11. Rhodes
11
Rhodes
T his is not going to be easy.
I spent the better part of an hour texting Paige last night as Roger . I panicked and couldn’t think of a better name. The line between acting as though I’ve never met her before and knowing everything about her was as thin as dental floss.
Add this to the fact we’re in the sterile waiting room at the vet with animal fur coating every part of me, and she texted me (Roger) but also me (Rhodes). Thankfully, the mewing cat belonging to someone else hid my panicked noises. I can barely keep these two different sides of me straight. One knows Paige always has popsicles in her freezer because her parents never bought them when she was a kid, and the other is not supposed to know how adorable she looks when she’s concerned like she is right now. Paige worries at her bottom lip, eyes wide and assessing like Cleocatra’s are from her kitty carrier between Paige’s ankles.
She pulls out her phone to see if Roger has texted her back—he hasn’t since he’s sitting right next to her—and I have the genius idea to ask, “Who are you texting?”
Her mouth turns up at the corners, and I both hate that it’s because of Roger and love it because it’s not Roger. “Mystery man number one. We’re calling him Roger Who Cleans . ”
I try to conceal my smile and also the way my leg is bouncing up and down when she shows me this is indeed his— my —contact name in her phone. “Did you have a good conversation?”
I shouldn’t be asking this. It feels wrong because I know how the conversation went, at least for me. It was how it always goes—fun quips, random questions, and the need to always want more even when it’s time to say goodnight.
“We did,” she says, and I feel myself relax. “Even though we were only texting, it felt like we had a connection.”
Oh God, oh God, oh God.
Isn’t this exactly what I want to hear? YES . But it also feels like I shouldn’t know this. Plus, I’m seconds from blurting the truth.
“Mhm,” I mumble, pressing my lips tightly together.
“Yeah. He seemed fun and like we could have a really good time together.”
Was that worry I heard in her tone? “But…”
Cleo meows steadily, and it’s the only thing keeping Paige from hearing how loud my heart is beating.
She looks around the waiting room. Apart from us, there is only one other person here, but their pet must be in the back since they’re sitting alone. Yet, she still lowers her voice. “I’m just not sure how deep our conversations will get through text, you know? It’s hard to tell how he’s saying things since I can’t hear his voice in my head.”
Note to self Roger: use more emojis.
“Maybe it’ll just take more conversations to get an idea of who he is.”
She shakes her head. “But what if I choose him, and it’s all wrong? What if I think he seems one way, but he’s…not.” She exhales and crosses her legs over Cleocatra’s carrier. “I think I might try voice texting or just calling him. That will be a little better, right? ”
HELL NO IT WON’T.
I can’t say that, though. “Won’t that break the rules?”
“I don’t even know what the rules are, to be honest, just that I’m not supposed to meet or see them. But hearing each other’s voice is probably okay.”
It is absolutely not okay.
“Texting is like next-level blind dating, don’t you think? It adds to the experience, makes it even more mysterious. Like that one dating show you made me watch with you months ago. With the pods…” She nods and waits for me to make my point. “Some of those guys sounded a lot hotter than they looked. Why catfish yourself?”
“You think someone’s voice bamboozled a woman into choosing them?”
I raise my shoulders slowly, tilting my head. “I’m just saying.”
“I don’t know. I’ll talk to Delia tomorrow.” She’s already moved on, studying a diagram of a cat’s internal organs on the wall.
If Paige wanted to voice text, I’d have to change how I sound or get an app to help me with that. Shit . This isn’t how it’s supposed to go. I’m less than twenty-four hours into this and stressing so hard extra worry lines sprout on my forehead.
I just need to chill out so I can think about this rationally. I’m bound to come up against some issues I’ll need to skirt around. But there are benefits to being Paige’s best friend and also one of her blind dates. I’ll know things before Roger does, like if he has a chance at all.
I take a few deep breaths as the vet tech enters the waiting room, smiling and waving us back to one of the exam rooms.
Cleo gets louder, making her protests known to everyone here and those who aren’t. Paige cradles her carrier to her chest and whispers encouraging words. “It’s okay, Cleo. This won’t take long. You’re a healthy, fierce feline with a strong heart and good bones.”
I’m smiling ear-to-ear at how much Paige loves Cleo as I follow behind them. She’s said the same thing to Cleo for every vet appointment since her first. I only know this since I’ve been to almost every single one.
I slow my steps and take a gander at the burner phone in my front left pocket, noting the text Paige sent Roger earlier.
Paige
Is it just me, or is the vet just as scary as going to the doctor’s office?
Since I’m here with her, I know exactly how scared she is about this visit, and she isn’t the one who will be handled like an animal. I want to respond, but we’re deposited in one of the rooms, and I can’t reply without being obvious.
Paige wastes no time letting Cleo out, who hesitantly steps out of her carrier like she’s walking on the moon for the first time. Soon enough, she starts roaming the new space, smelling everything within inches of her, when Paige gets another text.
“It’s one of the other guys!” she says excitedly, and my heart free dives off a cliff.
“ This is Jason. Delia’s my cousin and gave me your digits, ” she reads when he sends another message. “ Here I am! What are your other two wishes ?”
She laughs and finishes her message while I gag. Disgusting . That is totally not going to work for her.
“Cute pickup line,” she surprises me by saying.
Or maybe it will.
“Are you kidding?” I’m dumbfounded. “It sounds like he’s trying way too hard. ”
She sets her phone down on the bench seat beside her. “That could be a good thing, you know. Men should try. I’ve been with enough who haven’t, and it doesn’t go well.”
I try not to roll my eyes and roughly comb the hair on my forehead back. I need to be the encouraging friend, not the jealous contestant. But I’ve never been good at it since this creep is getting something I’ve always wanted with Paige: a shot.
The vet tech comes back in the room, and Paige scoops Cleo up and holds her steady on the metal counter. There is cat hair everywhere, including up my nose, but the tech doesn’t seem to be bothered by tufts of fur replacing the air we breathe. She simply checks Cleo’s teeth, feels around her stomach, paws, tail—basically every place I know for a fact Cleo doesn’t like to be touched—then offers her a treat.
“The vet will be right in to chat with you,” the tech says before leaving.
The door shuts, and Paige’s phone starts ringing. She hits the button on the side to ignore it. “Mom’s calling.”
It starts ringing again. She ignores it.
“You could probably answer,” I say hesitantly. “The vet won’t be in for a bit.”
She shakes her head. “She’s probably just calling to tell me about REI’s end-of-winter sale.”
Well, that’s highly specific.
“Dad already told me about it this morning,” she mentions offhandedly because she’s looking at her phone again. Smiling.
I don’t think half-off boots have her this excited. But I want to know what’s making her smile. But I don’t. Knowing might make me spiral and spend too many hours calculating the subtleties.
Instead, I put it out of my mind and endure the rest of the wait, listening to Paige snicker and continually check her phone. The vet eventually comes back in, and I take this time to sneak off to the bathroom to respond to her as Roger. He wants some of those smiles, too.
Me
Maybe they’ll give you a lollipop before you leave for being such a good owner.
I hit send and pocket my phone, staring straight at myself in the mirror. My dark hair is askew and falling over my forehead again after raking my fingers through it enough times, and the normally light hazel of my eyes looks darker in here. Could be because I want to throw Paige’s phone into the ocean and get down on one knee.
But that won’t happen.
I’m going to see this experiment through and hope she doesn’t hate me by the end of it.