Chapter 29 #2
"Me too, final girl,” he said, bending to meet me halfway.
I smirked. The nickname was so dumb, but apparently, he’d decided to keep it.
And, I couldn’t say I hated it, so…
Indigo turned back to the coffee machine with a triumphant whoop. “I got you, fucker.”
I laughed, heading off to find Joon. Halfway up the stairs, my phone chimed with an invitation to join Marcus in his room later that night.
Scheduling his life so rigidly was a little weird, but I kind of found the quirk endearing. I didn’t hesitate to confirm my attendance in his bed that night, smiling to myself as I reached the top of the stairs.
Cameo appeared from his bedroom, coming down the hallway towards me with his hair mussed. When I’d popped in to see him earlier, he’d been reading in bed, but something about the tired look in his eyes told me that maybe there had been a nap in there somewhere, too.
Cute.
"Ciao, tesoro," Cameo said, stopping for a heavy kiss that made me sink straight into his arms.
"Hi," I whispered breathlessly.
"What’re you doing? If you’re going to bed, I'm game."
"Not yet," I said with a smile. "I upset Joon, so I'm going to talk to him."
“Boring,” the alpha complained, tilting his head at me. "Why’re you worried about something silly like that?"
"'Cause I care about him?"
Cameo’s cool gaze assessed me for several long moments before he let out a long sigh. "I see. Carry on, I'm going downstairs."
"Okay, just watch out. Indi and Marcus are a bit… tense."
"Oh, are they fighting again?" Cameo asked, his tone cheerful. "Dessert and a show."
He quickly pecked my temple, a little bounce in the alpha's step as he headed downstairs, calling, “Are we hitting each other?”
I shook my head at his antics, continuing down the hall. Joon and Indigo’s bedroom was empty, leaving only one other place that the omega would’ve gone to sulk.
At the end of the hall, the door to Joon’s nest was shut, and there didn’t need to be a sign that said ‘caution, moody omega!’ for me to get the message to leave them alone. But I didn’t care about that one bit.
My omega needed me, and I was going to show up for them.
I knocked and waited. But there was nothing. So I knocked again. And again, nothing.
"Joon, can I come in?" I called.
The silence on the other side of the door was deafening.
"Come on, I just want to talk," I said, slight irritation seeping into my voice.
This time, I knocked a bit harder. "If you don't answer, I'm just going to come in."
I couldn't even hear the sound of footsteps on the other side.
"Fine, I warned you," I said, trying the doorknob; luckily, it clicked open. I pushed it open slowly, spotting Joon curled up on the cushions with his earbuds in and a drawing tablet in his hands.
It was clear he was locked in, lost in his own little world. His brows furrowed in irritation—or maybe concentration.
Was being nosy when I already knew he was pissed at me the best move? Probably not. But would that stop me? Also no.
I tiptoed closer to him, trying to catch a peek at what he was working on, but it was really hard to make out.
Joon had zoomed into a spot with a lot of lines, so I couldn't see what it was that well. There was a lot of red. Cherries maybe?
I tried to lean a little closer, but it was a mistake. I overbalanced and had to catch myself on the cushions, making Joon look up at me.
"Can I help you?" he asked, pulling out his earbud.
The part of me that was still scared of getting in trouble clinched at the harshness of his tone, but I tried to remember what Indi said. "I wanted to say sorry for upsetting you."
"Who said I was upset?" he asked, eyes turning back to the tablet dismissively.
"Your face, mostly."
Realistically, we both knew that stomping up the stairs after storming out was more than enough evidence that he’d been upset… But pointing that out probably wouldn’t have done me any favours, so I didn’t bother.
His face contorted slightly. I wasn't entirely sure why at first, since the expression was difficult to read, but then it hit me. He was trying not to laugh.
"Fair enough," he got out stiffly, still holding it in.
Something moved on his shirt, and I jumped, assuming it was a bug.
But luckily, it was just a little pink noodle clinging to the omega’s chest.
"Didn't you lose Potato by forgetting her while you were drawing?" I asked, moving to sit beside him in the nest.
It was really sweet in here, a mattress bigger than a king stretching most of the room, lifted by a frame that it was built to be flush with. Pillows and blankets everywhere, making the space feel cozy, drenched with the scent of our alphas.
His alphas, I corrected myself.
"That's why I keep her on me now," Joon explained. "Can't lose her if she's there."
"Fair enough, she probably likes the heat too. Can I hold her?"
"If you want."
Joon was careful lifting her off his body with two hands.
