10. Paige
10
Paige
A mber!” I spring from Rhodes Hot Wheels-sized car and sprint to where she’s sitting outside my door on a mushroom stump carved from wood.
She stands and embraces/catches me. “I brought wine.”
I adjust my glasses that almost flew off my face with our greeting and point at the four pack in her hand. “That’s not wine.”
“It’s wine in a can.”
“They make that?”
“Of course they do,” she huffs. “Anything can go in a can.”
“That’s not true. Or healthy,” Rhodes yells before climbing out to lean on his door.
Turning around, I ask, “Want to come have some canned wine then?”
“Definitely no. I have…stuff to do.”
“Stuff?” Amber repeats quietly. “Since when does he have stuff ?”
I whisper out the side of my mouth. “I don’t know. But he’s been acting weird since he picked me up. Actually, no. Even longer than that.”
“Better that he leaves then,” she says quietly before shouting back to him, “See you later, Rhodes! Go enjoy a nice healthy jog.” She lowers her voice again. “God, I hate jogging. ”
I snicker, and Rhodes waves before folding his body back into his car, which involves an abnormal amount of tucking. I’ll never understand why that man drives the smallest vehicle known to man while he is quite possibly in line for the tallest.
I loop my arm through Amber’s, her tan sweater out of place on this warm day, and lead her around the side of the house to my door before my parents or Constance can see who’s here. Apart from Rhodes, Amber is my favorite two-legged human. She’s the most genuine person I know, but she’s also a bona fide kiss-ass when she needs to be. Everyone loves her because of it. I swear she can get out of just about anything with her sweet, normal-person smile.
“How was work?” she asks as I unlock my door.
I immediately rush into explaining Delia's idea about talking to three men and how excited I am while Cleocatra rubs up against our legs. I try not to trip over her or my words as I rush to get them out.
“I would be excited about talking to a few men, too. I haven’t had a date since…the person who shall not be named.” She pops the can of wine, and it hisses.
“You mean Randy?”
“Sh-sh-sh! How dare you!” Her finger is pointed square in my face. “You can never speak of that.”
Amber has sworn me to secrecy on a number of things, but her disaster dates with Randy topped the list. And yes, there were multiple, but she doesn’t count them since he made her pay.
I shrug and start shifting pillows on the couch so I can bury myself in them.
“What did Rhodes say about this plan?” Amber asks, plopping down across from me .
I ruffle my brow and shrug a shoulder. “You know Rhodes. He didn’t seem overly excited about the prospect, but come to think of it, he didn’t make fun of it nearly as much as I expected him to.”
She nods, curling her legs under her and handing me a can. “That’s surprising. This situation is ripe with jokes just waiting for him to make.”
“Yeah…” Maybe it has something to do with why he was so distracted today. Whatever is going on, I know Rhodes will tell me eventually. He always does. The man can barely keep private what his doctor tells him.
Amber and I spend the next hour swapping stories of our day while clinking our cans of rosé together—tasting better than the bottled kind, in my opinion—and letting Cleocatra move back and forth between our laps. She catches me up on all the coffee stand drama, which includes a man who set a timer for her, and a disgruntled lady who tried to crawl through the window. I tell her how Randy washed the paper plates after serving cake on them and asked me to put them back on the shelf to sell, which I did not.
My phone buzzes, and I peer at the unknown number on the screen, preparing my thumb to block this person who is probably a scammer. Get out of my head, Constance.
But upon reading the message, my blood heats, and I leap to my feet out of pure adrenaline. “It’s happening!”
“What’s happening?”
“The dating game. It’s one of the guys.” I toss my phone at her and jump to my feet. “Read it out loud. I can’t do it.”
She huffs from the impact of my phone to her chest, then picks it up and starts reading the text out loud.
Unknown
Hi, I hope it’s okay to reach out. Delia gave me your number.
I grab the sides of my face. “Oh no! What do I say?”
“Be honest,” Amber says. “Tell him you want to bone him.”
I glare at her, then continue pacing. “Reply with hi or maybe just a hey . Yeah, that sounds better. And maybe ask what his name is? Can I do that? Delia never said I couldn’t, but maybe that’s breaking the rules. I feel like I should care about those.”
She shakes her head and laughs. “Paige. Relax. You’re making up the rules to this just as much as Delia is. We’ll ask his name and see what he says.”
It doesn’t take long for man number one to reply to Amber. I mean, me.
Unknown
Roger. So, how’s it going?
“Roger sounds like a smart person’s name,” she says. “That’s a good sign.”
“How?”
She stretches her legs out. “I don’t know. It just does.”
I’m still pacing my living room rug, the geometric one that had a stain when I bought it, and I had to use an entire bottle of carpet cleaner just to get it out. There’s still a faint outline, but I don’t have the heart to get rid of it.
“How am I doing…” I repeat to myself, wondering how I’m supposed to tell him I’m freaking out.
Amber widens her eyes and shakes her head. “I take it all back. You should not be honest about how you’re doing. Lie.”
I shoot her a look and put my hand out to take the phone. Luckily, she gives it to me instead of chucking it across the room, which is what I hoped she’d do to take away this anxious feeling. But once I have it in my hand, I’m no closer to knowing what to say or how to do this. I’ve never blind-texted anyone before. You can tell a lot about a person when meeting them. Texting doesn’t show their personality or how they really say things.
Me
I’m good. Just got off work. You?
