Chapter 11
“Your husband is a smartass.”
“Come on, Clayton. He told me what happened. From what he said, it was like you were fucking with him. Why not just ask the shit you wanna know instead of fucking with him about shit he told you didn’t matter to him?”
“How he responded was telling me what I needed to know without coming out and asking him. But I already know, Kizzie and Dakota won’t be living with him no time soon.”
“You have got to be fucking kidding me! So because he didn’t kiss your ass, he’s not good enough to be around my children? You know I can just take them. I’m trying to be respectful to you as their father, but you’re fucking with my tolerance now.”
“G, listen, man. I’m just saying, you don’t know him as well as you think you do. Dude petty as hell. After tonight, I’m gonna definitely need more time.”
I grabbed my purse and keys to head home. While I wanted to fuck him up, I left without another word. I didn’t want to go to court. That process could take even longer. Thankfully, the kids were already in bed when he got home. Kizzie would have been all in our mouths, trying to figure out what was going on.
I was too angry to cry. I already knew Gentry was petty. He told me as much. I wanted an aggressive man. Gentry was not going to willingly allow another nigga to have the upper hand or the last word. I was just hoping that things would go well so I could have my kids back home with me. I was tired as fuck. All the ripping and running, trying to take care of my babies and Gentry with them in two different households was a lot.
At least if we all lived together, I could spend time with them at once. I turned my music up to hear Gentry’s favorite rap artist saying that we would be a’ight. I just didn’t know though. He wasn’t a patient person, and neither was I. That was one of the reasons we’d gone through Arranged Hearts. We lacked patience with the dating process.
When I got home, I could see the light on in the kitchen. Gentry said Clayton had insinuated that I wasn’t cooking for him since he’d ordered wings. That shit made me roll my eyes. While Clayton and I were friends, I’d never seen this side of him. I knew for a fact he didn’t want me, so I wasn’t sure what this shit was about with him.
The minute I closed my car door, Gentry was standing at the back door, waiting for me. I had an attitude out of this world, but not at him. It was the situation and Clayton being a whole nigga. Keeping the peace was hard. I didn’t want my babies to see me unhinged. They’d never witnessed that, and I didn’t want them to start seeing it. By the time I got to the back door, Gentry was standing on the back patio.
Instead of going to him, I sat on a lounge chair near the pool. When I saw him standing over me, I stood and kissed his lips. He hugged me tightly and kissed my head. “I’m sorry, baby.”
I nodded. “Can I get a few more minutes to myself?” I asked.
He seemed a little frustrated like I was, but he was probably upset about the situation as well. I would hope he wasn’t frustrated with me. After about ten minutes, I made my way inside to see him putting food into Tupperware. When I tried to help him, he turned to me and said, “I got it. I take it that the kids won’t be here no time soon.”
I huffed. “Not this weekend anyway. I don’t understand why he’s playing games like this. I’ve never seen him behave this way. I mean, I understood his hesitancy at first, but to go as far as verbally attacking you is different. There was no reason for that. I don’t want to have to go to court behind this. That process could take longer.”
“Why would it take longer? Just file a complaint, saying he isn’t abiding by the court documents.”
“There are no court documents, Gentry. We just agreed that the kids would live with me because I’m their mother, and I was the one that asked him to do this. Nothing is through the courts.”
“Shit.”
“Tell me about it. He’s worried about me not knowing you well enough, but it seems as if I don’t know him right now. I don’t want to drag my kids through this unnecessary drama! Fuck!”
He approached, wanting to hug me, but I put my hand up. “I’m sorry, Flem. Not right now, baby.”
He stared at me as I walked away. I didn’t want to feel soft right now. I was pissed, and I didn’t want to lash out at him. He didn’t deserve that shit. I went straight to the bathroom to shower and locked myself in there. The desire to punch something was strong. I should have gone down to Gentry’s workout room. He had a punching bag in there.
Just as I made up my mind to do that, he knocked on the door. I opened it and stared at him. “I’m sorry. I’m just so fucking angry right now.”
“Come on,” he said as the tension eased in his facial expressions.
I knew he didn’t like being shut out, but I needed him to understand that I wouldn’t leave him that way. Communication was hard for me at times because I never had to really do it. When it came to my true feelings, I always felt like no one wanted to hear it. Now, my best friend, who listened to all my complaints, was the one I had a complaint with.
We entered the workout room, and I went straight to the bag and started swinging. I could feel Gentry staring at me as I did so. I needed to get the aggression off me. When I tired out and looked up, he was gone. I was dripping with sweat. If I didn’t need a shower before, I surely needed one now.
Leaving the room, I nearly walked right into him. He stared at me, scanning me from head to toe, then grabbed my hand, leading me back to the bedroom. I followed him in silence, admiring his slender but toned frame. He’d taken off his clothes and only adorned a pair of basketball shorts. My aggression was gone, and now, all I wanted was to be loved on. Gentry didn’t deserve my silence, but I was having trouble vocalizing how horrible I felt.
I didn’t want him to think I was regretting marrying him. That was far from the truth. My biggest regret was not having true custody of my children, trusting that Clayton would always do right by me. He was behaving like a selfish, jealous child, and my tolerance wouldn’t be able to handle it for too long. The kids still didn’t even know about Gentry. I wanted them to meet him and establish a foundation for potentially amazing relationships.
Gentry led me to the bathroom where he’d run me a bubble bath and had placed a glass of wine on the tub. Soft music was playing, and the ambiance was amazing. I swallowed the lump in my throat as he turned to me. “I understand you more than you think. I know it’s hard to verbalize just how you feel, but you can start by verbalizing it to yourself. Look in the mirror and tell yourself exactly how you feel. That will eventually make it easier to share those feelings with me.”
