Chapter 31
Gabe
Nothing I’d done had left me this nervous aside from leaving Tori and admitting the truth to her.
She was the only one who knew the real me, and now I had shared that truth with her family.
There were reasons no one knew my past aside from the news it would cause.
I didn’t want pity, didn’t need sad looks.
It was in the past, even if it had shaped me to be the man I was today.
I rubbed my arms at the cold as we stepped onto the deck. Tori’s father had grabbed a coat, but mine was still in the house. He leaned over the railing and looked out at the yard that was covered with a light dusting of snow.
“Do you love my daughter?”
Blunt and to the point. This was a man who could have given my father a run for his money, and now I saw why he had dared scold my father on his parenting skills.
“I never stopped loving her. The hardest thing I’ve ever done was leave her, but living without her these past years has been just as hard.”
“And Reid?”
“Is amazing, and I hate that he grew up without me, that she had to go through that without me by her side. If I’d known…
if my sister hadn’t been such a bitch that day, I would have given it all up.
I’ve thought about the what-ifs a million times since I found out he’s my son, and I would have fought my father, sold off my holdings if necessary to keep your business and Tori out of his crosshairs. ”
“It wouldn’t have stopped him.”
I sighed, tucking my hands under my arms to keep them warm. “No, it wouldn’t have, and Tori would have been miserable. Either way, she would have ended up hurt.”
“So you took the blame.”
Shrugging, I stared at a spot on the deck. “It made sense at the time. And…it still does. She’s thriving. Smart, talented, capable, and Reid is a reflection of that.”
“She pretends to thrive, but she was never the same after you left her. Reid helped. I guess he took away some of the pain, but the damage you left never healed.”
He leaned over the railing, rubbing his hands together.
“I know.” Because the damage had left gashes inside me that were only now healing with her back in my life.
“It takes a lot to sacrifice what you did and to admit the truth like you did. I don’t forgive the hurt you caused my daughter, but I understand your reasoning, and I will forgive when you prove yourself to her.”
“I’ll spend every day of my life proving it to her and to Reid.”
He looked over at me. “Then show us. You have the weekend, and this time, you can sleep in the guest room.”
“Understood.” Not that we were at the point of sharing a bed yet, but he didn’t need to know that.
“If you put her back together, make her whole again, I’ll walk her down the aisle and hand her off to you. If you don’t, I’ll support Cindy’s plan.”
Great, two threats to end my life in one day. I was beginning to suspect there was something I didn’t know about Tori’s family.
It took a while for the awkwardness to dissipate, but by the end of the night, I almost felt like I had the first time I’d met Tori’s family: welcome.
There were still a few side glances from her brother, but they lessened through the night.
His wife reminded me a lot of Tori, sweet, smart, and strong enough to keep him in line.
As everyone slowly filtered out of the living room, it left me alone with Tori. She and Brandi had tucked the kids in earlier, leaving me with her family, but Cindy’s chatter filled the void. As annoying as I’d found her when I’d first met her, I was thankful for her presence this time.
“Is your family in the mob?” I asked Tori, my fingers running through her hair. She was leaning on my chest, flipping channels on the television.
“No,” she said with a laugh. “Why?”
“Eh, just the few threats to my life I’ve received today.”
Her eyes popped up from under her tangle of hair. “They get a little dramatic, especially Cindy.”
“A little,” I scoffed.
She nestled her head back into my chest and returned to channel surfing.
“I remember that day,” I said as she landed on a cooking show. “At your parents’ resort.”
Blue irises peeked back up at me. “You do?”
“I do. I remembered when you first told me they owned it.”
She pushed herself up and folded her legs in front of her.
“You must have been four since I was about seven. Sprawled out in front of this enormous fireplace, you were intent on coloring your princess. Staying within the lines, of course.”
Her head tipped as she listened.
“You had pigtails and a pair of overalls on. I only remember because I’d never seen them before.
