28. Kiaran
Kiaran
A melie bobbed lifelessly in my arms as I trudged back toward the cottage.
I’d sent silent prayers up to Frea hoping she could somehow help make her weightless because this was more physical activity than I had done my entire life.
I felt my bones growing tired and my lungs burned as I tried to suck in enough air to sustain myself.
The colors that swirled between Amelie and I were fading and I couldn’t tell if it was because of me or her.
Pain seared through the muscles in my arms, my thighs burned with each step, and the arches of my feet stung as I continued to find each jagged rock on the path.
I’d tried right away to use my magic, but I was too far from the cottage’s veil to muster enough for the both of us.
If I was my old self, I’d have given up right here and now.
I’d set Amelie down and leave her on the Forest floor and move on with my life.
Take the consequences of not fulfilling the ritual on Winter Solstice, because this life really never mattered much anyways.
When I was young, I listened to stories of good and evil.
I wanted so badly to have a story told about me that would make children want to be better, do better.
Strive for greatness and hone their magic so they could make a positive impact on the world.
Where the fuck I went wrong was beyond me.
But I wasn’t myself anymore, I was new. A version I didn’t know was resting beneath all the darkness.
I’d wondered a lot over the last few months though if I was ever really bad.
I made mistakes, of course, but when I went to sleep at night I wasn’t dreaming of setting the world on fire just to watch it burn.
The High Priestess took every chance she had to punish me, to berate me in front of my peers, tell me that I was disgracing the powerful McCalmont name.
She forced my hand then punished me for failing. The same magic she told me I was too stupid to use correctly, she ordered me to use then sent me away for it.
So no, I wasn’t my old self anymore.
I wouldn’t leave Amelie here and serve only myself. The woman cradled in my arms called me out the moment she met me. She thought I was an Angel. Of death, of course, but that was neither here nor there.
When I first met her eyes, she didn’t see darkness or evil.
It was the first thing I loved about her.
She shined on the thick exterior I’d built to protect myself from people telling me I wasn’t good enough, powerful enough.
Amelie made me soft and though anatomically my heart had always been beating, I was sure it didn’t beat for any good reason until it met her.
It only thumped along because it had to, much like I did with living.
It was just what I was meant to do, though it served no purpose, until her.
I felt the tether to Orla pulling me closer and closer to our home. Something that wasn’t there earlier. Wherever, however, Orla left–she was back. Warm light bled from the tiny openings through the Forest and it was all I needed to pick up my pace.
The buzzing around the pond grew louder and louder, its usual welcoming melody felt more like a warning tonight.
Amelie’s frog friends croaked long, low sounds from their throats.
The bugs could be heard all over but were nowhere in sight.
I felt thousands of eyes on me and Amelie as we stepped into the clearing.
Thunder boomed through my chest. Something wasn’t right.
Whatever Amelie was tethered to right now couldn’t be here or was hiding.
Otherwise she’d be showing some kind of life.
Her breathing should’ve picked up by now, the gold in her eyes should have been glaring already, but there was nothing.
I paused before the bridge and stared down at my girl.
Our colors were the lightest pastel I’d ever seen them, they were holding on to every particle of color they still had but it wasn’t near as breathtaking.
Her tether to life was coming dangerously close to taking her from me all together.
The thought of it alone made me consider ending it for both of us now.
What if she enacted some kind of veil like Evari had and she’d never come to life again?
I couldn’t wander the Forest like Niklaus and Josef for the rest of time without her.
I took in a deep breath and started over the bridge, laughter filled the inside of the cottage but it wasn’t the kind that I shared with Amelie’s grandfathers or the kind Amelie shared with Ethel.
It was malevolent. A cackle into the wind that would’ve sent a shiver down the spine of anyone unfortunate enough to hear it.
At the door, I felt a tremble in the walls.
An innately human characteristic of fear, Orla was scared.
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t frightened too.
She knew Amelie and I were home, so she melted into us, searching for protection.
Orla had protected me, cared for me in her own way, veiled the High Priestess’ magic so I could find our girl.
I would protect both of the women before me until the very last beat of my heart.
Orla cracked the door for me. I took a reluctant step in and the laughter turned to short breaths, then silence. The High Priestess of Avonya sat at the head of the long oak table, two others sat with their backs to us, faces covered in their High Table garb.
The woman who ruled my realm rolled her shoulders back, straightened her spine and tipped her chin up to me in a domineering fashion.
