Chapter 13
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
DEX
After Rome leaves me cold once again, I let him avoid me.
I go back to my normal schedule for the week, and I don’t see even a whisper of him at the gym.
Thom’s not acting weird though, which means Rome didn’t tell him what happened, and when I run into Robbie on Saturday for Thom’s abs class, he doesn’t seem different either.
I take that as no one knows. While it doesn’t help me sleep any easier, at the very least, I feel good that it hasn’t spread the way gossip usually does through the Deaf community.
I get a text from Leaf on Saturday, asking me to come by the next morning to help with his garden, which is easy to agree to.
I have nothing planned at the gym, and sweating under the sun sounds a hell of a lot better than rotting in my condo, staring at the wall, reliving my every moment with Rome.
The drive out to the farm is a bit more familiar these days. We all pitched in as best we could when Leaf was rebuilding after the FBI tore it to pieces, and now it looks nothing like it used to be.
It’s still weird to know it was basically a graveyard for a bunch of missing people his aunt had murdered, but all of us seem pretty sure that Leaf doesn’t have any of her serial killer DNA in him. Or, if he does, he won’t use it on any of us.
I pull my car up next to Thorne’s and find him and Leaf already outside. Leaf is in his usual crop top and short shorts, garden boots covering his shins, a big straw hat on his head protecting him from the sun.
He was never my type, but something about him is chaotically charming. I can see why Thorne’s so into him.
Thorne, of course, notices me first. He’s trained like that, so even with his hearing loss, he’s aware when the energy around him shifts. He waves me over, and I walk toward him, avoiding random garden tools and half-chewed vegetables, which all seem to be courtesy of Michael.
“I’m surprised you got up this early,” Thorne says aloud. He’s got his hearing aids in, and with us being so far away from the road, he rarely has trouble understanding what’s being said.
“I needed a distraction. Shit’s been weird lately,” I admit.
Leaf shoots me a sympathetic glance. “You want me to make you a drink?”
“Say no,” Thorne answers quickly. “He’s been experimenting with pickle juice again.”
Leaf smacks Thorne’s stomach with the back of his hand. “Excuse you. I’m not making you drink them. Let me live.”
Thorne grabs him and pulls him close. “No, but you kiss me with pickle mouth, and that’s disgusting.”
Leaf kisses him, then shrugs. “So? I’m not going to kiss Dex, and he’s not kissing anyone else right now.” He glances at me. “Are you?”
‘No,’ I sign quickly. I don’t trust my voice not to betray me. I haven’t kissed anyone in a week, but that’s not to say I won’t in the future if I ever see Rome again.
Fucking Rome.
“You want a drink or no?” he asks me again, and I shake my head.
“After we finish. Then you can make me something weird.”
Leaf swipes his hands on his butt. “Deal. Okay, well, we should get to work.”
“Where do you want me?” I ask.
Leaf gives me a slow up and down. “The barn. I have a bunch of garden beds that need to be put together.” When I pull a face, he waves me off. “They’re not complicated. They’re like Lincoln Logs—no drills or anything like that. It’s just tedious work.”
“Babe,” Thorne says.
Leaf waves him off. ‘Trust. He loves it.’
‘He’s not wrong,’ I answer, using my hands. I do love the tedious shit. Anything to keep my hands busy and mind occupied. Especially now.
“Just drag them out here when you’re done. Thorne and I are going to dig the trenches so we can set them in the ground.”
I give a little salute, then make my way toward the brand-new barn, which isn’t currently housing any animals. They’re experimenting with chickens this year in an attempt for Leaf to redeem himself, but it’s still warm enough for the coop to be outside, so the barn is empty.
It’s a wide, expansive room with a high ceiling and an AC unit, so it’s blessedly not like a sauna. As I sit down on the soft dirt, I pull the nearest box close to me.
This isn’t exactly how I pictured my weekend going. I think of a thousand better things to do than this, but all of those things will lead me down a path I don’t need to go down. So instead, I’m going to build the best fucking planters Leaf and Thorne have ever seen.
And if I’m lucky, I won’t think about Rome.
Not even once.
I’ve put together one and a half planters when a shadow falls across me from my place on the floor. My eyes swivel up, and the screwdriver I’m holding falls onto my leg.
Rome is here, looking so fucking good. He appears both unhappy and surprised to see me in here.
Well, fuck him. If I’d known he was coming to the farm today, I’d have tried to look a little nicer than I do. The holey shirt I’m wearing and the two-day-old scruff I’m sporting aren’t really doing me any favors.
His gaze drifts across me, and then he looks away, his jaw clenching.
I stare at him, refusing to give him an excuse to ignore me this time. He’s been avoiding me all fucking week, and even though I let him, I still want my damn answers.
I need to ask him what the fuck he’s doing with me. Why he’s so intent on icing me out when we burn so brilliantly when we’re together. Why he left for three fucking years without even a scribbled note saying goodbye.
When his gaze meets mine, I lose my nerve and instead ask, ‘Why you here?’
He huffs and pulls his hands out of his pockets. ‘Leaf asked me to come over and help.’
I roll my lips between my teeth and find the courage to ask for the truth. As Denver has taught me, blunt is best, and I can’t keep living like this. ‘All week, you’ve been ignoring me. Why?’
He glances away, those long lashes fanning across his cheeks as he closes his eyes for just a moment, shutting me out. And for a moment, I wonder if he’s going to stay that way, but he doesn’t. He takes three long breaths, then looks back over at me.
‘Why are you ignoring me?’ I ask again.
