Chapter Twenty
I GROANED AS I PULLED my truck into the garage, the sound of laughter and music filtering through my rolled-down window. The beach was alive with activity, and I knew it could only mean one thing—Brooke’s party. Not just any party, but her bonfire. Another item checked off that damn bucket list that had gotten me into more trouble this summer than I’d bargained for.
I had purposely come home late after my long shift at the hospital, hoping to find the festivities over so I could pretend they had never happened. I’d done the mature thing and ignored her message earlier that day inviting me to come. It was the first time she’d tried to contact me since that night.
Not that I hadn’t thought about her almost every second since that kiss.
I had hoped the distance would quell my desire, but no such luck. The memory of Brooke—how she tasted, how she felt—was going nowhere. Neither was the hurt on her face when I gave her something to wear and told her it would be best if she just left.
It had been a prick move, but how could I risk needing her when I knew Erica would hate me for it? I wasn’t one of those guys , even though I now felt like one. Kissing Brooke had nothing to do with stroking my ego by landing a younger woman. But I knew that was how it would look to all of Erica’s family and friends if I pursued a relationship with Brooke .
They didn’t understand how lonely I was and that, for the first time since Erica died, I’d felt some measure of happiness being with Brooke. Sure, she was beautiful, but it wasn’t just Brooke’s beauty I found attractive. It was that she was crazy enough to jump into the freezing lake in the middle of the night naked, and maybe I needed some crazy in my life. It had been a long time since I’d had any.
Erica was a planner, and I loved that about her. I needed that part of her when we were together, and I still needed it. But there was a part of me that also needed to be the guy who had tried out for American Idol on a whim. That guy showed up around Brooke. He was the one who hadn’t thought twice about jumping into the lake to save a naked woman.
I tapped my head on the steering wheel, more confused than ever. What good was it doing me to stay away from Brooke if I couldn’t stop thinking about her? I didn’t know what to do with that question. I threw open my door, slammed it, and marched inside the dark, empty house. The crushing weight of loneliness settled in my gut.
I flipped on some lights and walked into the kitchen. The mellow strains of yacht rock music drifted in from Brooke’s party. Only she would think to play Ambrosia songs at a bonfire. I couldn’t help but smile.
While I was pouring myself a glass of water, Eden and Sophie came through the back door, all smiles, each carrying a picnic basket.
“Uncle Logan,” Sophie said brightly, holding up hers. “Brooke gave everyone a basket full of treats and things to roast on the fire.”
“That was thoughtful,” I replied.
Eden caught my eye and gave me a knowing look. One that said she knew exactly why I hadn’t come. “Sophie, honey, it’s late. Will you please go get ready for bed, and I’ll be right in?”
Sophie rolled her eyes. “I know you just want to talk to Uncle Logan alone and tell him he’s being an idiot.” Sophie smirked at me. “You are kind of being one. Love you.” She ran away, laughing to herself.
Eden walked my way, grinning, and leaned on the counter across from me. “That was pretty much the gist of what I was going to say. ”
I set my glass on the counter and let out a heavy breath. “I know. It’s just complicated.”
“Is it really? She’s only going to be here for the summer, Logan. It’s not like you’re making some lifetime commitment here. She’s not even looking for one, as far as I can tell. Maybe just another kiss.” Eden laughed.
I groaned.
“Oh yes, I connected the dots after listening to her latest podcast episode. When did that happen?”
It surprised me Brooke hadn’t told Eden about her skinny-dipping escapade and what ensued after it. After all, she’d already laid a lot of it out on her podcast. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t flattered by her description of it. The kiss had felt like a gift for me too. Just one that scared the hell out of me and left me more confused than ever.
I looked up at the wood-beamed ceiling and sighed. “A few nights ago.”
“And how was it for you?” Eden asked, more amused than she had a right to be.
I lowered my head. “I don’t kiss and tell.”
“That’s okay; you don’t have to. Your brooding behavior the last few days says it all. That girl rocked your world.”
That was an understatement.
“It’s not exactly a good thing.”
“Says who?” she asked, annoyed. “I’m sorry, but you’re not seeing this right. You have nothing to feel guilty about. You’re both consenting adults, and I’m sorry if Erica wouldn’t like her, but Erica’s not here, and I’m sorry for that too. But you need to grab happiness when you can, even if you know it won’t last.” Her voice pitched.
I tilted my head. “Did you think your marriage wasn’t going to last?”
She blew out a breath that made her bangs ruffle. “Mom warned me that men like Luca were fun, but she feared that when the party was over and we settled into real life, he would get bored, and she was right. He was shiny, as Brooke would say. But I was naive and thought that our love would be enough for him. I was wrong,” she said resolutely.
“But I wouldn’t change it. I got the best thing in my life out of it. Sophie was worth it all.” She paused, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “I think a summer with Brooke is worth it too.” She pushed off the counter. “You might want to know that Brooke is still out there. Do what you will with that information. Good night.” She waved.
I took a moment to let Eden’s words sink in. Was I just being an idiot and overcomplicating it? Would one summer with a beautiful woman be so bad? Would Brooke even consider it? Especially after I’d distanced myself from her the last few days. I supposed there was only one way to find out.