Chapter 12
TWELVE
ADDIE
I stare at the door, keeping my expression neutral until I can no longer hear JJ’s footsteps in the hall. Then I let out the longest breath and grip my hand. It’s so fucking sore.
Stupid Addie. So fucking stupid.
I know better. I know not to catch a freaking puck like that. Not one being rifled as hard as that one was and especially not without gear. That’s how a person breaks bones. That’s how careers end.
I may not have a hockey career anymore, but I still need my hand.
Overwhelming emotions swirl inside me with nowhere to go. I want to tell JJ that yeah, I’d like to be friends. That I’d love that pizza. But too much has happened.
He chose Tabitha.
Or…whatever, it doesn’t matter anymore. The point is, he’s not my friend. We’re…colleagues. I’m his damn coach. He can’t go around defending my honor and acting like he’s not the reason it needed to be defended in the first place.
If he hadn’t…
No, I’m not going there. I refuse to look backward. Maybe Dirk wouldn’t have happened if JJ had chosen me, but he didn’t and Dirk did happen. And then my world blew up.
I can’t let the two of them do that to me again.
I need this job to work out. More than that, I want it to.
When another knock makes the door rattle, I drop my head and groan.
“Go home, JJ.”
The door swings open, and Uncle Brooks steps in. “Can we talk?”
I nod. I should have expected he’d be here. He sees too much. This day keeps getting better and better.
Settling in the chair across from me, he folds his arms over his chest. “How’s the hand?”
I glance down at it, trying to ignore the way it throbs. “Fine.”
His face darkens, his usually even expression slipping. “Have you had it looked at?”
“Yeah, nothing’s broken.”
“Luckily,” he growls in a tone that makes him sound like my dad.
Shit. I’ve never seen him so upset.
“It’s just bruised. And I know it was stupid. I shouldn’t have caught the puck.”
Head hung, he shakes it. “You know better, Addie. You could have been really hurt.”
I suck in a breath to keep my emotions in check. Knowing I’ve disappointed him makes me want to cry. “I know. I swear, I—” I blow out a breath. “Sometimes I still feel like that fourteen-year-old girl again. Like I have to prove myself to these guys.”
“Is it Dirk? Is there something I should know about him?” His voice has softened again, reminding me that he wouldn’t judge me if I told him the truth.
But I can’t.
I can’t go back to that time. Can’t go back to that night.
Keeping my focus on my desk, I straighten the small stack of papers to my left. “Just old training stuff. He can be a dick on the ice, but I can handle him.”
“Addie, I want to step in but it’s not my place. If the guys are going to respect you, then the punishment, the leadership, all of that has to come from you.”
I angle forward and can’t help but let my frustration bleed into my words. “I know.”
“And JJ…”
“What about him?”
Brooks blows out a breath. “Is something going on between the two of you?”
“What?” I say as a strained laugh escapes me.
“Are you sleeping together, Addie?”
My face heats. Talk about awkward. “Uncle Brooks.”
“I can’t help you if you aren’t honest with me. He’s a player, you’re his coach.”
“He’s married.” I can’t even believe we’re having this conversation.
He rolls his eyes like that’s irrelevant.
Why does no one get how that part matters? A lot.
“On paper only.”
“And that paper is pretty freaking important. I’m sure Aunt Sara would agree.”
“Our marriage is nothing like his.”
I cross my arms and push back in my chair. “How so?”
“Because we married for love, Addie, and we all know why JJ married Tabitha.”
I look away. I can’t think about that day. Can’t think about any of this. “Nothing is going on.”
“Addie.”
I snap straight again. “I swear. Blame your brother for inviting him to move in with us. I’m trying to keep the lines professional, but it’s hard when he’s everywhere.”
My uncle tilts his head, those deep green eyes seeing far too much. “Because you have feelings for him.”
“No.” I reel back. “God, why does everyone keep saying that?”
“Because you aren’t rational when it comes to him and you’re the most rational goalie I’ve ever known.”
I huff out a breath. “Stop blowing smoke up my a—”
“Duck.”
I snort. I can’t help it. My uncle knows precisely how to make me smile.
“We’re at work. I can surely say a—”
“Duck.”
“Oh my god, Uncle Brooks.” Falling back against my chair, I laugh.
He does too, the tension in the air dissipating.
Then I blow out a breath. “I’m trying. It’s just not easy.”
He hums thoughtfully. “I know that. I had a major issue with my coach back in the day. I didn’t handle it well.
It wasn’t good for me, and it wasn’t good for the team.
You need to figure this out, Addie girl.
Because this job, it’s yours to win, but it’s also yours to lose.
And if you can’t get those guys to respect you—” He motions toward the door.
“Then we’re going to have a different conversation next time. ”
Stomach sinking, I nod. “I get it. And I’m coming up with a plan.”
He smiles as he stands. “That doesn’t surprise me. If anyone can do this, it’s you.”
When the door shuts behind him, I realize I actually do need to come up with a plan. And soon.