His nostrils flare, and his teeth grind. Fuck, he looks so good like this. Angry, on the precipice of pouncing, and suddenly I don’t care that it’s been weird between us. Suddenly nothing matters except this moment in the barn.
I want him to fall on top of me. I want us to roll around on the dirt, lips connected, hips grinding. I lick my lips, my hunger for him probably obvious on my face.
‘Stop it,’ he signs with a flick of his wrist. ‘Seriously. You need to leave me alone.’
My eyes widen in surprise and hurt. ‘Why? You didn’t like what we did the other night?’
His cheeks flush, and I see his dick thicken in his shorts. I want to crawl on my knees to him, drag them down, and choke on him once more. I want to listen to him moan and to taste his cum dripping down my throat.
But I don’t.
Not yet, at least. I’m still mad, and I deserve an explanation for the way he keeps treating me.
‘I liked it, but that’s not the issue.’
I stare up at him, and he huffs loudly.
‘Seriously. Stop fucking playing with me. It’s gross. You’re gross.’
I hop up, unable to stop myself. ‘I’m not gross. And I know you don’t think that. You were gagging for it. For me.’ My finger lands on my chest hard enough to hurt.
Rome squares his shoulders and glares. ‘That doesn’t matter. You’re a cheater.’
That makes my eyes widen so far I’m afraid they’re going to pop out of my head. ‘What the fuck? A cheater?’
That makes him explode, his throat emitting a desperate, angry grunt, and then his hands move. ‘You’re engaged! You’re engaged and fucking around with me!’
I blink rapidly, my eyebrows rising. ‘Engaged? To who?’
‘Stop pretending like you don’t know. I saw her. I met her, and now I feel fucking guilty that your cock was down my throat and you were on your knees for me last week.’
If I weren’t so confident in my ASL skills, I’d have wondered if I imagined this, like maybe I’m misunderstanding everything. But I can tell by the look on his face he’s dead serious. I have no idea who he could possibly think I’m cheating on, but I know this isn’t some bullshit excuse.
There’s real hurt in his eyes.
I take a breath to calm myself, then sign, ‘Rome. Who do you think I’m engaged to?’
He looks like he’s about to punch me. ‘Lexi.’
The sight of her name spelled on his fingers makes my mouth open, and I let out a horrific, barking laugh. I sound like a donkey, and Rome must hear some of it because he jumps slightly.
‘Why you laugh?’ he asks, still upset.
I’m too busy trying not to choke on the giggles welling up inside of my throat to answer. Engaged to Lexi? Is that what he thinks? Fuck, no wonder he’s been icing me out.
‘Stop laughing,’ he hisses, signs short, jagged, and small.
‘Sorry,’ I say, still chuckling as I swipe at my watering eyes. ‘I’m not mocking you. I’m just surprised.’ He doesn’t look convinced. ‘You really think I’m engaged to Lexi?’ I finally ask.
His cheeks pale. ‘You not?’ I shake my head, and his brows furrow. ‘I saw the ring…I saw pictures of you two together. You were on a date at the Greek restaurant a few nights ago.’
I groan and roll my eyes. ‘We dated for a couple months, but we broke up three years ago. She got back together with her ex. They’re engaged. I’m single and not cheating. On anyone.’
Rome blinks at me as my hands fall to my sides.
We stare at each other as the sun shines in through the doorway, bits of dust sparkled in the rays.
‘Truth?’ he finally asks, and I nod, wetting my lips and trying to keep myself from moving toward him.
I can’t believe he thought I was a cheater.
I can’t believe he’d think that about me.
But there’s something about the anger and passion in his signs that has my blood running hotter.
He cared. He was killing himself over what we’d done together.
He let himself compromise all his morals and fuck an engaged man because he wanted me that badly.
I don’t know if that makes me a bad person, but in this moment I don’t care. I want him even more now.
I adjust my growing cock, and his gaze flicks down to the movement. His cheeks redden again, and his pupils dilate. I can tell he wants to move toward me, but before he can, Leaf stumbles in.
‘Hi!’ he exclaims, a streak of dirt across one of his cheeks. ‘I forgot to tell you Rome was showing up since Thom cancelled,’ Leaf tells me. I nod, and he peers between us. ‘You two okay? Not enemies, right?’
‘No,’ I respond before Rome can. God knows how he’ll answer that question, but I want control of the narrative now.
‘Awesome. Well, Rome, you want to help Dex finish those planters? He’s going very slow.’
I roll my eyes, but Rome just shrugs. ‘That’s fine.’
‘Great,’ Leaf replies. ‘Thorne and I are very good at digging holes, and I think we may be done faster than Dex can put these together.’
I flip him off, and Leaf giggles as he throws up a peace sign and disappears, leaving Rome and me alone.
I hold up the screwdriver, and he moves toward it, swiping it from my hand. Our fingers brush when he does that, and a shiver moves up my spine.
‘What do you need me to do?’ he asks, and I seriously contemplate asking him to come sit on my face, but I don’t do that. Instead, I just point to one of the planters still in pieces and ask him to put it together.
He moves toward it, squatting down and forcing my eyes to his ass.
An ass that is very nice-looking and one that I want to fuck again.
My hands tighten on the planter I’ve half put together, keeping myself put. If I let go, I’m afraid I’ll launch at him.
And honestly, I want him to make the next move. He’s avoided me for a week, gave me the cold shoulder, and all the while thought I was cheating on my fiancée. So I want him to be the one to initiate whatever happens next.