Epilogue #2
I swallowed a lump in my throat, imagining fifteen years back if I’d been able to reach out and hear an NHL player on the other end of the line tell me I was okay, exactly the way I was. “Yeah, it is.”
At that moment, a couple of the teens who seemed to be Coach Nery’s kids and their friends came over, flushed and excited, to talk to Miles.
He teased them about being into football when their dad was a hockey coach, and one of them said with dignity, “It’s possible to like more than one sport,” then looked away from Miles with his size and his arms in that sleeveless shirt, and flushed. I wondered, just a little.
Not my circus, not my teen monkeys.
Casey, Will, and I wandered to hang out with my teammates for a bit.
Then Scott and Rusty said they had to head out.
Playoffs started for them in two days, and they needed to eat right and rest up.
“Burgers, fries, and beer look too damned tempting,” Scott said.
“The team nutritionist would kill me if I pig out now.”
As we followed them into the side yard toward the street, Rusty said, “Text me Miles’s address. Hopefully we’ll be doing that dinner in late June.” He grinned, since that was after the end of the Cup finals. Only two teams would be busy that late into the season.
I grinned back. “We’ll be cheering for you guys. Miles bought tickets for all the home games.”
“Cool.” Edzie held out his fist for a bump. “Touch base with Rusty after a win, and we can bring you down to the locker room to meet the guys.”
I probably wouldn’t do that— the last thing they needed, even after a win, was a distraction— but it was cool to be invited.
Miles hugged me against him as we stood beside the house and watched the four men leave. “They’re good guys. I’m glad. Being queer’s no guarantee someone’s not an asshole.”
“I’m aware.” I’d met a few.
“We, on the other hand, are allowed to eat all the burgers and fries we want,” he continued. “Or as many as your scavenging team leaves us.”
“Hey, in the ECHL, we’re all about the free food.” I didn’t turn back to the party, though. “Did you ever think we’d be here?”
“Be here, what?”
“Just here, like this. You with your arm around me at a party at my coach’s house.”
“Well, if it was Coach Frazier’s house, we wouldn’t be.”
I snorted and murmured, “He’s such a tight-ass.
” A better coach these days, as he slowly adapted to the lower level he was coaching, but not a warm guy.
“Thank God for Nery.” None of us players had a big house where we could hold a party like this.
Well, other than me and Miles, but some of the guys might not have come to the gay guys’ place, and this was supposed to be a team event.
Nery had offered up his backyard without hesitation.
“But no.” I leaned my head on Miles’s shoulder. “Like, in general. Around all the guys and the teenagers and the coach, or here, thirty feet from the street where anyone can see. Back when I started pro hockey, I thought this was a dream I’d have to put off till I retired.”
“Is that a reason you’re not retiring?” Miles asked. The team had offered me a one-year contract, and I’d signed it, despite how battered my body felt by the end of the season. “To prove you can have it all?”
“No. Well, maybe a tiny bit. I like being the ‘active out gay player’ now I’ve made that move, but also, I’m not done with hockey.
I’m having fun now, mentoring the rookies, playing my best without expecting the Tornados to suddenly want me after all.
I feel like I can have a good last season, no drama, and then retire on a high note. ”
“I’m with you, whatever you choose,” Miles said.
I appreciated that, since he fretted about permanent damage to my knee and missed me when we were on the road.
“I know.” I turned to him and pulled him down for a soft kiss.
Simple and dry, since we were in my coach’s side yard in view of the street.
But still a kiss with all my heart in it.
“I love doing this with you. I love you.” I didn’t say that often, but I meant it more every single time.
“Love you too.” Miles stroked my lower lip with his thumb and stared into my eyes. His wide palm cradled my cheek.
I leaned into his hand. “I’m still sorry I fucked us up, back when we were on the brink the first time.”
“No more sorries.” Miles kissed me again. “We’re right where we’re supposed to be.”
Bubs’s voice came from behind me. “Coach’s yard? I could debate that. I came to tell you the burgers are going fast and you should grab yours. But maybe you want to grab a room instead.”
I laughed and turned. “I’m going to fucking miss you when you move up to the Tornados.”
Bubs made the sign of the cross with his fingers, like he was warding off vampires. “Don’t jinx it. Anyhow, Corky’s showing some promise. Maybe they’ll have you mentor him like you did Stacker and me, old man.”
“I never fucking mentored you.” I mock-glared at Bubs. “You’re my friend.”
“Yep. And as your friend, I’m telling you to come get your burgers as soon as you’re done sucking face with your boyfriend.” Bubs stomped off around the house.
Miles laughed and draped his arm across my shoulders. “To answer your question, back when I was also a twenty-year-old queer player in training camp my rookie season, I never thought I’d get a life with someone like you.”
I tilted my head to look up at him, squinting because the sun was in my eyes. “Good thing we had crappy imaginations, I guess.”
“Good thing we proved them wrong.” Miles kissed my hair and swung me around. “Now come on. Edzie and Rusty may be sticking to the performance diet, but you are too fucking thin. I want to see you eat a whole mess of burgers and carbs. I’ll fight anyone who tries to take your share.”
“My hero.” I put a hand to my heart and fake-swooned. “Always getting me the good stuff.”
“Anything you want, any time you want, whatever I can,” Miles agreed.
You, I thought. All I really need is you. But I grabbed Miles’s hand and tugged him toward the backyard. “Come on, I want to see you wrestle Nikki for the last burger.”
As we rounded the corner and came into view, a couple of the guys waved us toward the grill. Bubs made a kissy-face and grinned at us. Yagger glared and turned his back.
I hauled my boyfriend toward the table laden with food, there in the bright April sunshine with my team, good, bad, and indifferent, around us.
The breeze brought the scent of charcoal and burgers to my nose.
Over to the left, I heard two rookies laughing as they kicked a soccer ball between them, and Miles’s hand was warm and strong in my own.
There was nowhere else in the world I’d rather be.
#### thank you for reading Logan and Miles’s story ####