Chapter Three
The next day I get up and make my bed out of habit. Changing out of my sleep clothes, I pull on a pair of blue-jean shorts and a black tee shirt that has a sun and moon on it before pulling on a super-light flannel sweater and my Converse shoes.
Sitting down at my desk, I take out my notebook and a pen, starting my list of things that I still need. The list is pretty long by the time that I'm done. It seems I only scratched the surface of everything yesterday. I'll have to go back to the department store, obviously, but I've also got to go to the bookstore here on campus. I'm not surprised to find that a lot of the teachers haven't switched everything over to go completely digital. We absolutely weren't digital on the compound. Our school books were from the 80s and had seen better days, for sure. So, not having to jump straight into trying to learn how all of the things work online is a small victory. I know I'll have to eventually, but that small transition window will help.
Packing up my notebook and making sure all of my papers and keys are still in my bag, I heft it over my back and head out. First stop is breakfast, where I eat my fill of eggs, sausage, and pancakes. Another small victory...no, big victory, because I think I'd die happy if this were my last breakfast. We had breakfast on the compound, but it wasn't anything like this. Like most of the food, it was all very bland and didn't really have much of a taste. Oh, and we definitely didn't have syrup that tasted like it does here. It's awfully tempting just to drink the warm, sweet liquid.
With my belly full to bursting, I head over to the campus bookstore. My registry information included the books that I'd need for all of my classes, and I had stuffed that into the side pocket of my bag before I left breakfast. Taking it out, I give it another look over as I walk around the store.
I've already found three of the books that I'll need before a guy comes over and asks if I need any help.
"Not at the moment," I tell him. When he goes to walk away, I say, "Actually, maybe you can help. I need to buy a new laptop. Would it be better to buy it here or off campus?"
"Cheaper and better here for sure," he offers. "We've got the newest MacBook here and you get your student discount which saves you forty percent on them."
"I don't want to spend a lot of money on one," I say honestly. "I don't need the newest one."
He nods quickly in understanding with a smile. "Yeah, of course. We've got a bunch that are older versions, but still just as good. They're a lot cheaper, and you still get your discount, too."
"Awesome," I reply, returning his smile.
His breath catches for a second. I don't even think he realizes that it's as loud as it is. Stumbling a bit over his words, he finally gets out, "I'll meet you over at the computers when you get done."
I watch him walk away and can't help but think he's cute in a nerdy kind of way. His leathery scent isn't super strong to me, which means he's probably a beta. Nothing like the sensation of the run-in with the alpha last night, but he's still cute.
An hour later, I'm leaving with all of the books I'll need and a new laptop that hurt my stomach to buy, spending so much on it. Plus, I got a couple NFU tee shirts and a navy-blue sweatshirt with a wolverine logo. I think about how I need to update my list and keep a tally of everything I've spent. I want to keep money on that card just in case things take a turn for the bad. Honestly, it'd help to get a job, but I don't know how much time I'm going to have around classes and volleyball. I'll need a couple weeks, if not more, to figure out what kind of time restraint I'll be on.
Stopping by the dorm, I drop off my purchases before heading back out again. I want to get all of my stuff done before the sun even thinks about setting today. I don't want to get stuck out after dark again.
Even if it means you might run into that alpha again? the little voice inside my head asks, giving me butterflies at the thought. Having no one to talk to, it's easy to overthink every single, tiny detail of everything. I've managed to think a lot on what I'd do if I ran into him again. Possibly even ask him to lunch or something. If I'm not too much of a chicken if the opportunity presents itself again.
When I pass the restaurant, I can't help but glance inside to see if he's there, but it seems that no one is. It must be too early for them to open. Won't lie and say it doesn't make my steps a little heavier. I've built myself up and talked myself into it, only to be thwarted by living in a dream world. I need to remember to treat it all like what happened with my volleyball scholarship. If you want something, you've got to reach out and take it in that moment. For the next, it might be gone.
