Chapter 29
Joon's heavy footfalls on the stairs lasted longer than the sight of his back as the omega stormed away, leaving Marcus and me in awkward silence.
Anxiety clawed at my stomach, and I fought the urge to fidget with my hair.
“Um…”
Did I do something to upset him?
From the sound of Marcus' laughter before I'd come in, it seemed like he and Joon were finally getting along. At least partially… Enough that they weren't completely at each other's throats.
So what happened?
Was it me?
No, that couldn't be it. Joon and I had been great since we cleared things up after the bar. Our relationship was probably the easiest out of anyone in the house, except maybe Indi, but—who the hell didn’t get along with Indi?
"What's eating him?" I asked, in a would-be casual tone as I reached to remove the strawberries off the top of my creme brulee, earning a hard smack of my fingers from Marcus.
"I have no idea when you last washed your hands. Use your fork, or I’ll have to serve you,” he scolded with a hard look that made my stomach heat. “Joon’s always like that. Hot one minute and cold the next. I used to think it was an omega thing, but…"
Marcus’ reassurance was just what I needed. My anxiety about Joon's mood disappearing as quickly as it'd appeared. It was really, really hard to focus on his rapidly shifting emotions when a giant, hot alpha was offering to serve me.
Okay, maybe I was a teeny, tiny bit of a shitty friend—packmate—sort-of-girlfriend-thing. But, hey! A girl deserved to be selfish once in a blue moon, and if I had to punch my card for anyone, Marcus seemed like a good choice.
"But then I showed up." I finished for him, meeting his eyes.
The alpha smiled, at least, he made an attempt, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards as he took my spoon, offering me a bite of creme brulee from the end. “Yeah, then you showed up.”
I blushed and mentally promised that I’d check on Joon and get his side of the story after dessert, leaning forward to take the offered bite.
The floorboards creaked, and I turned, offering the omega a grin—or, I would've, if it was Joon coming back through the doorway.
"That looks delicious, dollface," Indigo said cheerfully, pecking at my temple on the way past. "Who pissed off Joon? I thought we were having a nice, quiet evening for once."
Burned sugar and sea salt met my nose alongside Marcus' creamy crème br?léee and my knees wobbled, a wave of arousal that had everything to do with Indigo's tightly fitted black joggers and T-shirt as much as their scent.
"Joon pissed himself off," Marcus scoffed, scooping up another bite to offer to me.
Indigo groaned, pinching the bridge of their nose on the way to the coffee maker. "What did you say to him?"
"Actually," I mumbled, a little uncomfortably as I toed the tile with my foot under the table. "I think it was me. But I'm not sure why."
Indi opened their mouth to speak, but Marcus cut them off, his detached tone at odds with the irritated set of his shoulders.
"Because he always does this. He gets upset over little things, and instead of communicating, he takes it out on everyone—"
"That's not fair," Indi snapped, the edge in their voice making me blink in surprise.
I didn't even know that they could be mad, much less talk to someone like that. More troubling, though, was the way my body responded to it, heat continuing to lick at my insides the longer I sat with my eyes bouncing between them.
If they wanted to force me to be in the middle, the least they could do is take their cocks out. Paris was supposed to be lovely this time of year.
Whoa! Eva, come on, babe? What is going on with you!
Focus!
This is about Joon! And we care about Joon way, way more than getting off.
"But not untrue," Marcus volleyed back, pointing the spoon at Indigo with emphasis. "He's fucking childish."
"He's sensitive," Indi stressed, fiddling with the buttons on the coffee maker with an annoyed sigh.
"And sometimes he has a hard time talking about his feelings.
Is that a crime? Because then we're all fucking guilty, especially you.
When's the last time you opened up to anyone?
And no, shouting about your feelings into the abyss of the walk-in doesn't count. "
The air shifted, and the wholly inappropriate sexy thoughts that I was trying to shelve were forgotten as I promptly started trying to mind my business.
The angry aura hanging around Marcus was… really, really fucking scary. But worse was the nearly silent, clipped nature of his voice.
"You know when the last time was."
I'd expect an alpha of his size and general personality to yell when he was upset, and maybe my assessment was correct, because Indigo stopped fussing with the machine to turn to him, their eyes hard.
"So what?" they asked, hands falling to their hips in a way that reminded me a little too much of a chicken to be particularly scary.
"We're all a bit fucked up from that. It's not a free pass to be a dickhead forever, Marcus.
