39. CHAPTER 39
I t’s over.
It’s all over.
I’ve got maybe ninety minutes before all hell breaks loose.
Hunched over the rug, I open my eyes to the shadowed wet patch made by my tears.
I wanted more time.
I’m not ready to leave.
What if Tek brings Mom and Dad?
If that happens it’ll be straight to the airport where I’ll be forced onto the next flight to Korea.
No asking what I want.
Straight back into everyone else making decisions for me.
Eden could fight off Tek. But not my father as well.
Or my mother's words.
They’re the worst of all.
“Let’s run away.”
I know he’s there, so why won’t he answer me?
“Eden?” I slowly raise my head. “What the hell are you doing?”
I clamber towards him.
His focus is like steel.
“Seriously? You’re… Right now?”
It’s like I’m not even here.
Not a side character.
Not even an NPC.
I kneel up.
“Eden?”
I wave my hand in front of his face.
Am I losing my mind?
“You’re insane!”
He re-inks the needles.
“You didn’t sterilize them!”
“I ate your ass last night.”
“That’s beside the point, and you know it.”
I try to snatch the stick from his hand, but his other pushes me so hard I fall backwards.
I wince as my weeping back slaps against the floorboards. And like a robot, he keeps on working.
I rush back towards him. “Quit being an asshole, and look at me!”
“I’m not an asshole.” It’s monotone, and dry as hell.
“You’re ignoring me.”
“I’m not ignoring you.”
Clenching my fists, I double over and scream out my frustrations as loud as I can.
He doesn’t flinch.
He just takes the cloth and wipes away the excess ink.
And then I see it.
?
“What the fuck is wrong with you?”
I stand in silence, and watch as he starts ?; the Hangul letter for ‘i’.
“You’re a fucking idiot!”
He dips for more ink. “I’m not an idiot.”
“Then why would you do that!?”
He whispers his answer but only his chest hears it.
“My god, you frustrate me so much. How do you even know how to—”
“Because you’re my fucking boyfriend!” he shouts, and I feel it rumble through my whole body. “I’ve been obsessed with you for months, of course I know how to spell your fucking name in Korean!”
“Fuck you. Don’t talk to me like that!”
“No, fuck you! I know I screwed up, but it’s done now.”
“So why put my name on your leg?”
“Because I fucking love you, Jin!”
“I’m right here.”
“And when you’re not, I…” With a shake of his head, all the passion fades from his eyes and he looks back down to his leg.
“When I’m not, what? I don’t wanna go anywhere.”
“I can’t fight him.”
“What are you saying?”
“I can’t fight him.”
“So fight for me. ”
“I love you.”
“I know. I love you, too, but— fuck. ” I look left and right like the answers will pop out of thin air. “Oh, fuck it.” Frustrated, I run to the cupboard beneath the stairs and pull down my duffle bag from the top shelf. “Let’s go.”
“Where are you going?”
“Where am I going?”
“That’s what I said.”
“Stop being like this. Pack some things and let’s get out of here.”
“I’m not leaving.”
“What the hell, Eden?” My bag thuds as I throw it against the stairs in anger. “You’re a fucking liar!”
“No I’m not.”
“Yes you are. You said you’d fight for me. You said that nothing would ever stop us from being together. And now you’re… you’re chicken shit! You’re the little man, just sitting there like our lives aren’t about to blow the fuck up.”
“And how do you suppose your brother will feel when he shows up and we’re not here?”
Like a drowning fish, my mouth flaps, but I’m floundering.
If I’m being honest, I don’t really care how Tek feels right now. I mean, I wish it was more accepting and a lot less homicidal, but his opinions don’t change the way I feel about Eden. I don’t want to lose my brother, but I will if it means I get to remain happy.
“Can you come and sit down with me, please?”
“No… No! I’m not going to—”
“I need to clean your back.”
“I don’t care about my back.”
“I do.”
“Ahhhhh!” I scream again at the top of my lungs. “Show some fucking emotion!”
Eden clenches the tattoo stick so hard in his hand I’m shocked the metal isn’t bending in his grip. His body… It’s not shaking, it’s… vibrating.
His head remains down, but his eyes look up at me.
“This is the only thing stopping me from burning this cabin to the ground with the both of us inside it. So I’m gonna need you to calm the fuck down before I do something I’ll regret.”
My chin quivers. “I don’t wanna calm down.”
“I will tear your family apart if they try to keep you from me, Jin. But I don’t wanna do that. I don’t wanna make your life harder. I…” His eyes drop back to his leg to finish?, the last letter of my name. “I promised you I wouldn’t be that man anymore.”
“But this is different. I can see how much you’re hurting, so let it out.
I wanna see you mad. Just as mad as you were when I first showed up.