Still having hours and nothing better to do, I take my time in the department store. I pick out two new workout outfits and some tennis shoes, along with a water bottle and a few other necessities. Going over to cleaning supplies, I move to the laundry detergent. Again, the only thing we used on the compound was stuff we made ourselves, and the options here seem to be limitless. It's more than a little overwhelming.
"Excuse me," a voice says from behind me.
I scoot my cart off to the side and pretend that I'm not totally lost as the man passes. Glancing up at his back, I can't help but notice how tall he is. His jeans are hugging his long legs and bum in all the right places to make people like me look twice. As if that weren't enough, his shirt is tight, too, clinging to his muscled arms and shoulders.
He turns to look at me as he grabs something off the shelf, and I give my head a jerk, trying to be inconspicuous in my perusal of him. I can see him still watching me out of the corner of my eye, so I grab the first thing I can and pretend to read the package.
His boots and jean-covered legs are the first thing I see as he approaches me, "You look lost."
Glancing up and up at his face is a big mistake. When I say the man is gorgeous, I mean stunningly so. His brown hair fans around his face, matching the color of his eyes and the stubble covering his jaw. As if looks weren't enough, he just has to go and smell good, too. Like warm vanilla with a touch of honey, and it's not super strong like an alpha, so he must be a beta.
My face goes hot as we stand there in a silent standoff while he waits on me to stop being awkward and say something. It's the only reason why I blurt the truth. "I've never used any of this stuff before, and I'm going to need clean laundry at some point. I don't know what I'm doing."
He doesn't laugh like I expect. Quite the contrary. He points to the container I'm holding, "I wouldn't go with what you've got there unless you're wanting to add some white spots to your clothes, or worse."
Putting the bottle back on the shelf like it might burn me if I hold it any longer, I dust my hands off and run them down the sides of my shorts like I might've gotten some on me. "Thanks."
His lips turn up with a sexy smile before he walks me down the aisle, explaining the differences between most of the choices. Helping me settle on one of the little dissolvable packs in a green bag, he shares, "No shame in asking for help. You're not the first one. We've all got to start somewhere."
"You mean you haven't always been the laundry detergent guru?" I tease, flirting a bit and having no idea where it's coming from.
When he laughs, I feel it in my lower belly where I probably shouldn't be feeling it. Where it's a sin to be feeling it.
"How do you think I knew to tell you what not to use?" he asks, still beaming. "I accidentally turned one of my pack mate's favorite shirts pink using bleach."
I cover my mouth with my hand to hide my laugh. "Was he mad?"
He laughs again. "Nope. Even wore it once or twice just so I wouldn't feel bad about it. I didn't tell him, but that actually made me feel even worse."
"Oh, no," I say softly.
Shrugging, he simply says, "It's part of life. It won't ever be perfect, but that doesn't mean you can't be happy or make others around you happy."
"Like stopping to help clueless strangers in the detergent aisle," I state.
Keeping our gazes locked, he says, "Exactly that."
His stare is intense for a moment, making my heart race before he offers. "I'm Grady, by the way."
"Marnie," I tell him.
"Would you want to go to lunch with me?" he blurts out.
As soon as the words leave his lips, he's shaking his head at himself. "Sorry, I know that was forward. I'd just planned to go to lunch when I left here and thought it'd be nice to have some company."
I swallow hard, because I know what I should say. What I've been taught to say. My words from earlier come flashing back at me at high speed. Grab life while it's coming at you or risk it passing you by.
"Yeah, sure," I agree, surprising him.
Grinning, he says, "Great. Want to meet me over at O'Malley's down the road in about thirty minutes?"
"Okay, I should be done in here by then," I tell him.
Walking over to his cart, he turns around with a quick wave of his hand, "See you there."
