Chapter 15 - Adrian
“So, you lied to her to get her to leave him?” she asks, her voice quiet.
“I did. It was deeply cruel of me. It’s something I struggle to live with. I hate that part of myself, and since then, I’ve learned a lot. A lot has changed in me, and things between Anka and me have changed.”
“But she will never get those years back,” Athena whispers.
“She won’t,” I agree solemnly.
Athena nods.
I’m speaking calmly. I’m answering all of her questions with full honestly, but inside, I am raging with anger toward her father for daring to call her.
I warned him. I told him to stay away, and he blatantly ignored me.
What was he trying to do? What did he really want from her?
I’m so fucking proud of her for shooting him down, but his words obviously affected her, and this conversation is not the one I was hoping to have over dinner tonight.
What happened between Anka and me is something I will always carry responsibility for, but I never wanted it to define my relationship with Athena, or anyone else, for that matter.
My brothers, my other sisters. I made a mistake.
One that deeply hurt someone I care about. And I am still living with that.
Athena is watching me closely. Her eyes are dark and reserved. She’s pensive, thoughtful, and somehow closing off to me.
“Athena?” I say her name gently. “I wasn’t hiding this from you, it’s just…it’s something that is in my past, something I am trying to move on from,” I try to explain.
“I understand,” she says gently. There is no judgment in her tone, but still, her body language is closed. Protective of herself.
I take a step toward her, and she takes a sharp breath, so I take a step back. Smiling tightly, I gesture toward the burgers.
“Do you like avocado on your burgers?” I ask, trying to change the subject.
“Sure. And onion,” she nods. But her eyes are not shining. Her smile is not bright.
We make burgers together, but Athena is distant and quiet.
We eat them in the living room, neither of us speaking.
I’m trying to understand what I can do to fix this.
After sleeping with her last night, making love to her in my bed, I thought things between us would only get better.
It was the most amazing night I’ve ever had.
She was too beautiful for words, and the connection I felt between us was more intense than anything I’d ever had before.
But this conversation has clearly put a strain on our relationship.
After dinner, I look up at her and ask, “Are you ok? Did you still want to talk about things?”
She tilts her head to the side and bites at her lip. “Actually. I think I just need a little time to process stuff. It’s a lot to take in. My dad calling. What he told me. And he didn’t lie this time. Um. I just need some time alone to process, I think.”
I clench my jaw and take a deep breath. “I don’t want you to…”
“I’m not going to try and escape, I promise,” she says quickly. “Just some time. That’s all.”
Sighing again, I nod. “I understand. And you must take all the time you need. I’ll be here if you want to talk to me. Anytime.”
Athena stands up, still biting nervously at her lip. “Thank you for dinner. I’m going to head up to my room and get ready for bed.”
It’s still pretty early. I know she isn’t going to sleep now, but I have to respect whatever she needs.
I smile. “See you tomorrow,” I say kindly.
She smiles too, but it doesn’t reach her eyes.
I watch her walk away, and my heart is heavy in my chest.
I really hope I haven’t fucked this up. I really hope she finds a way to come back to me.
My eyes drift toward the fire. I watch as the flames devour the wood. Eating away at the bark, licking with bright red tongues that destroy everything they touch.
Maybe I’m the flame.
Maybe I destroy everything, too.
But all I want to do is protect her from her father. I want to keep her safe from him, away from the harm he can cause her and has caused her in the past.
Suddenly, the idea hits me. It’s like a punch in the gut.
I am purposefully keeping Athena and her father apart. I am controlling their relationship with the goal of protecting her.
Am I doing exactly the same thing now that I was doing to Athena?
Am I repeating the same mistakes?