My breath shook at the vision of the woman who sent me away and fated me with a curse that was far worse than the pain I’d caused.
My nostrils flared and my eyes blinked unevenly, it felt as though I might pass out but I couldn’t do that safely with Amelie in my arms.
I gave my Coven’s leader a curt nod before going to the sitting room with Amelie and laying her across the couch. Pressing my ear to her heart, I could still hear a faint beat but it was softer than it had been during any dangerous magic she’d done before.
I couldn’t do anything for her with our guests in this home so I stroked her cheek gently, checking once more for any trace of light in her eyes. But they were empty. I hesitated before getting to my feet to meet the Coven members at the table.
Three long strides and I stood before the woman who cursed me, then I took a bow of respect. She was clad in her traditional gown and Coven cloak, the headdress that indicated her place in the hierarchy of the Coven sat atop her head like a badge of honor.
Standing back to full attention, my chest heaved in and out with deep breaths but I managed to take one good one, letting out a steadying exhale before addressing her.
“What are you doing here?”
“Hello, dear,” she replied with a sinister grin. “It’s been a long time. How are you?”
She was steady as a rock, eyes of determination and a ferocity that had me feeling the opposite.
“What the fuck are you doing here?”
“We won’t be here long.” She stood from the table and relaxed her hip against it.
“There are just a few things to remember as your final ritual approaches. One, you will perform it exactly as you were taught. Two, if your little Morgenstern girl interferes with the fates we have set and succeeds, you both will be punished. She was never supposed to awaken that unnatural magic.”
“Probably shouldn’t have sent her to the very Forest it idled in then,” I bit back. My shaky breath could be heard around the room. “If you believe for a second that I would hurt her, you are sorely mistaken.”
Taking a step to close the distance between us, she reached up and ran her knuckles down my cheek. I tried to shake her touch off but she won by grabbing the sides of my chin between her thumb and fingers and holding on tight.
“It was all in the fates, my dear. A life for a life.”
I felt my cheeks heat and my stomach roll, I wanted to kill her. I wanted to end her.
“Then you’ll take mine. But you will not use my curse as a way to fulfill a centuries old agenda toward the Morgenstern women.”
Finally letting me go, I stepped back from her and it took everything I had not to fight back. The High Priestess cackled at my assertion.
“Oh…” She tried to catch her breath, the louder she laughed the more my blood raged. “Dear, you are too humorous. This was all in the stars, you’ve never had a say in what I destined for the two of you.”
I stared at the back of one of the heads I knew was sitting at the table, praying to Amelie’s God that she would fucking say something.
“I love her. More than I’ve ever loved anything.” I dangerously admitted. It was leverage but I was out of options.
“No, she’s just the only person who’s ever cared about you.
” A gross smile spread across the High Priestess’ face.
“She’ll never truly love you. She’s grown up in ruin, I made sure of it.
Each unholy touch was meant to make yours feel sweeter, each hungry day, her father passing, the constant pleas to her God to let her die, all of it was written in the stars.
I wanted her to believe that finding you was the best thing that ever happened to her.
But do not be mistaken, my dear, no one could love you . ”
I swore I could feel my heart stop for a moment.
Amelie’s upbringing being a wicked game to the High Priestess, to steer her to me and believe that a cursed Witch was the best it would ever be for her, it sickened me.
Because it was true. I knew I didn’t deserve her, but the woman who cursed me just confirmed all the things I tried not to believe about myself.
The fact that Amelie had never told me she loved me back, all of it was too much.
The room spun as the High Table started for the door.
Then, in the window above the sink, a little winged creature landed so softly that no one but me knew she was there.
Naida was eavesdropping. A terribly bold thing for the anxious little Fae to do.
Her bright blue eyes were piercing into the High Priestess, and for a moment I believed that the feeling I had the other night when she smiled at me was more than just a feeling. But it was impossible, right?
“We will see you in four days.” One of the Coven members said under their veil. It was a voice I recognized all too well.
“What?”
“You didn’t think we’d trust you to complete your ritual honorably, did you?” The High Priestess laughed as she gave me her back and strode out the front door.
I followed after them, “I–” but when I stepped out of the door, they were gone. A force pushed me back inside and the door slammed shut, the lights flickered rapidly. Orla was scared.
How did they get in here? Orla would’ve veiled herself, kept the doors locked .
“Are you okay?” I asked the spirit in the home.
Her warm lights that surrounded the cottage slowly dimmed and brightened.
“Don’t let them in here without me again.”
There was no response this time.