41. CHAPTER 41
" A re you ready?"
Still holding onto the handle, I look back inside the cabin one last time.
It's so bright, and I can see the blue sky through the back and side windows, but it's also so bare and cold.
Everything in the kitchen has been put away and the jar of sourdough starter is safe in the cab of Eden's truck.
Our bed is stripped and so is the sofa and cushions, an old sheet has been thrown over it, the rug and mattress are leaning up against the wall, and the spot beside the stove where the Christmas tree, then my bookshelf, sat looks so sad and empty.
I swing my backpack around to my front and unzip it.
It still holds all the same things it did when I first arrived, but now it has the English copy of Brave New World, too.
Taking it out, I hold it up to my nose and flip through the pages.
It always smelt different to the one my Halmae gave me. It's smoke, and pine, and this cabin.
"Eden, wait!" I whip my head around to him just as he closes the truck's canopy.
He leans against the tailgate. "What is it, little man?"
"It needs to stay here."
"What needs to stay here?"
"Well, me, but—"
"Jin. That's getting old."
"No it's not. What's so bad about not wanting to leave?"
"This isn't reality."
"It's our reality."
Eden pushes off the tailgate and walks to me on the front porch. "And this place isn't going anywhere. Just like I'm not going anywhere."
"You were the one who said you could work from anywhere."
"Who is gonna drive thirty minutes up a dirt track to get a tattoo?"
"Plenty of people. Tek said himself that at least three or four people a week come into the shop personally to ask for you… In winter… In a nowhere town like Broadrock."
"And how would you suggest we run a business without the internet?"
"We?" My eyes brighten, along with my smile. With a shake of his head, Eden reaches inside for the door, but I stop him from closing it with my foot. "I'm serious. You could convert the shed, or even make a brand new studio."
"I'm not running a studio off-grid, and I know I don't need to explain why. Now quit stalling."
I wrap my arms around Eden's middle. "I don't want things to have to start."
"I know, but I haven't spent the last two weeks going back and forth to Broadrock getting shit sorted. And meeting with your parents, for this not to happen."
I bury my head deeper into his chest. "I'm not ready to see them again."
"Easter is still a month away."
"But you saw how my father looked at me."
"But he showed up. Him and your mother both came and heard us out. It was tense, but they love you, Jin, otherwise they wouldn't have come… Besides, how he looked at you is nothing compared to what he said to me."
"But it's not the same."
"Exactly, it's so much worse for me. I'm just lucky Tek was there, too."
"And Carey."
Eden kisses the top of my head. "And Carey, that little fucker… I still think your father would have killed me if we weren't in the middle of a busy coffee shop, though."
"I will give Tek some credit for that. But even with Mom already having spoken to him, I could still see the shovel in Dad's hands, ready to dig a double-sized grave to throw both of us into."
"He'd have had to make it a triple cause I would have taken your brother down with me."
"I'm so proud of how you handled that."
"I'm not."
"Well I'm proud of you for not blowing up his truck."
"How do you know I didn't?"
I cock my head to the side and look at Eden like I always do when he talks out of his ass.
"Hey, I was back in Broadrock on Monday. Maybe I wasn't getting the truck looked at. Maybe I was exacting my revenge."
"So another black eye right where he'd just finished healing wasn't enough?"
"The way he'd spoken to you was still fresh in my mind."
"Haven't you ever heard that two wrongs don't make a right?"
"And haven't I told you to quit pointing out my inconsistencies?"
"I will when you stop having so many of them."
With a, don't you ever change you annoying little shit, expression on his face, Eden leans down to kiss me, and I can't help but wonder if we'll have moments like this back in Broadrock where everyone knows who we are.
The way he's holding me is so firm but gentle, and I can feel that he intends to keep every promise he's ever made to me.
It makes me feel like the luckiest man in the world, so I don't want to have to hide it.
I don't want it to be something we have to save for the apartment, or the truck, or the back room of the shop because other people can't handle it.
"How long before we can come back?"
