Chapter Three
RAYNE
She’s beautiful. God damn it.
I brought her to our own private therapy room on the third floor.
She hasn’t looked at me since we were in her bedroom.
I love her chocolate colored eyes; there’s a fire in them.
It’s dim, but I want to make it roar again before she leaves here.
The room is completely empty. I figured we would add things that make her feel comfortable and safe.
Not recreate a space she is used to, but create a new one.
She’s standing in the middle of the room, her hands are clasped in front of her, and her head is down. Her dark curls cascade over her shoulders and the sides of her face. I wish she would at least say something. We need to build trust between us, so I’ll do all the talking first if I have to.
“Do you know why I brought you to an empty room?”
No answer.
“I want you to decide what goes in here. To be in full control of what we do, what you learn, and how you want to live when you leave here.”
No response. Not even a twitch. She’s as still as a statue, but I know she is reading my every move. She is aware of every breath I take. She’s used to being hyper aware of everything, and I need to be cautious of that.
“Shay, what should we start with?” She shrugs her shoulders, but doesn’t say anything.
“What’s your favorite color?” That should be a simple answer, but I know it’ll be like pulling teeth to get it out of her.
I wait a moment before I hear her little voice whisper red from across the room. I’m so surprised I think I’m hearing things, and she didn’t really say it, but she looks up and says it again.
Louder.
“Red.”
“I like that color, too. Let’s do this. Use the word red whenever you want to stop doing something with me. Anything that makes you uncomfortable, uneasy, afraid. Say red, and I’ll immediately stop whatever we are doing. I promise.”
She finally looks up and nods.
“Can you use your words? Please? I want to make sure we can communicate clearly. I can’t read your mind, Shay. So you need to be open to telling me how you feel, and what you want to make this work.”
“Yes, I understand.”
“Thank you. Now, what’s the first thing we should put in here? What would you like your room to look like?” She looks around the empty room, her beautiful brown eyes focusing on one corner.
“A couch. There,” she points towards the corner near the window. “I used to always enjoy lying on the couch with…him.”
“Was that a safe place? Somewhere you could relax and be yourself?”
She nods.
“Should we make this room look more like a living room, then? Do you like to read? Watching TV? What do you like to do, Shay?”
She cocks her head to the side, her eyes shift downward, and her mouth opens slightly. She’s thinking, but doesn’t know what to say. I want to figure out what she did with her free time, but I don’t want to bring up too many memories that might be painful.
My job is to acclimate her to being on her own; make her own decisions. Own herself.
“Why don’t we go to my room and write some things down? I can have maintenance put some things in here, and we can arrange them together if you’d like. This will be our personal training room. No one else will be in here with us, so I want to make this a safe space for you.”
“Okay.”
“Let’s grab some dinner first, then we can go to my room for a little while before bedtime. Are you hungry?”
“A little?”
I smile. “Better than nothing. Eat three meals a day. That’s rule 1 with me. Understood?”
“Do you understand, Shay?” I make my voice stern, and she looks up at me.
“Yes, I understand.” She whispers.
I have to go slow with her, but we only have 6 weeks together. I don’t think that’ll be enough time. In a week, I’ll talk to Tabitha again and see what I can do. Until then, I have to put some more rules in and not be afraid to enforce them.
Shay Clarke is going to leave here a confident woman. I’ll make sure of it.