Chapter 40
Not to sound needy or desperate, but I’ve texted Liam twice in the last hour and he hasn’t replied.
The man has never taken more than minutes to reply to me unless he was working.
I open the sliding glass door, deciding some fresh air and a second coffee will do me good as I wait for his text.
It’s been a while since I’ve anxiously waited by my phone, excited to hear from someone.
I suppose I could just go knock on his door, and maybe I will if I don’t hear anything soon.
There’s a lot of traffic today, I can hear the city below bustling, but I guess a Saturday during the fall makes sense.
Horns honk as I take a beat, propping my feet up on the small table I put out here.
It’s still warm, although being higher up does have its advantages with the wind.
My phone rings—which is odd, since no one ever calls me unless it’s work related and even then, it’s rare.
But Liam’s contact pops up and I do my best to rein in my smile.
“Hey,” I answer with a grin.
“Hey, neighbor.” His smooth voice floats through the phone. “I needed a nap and just woke up. Sorry I missed your texts.”
“Oh, that’s okay. Feeling rested?”
He hums and then I hear him yawn before he answers. “I’m all right, how’d the meeting go?”
“It was perfect.” I’m beaming with pride over how excited I am about this opportunity. “There are a lot of I’s that need to be dotted, T’s crossed, things like that, but overall everything went great, and I’m just excited and so hopeful for the future of women in sports.”
“You fucking did that,” he says, and it’s like I can picture his smile. All teeth, pure and authentic right through the phone.
I remember when I vaguely mentioned this to Brandon almost two years ago.
He said “isn’t there already a scholarship like that?
” It made me feel small and made my contributions feel insignificant.
The more time I spend around Liam the more sadness I harbor for the woman I was in my marriage.
The one who begged for bare minimum, accepted mediocre, and truly couldn’t tell if him saying “nice dress” was giving me a compliment or a sarcastic insult.
“I don’t know if this is kind of forward, but what the hell…do you feel like celebrating? Maybe just dinner or—”
“Yes. Let’s go grab dinner,” he says, not missing a beat.
“I was thinking just at one of our apartments. I can cook or we can order takeout.”
“Oh…” His voice dies down. “Right, right. Yeah, of course. Come over, I can order from anywhere you want.”
I feel my shoulders fall slightly. Did he forget we shouldn’t take our situation outside of this building? I heard his voice lose its pep when I corrected him and immediately felt like shit. But we agreed that this—whatever it is—stays here.
“Okay,” I say quietly, hoping I didn’t hurt his feelings. “I can be over within the hour if that works?”
“Absolutely. I’m taking a quick ice plunge in a few, but I won’t be long.
Come by whenever.” As if he’s rehearsed, he’s back to his upbeat tone.
And I should be happy he doesn’t sound upset, but it’s just a reminder of how he’s had to learn how to bounce back quickly from feeling let down. And it stings.
“Sounds good.” I pull open the door to head back inside as we end the call.
I give myself a glance in the mirror and contemplate if I should change my clothes or just stay in the comfortable bike shorts and T-shirt I’m currently in. But don’t let myself dwell too long on a choice that doesn’t matter.
After I’ve picked up a few things around my apartment, I head out and over to Liam’s. He sent me a follow up text saying to just come in so I lightly knock, but then turn the knob to let myself in.
His apartment smells like apple pie. Apple pie and cinnamon rolls, and I feel my mouth watering. Is he baking? There’s no fucking way. I peek my head in the kitchen and hear the sound of music coming from his patio, so I take that as an invitation to step outside.
“Knock, knock,” I say as I slide the door open.
Liam’s seated in the ice bath against the wall, head resting on the edge of the acrylic material. This thing is bigger than I was picturing, it’s definitely not just your standard bathtub. Which makes sense since he’s six foot two and probably doesn’t comfortably fit in a regular tub.
“Hi.” He opens his eyes and tips his head up.
I stare at his bare chest and my eyes trail his torso. Fuck. He looks too good.
“I have shorts on.” He smirks as my eyes begin to wander but I narrow them at him after that remark.