I smile and return his wave awkwardly, wishing the ground would open up and suck me down into it as he leaves the aisle. As soon as he's out of sight, a stone drops in my stomach. What have I done? Have I lost my mind? Been here all of one day. One day of freedom in the real world, and I'm already salivating over two guys I've literally met in passing. That small voice in the back of my mind speaks up again and wonders if everything they teach us at the compound about the people here in the outside world is true.
Wandering through the store in search of the last few things on my list, I'm lost in my thoughts on autopilot grabbing things and marking them off the list. It isn't until I come to the very last thing that I try to gather my wits about me.
"Can I help you?" a short man asks gruffly as I stand staring at all the phones on display.
"Yes, please," I tell him. "I just need something for all the everyday basics."
"So, like emails, texts, calls, and...school...things?" he asks, dragging out the last bit like he's asking if I'm attending the university.
"Yes, exactly that," I say.
It takes roughly about ten minutes for him to talk me into the yearly plan with unlimited everything and a bunch of other things that I don't even know. He had me sold on the fact that if I pay a full year, which is like three hundred and sixty dollars, then I get one of the new iPhones for free.
Another ten and I've got my new phone in my back pocket and all of the other stuff paid for, which leaves me only ten to get back to the restaurant. When Grady had mentioned the name, that was another reason that stone had dropped. It was the same place I ran into the alpha last night. Shuffling my bags around until they're comfortable to carry, I make the trek back toward campus.
Making it to the restaurant, it's to see Grady leaning against a cherry-red car with no top on it. He's staring at a couple birds flitting around, playing in the tree that's already losing its leaves. When his head turns, he spots me, instantly smiling before frowning a bit.
"Did I not give you enough time?" he asks, walking over to meet me. "I can wait if you want to run those home first. Wait, where's your car?"
His frantic worrying is cute and it makes me snicker. "I don't have one. I'm staying at the dorms on campus. It's my first year."
Realization dawns on his face before he offers, "Here, you can stash all of that in my trunk if you want, and I can drive you the rest of the way after lunch."
I debate for a few seconds, biting my bottom lip. Trusting my instincts, I accept his offer, "Okay."
He pops open his trunk and slides his own bags from the store over to the side to make room for mine. I hand over all but my backpack. Making it all fit nice and neat, he shuts it and leads us back up to the sidewalk and over to the door. Using a key, he unlocks the door and motions for me to go in first. All of the lights are off, and I have half a second where I wonder if I've made a bad decision and something bad is going to happen to me. Just like they always said it would if we stepped foot off the compound.
Then the lights flicker on, and I turn to see Grady by the switch. He smiles as he catches me watching. "Didn't think I'd have us eating in the dark, did you?"
"Not exactly," I answer easily.
He laughs and it echoes around the space since there's no other people here for noise. Ushering us over to the table right in the middle of the restaurant, he pulls out my chair for me. "Sorry, I'd love for us to eat outside and enjoy the last bit of summer weather while we've got it, but the restaurant isn't open yet."
I take the offered seat. "Then how are we in here right now?"
"Helps when you know the head chef," he says, taking the seat across from me. "Speak of the devil."
"And he shall appear," a man's voice finishes behind me. "I thought I heard your laugh out here. Thought you were going to be here earlier, though."
As he comes around my side, and I get a good look at him, my breath catches in my throat. It's the guy from last night.
"I guess I can see why now, and you're forgiven," he says, speaking to Grady, but not looking away from me. He holds out a hand, which I take as he introduces himself. "Hi, there. I didn't catch your name last night. I'm Kinkaid."
"Marnie," I tell him, slipping my hand back into my lap.
His fingers flex before he drops his hand to his side. "What are the chances?"
"I was just thinking the same exact thing," I admit.
Kinkaid peers over at Grady suspiciously. "How did you guys happen to meet?"
"It's a funny story actually," Grady tells him. "But how about we eat while we tell it, yeah?"
Kinkaid nods, a few of his curls bouncing as he does. "I'm throwing it together as we speak. Want to make us some drinks?"