I don’t want you to hurt me, but I do want you to fight for me.
I fell for you while I still had bruises around my neck, now it’s your turn for some.
I want you just as covered in them as I was because you promised me that nothing in the entire world would ever stop us from being together. ”
“I’m…” Eden drops the tattoo stick and looks at his hands. He turns them over, then balls them into tight fists. “I’m so scared.”
Tentatively, at first, I take a step closer, but before I know it I’m kneeling in front of him. “I’m scared, too.”
“No…” He looks me dead in the eyes, and all I wanna do is crawl inside his chest so he can protect me. “I’m not scared of losing you… I’m scared of what I might do to make sure it doesn’t happen.”
I’d be terrified if I didn't feel his love for me gushing out of his body and straight into mine.
He was such a monster, so cruel in the way he tortured me.
I know what he’s capable of.
And this anger, this is what I needed from him.
I’ll help him set the cabin on fire so we can fuck in the warmth of the flames.
“Are you scared for me, or for you?” I ask, and as I do, I brush back the hair hanging in his face, then hold the back of his head.
He leans into my grip. “I don’t know.”
“Don’t worry about me. My parents can hate me all they want.”
“But—”
I silence him by yanking his hair as I kneel above him.
His eyes are cloudy as he stares up at me.
I can still feel every bit of tension in him, like he hasn’t taken a breath since he let my name slip out.
Leaning closer, my own hair falls forward. My eyes travel from his nose, to his lips, and then to the darkness of his blown out pupils. “Do what you need to do.”
His fingertips touch my sides like he’s not sure if I’m really there, only to grip my waist a second later to pull me in. And my god is he desperate.
If shit wasn’t already on the fan, I’d be getting the fucking of my life.
So much of me still wants it, though.
I love him like this.
So hungry for me.
So consumed.
“Eden,” I pant out between kisses. “We need to stop.”
He mumbles, "No,” uncrosses his legs, and forces my bare chest against his torn flannel.
It’s so hard to refuse him. His touch. His smell.
I wrap my arms around his neck.
Maybe just a little bit.
If it’ll make him feel better.
His body is hot and hard against mine.
His lips are rough, but just as sweet as always.
Within seconds I’m struggling to keep up.
Eden is nothing if not predictable.
The second I give him an inch, the mile is already gone.
Hands on my sweatpants, he pulls them down.
I don’t stop him—there’s no point.
I drag my nails up from his mid back to between his shoulder blades.
I run my tongue along the stubble of his jaw then whisper in his ear, "Fuck me when he’s gone, cause I’m not going anywhere.”
With a deep groan, Eden too rakes his nails over my skin, forcing them away from my dick to claw at my backside.
“That’s another reason why we can’t go anywhere, Little One.”
“Yeah? And why’s that?”
“Cause it’d be cruel to make you travel after I destroy your ass again.”
“Hmm,” I smirk. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”
“What makes you think—” He stops himself, and stifles an irked laugh. “You’re a little shit, you know that?”
I pull my pants up. “I do.”
I shuffle back just enough so that I can stand, then walk to the kitchen to wash my hands.
Taking a clean cloth from beneath the sink, I fetch the other tattoo items Eden had gotten out earlier and return to my spot between his legs. This time sitting with my back to him.
As I stare down at his left calf I’m instantly biting back tears. My name, ??, in solid black, disrupts the rainbow side of his body. For years I’ve watched these tattoos slowly overtake him. So much time. So much forethought. And now it’s all ruined.
All I wanted was a few more weeks.
With a sharp exhale I reach for Eden’s ankle and bend his leg so it’s sitting across my thighs.
“You did it on the wrong leg.”
I feel his lips on my shoulder. “Quit being a brat.”
I reach for the bottle of green soap mixture, and pour some on the rag. “Only if you put your name on me after all this.”
“Continue on your bratty ways, then.”
Slamming the bottle down beside me, I raise my free hand like I’m about to slap the tattoo, then calmly take the cloth and wipe away the pinkish muck weeping from his skin. Next I take the tube of Bepanthen, and squeeze a little onto my finger.
“I hope this isn’t your way of convincing me to give you that job at the shop.”
“If there’ll still be one.”
“I was only ever meant to do two things with my life, and one of them was tattoo. So with, or without, Teken Ink, I’ll be working somewhere.”
"I know you'll be fine.”
“Aren’t you gonna ask me what the other thing is?”
I shake my head. “Nope.” And pick up the cling film. “You ask stupid questions, you get stupid answers.”
Grabbing me by the waist, and careful not to touch my back, Eden bites my shoulder right over where he kissed me. “I’ll never stop doing either of those things.”
With the role of cling film partially draped over his leg, I turn my head, and kiss him. “Will you help me find what my other thing is?”