief of my weakness doesn't sting.
I'm done with this conversation and the men in front of me.
I've had enough men lording over me for a lifetime and I refuse to let another one tell me who I am.
"I'm going to bed. And the way you speak to me better be fixed by the next time I see you." With that I turn my back to them and enter my shack.
I collapse on my bed inside and the wheels in my brain won't shut off.
Tears prick my eyes as I remember the harsh words that were spat at me outside.
I'm not some weak, little princess who spent her life pampered in a castle.
Any weakness or innocence I had in my body was ripped away from me the night those two men decided I was an easy target.
I fell into a spiral of shame and darkness and it wasn't until the night of my revenge that something snapped.
I was never going to be that weak, little girl again.
Nik's words are also enough to bring back Daria and her parting words to me. Shit. I really thought I'd get out of having to confront that part of my thoughts.
It was surprising to witness such a shift in her character.
I'd known her since she become my lady-in-waiting and governess when I was 8.
She taught me to embroider and stitch and when the incident happened, she was the one to care for me and teach me basic first aid.
She also was the first one to introduce me to music, to the lute and to singing.
A passion that has followed me into adult life.
Stupidly I feel tears prick in my eyes and I wipe them furiously away. I'm not crying because of the choice I made in the stable, I'm crying because of the relationship I lost.
I would never had suspected that Daria would want to use my life like that. I understand she's got family but realistically the money given by Richard to the King will just be used to decorate the coffers. He's too greedy to spend any of it on his people.
Tears run faster down my cheeks than I can wipe them away and I give up and just let them roll off my chin.
I need to move on from Daria. And confront what I'm going to do about the King.
I haven't decided whether I'm going to go home yet or what other options I even have.
Richard might forget about me and find another wife before he's too old but the King would turn me straight into Richard's hands the moment he saw me.
Even if Richard didn't want me as a wife anymore he would certainly wish to punish me for my insult.
Suddenly everything feels too overwhelming and I slam a pillow over my head trying to block the noise. I will feel better in the morning. Maybe.