He doesn't wait for a reply before he walks back toward the kitchen. Grady stands and moves over behind the bar. "What would you like to drink?"
"Water?" I ask.
Setting three glasses on the counter, he stops and looks at me. "You sure?"
"Yes," I tell him more confidently this time.
By the time he's setting the glasses on our table, Kinkaid is coming out of the kitchen with steaming dishes. He places one in front of each of us before taking his seat. We've all got a decent size steak with a scoop full of vegetables and some tiny potatoes. I wait until they start eating before I do the same.
The only sound is our silverware against our plates, and normally, I'm okay with the quiet. However, my senses are completely overwhelmed as they were last night with his scent. One I was finally able to pinpoint today as I quite shamefully sniffed the spices at the store. Allspice. It was a dead ringer.
"So, they let you just come in whenever you want to cook lunch for your friends?" I ask him, trying to make conversation.
He huffs out a short laugh. "Well, it helps that the owner is one of my best friends, and that I'm covering for his head chef while she's out on maternity leave."
"Don't let him lie to you, Marnie," Grady says. "He'll ring all of this up when the doors open and pay our tab."
Kinkaid motions with his hand toward him, grinning. "That, too. I'm curious, though, how does everyone know each other?"
"Umm," I start, my cheeks flaming as I look down at my plate.
"Marnie just had some questions about laundry detergent and I happened to be the only person in the aisle," Grady supplies. He doesn't confess that I had absolutely no idea what I was doing.
"Oh, okay," Kinkaid says. "I never can figure out any of that stuff, either. It's why I always rely on this big goof to go buy all of it."
I glance up and smile, knowing he's just saying that to make me feel better. Grady takes a sip of his drink and sets it back down as he informs me, "To be honest, some of our pack mates are high profile, and we've had more than one stalker instance that we've had to get a handle on."
"I can assure you that I have absolutely no idea who any of you are," I tell him, strength back in my voice. "Today is only my second day being in town. I came in yesterday because I'm supposed to start classes here next week."
"Oh yeah?" Kinkaid asks. "Where did you come here from?"
I can feel the blood drain from my face. That's one question I won't be answering, no matter who's doing the asking. Swallowing hard, I consider making a run for it. I just can't remember if Grady locked the door or not. Plus, he's still got all of my stuff in the back of his car. I glance at the door at the same time Kinkaid reaches for my hand on the table.
Flinching back hard enough to knock my fork off my plate, sending it flying, I apologize quickly. "I'm sorry. Umm, I need to go."
Kinkaid moves his hands to his lap slowly as Grady speaks, drawing my attention to him. "You don't have to leave, and you most certainly don't have to share anything you don't want to."
He adjusted position as Kinkaid did and now is leaning forward with his arms on the table. "Ask us anything. Anything you want to know."
I try to calm the thud of my heart in my chest. "How long have you been friends?"
"Friends?" he asks, turning to Kinkaid. "What, seven years now? Pack mates? Right at three."
Taking the fork from the other side of the table out of its napkin and handing it to me, he adds, "There are five of us total. Me and Kinkaid. Then we've got Raine, Jameson, and Emerson."
Kinkaid flicks his gaze over to his pack mate then back at me. I don't know which one they're worried about me knowing who they are, but they don't have any idea just how safe they are. I couldn't possibly care any less about how high-profile any of them are. After today, I don't plan on talking to any of them again. If nothing else, this whole thing has proved that I'm not ready for this kind of people interaction. My palms are sweaty thinking about having to sit here and continue this conversation feeling like I'm about ready to throw up at any second.
I bring the back of my hand to my lips and drop it again. "I'm sorry, but can I use the restroom?"
"You don't have to ask," Grady replies softly. "It's in the back corner."
Following his nod, I see the sign for it, and stand up, trying my best not to move too fast and act like the total weirdo they probably think I am now. "I'll be right back."
"Sure," he says, giving me a smile while Kinkaid peers down at his plate that's been untouched since my freak out.
