Chapter 13
THIRTEEN
JJ
Bray: How’s the fist, tough guy?
Finn: Who’s fist? Did someone get in a fight? Dammit, I miss all the fun stuff when I’m traveling.
Theo: Not me. Can’t put this pretty face in jeopardy by fighting.
Bray: Lover boy JJ. He punched another goalie defending Addie’s honor.
Finn: Who are we beating up?
Theo: I suppose I can risk my face for Addie girl.
I groan as the texts roll in. Fucking Bray is a bigger gossip than all the girls in this house combined. It’s always the quiet ones.
Me: My fist is fine and there’s no one to beat up. I took care of it.
Finn: Course you did. Thanks, man.
Me: Always.
Bray: And there won’t ever be again because we’re not fighting our own teammates to protect our COACH.
Me: Dirk will NEVER be our teammate. I promise you that.
Theo: I feel like drinks are in order when I get to town. I’m definitely missing a story.
Bray: I’m down.
Finn: Always.
Me: Let us know when you’re coming, cousin.
“I’m starving.” Avery throws her body onto my lap on the couch with a dramatic groan.
“Me too,” Declan says, falling to the floor.
Lips turned down, Beck assesses me. “I’m hungry, but I’m not doing that.”
“Addie is bringing dinner. She’ll be here soon,” Winnie calls as she descends the stairs, having swapped her work clothes for sweats and a T-shirt.
We tagged Vivi out a few minutes ago, and she beelined for the door immediately.
Can’t blame her. I can’t imagine being stuck with six kids all day long by myself.
Hope is home too. The baby is sleeping, and she and her older girls are out back feeding and playing with the raccoons.
Raccoons. I shake my head. The Langfields have had them for as long as I’ve known them. Doesn’t make it any less weird.
A car door slams out front, and Winnie heads to the foyer. “There’s your auntie now.”
Nerves swamp me, making my stomach clench. Is she still pissed? It’s been a few hours, so if I’m lucky, she’s cooled down.
“Oh my god, that smells so good. Also, did you buy out the joint?” Winnie’s voice floats down the hallway.
When a wall of pizza boxes with legs marches into the room, I jump up and take them. To my surprise, Adeline lets me without biting my head off.
“Where’s Antonio’s?” Winnie asks, squinting at the name on top of the boxes.
Adeline’s eyes go to mine when she answers. “Off Commonwealth.”
My heart is suddenly in my throat again. She went to Antonio’s? Why?
“Isn’t that across town?” Winnie says with a frown.
Adeline frowns back, the resemblance between the two easy to spot. “Um yeah?”
“Why would you go so far out of the way?” Winnie grumbles.
“They make good pizza,” Adeline retorts.
“It’s my daddy’s favorite,” Avery chirps.
I peek over my shoulder, pizza boxes in hand, and smile at my girl, who’s still sprawled out on the couch. The way she looks up at me, like she adores everything about me, has my heart swelling.
“See? Told you it’s good.” Addie sticks out her tongue at her sister.
“I want pizza,” Declan shouts.
“Me too,” Beck joins in.
The door to the kitchen opens and Hope appears with Gracie and Mari in tow.
“We got pizza,” Avery tells her cousin, her voice unnecessarily loud.
“Go sit at the counter and we’ll bring your pizza to you,” Hope tells them with her sunshiny smile. She guides the girls and the twins into the kitchen while I follow Addie over to the counter to set the pizzas down. “You got a lot of pizza.”
She glances at me, practically expressionless. “Hadn’t been there in a while. I might have gone a little overboard.”
“Ya think?” The ache in my chest eases, allowing me to laugh.
Adeline pushes a box my way. “I got the hero his favorite.”
“Hero, huh?” Smirking, I open the pizza box, and at the sight of the extra pepperoni, my mouth waters.
“So the rumor is true?” Hope asks, suddenly standing a couple of feet behind us. “You beat up one of the other goalies for looking at Addie?”
“How do you know that?” Winnie asks, taking the words right out of my mouth.
Hope’s lips twitch. “Your brother.”
“Traitor,” I groan. “And that’s not what happened.”
Adeline smirks. “Nope, he defended my honor after one of the players was being a di—” She slams her mouth shut, her eyes going wide.
“What’s a di?” Beck asks.
“A duck is what she meant.” Winnie doesn’t miss a beat, and she doesn’t turn around. She’s too busy glaring at her sister.
“Oh, those are no good,” Declan tells us. “Grandpa only says that word when he’s really mad.”
“Well, I was really mad,” Adeline explains. “He was being a total duck.”
“I really don’t love the duck thing,” I mutter.
