Journal Entries - Present Day
Dear Journal,
I wouldn’t be surprised if Tucker hates me.
He hasn’t responded to any of my calls or texts, and when I stopped by yesterday morning before going to the hospital for more tests and scans, Erin said he didn’t want to talk to me or anyone.
I don’t know what to do. He said he needed space, but he completely walked away.
Who does that? I need him right now, but he can’t seem to handle the idea of having a sick girlfriend. :(
On the bright side (is there a bright side to your boyfriend not talking to you?) Grace has officially forgiven me and she’s come over every day that I’m not at the studio. I can finally dance again—even if it’s not as intense as before, at least I’m dancing. For now.
Nathan is also talking to me more. The shift was so small that I almost didn’t notice until he drove us to school today and I realized we talked the whole time instead of just listening to the music.
Maybe I should have just told the truth from the beginning. I was so afraid of losing Tucker and Grace that I kept my tumor from them, but in a way, I lost both of them.
Then there’s Lucy. I’m not ready to talk about it yet. Any time I think about her (like now) I start crying. Which makes me feel a little dumb. I barely knew her and yet…
I don’t know if Tucker and I will be okay, which I really really hate. I miss him so much. I know I messed up. I don’t know how to make it right.
Love, Rosie
May 12
Dear Journal,
Doctor Barker called today. She said we have to go in. I don’t think that’s a good thing. If it was good news, she would have told us over the phone.
I really want to talk to Tucker about this, but he won’t answer any of my calls or texts. I see him at school, but mostly, he avoids me. I hate this so much.
Love, Rosie