35. Jade
35
JADE
Not divorced, but not married either.
The news struck me like lightning, making it impossible to breathe. Any chance I thought I had of winning Asher back just flew out the window. I had no claim on him. He was off living his life with the new love of his life and I was…
I was what?
Floating. Drifting. Nonexistent .
I came here to find my husband and instead, I lost him. He’d already moved on with his life. It was too late for me, and I hardly had anyone to blame but myself. His words still rang in my head like a bell.
You’re fucking toxic to me!
I sucked in a ragged breath, rubbing the ache in my chest as I squeezed my eyes closed. It was painful enough to know that he was no longer in love with me, but to hear those words cut me deep. To actually hear a person call me toxic…I didn’t even know how to respond to that. After all the shit I put up with in my life, the last person in the world I expected to say anything like that to me was Asher.
He was the man who held me when things were hard. He kept me together when I thought I would crumble. I still remembered the way his arms felt wrapped around me, yet somehow, I was responsible for him almost taking his own life.
I swiped the tears from my face as I curled up on the couch and tried to reconcile the man I loved with the man he had become. Life had changed so much in the years since I last saw him. Everything I thought I knew was different. Most of that was good. I wasn’t in the same vile life I was part of before, but the one man I loved more than anything was gone. Was that the price I had to pay for escaping?
The soft knock at the door would normally have me swiping the tears from my face and pulling myself together, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. I heard his footsteps and instantly knew who it was. His presence only made me cry harder. Aside from Asher, he was the one man who had always been there for me, and knowing I was losing him too just killed me.
“I guess you heard,” he sighed, sitting across from me.
I sniffled, swiping my nose on the sweater I wore. “That I’m not married? Yeah, I got the wonderful news about an hour ago. I bet he’s celebrating right now.”
“Jade…” Patrick sighed.
“If you’re going to tell me this was meant to be or I need to accept the truth, you can save it. My husband left me. There’s no getting over that.”
“He didn’t leave you, Jade. He thought you were dead. He moved on with life. What did you expect him to do?”
I had asked myself that question several times and I still didn’t know the answer. Now that I was not dead, I guess I still assumed he would want to be with me. “I don’t know. I guess I imagined him seeing me and being shocked, but relieved. I thought we would have this wonderful reunion and…and we would move on with life.”
“Well, that’s not gonna happen.”
“Obviously,” I retorted.
“Sitting around here will get you nowhere. Get dressed.” He shoved to his feet and grinned. “We’re going out.”
“I don’t want to,” I muttered.
“Too bad. We have things to do.”
I glared at him, not at all interested in whatever he had in store for me. “Patrick, I just found out my husband is gleefully rid of me. He’s known since last night, and I’m sure he was celebrating all night with his little skank. The last thing I want to do is go anywhere.”
“Well, too bad. Sitting around is not an option.”
I sighed, burying my face in the couch, but Patrick grabbed me by the arm and hauled me to my feet. “Patrick?—”
“Nope. I’m not taking no for an answer. Now, you can go get dressed, or I’ll make you leave the house dressed like you are. It’s your choice.”
I was ready to stand my ground and fight him every step of the way, but I knew it would be useless. “Fine. Give me a few minutes.”
“It’ll take more than a few minutes to comb out that rat’s nest on top of your head,” he called after me.
I slammed the door for good measure, then rushed to the bathroom to check out the damage. Grimacing, I grabbed a brush and immediately started detangling my hair. It really was horrible. It only took twenty minutes to look presentable, and when I was finally dressed, I did feel slightly better, though I would never tell Patrick that. I didn’t need him rubbing that in my face the rest of the day.
“Alright, where are we going?”
“On an adventure,” he grinned, taking my hand as he led me to the car. The gesture was appreciated, making me feel comforted when I felt so alone in this world.
I let him drive me around town, babbling about random things that I really didn’t care about. Most of the time, I wasn’t even paying attention. I had no idea where we were going or what we were doing. Everything looked the same in this town, and I couldn’t believe I actually considered living here to win Asher back. It didn’t appeal to me at all.
“Where are we going?” I asked as we drove through some small subdivision.
He parked along the curb and tapped his thumb on the steering wheel as he waited. “Just give it a minute.”
I rolled my eyes, thumping my elbow on the window ledge as I waited impatiently for the grass to grow. What was the point of all this? Who would want to live like this? Manicured lawns and neighbors waving at each other every morning…it wasn’t terrible, but I had other ideas of how I wanted to live after being cooped up in my father’s house for so long.
“Here we go.”
I sat up straight, watching out the windshield as a truck pulled along the curb, followed by another truck.
“Wait, that’s Asher’s truck,” I said, frowning as he got out. He hurried over to the passenger side and helped Holly down, grinning as he wrapped his arm around her neck and pulled her in for a kiss. My heart thundered in my chest as he smiled down at her, laughing at something she said. He looked so fucking happy.
The other man started talking to them, showing them something about the house, and that’s when I realized what they were doing. I gasped in pain, holding my chest as I saw the sign on the lawn.
“They’re buying a house,” I whispered. My gaze snapped to Patrick’s. “Why did you bring me here?”
“Watch.”
I reluctantly turned back and watched as Asher walked around the outside of the property with Holly, checking the foundation and looking at the flower beds with her. He was motioning around the yard with her, always with a big smile on his face. He looked genuinely happy. There wasn’t a single ounce of fear or worry in his features. And then they disappeared inside.
I slid to the front of my seat, desperate to see what happened next. I almost got out and snuck around to the back of the property so I could spy on them. Somehow, I held back. It felt like hours that they were in the house, but they finally emerged, both of them laughing and happy as can be. Asher shook the man’s hand.
Did that mean he was putting in an offer? Did he like the house or was he just in a good mood? Then they both got in their trucks and drove away.
“That’s it?” I shouted. “What happened? Are they buying?”
“I don’t know. Should we follow?”
“Yes!”
He shrugged and slowly pulled out, tailing them down the road. I nervously bit my thumbnail as we followed them to another neighborhood, and then another. Each house we followed them to was a little nicer, but it was the last one that really sparked my attention. This one wasn’t quite as cookie-cutter. It was on a quieter street with more trees and more character to the houses. The house they parked in front of was beautiful with so many wonderful features that I almost found myself calling Asher to tell him to buy that house.
The look on Holly’s face said it all. She was in love. And the way Asher looked at her…
“Do you see it?” Patrick asked.
Tears filled my eyes as I nodded. “Yes. I see it.”
“You deserve that, too, Jade. Not what your father pushed on you. Not what you and Asher were thrown into. Yes, you loved each other, but you deserve so much more. What you see there,” he nodded to Holly and Asher. “That’s real love, and one day, you’ll find someone that makes you just as happy. And it won’t be because he held you through the trauma or rescued you from flying bullets. It’ll be because he found you and fell hard for the person you are.”
I gasped as his warm hand wrapped around mine. My vision blurred as I looked at our joined hands. “I need to let him go.”
“You do.”
I nodded and squeezed his hand.
“You deserve better. Remind yourself of that and you’ll be alright.”
Though my heart was racing and my palms were sweating, I looked up at Patrick and swallowed down the last of my regrets. “Take me back to the hotel. I’m ready to leave.”
He nodded and gave me another squeeze. “You’ll be okay, Jade. I promise you.”
“I know I will.”
And I would be. Starting over was hard, but I had been reborn with a new life. I had an opportunity not many got, and I wasn’t going to waste it.