Chapter 39
There’s still a smile on my face when I wake up. The same one I had last night when I went to sleep. Everything with Demi last night was a fucking dream come true.
I think I get it
Ford
get what?
what you’ve all been gushing about for the last few years.
Nate
You’ll have to be more specific… we talk about a lot of shit.
Chase
It sneaks up on you doesn’t it?
No, it snuck up on you because you fought that shit for too long lol I’ve been hopelessly wishing for this moment for five years
Nate
are we talking about Demi?
Ford
yeah, he’s talking about Demi.
Chase
he’s in love with Demi
you’re all way too chill about this, I’m texting the girls.
Ford
DEMI!!!! YOU LOVE DEMI!!!
Nate
LIAM AND DEMI SITTING IN A TREE
Chase
yeah, I’m not participating in that. But happy for you bro.
nice recovery.
My phone vibrates just after I close out of the chat with the guys and I see Summer’s name pop up.
“Hey, did your boyfriend tell you to call me?” I ask as I answer.
“Chase doesn’t tell me what to do,” she says. “But he may have mentioned something that prompted me to call.”
I laugh into the receiver.
“Yeah,” I say.
“Did you tell her?”
“Hell no. I’m fucking terrified to tell her because I really don’t think those are words she wants to hear. Even though I could easily see myself slipping and saying it.” I run a hand through my hair.
Summer sighs, and I prop my feet up on my coffee table next to our unfinished puzzle. It’s been forever since we started this one, yet I completed two alone last week. I’m not complaining, though.
“If we’re being realistic, you’re probably right.
Having the first man you hang out with after your divorce drop the L-word might freak her out.
But if we’re being delusional…” she says in a sing-song tone.
“You saying you’re in love with Demi comes as a shock to absolutely no one, and telling her might be your opportunity to have everything you’ve wanted for the last five years. ”
“You and I live in delusion land sometimes, Summer. Doesn’t mean everyone else does.”
“Ugh, that’s true.” She sighs. “I wish everyone was on our same wavelength.”
“No, you don’t.” I laugh, pulling the phone from my ear and tapping the speaker button. “You like being the only you, and if Chase was like you, you’d never be interested in him. Hence why you and I just wouldn’t have worked out—so, sorry.” I smirk, although she can’t see me.
“Oh, right. Yes, you turned me down.”
We both laugh, and I hear CeCe playing in the background. The television over there is always so fucking loud I swear I don’t know how Chase doesn’t go crazy.
“What are you up to today?” I ask, changing the subject to something that doesn’t make me sweat.
“CeCe has a gymnastics meet downtown at two.”
“Oh, right. I remember Chase mentioning CeCe’s meet. Give her double high fives for me.”
“I will,” she says. “I’ll let you go, but seriously I love that you’re enjoying your time with Demi.
We had such a nice time when she joined us the other night.
She’s cool as hell. And yeah, I don’t exactly know how things are going to end up between the two of you, but I just want you to be happy. ”
“I know.”
We end the call, and I toss my head back on the couch, closing my eyes.
I’m exhausted. My conversation with my dad in the parking lot has been replaying in my mind for some fucking reason, and I slept like shit last night when I got home from Demi’s.
I was close to texting her to see if maybe she was also struggling to fall asleep, but didn’t want to wake her if she was already out.
I do know that last night solidified a lot of feelings I already knew were there. I know I love her. I’ve loved her since the day I met her, but being in love with her has happened over the last couple of months. Swiftly. Easily. Undeniably.
I have no idea where she stands. Not really.
Am I a distraction for her? Something to pass the time while she heals?
Does she even take me seriously? All the questions I’ve silently asked myself over the last couple of months.
Because as much happiness as I exude around her and everyone else, I still sit home in silence and darkness—feeling everything so fucking deeply is draining me.
But I want to know how Demi’s early morning meeting went.
I hope your meeting this morning went great. You’re amazing.
Girl of my dreams
Can’t wait to tell you about it. Later?
Of course.
I smile at that. And then silence my phone and my mind to try and nap.