Chapter 22
Chapter Twenty-Two
ELIZABETH
The smell of musty books and old paper circulates in the air as I walk through the library, looking for the study room Meredith reserved for us. Once I find room three, I turn on the lights and get situated. Our first major assignment for Professor Hallenger’s class is to read South Pole Station and write an essay about pop culture’s treatment of global warming.
Since I have time to kill while I wait for Meredith and Trevor to arrive, I ponder over the past couple of days. I had a lot to talk about with Dr. Clairemont during our biweekly session yesterday. Mostly about Ryder, but also about how things were better between Jayson and me and how much fun I was having with Julien. I haven’t had any more memory flashes, and the reprieve has been wonderful.
I found another silver origami star in my bag last night. The inside said: “ Love is not written on paper, for paper can be erased. Nor is it etched on stone, for stone can be broken. But it is inscribed on a heart, and there it shall remain forever .”
Ryder hasn’t said anything to me about them, and I don’t want to ruin his romantic gesture by bringing it up.
During my break between classes today, Ryder treated me to a picnic lunch in a secluded garden located next to the biology building. When I saw him waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs of Mason Hall, basket in one hand and a single yellow rose in the other, my silly heart swelled to bursting.
I’ve been falling for Ryder since the moment he approached me in the student center. My memory be damned because my feelings are real. I felt them that day. I’ve felt them every time we’re together. I’ve felt them with every word he has spoken. And I definitely felt them when we kissed.
Ryder and I spent our garden picnic talking about everything and nothing. He rested his head on my lap and entertained me with stories from when we were younger. I laughed when he told me about his sister Brea and her obsession with American Girl dolls. I felt exhilarated when he told me about racing at the Fields and how he loved to impress me by doing crazy tricks on his bike. I loved hearing about his plans to finish college with an MBA and take over his dad’s auto garage.
Unfortunately, our time ended too soon, and he walked me to my next class with a promise to call me tonight after my study group.
I look up when Meredith strides into the room, a whirlwind of motion, her arms weighed down with books and a giant backpack slung over her shoulder. Trevor is right behind her.
“Hope we aren’t late. Are we late?”
“Right on time. I was early.”
Trevor takes the chair opposite me. “Hey, Wildcat.”
“Hey, Trevor.”
With a dramatic sigh, Meredith drops everything onto the table and pulls out a chair, scraping it noisily against the floor as she sits. “I thought we could pool resources. It would make things easier.”
That’s actually a good idea.
I tap my tablet to life, its screen flickering as I bring up the notes I’ve been working on. “I’ve already found a few articles I think might be interesting, and I was going to watch An Inconvenient Truth later for some background context.”
She pulls out a stack of stapled papers from her backpack. “I love movie nights. My dorm’s got this awesome theater room with a massive wall screen. We could watch it together. What about this Friday?”
Before I can stop myself, the words tumble out. “I’ve got a date on Friday.”
Meredith freezes for a beat, her mouth slightly open. Then, without warning, she lets out a deafening shriek so loud that a few students walking past the open door stop to see what the commotion is about.
“I knew it! It’s that hot guy from the cafeteria, isn’t it? Just friends, my ass.”
“We are friends,” I insist, which is the truth. Just not the entire truth.
Meredith leans over the table, a sly grin spreading across her face. “Then why are you blushing like crazy?”
Trevor, who has been quietly flipping through the book, glances up. “If Elizabeth wants to talk about it, she will. It’s none of our business. We’re here to work on the assignment, not discuss her love life.”
I give him a grateful look. “Thank you.”
Meredith dramatically flops back in her chair. “You guys are no fun.”
The next two hours fly by as we brainstorm ideas and break down the thematic elements of the book. Trevor is a fount of knowledge from his marine biology classes and drops scientific tidbits that add depth to our understanding of environmental issues. By the time we pack up to leave, my head is buzzing with ideas, and I’ve managed to hammer out a solid outline for my paper.
“Anyone need a chaperone?” Trevor asks.
Meredith is quick to jump on his offer. “Do you mind walking me to my dorm?”
Oh, she’s smooth. Good for her for taking the initiative.
“Not at all. Elizabeth, what about you?”
Meredith gestures to someone standing outside the glass windows of our study room. “I think she already has her ride.”
A million different emotions surge through me when I see Ryder casually leaning against one of the stacks, looking downright mouthwatering in a black tee stretched taut across his muscular chest and his jeans-clad legs crossed at the ankles.
