Chapter Twenty-Six
Reckless
W AKING UP WITH Caliana in my arms was the best way to wake up.
I’ve dreamed of having her in my arms and being in bed with her for so many years and I finally got a taste of what it feels like.
For minutes I did nothing but look at her as she laid with her head on my shoulder and her arm over my stomach.
She’s beautiful when she’s awake but when she sleeps, Cali is an angel.
I’m honestly surprised she was able to sleep since it’s been so hard for her to do for the last few days.
Cali has so much going on in her life she can’t get her mind to shut off so she remains awake other than an hour or so.
Then she’s up all day with Rory while waiting for Bryce to get home from school.
Everything she does is to keep her awake so she doesn’t have to dream of the shit keeping her awake.
It’s one thing for her to face her monsters while awake and something else completely to face them while she sleeps because she can’t fight them in her nightmares.
Kreed and I have had to wake her up in the past when she has a nightmare and it takes forever to pull her free from the demons haunting her.
After giving myself a few minutes to simply savor the feeling of her body against mine and the feel of her soft skin, I climbed out of bed with her to leave.
This is the only time I will ever allow myself to share what we did last night and this morning.
I’ve betrayed one of my best friends in a way I’ll never be able to forgive myself.
It’s even worse because we have a feeling Darren is alive.
That means Cali is no longer a widow. She’s a married woman and we’ve cheated on her husband.
Darren is going to be so fucking hurt because of what we did.
I knew that going into things last night and still didn’t stop myself from being a selfish bastard and having what I’ve wanted for so long. Fuck!
Getting dressed, I quickly leave the house before the kids can see me. Luca is in the living room when I walk through and he just looks at me.
“Didn’t see a thing,” he whispers as I head for the front door.
“Appreciate that, Luca. You’re a good guy.
Please take care of her today. I don’t know where her head will be and she’ll need the support.
I don’t know if I’ll be back. Don’t tell her that,” I tell him, knowing Cali might end up in a bad head space if she overthinks what happened between the two of us.
“Got it, Reckless. If it gets too bad, I’ll call Link and let him know to come home,” he assures me, knowing I might not be able to come here and help Cali even though it’s all I want to do.
I don’t want to leave her right now. I’d rather be in bed with her until it’s time to get Bryce ready for school and to feed Rory her breakfast. I want to spend the day with her doing whatever is needed.
Even if it’s just cleaning the house that’s already spotless.
Darren’s words about her never being able to keep a clean house have truly taken a toll on Cali.
Their house was never dirty. The only thing that was ever out were Bryce’s toys when he was playing with them.
When he wasn’t, they were picked up and put in the box Cali kept them in.
She cleaned every single day. Even if it was late at night when Bryce was in bed.
My mom kept us updated on her when we were deployed.
Cali did everything in the house on her own regardless of if Darren was home or not.
She’s no different now and Kreed’s house doesn’t even look lived in.
If I had my way, I’d still be taking care of Cali.
I’d make her breakfast and get the kids around for the day so she can sleep in.
She wouldn’t have to lift a finger to do anything.
I would take care of everything and let her get the rest she never has a chance to get.
Cali is up early as hell and then goes to bed late at night.
She does what she can during the day and finishes everything up at night once the kids are in bed for the night.
The only time her day varies is if one of the kids is sick and then she’s busy taking care of them.
Cali never puts herself first and I don’t see that changing any time soon.
Getting on my bike, I quickly head to the clubhouse and park in my spot.
Most of the guys have already left for work or to clean around the haunted house so it’s ready for tonight when we open.
Kreed’s bike is gone so I know he’s at the garage we opened here in Glendale.
I won’t be going in today because we really don’t have any big projects on the books.
I’ve got a ton of paperwork to do in the office and other shit to do around here for the club.
Plus, I have to help Master look into everything regarding Cali.
The quicker we figure this situation out, the better everything will be.
Cali can move back to her home with the kids and I can try to forget having her in my arms and feeling her wrapped around me.
It’s not like I’ll ever forget that moment, but I can try.
I just won’t turn to drinking and fucking all the Feral girls again.
I was stupid to pull that shit in my pathetic attempt to push Cali out of my head and heart.
Heading straight for my room after parking my bike and entering the common room, I take a shower.
While letting the water rain down over me, I let myself picture Cali last night.
I see her face as she finds her release, the feel of her smooth skin against mine, and her hair spread out like a halo above her head.
A fucking goddess in every way. I hear her moans of pleasure and something in me feels proud as hell because I made her do that.
She screamed out my name and it’s so different hearing her say it when I’m buried deep inside her versus her saying it on a daily basis.
I can’t describe what I feel knowing I had just a small taste of her because now I want her every day in every single way imaginable.
I’m so fucked and don’t know how I’ll handle it because one taste of Cali will never be enough.
After drying off and getting dressed in a pair of shorts and my sneakers, I find a random tee-shirt to put on while I walk through the clubhouse.
Instead of going to eat or anything else, I make my way to the gym.
I’m not expecting my dad and Tank to be working out.
I was really hoping to be alone so I could work my way through the feelings inside me. Now I won’t get that chance.
“Mornin’, Son,” my dad greets me as he finishes his set on the pull up bar. Tank is on the treadmill running like his life depends on it and he’s not even out of breath. The man is a damn beast.
“Mornin’,” I grumble in return, my good mood disappearing completely as the confusion and guilt take over completely.
“What’s goin’ on?” Tank asks me, slowing his run down to a walk before shutting the treadmill off and grabbing his towel.
“Nothin’,” I answer, sitting down on the mat to warm up before starting my workout.
“Caleb, you know you can’t lie to either one of us.
We’ve seen you in every damn situation you could be in and know when somethin’ is weighin’ you down.
Right now, you have the weight of the world on your shoulders and it’s a heavy burden to carry alone,” my dad says, walking over to me and sitting on the mats with a bottle of water in his hand.
“I’m guessin’ it involves Cali since you didn’t come back here last night.
I know you’ve been stayin’ up there as long as you can, but you always return at some point durin’ the night.
You won’t allow yourself to sleep in the same house as her for more than a night or two. ”
“I just fucked everythin’ up. I betrayed my best friend in the worst way possible and made Cali into somethin’ she’s not,” I say, dropping my head and giving up the pretense of working out because this is about to turn into a therapy session with my dad and uncle.
Something I desperately need after last night and this morning.
“So, you and Cali had sex last night. Gonna guess you slept with her all night long too,” my uncle states as he sits on the bench right next to us and downs half a bottle of water at once. “Did you take care of her afterwards? That’s my only question.”
“Of course I took care of her. I’d never treat Cali like a Feral girl or some random hookup.
Not that I treat them like shit. I ran her a bath and washed her hair and body before puttin’ her to bed.
She was asleep the second her head hit the pillow.
It was the best night of my life and now the guilt is hittin’ me hard,” I answer my uncle, offended he would think I wouldn’t take care of the girl I’ve loved for as long as I can remember.
“We knew you’d take care of her, Caleb. Tank was just makin’ sure you realized you took care of her the way you should.
You’ve always viewed Cali as your queen.
It’s why you call her Reina. In your eyes, she’s the perfect woman and will never do anythin’ to change your view of her.
She could literally set the world on fire and you’d make sure she was okay before askin’ if she needed help with anythin’ else.
You’ve waited a long time to be with her and it’s finally happened.
What’s the problem?” my dad questions me and I know why he’s asking me this question.
It’s not because he wants to know why I feel this is a bad thing, he wants me to truly think about why this is making me feel so much guilt.