“Good.” I lift my chin, stepping closer to him.
His hair is wet, but not soaking. It’s doing that messy thing in the front, and it makes me want to tangle my fingers in it to add to the chaos. Everything about Liam’s shirtless chest dripping wet does exactly what one would think it does.
“You can join me.” He extends his hand, and I back away.
“No, thank you,” I say with a giggle.
“Come on, Dem.” He tilts his head, giving me those annoyingly sweet puppy dog eyes paired with his lips curving up slightly. “I’ll keep you warm.”
My arms cross over my chest as I stare at him. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t the least bit curious about it.
“I didn’t bring a change of clothes.”
“Wear mine.”
He has an answer for everything, doesn’t he?
I roll my eyes as he stands, watching as the water sloshes in the tub, and I can’t tear my eyes from his abdomen.
The lines and ridges. I dart to his arms, the veins and the way his forearms flex.
His thighs as he stands up straight, sopping wet and strong.
God, I’m losing it. I’m about to cave and hop in the ice bath with this man, aren’t I?
Liam extends his hands to me, licking his lips as he does. “We’ll start slow.” The words do more to me than they should.
“Fine.” I exhale, slipping my feet out of the slides I was wearing.
Liam takes both of my hands into his and stands sturdy as I slowly—very slowly—dip one foot in.
I hiss the second my toes touch the water.
“Nope, don’t back out, keep going, come on.” There’s no pity in his voice as I feel his hands pull me a little closer to him.
With one leg completely in, I stop for a moment, taking deep breaths.
“Bring your other leg in, and we’re going to sit down together as soon as you’re in. Got it?”
I nod as our eyes connect and lift my leg over the side and into the water. Liam spins me effortlessly in front of his body, my back flush with his chest. His hands hold my hips as he lowers both of us into the frigid water.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, oh my god.” I shudder. “What’s the temperature?”
“About sixty degrees.”
“I-I need to get out,” I say, wiggling against him, but I feel the warmth of his breath against my ear.
“You can do this,” he says. His tone is low, voice hushed as he wraps his arms around me. “Focus on me, honey. My voice. Got it?”
I tilt my head back into him and nod. How the hell am I ice cold, yet burning hot at the same time?
“I’ve been thinking about last night all day,” he whispers into the shell of my ear.
“You ruined me, Dem.” I sharply inhale as his hand glides between my legs and rests on my upper thigh.
“But you know that, don’t you?” His lips feather kisses along my neck, and I’m completely under whatever spell Liam has placed on me as I close my eyes.
His hand squeezes my thigh, and I quietly moan at the touch.
“You like knowing how badly I want you.” I feel his breath again on my neck.
The water moves as he sits us up more.
“I-I do,” I admit. Because he’s right. The way he wants me drives me wild. It pushes me to extremes—like this moment now. I wouldn’t get into a freezing ice plunge for just anyone.
“Mmm.” I feel his chest vibrate against my back. “Good.”
I take a sharp breath in, counting to four, holding four, then releasing four as he holds me in place.
Barely another moment passes just as I’m getting comfortable and he moves his hand from my thigh, taps my hip and says, “Time’s up.”
I arch my neck, turning to face him as he rises to his feet, bringing me with him.
“What? That was it?”
He smirks. “That was three minutes. I already did ten before you got here.”
“Oh. I guess that wasn’t so bad.” I step out and grab the towel he’s holding out for me.
“Told you.” He winks, and I roll my eyes.
Glad to see we’re both in our usual form.
Liam lends me a pair of his shorts and a T-shirt to change into and as I’m stepping out of his bathroom, I quickly apologize.
“Oh shit, I’m sorry I didn’t even think about you needing to change.”
He’s standing in his bedroom, completely naked, as if it’s the most normal thing.
“Nothing to be sorry about.” He pulls on his boxers and shorts, but opts to stay shirtless, and I’m internally cursing him while also loving the view.
“So, about dinner,” he says. “Tell me what you want. Anything and it’s yours.”
My eyes linger on his chest and my mind wants to say, you.