"You're insufferable. We just stripped the place."
"Just tell me we can come back if things get too much for me."
"Things need to get too much. That's what life is. That's what happens when you make your own decisions, like telling your parents that you're moving in with your thirty-four year old boyfriend and they need to just accept it or they don't get to see you again."
I laugh into Eden's chest at how speechless my father had been. "That felt really good."
"And so many other things will start to feel good if you stop running away."
"But can we—"
"For the love of fuck, Jin. Yes, we can come back.
I don't plan on selling the place. But I'd also like to spend some of my days off doing other stuff with you.
Once your classes start in June I can drive down and meet you in Seattle.
Vancouver is only ninety minutes away, and I've never been to Victoria Island.
The world is literally ours, and I wanna give as much of it to you as I can. "
"Indonesia?" I ask, looking at him with a cheeky glint in my eye.
Eden scoops my chin up. "Yes, you little prick. We can go to Indonesia with Carey and Tek. You just better hope Reeze can hold things down while we're gone."
"I bet he'll have some help of his own."
"We're gonna need to change the name of the shop from Teken Ink to Broadrock Community Daycare."
"Shouldn't you change it from Tek - En anyway, seeing as Reeze is a partner now?"
"God, that all happened so quickly. I'm still not sure if he deserves it." Eden only manages to hold a straight face for two seconds before he cracks.
"You are far more insufferable than I am."
"You're the one with his foot still in the door."
I look back inside, then out to the truck. "I'll move it if you put it back inside."
"What are you talking about?"
"The bookshelf."
"Jin—"
"I want it to stay here."
"It's all the way at the back of the tray."
I push the book against his chest. "This is staying here, and it needs the bookshelf to keep it safe."
"Do you know how stupid that sounds?"
"Eden, please. It doesn't feel right to bring it back to the apartment. It was made here, and this is where it belongs."
Eden sighs, and shakes his head. "And what about all the other books? Won't this one get lonely?"
"All the ones I'm keeping are in my duffle. If you promise not to throw me in the truck and drive away, I'll get them while you get the bookshelf."
"And what about all the new ones I know you'll get? They need somewhere to live."
I stand on my tiptoes to get as close to Eden as I can. "Then you'll just have to make me a new one. With a new quote, and everything."
"But I like my boy being nasty."
I reach for Eden's neck and bring him down to meet me.
"I don't care if nasty is the only word on it.
But I want a new one, for our new life. And this one will stay here, and every time we come back it will remind us of all the shit we went through to get where we are.
But the crying, the hitting, how scared I was in the shed all alone. I don't wanna bring that home with us."
Eden takes the book, tosses it inside the cabin, and lifts me up.
"Okay," he says before kissing me. And that's all he says because it's all he needs to say.
It'll be hard, but we'll be okay.
Christmas may never be the same, but we'll be okay.
People will look, and talk, but we'll be okay.
As long as I have Eden and he has me, we will be okay.
T he building is familiar, but not overly impressive. Just a typical modern apartment block. Grey and white with chrome awnings, and a small garden out the front. It's the largest one in Broadrock, though that's not saying much, it's only got thirty apartments over six floors.
But it's my new home.
It's our home.
With my backpack over one shoulder and my duffle over the other, I wait at the front of the truck for Eden. With his own bag on his back, he lugs the giant sack of dirty linens behind him.
When we reach the front door to the building he stops and holds out his hand for me. "You ready?"
I slap mine into his, and nod.
Eden squeezes it with a light smile, then looks away to scan his keys on the security lock.
I hear the system buzz and the lock release, and when Eden pushes the door open, a mixture of generic cologne and new carpet smell hits me in the face.
Inside, I look down the corridor to my left, only to get tugged to my right.
The elevator is clean and still looks brand new. And it doesn't smell nearly as bad as the one in my college dorm.
Eden catches me smiling in the reflection of the shiny metallic doors. "What are you so happy about?"