He pulled me closer to him and began slowly taking off my clothes. “I don’t like feeling shut out, Elle. I want to be the one you confide in. I want to be your best friend, not just your lover. I promise that you have that in me. This process is going to be tedious and hard. Please don’t make it any harder on me. I don’t like drama, but for you, I will endure it. I told them that I didn’t mind if the woman had children, but I couldn’t do drama. I know there wasn’t any drama until I entered the picture.”
“I’m so sorry, Flem. I never expected Clayton to behave this way. He’s always been cool about who I decided to date. It feels like he’s jealous of what I have with you. I don’t think it has anything to do with the kids. I mean, I could be wrong, but that’s what it feels like. I need my babies with me. This is hard.”
He pulled my naked body to his. “I know, baby. Let’s get you cleaned up though. I didn’t know I married Rocky Balboa.”
I chuckled. “Are you getting in with me?”
“Naw. I was just gonna sit on the side and bathe you.”
“Will you get in with me? Please?”
“Absolutely.”
He pulled his shorts off to reveal that monster anaconda. He wasn’t wearing drawers. I pulled him to me for a kiss, then he stepped in the tub and held his hand out to me. I grabbed it and joined him in the tub. Once he sat, I sat in between his legs. Thank God for this large air tub. Had we been at my place, there would have been no way we both would have fit in the tub, even with as long and slender as Gentry was.
I lay back against him and took a deep breath as he wrapped his arms around me. He lowered his head and kissed my cheek and my neck. Closing my eyes, I allowed myself to feel the consolation he was providing and thanked God for giving me a man that would take care of not only my heart but my soul.
“I can’t believehe’s doing this,” my mama said as she placed her finger to her chin.
She only did that when she was in deep thought. “I know. Including the length of time I was on my honeymoon, he’s had them for three weeks. This shit is getting harder by the day.”
I’d gone to my mama’s office after work. We closed early on Fridays, and I decided to take that time to talk to her alone. Jorie had come with her to Clayton’s house on Wednesday, so I didn’t speak as freely. My mama always listened objectively. I appreciated that.
“What are you thinking you will do about it?”
“Right now, I’m just trying to ride it out and hope he comes to his senses. I don’t want to traumatize the kids. Everything in me wants to just go snatch them and take them home with me. My name is listed on all paperwork concerning them. His name is only there because I put it there. However, my concern is my babies, especially Kizzie, because she understands so much now. She heard me call Gentry baby over the phone and acted like I’d committed some sort of crime.”
My mama chuckled slightly. She knew how over the top Kizzie could be at times. “I think what you’re doing is what’s best, but don’t let this go on for too long. That’s your babies, and he has no right to keep them from you when, technically, you’re the custodial parent. I’m pretty sure Kizzie would tell any judge that she lives with her mommy.” She paused for a moment then asked, “How is Gentry handling all this?”
I took a deep breath, thinking about how none of this had been fair to him. “He’s been so patient, but I know that his patience will wear thin before long. Honestly, I’m scared he’ll get tired of the situation and me. I still have the lease on my apartment in case I have to go back. I can see the frustration on his face when I can’t spend time with him because I’m going to Clayton’s house to spend time with my babies. This is not what he expected. It’s not what I expected either.”
Tears fell freely from my eyes as I vocalized what could be my reality soon. What Gentry did for me Wednesday was sweet, but he didn’t deserve this shit. He just wanted a woman he could love and spend the rest of his life with. I was barely present, even when we were fucking. My mind was everywhere but where it should have been. As long as I didn’t have my kids, I couldn’t focus on much else.
Cleaning people’s teeth at work was a struggle. Yunique wanted to send me home yesterday because I didn’t do the greatest job on cleaning someone’s teeth. What Clayton was doing was affecting every aspect of my life. Why couldn’t he see that? While I didn’t want to traumatize my children, I didn’t want to lose my job or marriage to Gentry either.
My mama started rubbing my shoulders. I was so caught up in my emotions, I never even saw her leave her seat. “Have you been praying, baby?”
“Like crazy.”
She continued kneading my shoulders as I tried to calm down. God would eventually work it out. I just wished I knew why He was taking this long. My phone vibrated in my pocket, so I pulled it out to see a text from Gentry. My heart rate quickened as I opened it. I’m actually taking a lunch break today. I think I will do that every Friday, since you get off early. You wanna meet me at Sage?
He was doing everything he knew to create time for us. The sacrifices he was making made me feel so fucking guilty. I responded, Absolutely. See you in a few minutes. I love you.
I love you more, baby.
I broke. My cries were audible, causing my mama to come in front of me and pull me from my seat and into her arms. “Shh. It’s going to be okay. Things will work out, baby girl.”
I nodded as I pulled away from her. Gentry was the man I loved. In a short amount of time, he had stolen my heart with such finesse. Nothing felt forced or rushed. We were perfect for one another. Unfortunately, I knew I would see his petty, angry side before long if things didn’t change soon.
“I’m going to meet Gentry for lunch at Sage, Mama. Thank you for always listening. I love you.”
“You don’t have to thank me. I’m your mother. That’s what I’m here for. I would do the same for Daniel, Jorie, Joel, and Keondra. I love you so much, baby. Go have lunch with your man. It’s beautiful just how much he loves you already. The sacrifices he’s making have me feeling all mushy inside, so I can imagine how you’re feeling.”
I smiled at her then grabbed my purse from the chair. “Yeah. He’s almost too good to be true. Thanks again, Mama.”
I kissed her cheek as she smiled and made my way to my car to go meet my baby.