Fallon
I was never able to fall back asleep. After holding a terrified Harper until she finally fell asleep, I shed silent tears for the rest of the night as I physically felt my heart breaking. Again.
We’re over. There’s no coming back from this. There’s no coming back from the way he spoke to me and the way he acted in front of my daughter.
Pain eviscerates me, but then a wave of anger takes over.
Not at him, at myself. I was willing to again put aside my own needs for a man.
I was willing to give up my dream of having more children because I thought we shared an unbreakable, once-in-a-lifetime, storybook kind of love. What a crock of shit. I’m such a fool.
I notice my phone light up on my nightstand. Seeing that it’s Kennedy, I slide my arms out from under Harper, grab the phone, and tiptoe into my bathroom.
After I carefully close the door, I quietly answer, “Hey.”
“Hi. You were right. He was out of his mind drunk and started punching Daylen. I got there in time to calm things down a bit. We all sat down and talked about it. I’m not going to say all is good, but the truth is out, and I’m hopeful we’re headed in the right direction.”
“I’m happy to hear it,” I offer sincerely. If nothing else, Kennedy needs this.
“He…umm…mentioned that you two aren’t seeing each other anymore. What happened?”
I shake my head as a fresh set of tears blur my vision. “I’m not putting you in the middle, sweetie. Your father said and did some things last night that can’t be undone. If there’s one thing he and I agree on, it’s that we’re over.”
I hear her sniffle. “No, I don’t believe that. I’ve seen you two together. You’re the real deal. You’re in love.”
“Love wasn’t enough this time.”
I’m not enough.
“When he sobers up, you’ll talk this through. He’s home sleeping it off now.”
It’s too late.
Because timing isn’t my friend lately, the phone rings again as soon as I hang up with Kennedy. It’s Tanner, and I answer. “Hey, Tan. Everything okay?”
“She’s in labor.”
“Oh shit. Is she okay?”
“I don’t know,” his worried voice shakes. “She’s screaming a lot more than you did.”
“Each delivery is different. And she’s got two of them in there. It hurts like a motherfucker. It’s normal to scream. Where are you?”
“We just got to the hospital. They took her back to get her hooked up to machines. I’m finishing up the paperwork. Can you—”
“Yep,” I interrupt, “we’re on our way. I’ll let the school know Harper won’t be in. She’s got time. She won’t miss it.”
Harper desperately wants to be there for the birth of her sisters. She’s become a little obsessed with seeing their first breath, reading something about the miracle of it.
Given the hard night Harper’s had, this might be a nice distraction for her. Something happy to refocus her attention.
I walk back into my bedroom and kiss her forehead while giving her arm a small shake. “Sweetie, wake up.”
Her eyes blink open. “Mommy?”
I put on the happiest face I can muster. “Yes, baby. It’s me. Guess what? The babies are coming. You’re going to be a big sister today. We need to get to the hospital.”
She shoots straight up with excitement. Like Bailey, she’s had a suitcase prepared for weeks, and she takes it with her everywhere, just in case. It’s kind of adorable how she felt she needed one too, as if she’d be sleeping there.
We arrive at the hospital just in time for her to see Lorelei and Aurora “Rory” Montgomery be born. It was a shockingly quick delivery, and I’m relieved Harper made it in time. She would have been upset if she didn’t.
The babies are perfect and gorgeous, just like their parents. Unlike Harper when she was born, they’ve got darker hair, and a lot of it.
Harper can’t stop staring at her little sisters with wonderment. I take a million photos of them as a new family of five.
I have to step out at some point and hide in a hospital closet to bawl my eyes out. I’ll never be able to give her this.