"Lots of things." I press my lips together before realizing how stupid I'm being. I'm allowed to be happy. I'm supposed to be happy. "It's really nice, I—I didn't expect it to still look so new."
"It should still look new for another fifty years, with how much I paid for it."
"Do you have good neighbors?"
He hums. "They're alright. They keep to themselves, which is perfect."
"Did you ever get any noise complaints?"
Eden looks away from my reflection and directly to me. "Is that your way of asking me how loud you can be?"
I shrug. "I'm not sure what you're talking about."
The elevator opens on the fifth floor, and as soon as I step out I see Carey, about ten yards away, leaning against the wall outside an open door.
"Don't get your hopes up," he says when we get closer.
"You better have replaced any food you ate," Eden says, dropping his bags then turning to me.
"There was fuck all when I arrived."
With my duffle and backpack on the floor in the middle of the corridor, Eden picks me up and puts me over his shoulder. Just like he had when the blizzard hit and I refused to leave the shack.
He looks back to Carey; "I left you plenty," then steps inside his apartment. "What the fuck?"
"I told you she took everything," he chuckles; walking in behind us and shutting the door.
Eden puts me down and I hug onto his arm. "It's okay."
"No it's not. Where the fuck are we supposed to sit?"
"I'm still not sure what part of, she took everything, you didn't understand."
"So where did you—"
"What I bought, I took with me. The futon is still in the spare room so you won't be without a bed.
But I think Ikea is calling." Carey holds out his key and fob.
"And no. You can't stay with me tonight.
" With a shit eating grin, he pats his brother on the back and turns to me.
"Welcome home, Jin. It's not that bad. I'm sure you'll have it looking better than it did before in no time. "
"Ah, thanks," I say, and do a three-sixty of the living room. Beachwood flooring, off-white walls—equipt with hooks but no artworks, nothing covering the windows, a bare kitchen counter minus the stools.
"Where's the fucking fridge!?"
"She. Took. Everything." Carey looks at me. "He can't always be this dense."
"What exactly were you doing on all those trips back?" I ask, barely able to keep a straight face.
"Not coming here, that's for damn sure."
"That much is clear."
"Fuck. With the contracts at work and shit with your parents, I didn't even think about—"
"It's fine." I cut him off. "Carey is right. This is actually great. I've got something to do now until my classes start."
"But Jin, this is—"
"Amazing. I'm serious. Now we can make it ours. Just like we want. With lots of bookshelves."
"Listen to your better half," Carey says before opening the apartment door. "Oh. And we're booking the Bali flights tonight."
"November, right?"
"Yeah."
"Three weeks?"
"Yeah."
"Book two more, okay?"
My face lights up, and I stand on my tiptoes in front of Eden.
"On second thoughts. I'm not really sure if I can handle being around you—"
"Thank you, Carey." I turn away from Eden and walk to the door. "You've been sooooo much help, I don't know how we could have done any of this without you. Now go and annoy somebody else, okay?" I guide him out the door, and give him a wink before closing it.
"Shit, Jin. I'm so sorry."
"Shut up!" I say in a tone that has Eden wiping his head around to me, and the second his eyes meet mine, he's stalking towards the door. Picking me up, he slams my back against it and I wrap my legs around him. "Are we getting a hotel tonight?"
"You better fucking believe it."
"And room service?"
"You forgot about the cabin pretty quickly," he says right before latching onto my neck.
"I'll never forget about it. But opportunities like this don't present themselves all the time, either."
"That's where you're wrong, Little One. Now that you're with me, this kind of shit will happen all the fucking time." Eden bites my ear lobe and I turn to mush. I barely have enough cognizance to say;
"The impromptu hotel stays part, or the coming home to empty apartments part?"
"The, I'm going to make you come whenever I feel like it, part."
"But that's nothing new," I giggle as he carries me to the kitchen bench. "All our stuff is still in the hall."
"This is more important."
My earlobe is back between his teeth in seconds, and my reasoning never stood a chance.
Not that I wanted it to.
Not that I ever want it to.