Chapter Thirty-Five #3
“I don’t mind,” I said. Although I did, a little, but only because of Macon’s presence. Yet I also wanted him to hear my response. “Cory wants children. I don’t. It’s one of the reasons why we broke up.”
“Oh,” Bex said, “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. There were many reasons. And we’re both happy with our choices.”
“We’re considering adoption,” Mika said quietly.
Bex shied but took Mika’s hand. They gazed at each other with so much love that it hurt my heart. “You’d be great parents,” I said.
Macon’s preference was the only one left unstated, and once again, it felt paramount to steer the conversation away from the topic. I started to ask Reza a question about Amira when Macon spoke up unexpectedly. “I’ve never been interested in having children either.”
His eyes were on Reza, but he was talking to me. He wanted me to know.
I sat very still.
“My relationship with my college girlfriend ended because of that,” he said.
“Oh,” I said. I hadn’t given much consideration to his girlfriends before Dani, although I knew there’d been two previous serious relationships: one in high school and one in college.
Around the time he and Dani had broken up, in one of his darker moods, he’d referred to himself as a serial monogamist.
Another delicate silence descended, thankfully broken by Brittany’s loud reappearance. She was still zipping up the top of her jumpsuit. “Who wants cake?”
Somehow, Reza had managed to find enough time to bake an elaborate dessert: three layers of airy lemon cake with tart raspberry jam between each and a gorgeous ring of whole raspberries on top. “It’s more summery than autumnal,” he said, “but lemon seemed cheerful. Like you.”
He hadn’t witnessed a shred of my cheerfulness that year, so it felt good to hear that he still thought of me that way. I couldn’t help but glance at Macon. He nodded in agreement.
“Lemon cake is my favorite,” I said to Reza.
Brittany slapped a hand against the side of her head. “We forgot candles.”
“This is perfect,” I said. “Just as it is.”
“Blow out the tapers,” Bex said, and the others agreed. And who was I to turn down a wish? They placed the candlesticks before me, and I closed my eyes. Surrounded by love, I felt my fears about the future dissolve. I wished for my friends to all have a good year.
We devoured the cake, the conversation moved along to safer topics, and everybody helped clean up. When Brittany and Reza began sagging against each other, I steered the party toward the door.
And then Macon surprised me again.
He hugged me goodbye.
It was the first time he’d purposefully touched me since the shove in his car, the first time he’d hugged me since I was crying in his house.
The contact was so charged I nearly whimpered.
Breathing in his familiar and comforting scent, I clung to his back tightly and for longer than I normally would have.
His heartbeat quickened against my chest.
“Happy birthday,” he said, voice so low and close that it resonated through me.
He started to pull away, then changed his mind and kissed my cheek. It was the way that any friend would kiss another friend’s cheek, except my knees weakened. And then he stepped away from me so quickly that his stubble scratched my skin.
I was frozen and speechless.
“It was nice to meet you,” he said with a wave to Brittany and Reza.
“Oh, Ingrid, I forgot,” Reza said, wide awake again. “Brit wanted to show you Amira’s room. Thanks for coming, Macon!” He slammed the door closed behind him.
My four friends stared at me.
“Why isn’t that happening?” Bex asked.
“I can’t believe you two aren’t fucking,” Brittany said. Her eyes widened. “Are you fucking?”
“No!” My voice lowered in case he could still hear us. “And I don’t know why it’s not happening. I would very much like for it to happen.”
Brittany, Reza, and Bex all hooted.
I turned to Mika for guidance, but she shook her head. “It doesn’t make sense to me either. It’s been clear since the day I met him that he’s into you.”
“Yeah,” Brittany said, “I used to hate him for turning you down, but I like the guy I met tonight. You should try again.”
Bex wheeled on me. “What does she mean, ‘turning you down’?”
“You don’t know?” Reza looked excited.
“You just told me you had a crush!” Now even Mika was getting worked up. “You didn’t tell me you’d tried to hook up with him.”
“I tried to kiss him, and he emphatically said no.”
“When was this?” she asked.
“January,” Reza said. “We drove her around afterward trying to hook her up with somebody else.”
“That didn’t work either,” Brittany said.
“Happy birthday, Ingrid,” I said. “Let’s talk about the most humiliating night of your life.”
“Well, whatever was holding him back,” Brittany said, “it’s gone now.”
“He literally just kissed you,” Reza said.
“Ten months later and on the cheek,” I said.
Everyone jumped to argue about whether that counted as a move, and then Mika said simply, “He’s shy.”
We all stopped.
“That’s it.” Bex’s hands dropped to their hips. “I think that’s actually it.”
“But we’ve been friends for years ,” I said.
“Yeah, but isn’t that what makes it scary for you, too?” Mika said. “That you’re afraid you’ll ruin what you already have?”
“I did try. More than once. Sort of.”
“No,” Brittany said. “He’s a shy librarian, and you’re a badass businesswoman, and that means you’re going to have to make the first move—again.”