Chapter Nineteen
“HEY FRIENDS, WHEREVER YOU ARE.” I rubbed the sleeves of Logan’s old Stanford hoodie he’d given me to cover up my nakedness, and spoke into the microphone, just needing a connection to music. I was hoping it would help me work out the emotions that had been stirring inside me over the last two days since Logan and I kissed.
It had been two days since we’d talked. Two days since all I’d wanted to do was kiss him again. It was ridiculous, to say the least. The man had made it clear he wasn’t interested in kissing me back. The way he’d looked at me after he’d pulled away, apparently horrified he’d kissed me ... It wasn’t exactly an ego booster. And even if he’d loved it, I absolutely did not want to be the follow-up act to Erica.
I’d seen the framed photos of the two of them together on his bedside table. Not only were they a stunning couple, but you could see the love between them as they smiled at each other. It was heartachingly beautiful.
But despite all of that, I couldn’t help but wonder—what if? What if there was something between Logan and me that needed to be explored? Something beyond friendship? Again, it was just plain stupid of me.
Just as stupid, or more, as my disastrous attempt at skinny-dipping. Here I’d thought I would just take a quick dip in the middle of the night, hoping no one would see me. Besides finding a summer fling, it was the item on the bucket list I’d been most afraid of, so I’d tried to streamline the process. I’d thought if I was already naked under the cloak of a blanket, it would save time dressing and undressing on the beach.
Unfortunately, I hadn’t accounted for how the cold water would affect me, and I’d foolishly thought I just needed to acclimate to it. As embarrassed as I was about it, I was so grateful Logan was awake that night and heard me yelp. Even if it was very damsel in distress of me. And even if Logan was forced to carry me while I was nude under a blanket, without any of my clothes in sight.
Still, he’d been the perfect hero, sweeping me up into his arms and holding me close. All I’d been able to think of as he’d held me was how much I belonged in his arms and wanted to camp out there for a while if he’d let me.
I hadn’t planned on kissing him, but I didn’t regret it, save for the fact that he’d probably ruined me for other men for the foreseeable future. It was going to take a lot to top a kiss from Logan Summers. The man had some serious ninja kissing skills.
“I’ve been thinking a lot about kissing. Pretty much twenty-four seven lately,” I confessed into the mic. “Funny, right? But honestly, I think it’s something we take for granted. Kissing is all about human connection and making us feel good. It’s like talking without saying a word. Sometimes it’s the best conversation of your day. Did you know that kissing someone can help you determine whether the individual is a suitable partner to make babies with? Crazy, huh? It also makes me believe in magic. Nothing compares to the magic of your first kiss with the someone you can’t stop thinking about. You know, unless they just ate a ton of garlic and onions.” I laughed.
“But in all seriousness, my mom always told me not to kiss frogs in search of a prince. She believed that was the worst advice ever. I have to agree. She said to only kiss princes. Kiss every prince you can until you find your prince. I’ve tried my best to follow that advice. Because of that, I’ve had the honor of kissing some very princely men. Some of the princeliest, even.
“But my question for you is: What do you do when you’ve opened that perfect present with someone, and you realize there are no more presents to unwrap? Is it better to have experienced the perfect kiss, even if it was only once, or would it be better not to know what you’re missing out on? What do you think?
“For me ...” I curled more into myself, inhaling the musky scent of Logan’s hoodie. “I’ll choose to open that one gift every time and treasure it.”
I knew that was all I had left—the treasure of a memory. Logan was probably never going to talk to me again, much less kiss me. He’d told me he didn’t want any romantic entanglements, and I obviously hadn’t listened. Granted, he’d come 90 percent of the way, and I’d only gone the other 10 percent. And he’d done a thorough job of kissing me, so he couldn’t have been that opposed.
Regardless, it all came to the same conclusion—I had a major crush on my neighbor, and I was no closer to finding a summer fling. Because if I was going to have a fling, he had better kiss like Logan Summers, and I wasn’t sure that was possible.
“The first song tonight, ‘Kiss on My List,’ is by the duo Hall and Oates, and it comes off their ninth studio album. This song hit the number one spot on the Billboard Hot 100 and stayed there for three weeks. According to Daryl Hall, it’s an anti-love song, but I don’t believe it. This song speaks to the magic of kissing. And I have to agree: Kissing is one of the best things in life, and it’s always on my list. This song goes out to the man who gave me the best kiss of my life. You know who you are. All I can say is thank you. I’ll never forget it.”
I clicked play, knowing I was probably making a bigger fool of myself, but I just had to let Logan know I didn’t regret what had happened between us. My only regret was that he may not want to be my friend anymore.
That was the thing about kissing—as magical as it was, sometimes it could be poisonous. A kiss could kill a friendship that wasn’t ready for more. And I was afraid that was exactly what had happened to Logan’s and my budding friendship.
I made a mental note to myself: Only skinny-dip in the bathtub moving forward—it’s much safer for the heart.