Adam
“This is the literal worst time to have to pee,” Cassie says, bouncing a little as she watches Skyler shove all her chips in. It’s the final table of the tournament onboard, and it’s down to Skyler and one older guy from Germany.
I chuckle. “You better go now. He’s going to take a moment to call, and then the cards will come quickly if he does. They’ll both flip their hands over.”
“I can hold it,” she says, but as she does, her face goes ash white and she squeezes her knees together.
“Go pee, crazy girl.” I shove her toward the bathrooms.
“Yeah, girl. Trust me when I say you do not want to deal with a UTI,” Jess chimes in.
At that, Cassie’s eyes widen and she bites her lip. Then, a soft curse under her breath.
“I’ll be right back. Don’t let them end this without me!”
She half runs, half wobbles off toward the bathroom as Jess and I chuckle before turning back toward the table.
It’s a fairly small crowd gathered for the final table, and the only ones from PSU are me, Kip, Clinton, Jess, Ashlei, Cassie, and Erin.
We’re the Skyler Thorne fan club, and we’ve been the most obnoxious of the night.
Now that it’s down to just two, I know we’re about to go wild.
Because Skyler will win this thing. There’s no doubt in my mind.
“God, she’s got to be sweating so bad,” Ashlei whispers, her hands over her lips. “I can’t imagine the pressure. That’s so much money on the line.”
Clinton crosses his arms over his chest. “Nah, she’s cool as a cucumber. That’s part of what makes her game so incredible to watch — she never shows her tells.”
“Oh, shit, he called.” Jess points to the table as the guy from Germany shoves his chips in, and then both him and Skyler flip their cards over. When they do, everyone in the little crowd except for us laughs.
He has a queen, king suited.
Skyler has a pair of fours.
“Shit,” I murmur, but Kip smiles, nodding like it’s the best hand she’s had.
“This is perfect,” he says.
“How so? There’s a queen and king on the table. That’s two pair — and she has one,” Jess argues.
Kip just smiles wider. “I have faith.”
A hush falls over all of us as the dealer burns one card before turning the next.
Nine of hearts. No help for either of them.
One more card is burned, and Skyler can’t even look.
She watches Kip instead, and I can’t help but grin.
I’m glad they’ve finally figured their shit out, and now that they’ve made it public that they’re a thing, they both seem happier.
I wonder if the same will happen for me and Cassie.
I check over my shoulder for her, but there’s no movement from the bathroom.
“Come on, babe. Get back out here,” I whisper under my breath.
But, it’s too late. The dealer burns and turns, and then, the entire room gasps.
Four of spades.
Three of a kind for Skyler.
Everyone claps in a polite manner, but I can’t help letting out a whistle. Clinton follows up with a classic “Bear howl” until one of the ushers quiets us down.
She did it. I knew she would.
Skyler stands and shakes hands with her opponent, and I turn to Kip, wanting to tell him he better take that girl to celebrate. But when I do, he’s already talking to someone else.
Erin.
“You think you know her, but you don’t,” she says, her voice low, but just loud enough for me to overhear.
I furrow my brows, moving closer as my eyes flick to Skyler and back. She’s still shaking hands with other people at the table, oblivious to her Big standing so close to her boyfriend.
“You think she really likes you, but she only hooked up with you because I told her to. For me. I wanted you back, Kip, and I used her as bait to get you around more. I told her to date you. And I told her to kiss you. And I told her to invite you to the dance and to break up with you there, too. It was all a game.”
My stomach sinks, and when I look back at Skyler, there’s no denying she’s feeling the same thing. Her eyes are wide, locked on Erin, her face pale white.
“No,” Kip tries, shaking his head. “What we have is real. Skyler wouldn’t…”
“She wouldn’t?” Erin interrupts. Then, she gestures to Skyler. “Go ahead. Ask her.”
And when Skyler and Kip’s eyes lock, the guilt written all over her face, Kip shuts down. His eyes harden, his mouth flattening to a thin line, and without another word, he turns, pushing through the crowd.
“Kip! Wait!”
Skyler tries to run after him, but he’s already gone by the time she reaches us, and tears flood her eyes as she grabs Erin.
“What did you do?! What did you tell him?!”
Erin is stoic, her jaw set. “I told him about our deal, about everything. He needed to know, Little. It wasn’t fair for him to think what you have is real.”
“Damn, Ex,” Jess murmurs, stepping back. “That’s fucked up.”
I doubt Erin hears her. I doubt Skyler does, either. They just stare at each other, while the rest of us stare at them. I always knew Erin was tough, that she was uptight, and some would even say she’s a bit bitchy. But I never, never thought she would do anything to hurt Skyler.
“What the hell is wrong with you?!” Skyler yells, tears streaming down her cheeks.
“Why would you do this to me?! What we have is real, Erin. I’ve never felt anything more real in my life.
It was real before I knew you dated him that summer and it was real the whole time I was trying to play your stupid game. ”
Erin just stands straighter, unaffected. “He needed to know,” she repeats, but this time, her voice is softer — just a whisper.
Skyler backs away, her eyes like lasers. “I hate you,” she spits. “How dare you call yourself my Big. A Big is someone who loves their Little, sets an example for them, cares for them, guides them.” She shakes her head. “All you did was use me.”
Ashlei covers her mouth, tears in her own eyes as Jess grabs her other hand.
“Don’t ever talk to me again,” Skyler finishes, sniffing and wiping her cheek with the back of her wrist. Then, she turns, racing toward the elevators.
My eyes shoot to Clinton, sure he’d be the first to take off after her, but to my surprise, he’s pulling Erin away, consoling her under one arm as Ashlei holds Jess back.
“Just let her go. She needs to be alone.”
