Cassie
“Please say something.”
Adam’s voice pierces through the ringing in my ears, the fog clouding my vision as I grip my phone tighter than necessary. I blink, over and over, processing what he’s said.
“I don’t know what you want me to say, Adam,” I finally whisper, sniffing back the urge to cry. I’m not sure if they would be sad or angry tears at this point.
“It’s not ideal, I know.”
“Not ideal?” I scoff, and Lindsey — my roommate — widens her eyes before closing her textbook and popping off her bed. She gives me a little wave to let me know she’s giving me space, and closes the door on her way out.
I grit my teeth.
“Not only are you saying that the trip to Colorado to see you that I’ve been looking forward to since the day we said goodbye is now not happening, but you’re also saying you’re going to have Thanksgiving with some other girl’s family.”
“In Baltimore,” he adds for me. “In order to secure a job that would put me there permanently.” There’s a long pause before he says, “With you.”
I shake my head. “Is there something going on with her? Are you…” Bile rises in my throat. “Are you cheating on me?”
My bottom lip wobbles with the question, and Adam curses. “Of course not. Baby, how could you even ask that?”
I don’t answer.
“Hey, look down. You see that silver chain and those two letters hanging around your neck?” he asks.
And I do. I wrap my fingers around the charm, closing my eyes and freeing a silent tear.
“That was a promise to you. A promise that I love you, more than anyone, and that I will be true to you. Always. You’re my person, Cassie.”
“But things change. You’ve been away for a whole semester almost, and you’ve spent so much time with this girl.” I sniff again. “I wouldn’t blame you if you… if you found other interests. If you outgrew me. If you…”
“Stop. Stop right there,” he says. “First of all, you would kill me if that were true, and you know it.”
I almost smile at that.
“Secondly, I love you. I miss you — and that’s exactly why this is important to me.
I know it sucks in the short term. It breaks my fucking heart to have to make this call,” he admits with a strained voice.
“But what if this is the key to us being together come spring? What if we could not only be in the same city, but in the same house?” He pauses. “Or apartment, or whatever.”
My heart squeezes at that. “You want to move in together?”
“If I get this job? Hell fucking yes, I do. I want to be able to kiss you every night before I go to sleep and kiss you as soon as my eyes open in the morning.”
I clutch my necklace, slumping back against the headboard. “I hate this.”
“I know. I do, too. I tried to do it through just a phone call, but… I mean, this is Simmons Snacks, Cassie. They’re a big deal.
They’re not going to be won over by a resume and some guy they don’t know on a phone call — if they would even take it.
But to Chandler, they aren’t Fortune 100 business owners — they’re Nana and PopPop.
It wouldn’t be an interview, it’d be a family meal, maybe a cigar and a glass with her grandfather. And maybe, a job offer.”
“This is a lot to give up for maybe.”
“It’s a sacrifice, yes,” he agrees. “And I hate asking you to make it. But I’m willing to, if it means I might have a chance to have a great job with a great company in the city where my amazing girlfriend is moving.”
My heart wars with my brain, logic and emotions clawing and hissing over who’s right and who’s wrong. In the end, it’s confusion who wins, and I slump even more.
“I’ll see you at Christmas,” he adds when I don’t respond. “That’s just one more month.”
My mouth tugs to the side. That is true, but it doesn’t change the fact that my Thanksgiving plans have been blown to smithereens.
And that he’s going to some other girl’s house for a holiday.
“Trust me,” he begs after another long silence, as if he can hear my thoughts shredding me apart. “I would never do anything to hurt you.”
And I know he’s right.
I know he’d never hurt me.
I nod even though he can’t see me, and then let out a long, slow sigh. “I trust you.”
We talk for a little while longer, and eventually, the tears dry up and I’m laughing and aching with how much I miss him. We end the call with a million I love you’s and I feel half-assured that everything really will be okay in the end.
The other half of me feels like a woman unhinged, like I’m teetering on the edge of a dangerous cliff.
I flop back on the bed, eyes losing focus as I stare up at the ceiling.
And then, I grab my phone and group text the girls.
Change of plans. Got room for one more?