Unknown
I’m cleaning my apartment.
Two gold stars. He has an apartment, and he’s cleaning it. This is certainly better than the guy I dated a few months ago who only watered the plants in his apartment. The laundry and dishes were expected to clean themselves.
Me
I love a good cleaning sprint. What do you do for work?
I change his name in my phone from Unknown to Roger Who Cleans.
Roger Who Cleans
Entertainment. You?
Well, this is going downhill quickly. I’ve never been embarrassed about working at a thrift store at almost thirty years old, but I want to impress this guy for some reason. Maybe it’s not impressive enough. Perhaps he’d think it’s weird.
The niggling thought that says I should have a career by now—know what success looks like—enters the chat. The Itch inside me to do something is squirming. I close my eyes and force myself not to pay attention to it. I decide on something general.
Me
I’ve worked in sales for the last few years .
“Hey,” Amber points at me, “read out loud as you type.”
I fill her in on the last few lines when Roger sends another message.
Roger who cleans
Have you ever done anything like this before?
Me
Never. But I’m open to it being the best experience of my life.
Roger Who Cleans
You seem like a very positive person.
Me
Sometimes too positive. At least that’s what my best friends say. They think I need more negativity in my life.
Roger Who Cleans
Might not be a horrible idea…kidding, of course.
Me
So…how do you know Delia?
Roger Who Cleans
Mutual friend. You?
Me
Associates.
My legs refuse to sit or stop moving. I’m biting my thumb, thinking of how to respond and wondering what the hell I’m going to say to keep the conversation going.
“What’s he saying?” Amber smacks my arm .
I snap my head up. “Oh, just all the basic stuff. Where he works, names, cleaning.”
“Sounds riveting.” She rolls her eyes and lolls her head back. “We need to spice this up, or I’m going to fall asleep. Ask him three things he’d bring to a deserted island. Now that is telling.”
“How?”
“Because he’s limited. He can only choose three, and those items are the most special to him.”
“You’ve never asked me that question,” I say, standing taller.
She waves me off. “I already know what you’d bring.”
“And what’s that?”
“Cleocatra, a copy of Lord of the Rings , and a sun hat—you have fair skin and remind me anytime we walk outside.”
“Lucky guess.” I glare and turn my attention back to my phone. I’m sure I should ask this stranger more get-to-know-you questions, but Amber might be onto something. And an icebreaker could be good.
Me
If you could only bring three things to a deserted island, what would they be?
Roger Who Cleans
Going straight for the personal questions, I see.
Roger Who Cleans
I’d bring a filtered water bottle, my best friend, so I could talk to someone, and The Lord of the Rings trilogy box set. Does this still count as one?
Lord of the Rings . That’s exactly what I said —would have said .
Me
I’ll accept the box set.
Me
It’s like you’ve been preparing for this question your entire life. Or someone’s asked you before.
Roger Who Cleans
Both?
Roger Who Cleans
Now I have to know what you’d bring…
I reply with my answer, and we continue to talk about how Lord of the Rings is one of the best series of all time, riffing on the language Tolkien created and the sheer mastery of his world-building. It’s easy and light like we’ve been texting longer than twenty minutes. I hadn’t even noticed when I migrated to my bed, face glued to the screen, while Amber watched TV. Or when the sky turned dark, and she eventually left, taking the cans with her.
I did start to notice when my stomach growled, and the time on my phone said it was seven and well past dinner. Rhodes always gets on me for forgetting to eat solid meals. But it’s just that when he’s around, it’s easy not to have to think about everything because he’s got it. It works both ways. He reminds me to eat a balanced meal, and I remind him to eat a cookie every once in a while.
I’ve got a mini fridge and basic kitchen setup down here that’s perfect for one person. Taking advantage of the leftovers I know are still hiding in there from Mom, I scoot to the end of my bed, arrive at the kitchen, and start pulling Tupperware I sold her a lifetime ago (last year) from the fridge.
Me
I should probably let you go. I’ve got to go to the vet early tomorrow morning.
It’s Cleocatra’s yearly checkup, and she does not like going, so I make a day of it by arriving first thing in the morning when the vet opens and then spending the rest of the day doing her favorite things. Rhodes agreed to come for moral support because he also likes walking my cat in the park afterward as much as I do.
Roger Who Cleans
I’ll talk to you tomorrow then.
A goodbye with a promise. I try not to read into it too much and decide not to respond, instead opening up my text string with Rhodes.
Me
Still up for meeting me at the vet at 8?
Rhodes
It’s on every calendar I own.
Me
Which equals zero calendars.
Rhodes
I use the one on my phone sometimes, but all my plans are in my head.
Me
That must mean you don’t have many to think of. Is your life really that boring?
Rhodes
Yes. And you know this.
Me
I’ll see you tomorrow, loser.
Me
But you know I’m just joking and really love you. Okay byyyyyyye.
I hit the button on the side of my phone to close it, putting it on the charger beside the bed with a smile. I’m smiling when I walk to the bathroom to wash my face; Amber says I have to use moisturizer now that I’m almost thirty, then I brush my teeth and change into pajamas. The smile is still on my lips when I crawl under the covers, and Cleo curls around my head like she does every night. And even when I remember the dinner I forgot to eat.
I groan and hop out of bed for a slice of cheese and salami.
Delia’s dating game had me worried at first, but knowing at least one of them has potential to hold a conversation makes me hopeful.
That’s worth another smile.