You can't punish Joon for Mindy forever; he wasn't even here. Cut the guy some slack."
Mindy? I tucked that little tidbit away for later.
"I've cut him plenty!"
"When?"
I took Joon’s discarded spoon to continue to eat my dessert, watching them volley this argument back and forth. It was obvious there were issues in the pack. I wasn't completely blind to that, but the tension between Marcus and Indi seemed like it'd been going on for a while.
"Maybe if you acted like you gave a shit about him, it wouldn't be like this."
"I do give a shit," Marcus snapped. "He's the one that doesn't want to be a part of this pack."
"What are you talking about? Of course he fucking does! He wants to have a baby with us."
"He's bluffing. He doesn't even want a bond."
"He doesn't?" I asked, my curiosity getting the better of me.
Both of their gazes flipped to me. Whoops. I hadn't meant to insert myself into their fight, but… I mean, they did decide to have it right in front of me, so..
"He's just not ready," Indi clarified.
"He's never going to be," Marcus interjected roughly.
"Probably not, if you keep fucking pressuring him about it all of the time," Indigo growled. Their expression softened as they looked to me, making an effort to keep the anger out of their voice. "Joon has some, uh, trauma about bonding that he's not fully worked through."
"Is he okay?" I asked, my heart sinking into the pit of my stomach.
"I think so," they said. "To be honest, I haven't asked him about it. He'll share when he's ready, but I think we're helping him. Sometimes—" they said pointedly at Marcus, who hardly acknowledged them. “Either way, it’s not my business to share.”
"I can see why he wouldn't like me sniffing around then," I said, feeling a bit dejected. "Even though it's all for the contract, he's probably worried that I’m going to take his alphas away."
Saying out loud that the only thing between us was a contract felt wrong, but it was the truth.
We'd agreed to fuck until I was pregnant, and then they would provide me care until I had the baby. And then… Nothing, I suppose.
They would go on with their lives, and I would go on with mine. Except even thinking about it going down like that had me on the verge of tears.
It’d only been a few days, but that didn’t matter. I wanted this pack. I wanted Joon.
But what I wanted didn't matter. A deal was a deal, and I had to stick by it.
The alphas looked at me with confusion pulling their brows together.
"It’s not that he doesn’t like you," Indi said, breaking the silence. "In fact, I think that’s part of the problem. Joon likes you a lot."
He emphasized in a way that meant more than friends to me, though I kind of wished the alpha had said that Joon like-liked me. The childish phrasing would’ve been so cute coming out of their mouth.
"But I always piss him off?”
"So does this dickhead," Indi said, pointing to Marcus. "But he still tries."
“Tries, sure,” Marcus grumbled, putting my spoon in his mouth. “If you figure out the coffee machine, make me one too.”
“Oh, fuck off,” Indi said, but it held no heat. “Joon just… has trouble communicating. He’s uncomfortable being vulnerable. And when it happens, he brats out to push people away."
"Okay," I said slowly, considering. "How did you make him stop pushing you away?"
"I didn’t. I just… don’t let him."
I raised a brow. "Don't let him get mad?"
"That's not what I'm saying," Indi said. "He pushes like some kind of test. It's not like he does it on purpose, but it's his way of seeing if you're going to run away once you see the real him. I just don’t let it work. Keep showing up."
I nodded, though it sounded a bit crazy; I could follow the logic.
Hurt people, hurt people and all that.
"That bullshit, for the record,” Marcus grumbled. “We shouldn’t be expected to take a fucking lashing because Joon won’t face his shit.”
Indi shrugged. "You don't have to. I just don't let him talk to me like that. Dom the brat out of him, if you have to, Marcus. You’re a big fucking boy.” They rolled their eyes, offering me a smile.
“But, if that's not your style, you can wait him out. Let him go sulk and blow off some steam, and then address him when he’s ready to be reasonable. "
"I feel like we're talking about him like he’s a dog," I mumbled disapprovingly.
“That’s not the intention," Indi said. "He just needs special care, and if you've never encountered it, I can see why it's confusing."
What they said made sense. Or, at the very least, it explained why things with Joon always felt a little bit like walking up the down escalator.
Marcus was back to being quiet. There were obviously some things he needed to sort out, so it was probably a good time for me to give everyone a little space.
"I'm going to go check on Joon."
Marcus slid out of the bench seat so I could get out.
"Thanks for dessert," I said to the alpha, standing on tiptoe to offer a kiss. “And dinner. I had a really fun night.”