My father only allowed my sister to wear dresses, and I don’t think I owned a pair of jeans until I was old enough to buy them myself.
” I scratched my ear, remembering how curious I’d been about her.
“You looked up at me and gave me a smile before offering a crayon to me. We colored for a few minutes, and you asked me questions with no filter until my father dragged me away for acting like a child.”
“I don’t remember that,” she said, sadness stressing her words.
“You wouldn’t. You were too young.” I looked over at the television, where someone was preparing risotto.
The couch shifted, and Tori’s hand turned my face back to her. “It’s almost like our paths were meant to cross.”
My sight fell to her hands, and I took one, rubbing my thumb over her fingers.
“Maybe that’s what brought me back to you,” she continued. “So this isn’t really our second chance. It’s our third.”
My eyes lifted, meeting cornfield blue that knocked the air from my chest. “We were a little young that first time,” I teased.
“But what if your father hadn’t taken you away…”
Chuckling, I said, “We lived in different states and were just kids.”
Finger against my lip, she shushed me. “Don’t destroy my romanticized version of us with your reasoning. Just let me think this was meant to be.”
I took her hand and kissed her palm before pulling her into my arms. “Fine, you can keep thinking that, but this is still our second chance.”
Adjusting herself so she was straddling me, she took my face in her hands and kissed me. “Killjoy,” she murmured as I pulled her further into me.
My fingers tangled in her hair while my other hand ran the length of her body, stopping on her hip.
“Tori,” I groaned when she pressed down, grinding into me. “You’re making this very difficult.”
“I know,” she breathed.
Hand slipping below her shirt, I followed the curve of her waist. Her hands played in my hair, and I deepened our kiss, pushing her mouth closer.
There was no way I could take this slow, no way I would honor her father’s rule that I sleep in another room if I didn’t stop this.
But my body had craved her for so long that it seemed an impossible feat.
“Tori,” I tried again, forcing my hands from her skin and taking her waist. Pushing her back, I tried to ignore the pout of her swollen lips. “We can’t. Slow, remember? I promised you, and I’ll never break another promise to you.”
She nodded, smoothing my shirt out as her eyes followed the path of her hands. “Middle never seemed so far.”
I drew her head down and kissed it. “It won’t be forever.”
“No, it won’t, but maybe the middle wasn’t the right place to start.”
Lifting her head, I said, “I told you, Tori. There is no starting at the beginning with you. It’s impossible.”
Her fingers draped over my jaw. “I’m not asking for the beginning.”
My heart raced, but I tempered it. “If there’s any chance of losing you again, then I’m sticking to the middle.”
I drew a lock of her hair forward and ran it through my fingers, relishing the soft texture. Scooting from my hold, she stood and turned off the television before extending her hand to me.
“I need to show you something.”
The arch of my brow had her giggling. “Not that.”
I let her lead us up the stairs to her room, hating how clammy my hands were growing. Nerves were fighting for dominance as they careened through me for the second time this day. Dresses lay in disheveled piles around the room, streaming from the closet.
“Is there a prom dress fetish I should know about?”
She laughed and picked up a particularly sexy floor-length one with a slit down the leg. “This is the prom dress. The rest are from homecomings and college events.”
Imagining her in the dress was a mistake.
“Damn, I’m glad we didn’t go to school together because I would have fought off every other guy in that school to have you on my arm.
” A blush climbed her cheeks, and I had the urge to kiss them.
“I think I need to attend those black-tie charity events I always make Liv go to. Seeing you in something like that would make them tolerable.”
“Taking your CFO as your date might raise some eyebrows,” she said, hanging the dress in her closet.
“Not if she’s my girlfriend.”
She froze, her head slowly turning to me. My chest tightened. Had I moved too fast when I’d just told her we needed to slow down? A tug at the corner of her mouth had me relaxing, especially when it formed a complete smile.
“Is that still middle ground?” she asked.
Shrugging, I replied, “Closer to the end, but somewhere in the middle.”