I feel their gazes hot on my back all the way to the restroom. As soon as I'm inside, I let the door close then lock it behind me. Leaning back against the door, I close my eyes. I know it's only been days, but I don't think I'm ever going to be normal. Going over to the sink, I wash my hands once and then twice. If I can make it away from the compound, I can go out there and finish lunch.
When I make it back out to the table, they don't seem to have been talking about me since food has disappeared off their plates and they both smile at me as I approach.
"You guys want dessert?" Kinkaid asks with a smile that doesn't quite meet his eyes like it did before.
Before I can lie and say that I'm full or anything else completely obvious, Grady steps in again. "Are you okay?"
I lick my lips and look away. I'm tired of hiding and not being able to be... normal. Taking a deep breath, I give him as honest of an answer as I can. "I will be. Just not right now. And I don't want to talk about it."
He nods. "That's fair. New places can be lonely, so if you ever need anything, you're more than welcome to come to us."
Finally, my eyes turn back to him. "I'll be fine but thank you."
Dipping his chin in acknowledgement, he then turns to Kinkaid, "I'm going to vote yes to dessert."
His friend grins and stands from the table, going back into the kitchen. His scent is stronger than ever as he walks by, making me want to ask him to let me just hug him for a moment. My body gravitates toward his as passes me. I pretend it was intentional as I catch Grady watching me. He smiles like he knows something that I don't.
The chocolate lava cake that Kinkaid brings us has to be the worst kind of sinning there is. I might even commit bad acts for it. There might still be food left on my plate, but not the dessert one.
"I think that one's a winner," Grady tells Kinkaid.
"First time ever making lava cake," he admits. "Didn't think it was going to turn out very good there for a minute. Have to say it's one of my favorites so far, too."
"You are going to have to make Marnie the caramel thing next time," Grady says. "We'd have to invite Raine, though. He might disown us all if we have it without him."
Even after the weirdness of earlier, they're not only considering inviting me for lunch again, but introducing me to another of their pack mates. I'm not sure if that's ever going to happen, but I agree to it nonetheless. We get ready to leave, and Kinkaid brings me a small container to put my leftovers in with a bag and a plastic fork. To my surprise, he sneaks in another smaller container that he tells me not to open until later. I can only hope at what it might be.
He walks us out to the curb. "Thanks for having lunch with us today, Marnie."
"Thank you for cooking for us," I tell him. "And for the cake. I might need three more of those next time."
His head tilts back with his laugh. "You got it."
He opens his arms. "Would it be weird of me to ask for a hug? It only feels right since I almost ruined lunch."
I glance down, hiding my smile. "Anything you might've come close to ruining; you definitely make up five times over with that cake."
Grady laughs with us before I step into Kinkaid. My body is tense at first. Not relaxing, even with how much I wanted his touch earlier. It takes several seconds before I melt into him. He squeezes me tight before letting go. It's weird craving someone I just met, because as soon as he lets me go, I wish he wouldn't have. There's got to be some syndrome name for what I'm experiencing. If either of them knew what was good for them, they'd keep their distance until I could get my head on straight.
Stepping back with a quick wave, he says bye to Grady before stepping back inside the restaurant.
Turning back to Grady, I find him watching me. "Ready to go?"
"I think I'll be okay to walk the rest of the way," I tell him.
His brows draw down a bit. "There's nothing wrong with asking for help every now and then. Even if it's just for a five-minute ride."
I let out a quick chuckle. "I see what you did there."
Smiling, he opens the passenger side door and waits for me to make the decision on whether I want to accept his invitation. I know I probably shouldn't, because there are things inside of me that need to be fixed before I can be anything close to a normal person. But I also want to be selfish for the second time in my life. I want to accept what he's willing to give me, even if it boils down to being nothing more than a friendship in the long run.
Stepping forward, I feel like I'm moving in the right direction. Even more so as I take the seat he's offering, and the door closes behind me.