He looks up from his phone and gives me a smile that makes me stupidly giddy.
“See you guys later,” I say to Meredith and Trevor and practically skip out of the room. Stopping in front of Ryder, I can’t contain the wide grin that overtakes my face. “I wasn’t expecting you to be here.”
He tucks his phone away and brushes the back of his finger down the side of my upturned face. “Thought I’d surprise you.”
I grab hold of his front belt loops but don’t lean in to kiss him, even though I’m dying to. I know we have an audience, so I try to behave myself.
“It’s the best surprise.”
“What’s up?” Trevor greets him.
Meredith pushes in front of him. “Hi. I don’t know if you remember me from the other day.”
“Meredith, right?”
“That’s me,” she replies and elbows Trevor. “Are you ready?”
“You know that you’re not being subtle at all, right?”
“More subtle than you’re being.”
Meredith gives me a big bear hug, and the guys do that fist bump thing that I find weird.
“See ya around, Wildcat,” Trevor says as Meredith pulls him toward the elevator bay.
“After sitting for two hours, I need to stretch my legs. Stairs?” I ask.
Ryder takes my bag and places a possessive hand on my lower back as we walk toward the back exit door that leads to the stairwell.
Once outside, I breathe in the honeysuckle-infused night air and am surprised at how busy the campus still is at nine o’clock at night.
“Good night, Elizabeth!” I hear Meredith yell from across the quad.
I wave and then settle my hand in Ryder’s when he reaches for it.
“I’m right, you know,” he says.
“Right about what?”
“Trevor likes you.”
I spin around and fist his shirt in my hands, because let’s face it, my hands won’t pass up any opportunity to touch this man.
As I walk backward, tugging him along with me, I tell him, “Even if he was—which he isn’t—I’m yours.”
He stops my backward momentum when we reach our parked cars. The humidity hangs heavy with a tinge of ozone as lightning flashes somewhere in the distance from a lone cumulonimbus cloud.
“I really, really like the sound of that.”
I feel my back being gradually pressed up against the cool metal of my car as Ryder slowly pushes into my body. He hasn’t done anything more than that, and I’m already desperate for him.
Dipping down, Ryder rubs our noses together and inhales deeply. “You still use jasmine lotion.”
Nuzzling his neck, I hum my yes against his skin.
Not wanting to let him go, I suggest, “Would you like to follow me home? I could whip us up something to eat.”
“I could eat,” he replies in a tone that alerts me that his words mean more than their literal translation.
The dizzying feeling of being lifted and settled causes me to giggle as Ryder’s body lands on top of mine, his mouth eagerly falling on my collarbone to deliver a flurry of open-mouthed kisses that have me writhing underneath him.
“I thought you were hungry,” I pant out.
“I am.”
A single bright light flashes outside, followed by a boom of thunder, the sound rattling my apartment windows.
We barely made it inside my apartment before we attacked each other. The living room couch was as far as we got.
Needing to feel his skin against mine, I impatiently tug at his shirt. Ryder gets the message and yanks it over his head, tossing it somewhere over the sofa.
“Help me with mine.”
“Patience,” he taunts, and I scowl at him.
He nips my stomach with his teeth, and my scowl turns into a sigh of pleasure. His thumbs go under the edge of my tank top, and he pushes it up…higher…higher. The anticipation is killing me.
And then, he stops.
The scars.
He stares at the long, red line running up the middle of my abdomen, tears glossing his eyes, and my stomach drops.
“Ryder…”
I don’t have time to feel self-conscious because he says, “You are so beautiful.” He trails his finger along the raised ridge and presses a tender kiss to my navel. “So damn strong.”
This man. This wonderful goddamn man.
My own tears gather, but I refuse to let them fall. I won’t give anything more to the monster who left his horrible marks on me. He stole so much from me already. I won’t let him have this sweet moment, too.
Ryder’s gaze moves to my side, and I tense at his sharp intake of breath when he sees the tattoos that mask the other knife wounds.
“Elizabeth.” His whisper is full of emotion as he touches each broken butterfly. Beautiful reminders of that ugly night.
Those tears I’ve been trying to hold back release in a torrent when I see his eyes cloud over with pain, a single teardrop running down his masculine cheek. I’m completely undone at how this strong man shows me his softer side.
I love you .
The words want to burst out.