I outstretched my own, trying to mimic his position, and he gently handed her off.
Her scales were smooth against my skin, glistening in the twinkle of the warm fairylights strung along the beam overhead.
She was pretty docile, slithering around lazily until she looped up and around my arm, squeezing it just a bit.
"Is she a constrictor?" I asked, a little nervous.
"I don't know," Joon mumbled. "You'd have to ask Indi."
"I will."
I couldn't stop looking at her, and for a moment, it felt like she was looking at me too. She turned towards me and stuck out her tongue, flicking it at me.
"So cute," I said, more to her than Joon.
When I glanced back up, he was watching me, fondness in his dark, mono-lidded eyes. "She is," he agreed, the irritation in his tone melting away.
I swallowed.
"Listen, I really didn't mean to upset you earlier, and whatever I did, tell me, and I won't do it again."
He sighed, twirling his stylus in his fingers. "You didn't do anything, Eva."
"I didn't? ‘Cause it sure felt like I did."
"It's not you. It's just… all of it. Okay?"
"The contract?" I guessed with a frown.
"Maybe," he said. "You're just… you obviously fit in. You know?"
My brow furrowed. "What do you mean? You don't like that I get along with everyone?"
“No,” he grunted irritably. "That's not what I mean either."
I tried to keep my voice even, but it was harder than I thought. "Okay… then, can you tell me what you mean?"
"I mean…” he started slowly. “You just do this so effortlessly. Fit in with the pack without having to try. They just… accepted you like it was nothing. Because you're the perfect omega. Not to mention you’re obviously scent-matched with—"
"I'm definitely not the perfect omega," I interrupted, making a face. "And of course they accepted me easily! We have a contract. I'm giving them something they want."
"It's more than that, and we both know it." Joon sighed, running a hand through their dark hair, making it stand on end.
My face felt warm. "As far as I know, it's not. I'm having this baby and then… disappearing from your lives after the contractually obligated breastfeeding period."
"I don't think so," he countered. "But even if it's not you, it’ll be someone. I know they'll find an omega who wants a bond and leave me behind. Go be a proper pack.”
I tried to choose my words carefully, but since I generally held all of the nuance of a bull in a china shop, I blew straight through the question anyway. "I heard that you weren't interested in bonding. Will you tell me why?"
The indecision on his face was obvious, old scars rising to the surface. "Has anyone ever told you what happens when you break a bond?"
I shook my head. "As far as I knew, you couldn’t. I mean, you see it in TV and movies, but like… that’s fiction, right?”
"Oh, it’s very real," he said bitterly, his stylus abandoned on the cushion beside him to rub at the butterfly tattoo on his forearm. "And it hurts. It's… the most painful thing that can happen to someone. And I can't do it."
Understanding dawned, leaving me blinking. I didn’t really need the confirmation, but my stupid mouth moved to ask the question anyway.
"Can't do it, or can't do it again?"
"Again," he whispered, his eyes on his knees.
I swallowed.
Suddenly, Joon’s hesitance to bond with the pack made a whole lot of sense.
“I’m assuming they don’t know?”
He shook his head. "And I’d appreciate it if you kept my secret. I will, I'm just… not ready yet."
"I’ll take it to the grave," I promised.
He nodded. "I should put Potato back."
"Of course," I said, offering her to him. The conversation had gotten so intense that I had forgotten she was in my hands.
Joon took a deep breath, setting his tablet aside and crawling out of the nest to take the snake.
I watched him disappear into his room with her, wondering if that was the end of our conversation. But it wasn’t long until Joon came back, shutting the door to the nest and climbing back in with me.
"It's why I have this tattoo, you know,” Joon said as he adjusted some of the blankets.
I knew self-soothing behaviours when I saw them, especially when it came to omegas, so I left him to it, even if I kind of wished that he would come to cuddle while we talked instead. It wouldn’t stop the pain that he went through, but it would make him feel better. Maybe.
"Which one?"
He turned so I could see the butterfly on his arm. "I think it's ugly."
Seeming to be satisfied with his adjustments, he settled beside me, and I examined the design more closely. "I don’t think so," I said, a finger tracking along the black-tipped wing. “It’s pretty.”
Joon swallowed. "He… the alpha bit my arm right there. And when the bond was broken, the scar remained. So I went to the tattoo shop as soon as I could and picked a random flash to put over it."
"I see," I said noncommittally, mostly so that he knew I was listening.
"I don't know why I'm telling you all of this."