And that may be true, but I can’t let her. I can’t let her think she’s alone in this.
With one last glance toward the bathroom, Cassie still not emerging, I curse under my breath and take off sprinting.
Skyler is pushing the elevator button wildly when I reach her, and I wrap my arms around her from behind, shushing her as I try to soothe her cries.
“Shh, it’s okay. It’s okay, Sky. I’m here.”
When she hears my voice, she relaxes, and I hold her until the elevator door opens before ushering her inside.
She’s like a wild animal, her eyes rimmed in mascara as she tucks into the corner of the elevator.
I just watch her, wondering what to say, wondering what the hell happened between her, Kip, and Erin.
It’s apparent that what Erin said isn’t wrong, but it can’t be right.
There has to be more to it, a side yet to be seen.
When we reach the floor for Skyler’s room, she bolts off and I follow, slipping inside her room behind her. She immediately flops onto the bed, tucking her legs up and burying her face in her arms as more tears rack through her.
It’s hard to see Skyler Thorne broken. She’s the toughest girl I know, and nothing can get to her — least of all a guy. If I told anyone who wasn’t there tonight that a boy made her cry, made her lose her shit, no one would believe me. She’s untouchable, unstoppable, and unbreakable.
At least, she was.
Until tonight.
Until Kip Jackson.
I sigh, carefully sitting on the bed next to her and gently resting my hand on her back. “Are you okay?”
As soon as the words are out of my mouth, I curse, shaking my head as she cries harder.
Of course, she’s not okay, genius.
“I know, stupid question. I’m here, Skyler. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”
Skyler sniffs, turning until her wet cheek is resting on her knees. Our eyes meet for just a split second before there’s a soft click at the door. It swings open, and I expect to see Kip, or possibly Erin, but it’s neither.
It’s Cassie.
Her eyes are on Skyler first, her brows bent in worry, but when those emerald eyes float to me, they harden, all worry fading into anger.
“What are you doing here?”
Shit.
I swallow, taking my hand from Skyler’s back and holding them both up. “I just came to check on her.”
It’s the truth, and I shouldn’t feel guilty for that, but the way Cassie’s glaring at me tells me it’s a statement I’ll regret.
“Of course, you did.”
Her words are menacing, and my shoulders slump. I plead with her with my eyes, begging her to understand, to see that Skyler needed someone. I didn’t do anything inappropriate, nothing that a friend wouldn’t do.
I open my mouth to explain when Cassie cuts me off.
“Can you leave us alone, please?”
My throat tightens, but I nod, standing and offering Skyler one last look to let her know it’ll all be okay. That earns me an eye roll from Cassie and a stiff shove toward the door.
“Stay here,” she whispers to me when I’m outside the door, low enough that Skyler can’t hear. Her eyes are still shooting venom at me. “I have words for my Big, but you’re next.”
“Can—” I try, but the door slams shut, cutting my plea short.
Shit.
I sigh, running my hands back through my hair as my back hits the wall next to their door. I slide down, elbows meeting my knees, eyes on my shoes.
I fucked up.
Again.
No, I shouldn’t be sorry for making sure Skyler is okay, but the problem with that scenario is that, once again, I didn’t think of how my actions would affect Cassie before I made my move.
I ran after Skyler, wanting to make sure she was okay, when I could have easily waited a few more minutes for Cassie.
I could have ran to the bathroom, beat on the door or had someone go in after her.
We could have gone after Skyler together.
But none of that occurred to me in that moment.
I think it was my grandfather who always said hindsight is twenty-twenty, and it’s always easier to see our mistakes after they’ve already been made.
I’ve never wished for a time machine more.
I begged Cassie to trust me, to let me show her I loved her with my actions instead of my words. And just last night, I promised her I’d prove to her how much she meant to me.
I didn’t even make it twenty-four hours before fucking it all up.
I groan, knocking my head back against the wall. “Idiot.”
What are only minutes feel like hours as I wait for Cassie. I can’t hear what’s happening inside, but when the door does open, it swings back against their wall inside and Skyler takes off sprinting down the hall, not so much as a glance in my direction before she’s gone.
Cassie emerges next, her eyes on where Skyler just disappeared before they fall to me. I jump up, brushing my jeans off and moving toward her instinctively.
“Cassie, I—”
She just holds up her hand, eyes squeezed shut as she looks away from me. “No.”
“Please, just let me—”
“Explain?” She finishes, her eyes snapping back to me. “Why should I? Once again, you picked her over me, Adam. You left me behind to make sure she was okay.”
God. When she says it like that, it makes my stomach curdle like sour milk.
“I know,” I confess, swallowing. “I know, and I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking, I just saw how hurt she was and no one went after her and—”
“And so you did.”
My jaw clenches, and I shove my hands in my pockets, eyes dropping to the floor like the sad, guilty dog that I am.
“You told me to let actions speak louder than words,” she whispers. “Well, your actions have been screaming for months. I just haven’t listened.”
My chest splits open with her words, the truth of them cutting me like a knife. I shake my head, eyes watering as I find hers again. “Cassie, please. I’m sorry. Just give me—”
“I’m not giving you anything,” she spits, her own eyes flooding. “Not anymore. From this moment on, you have to earn it. You have to earn me.” Then, she turns, waving one hand behind her without another look in my direction. “Don’t follow me.”
And she doesn’t run. She doesn’t jog. She just walks, slowly and purposefully with her head held high — away. Away from me. Away from us.
All I can do is watch, falling more in love with every step she takes, my heart aching and reaching for her, begging my feet to move, my mouth to work. But I do as she asked. I don’t follow her. I just stand there, knowing in my heart the one and only gut-wrenching truth.
I blew it.