“You are so brave,” he says and brushes kisses along one scar. “So strong.” He repeats his gentle ministrations on the other two. “Never hide these from me.”
I can’t take it anymore. My body is overheated and stimulated to the point of no return. I need to feel him against my bare skin. I need his kisses to heal the rest of me. I need him.
“Ryder.”
His name is a plea. A benediction.
With frantic motion, I grapple with my shirt and pull it off.
Using one hand, he locks my wrists above my head and slides his other hand, palm flat, up the length of my torso, the rough pads of his calluses inciting trails of molten fire across my skin. His fingers twist the front clasp of my bra, and it falls open. Ryder licks his lips, his visual hunger devouring me with smoldering eyes, and I squeeze my thighs closed to ease the ache between them.
“Every part of you is absolutely beautiful.”
He lowers his head to take my lips and kisses the hell out of me.
Another crack of lightning, followed closely by a long roll of thunder, plays out like a drumbeat to our frantic movements.
“What’s that John Mayer song?” he murmurs, kissing up the swell of my breast. “‘Your Body Is a Wonderland,’” he says and takes a nipple into his mouth, sucking it with gentle pressure.
When his tongue joins in, I don’t think I’ve ever felt anything so wonderful.
He tortures me with pleasure, his mouth unrelenting, as he kisses back and forth across my chest, making sure to give each breast equal attention.
The sensations are so intense, I can feel my orgasm building, and it makes me excitedly afraid to find out what will happen when we have sex for the first time. And yes, I’m thinking when and not if.
As he seduces me with his tongue, I press my lips to any part of him my mouth can reach. He releases my bound wrists, and my hands don’t know where to touch him first, every inch of him feels so good. The heat coming off his skin. The juxtaposition of hard and smooth. The way his back muscles bunch under my fingers.
I’m not prepared for the love bite he delivers to my breast, but the moan that comes out is pornographic.
His knowing fingers move under my shorts and past the top of my panties. I know what he’ll find. I’m soaked, and swollen, and so ready for him. If he touches me there now, I’m going to come embarrassingly quick.
“Jesus,” he hisses when he swipes a finger between my folds.
That one soft caress has my entire body spasming. A drawn-out vocal emission of rapture erupts from deep in my chest when he adds another finger and presses inside me, holding me suspended on that cusp of fulfillment but not letting me tip over just yet.
Cupping me intimately, his thumb strums my clit like a skilled musician. My hips raise off the couch and ride his hand, the loudest moan escaping my parted lips when he finally curls his fingers inside me, hitting a place that makes me see stars.
“God, I love hearing you make those sounds.”
The thunderstorm that had been building outside bursts open in a crescendo of lightning strikes and booming thunder. It’s like Mother Nature is giving us our own personal fireworks display and matching our passion with its intensity.
Just as my body is about to detonate, a memory flies forward.
When the finale of the fireworks begins, my muscles lock, and I moan out his name, my cries of pleasure drowned out by the cacophony detonating above us.
“You were right,” I sigh.
He rolls us over on the towel and holds me in his arms. “Right about what, baby?”
“We did make our own fireworks.”
Between what Ryder’s doing and the memory flash that hits me out of the blue, my orgasm comes out of nowhere. I feel like I’m being ripped apart in the most magnificent way as wave after wave of pleasure assails me from all directions, my body shuddering uncontrollably as my climax pulses and rolls through me.
Ryder cups my mound, trying to soothe the tumultuous ache that doesn’t seem to want to end. He finds my lips and kisses me softly, gradually easing me down from a high I never want to descend.
When my shudders finally subside, I open my eyes and trace the contours of his handsome face with my fingertips.
“Holy shit,” I breathe out.
“I think that was one of the hottest fucking things I have ever seen.”
“I think that was one of the hottest fucking things I’ve ever felt,” I reply. “I would so love to return the favor.”
I rub the hard length of him straining against the fly of his jeans.
Ryder groans into our next kiss. “Tonight was for you, baby.”
“Next time?” I ask hopefully.
“Abso- fucking -lutely.”
He takes my mouth with gentle abandon, over and over, until my lips are kiss-swollen.
We spend the rest of the evening lying tangled together on my sofa, my head on his chest, until I eventually fall asleep to the sound of his heartbeat.
Right before my mind drifts away into slumber, another memory slips in.
All our next times , Jayson’s voice whispers.