“Just go with it,” Winnie prods as she picks up the cheese pie and shuffles over to the kids. “It’ll get easier.”
Adeline leans in, eyeing my pizza. “You going to share some of that with me?”
Her scent washes over me, making my chest constrict. “Is this like an apology pizza?”
She tilts her head back and forth. “More like an olive branch.”
Nodding, I smile at her. “I can work with that.”
She dips her chin. “Good.”
“Good.”
With her lip caught between her teeth, she lifts those big brown eyes to mine. “Any chance we can talk after the kids go to bed?”
“Of course.”
“Daddy, where’s my pepperoni?” Avery calls. The rest of the kids have slices of cheese on their plates, but she’s my girl through and through, so she must have what I have. God, I love her.
“You gotta share with Avery too,” I tell Adeline.
She laughs softly. “My kinda girl.” She snags the box from in front of me and walks away. “Look what I got, Avey girl. Extra pepperoni just for you and me.”
“Hey,” I call, feigning annoyance. In reality, I wouldn’t care if they ate every freaking slice. Because Adeline isn’t ignoring me anymore. And Avery is smiling.
It takes longer than I’d like to get through our bedtime routine.
The kids are wired and Avery once again can’t get ahold of Tabitha.
When we FaceTime my brother, he cheers her up by doing impressions of every animal known to man.
I love him and he’s a great uncle, but I’m dying to talk to Adeline, and as the time ticks closer to ten, my chances dwindle.
The woman’s bedtime routine is stricter than the kids’.
I don’t blame her, since she gets up so early every morning, but I need to hear what she has to say. And maybe say a few things of my own.
Like I’m sorry. What the hell happened between the two of us? How did we get here and how the hell do we fix it?
When Avery finally closes her eyes, I quietly tiptoe out of the room.
“Night, JJ,” one of the twins calls as I’m pulling the door closed.
I chuckle. Of course they’re still awake. “Night, boys.”
My pulse thumps as I head to Adeline’s bedroom. I pause outside the closed door and take in a couple of deep breaths. Then I knock. When there’s no response, my heart free falls. Dammit. She’s already asleep.
I rub my face, trying to fight off a wave of aggravation.
The time I spend with Avery, giving her what she needs, is never wasted.
I was where I needed to be. But it still stings that once again I’ve missed out on an opportunity with Adeline, small as it could have been, because my daughter needed me.
That will never change, though. I’ll never not pick Avery. She’ll always be the priority. Not that I think Adeline expects anything different.
It’s exactly what she pushed me to realize years ago. What she knew would happen the moment I met my daughter.
I stare at her door for a few more seconds, my shoulders slumping, then give up. There’s always tomorrow.
As I reach my bedroom door, a little blue sticky note snags my attention. And when I recognize the writing on it, my mood lifts.
Meet me on the roof—A
It’s probably really bad that my heart trips over itself over a little note. I shouldn’t feel this way. Shouldn’t allow this hope to grow. Shouldn’t get so excited about having even a few minutes with the one woman I’ve never stopped thinking about.
But for years, I lived for our moments. Sometimes I think maybe that’s why I loved hockey so much.
Because during the season, we saw each other just about every damn day.
Summer was brutal. She traveled with her family.
I traveled with mine. After we graduated, those moments became even more infrequent. But our talks continued.
I could spend hours on the phone with her, talking about absolutely nothing. Sometimes just listening to her breathe was enough for me.
Hands fisted, I remind myself not to run as I take the steps up to the roof.
The rooftop is just as impressive as the rest of the house, with a canopy of twinkling lights over several outdoor couches.
The oversized fireplace is lit, and Adeline sits on the edge of it, eyes on the sky, like she’s making a wish.
For a moment I just stare at her. At the woman who’s owned me for at least half my life.
I wish I hadn’t wasted so many years trying to fight my feelings for her.
Wish I hadn’t been so scared to ruin our friendship.
Fucking happened anyway. Dating other women only taught me that she was the only one I wanted.
I should have told her that sooner. Should have risked it all before I got drafted and found myself a world away from her while she continued her own life in college.
I’d give anything to change our story. Or at least the ending. Maybe there’s still a chance I can. Maybe we’re not over.
She’s in an oversized Bolts sweatshirt that falls off one shoulder, exposing her smooth skin, her tiny sleep shorts dotted with little stars.
Her long hair is down, the soft breeze blowing several strands into her face.
She runs her hands through it, pushing it back again.
That’s when she spots me, a tentative smile hitting her lips as she waves me over.
I consider the setup. A bottle of Hanson whiskey. Nice touch. And two tumblers. “You mean business, huh?” I tease.
She grins. “Well, this is about our careers, right?”