“I like being back in that spot,” she said, hanging the dress.
My smile relieved the rest of my tension, and I felt like I’d moved one step closer to finally having her completely.
She gestured for me to come into the closet, and memories of the day I’d made love to her in our Jacksonville closet returned.
I paused my step, seeing recognition in her eyes accompanied by another flush of her cheeks.
“I want to show you something.”
I remained where I was, afraid that if I walked any further, I wouldn’t be able to control myself. “That’s not convincing me any better.”
With the shake of her head, she turned and dug behind the few dresses that remained in her closet.
“How many formals did you attend?” I asked, a streak of unreasonable jealousy striking me.
“I was popular in school,” she said.
And that hadn’t helped either, but then again, I hadn’t been a wallflower. Looking over at me, she grinned. “Just get in here and stop thinking about my past boyfriends. You’re included on that list, you know.”
With my lips pursed, I tried to give her one of my glares, but she softened me too much when I was with her, and so my look only caused her to giggle.
Walking into the closet, my step faltered when I saw what she wanted me to see.
Her wedding dress. Someone, most likely the kids, had pulled the zipper of the bag down, and the bottom half of the dress cascaded out of it.
I swallowed, unsure of the emotions that were barraging me. She had kept it just like I’d kept her ring.
“I couldn’t bring myself to give it up,” she admitted as if she had heard my thoughts.
“Cindy told me to sell it, but I couldn’t open it.
I never wanted to look at it again because I knew it would re-open the wounds.
But I couldn’t let it go. I almost donated it, but after sitting in the parking lot of the donation center and crying for thirty minutes, I drove it back home.
” She sniffled, and I hated that she was crying again because of me.
“It was one of the last pieces I had of you. That and Reid…and that stupid paper flower.”
My eyes flew from the dress to her. “You kept that?”
“I… Yes, it’s in Reid’s baby book.”
I moved closer to her, remembering the night I’d opened the bag, picturing how stunning she would have looked in it. How I was giving up any chance of happiness because I was leaving her that morning.
“I never opened the bag, Gabe.” She took something from her pocket. “Shelby likes to play dress up, and Reid pretends he’s her judge. I didn’t think they’d get this far into my closet.” I saw the desk chair pushed to the side, thinking it was a precarious way to reach it. “I never found it.”
My eyes flicked to her, then to her hand, where the note sat between her fingers. The one attempt to make what I’d done better. To give her something so I wouldn’t leave her so devastated. As if that had even been possible.
“It wouldn’t have helped,” I said. “Not like I wanted it to.”
“It might have, just a little. I wanted to believe you still loved me, but it was so hard, especially after that phone call.”
Damn Liv for her interference. “You still would have doubted it, even with the note.” My sister had ensured that.
She moved closer to me, her blue orbs misty. “Let’s make a deal.”
I cocked my head to the side. “I’m listening.”
“We leave the past, the mistakes, the assumptions, the pain behind us.”
“Can you?” Because I didn’t think it was that easy for either of us.
“You’ve carried your guilt, suffered in silence for too long, and I’ve carried the pain for too long.
We both have wounds that won’t heal if we don’t let go.
” Her hand rested on my chest as she crossed the remaining steps between us.
“I don’t want to live with it anymore. I’m tired of being sad, of being hurt.
” Tears glimmered in her eyes, and it killed me because I was always the cause.
“I love you, Gabe. It never went away. Maybe it faded some behind the pain, but it was always there, and I knew it would never cease the day I saw you in the lobby. You are my soulmate, and I can’t live without you because it’s like there’s a hollowness that never fills, a piece of me I can’t find because you own it.
I don’t want to experience that emptiness anymore. ”
Reaching my hand around her neck, I brought her mouth to mine, the kiss burning through me like wildfire that destroyed the echoes of pain and turned them to ash.
“I love you, luna mia. I always will.” My words were a murmur between kisses, the thrumming of my pulse making them distant as my heart healed completely.