Chapter 12
I staredat the beautiful but troubled woman sitting across from me. We’d gotten to Sage and had been seated about ten minutes ago. It didn’t matter if I carved time out of my schedule to spend with her if we only sat here in silence. I knew she had a lot on her mind, but I needed my wife. I was doing everything I knew to do to comfort her.
I held her every night, gave her massages, cooked sometimes to take the weight off her, and made love to her. Normally, I ate lunch at the clinic. I never took a whole lunch break because work was my life. I made myself as available as possible for my clients. Things were changing, as they should. My wife needed to come first. Work would be there. I needed to be sure she would be here too.
Unfortunately, I realized that wouldn’t be my call. She would have to make the decision to be here. I needed more than physical interaction. If I didn’t, there wouldn’t have been a point in getting married. I was doing my best to understand Giselle’s dilemma, but my patience was really starting to wear thin. I wanted to go to that nigga’s house and snatch those kids my-damn-self.
“Thank you for making time for us, Gentry. That means so much to me. I know I haven’t been everything you desired, and I’m so sorry. While my mind is telling me to just go take my kids, I don’t want that to affect the kids negatively. I love my kids so much, but this entire situation is making me regret the way I did it. I should have done the Arranged Hearts thing before trying to have children. I just thought it wouldn’t give me what I needed. Children, no matter how they were conceived, would be reared in love.”
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Yeah.”
“It’s been two weeks since we’ve been back. How much time are you going to give him to get his shit together?”
She had to know this question would be coming. I needed a timeline to assure me this wouldn’t be dragged out. If I wanted to be alone all the time, she wouldn’t be in my house. The only reason I was still putting up with this shit was because I was falling for her. Despite this foolishness with Clayton, Giselle was perfect for me. She was the woman I desired… needed.
She shrugged her shoulders slightly. “I don’t know. Maybe another two weeks before I start threatening to take him to court. My babies need me, but my husband needs me too. I’ve been neglecting you because of this. I’m trying to spread myself to cover all the bases, but I’m falling short.”
“Honestly, Elle, I know you have a lot on your plate. I don’t give a fuck about you cooking and cleaning. I just wanna spend time with you that isn’t strained. We were silent for damn near ten minutes. I’m feeling disconnected from you, and I don’t like that feeling, baby. You are the woman I need. I’m falling in love with you, but I feel like I don’t have you. That’s a horrible feeling.”
“I know. God, I know.”
A tear fell down her cheek, and she quickly swiped it. Reaching across the table, I grabbed her hand and brought it to my lips. “I know you’re trying, baby. I just… I miss the Giselle I had in Hawaii. I know vacation is a little freer, and when we get back to reality, we have responsibilities, but I miss the affection, the passion, and softness. I don’t feel that softness and passion anymore. Without that, the affection feels forced.”
She nodded her head as she continued swiping tears. The waitress appeared with the drinks we ordered and took our meal orders. Once the waitress walked away, Giselle looked up at me and asked, “Do you regret being paired with me?”
That shit hit me in the heart so hard. “No. I don’t regret being paired with perfection. Giselle, you are perfect for me. I just hate this shit that you’re going through with Clayton. Do I wish we didn’t have to deal with that shit? Yes. I’m sure your answer would be the same. I know the kids’ well-being is your priority, but kids are resilient. Your mom is a therapist. She could help Kizzie and Dakota through it.”
“I know. I just don’t want to put them through it if I don’t have to. They are used to splitting time between their dad and me, but they’ve always seen us on good terms. We’ve disagreed at times, but it was never anything like this. I’m trying to be understanding and patient, but like you, it’s getting harder by the day. I’ll endure anything, though, to make sure my babies come out unscathed.”
I nodded as I decided to let the conversation go. I took a sip of my strawberry lemonade and retreated within my thoughts. Losing her was the last thing I wanted, but I felt like that was where we were headed. She was going to leave me to appease Clayton’s pitiful ass feelings. She was looking at it as protecting her kids, but this was all about him having control over her and using the kids as leverage.
I wouldn’t put up with it for long. If she didn’t leave, I would eventually have to let go… let her life go back to how it was before me. There was so much potential between the two of us. I thought having her would make me better. Her being with me had already made me better. My core was softer. I was more patient and freer to express my feelings. I’d never been the expressive type, unless someone had pissed me off. I didn’t have a problem expressing my anger or irritation.
But love? That had never happened until now. I was cool by myself, but like Fab and Neyo had said in that song, she made me better. She didn’t know that since she had never met the old Gentry, but if things didn’t change or if I didn’t see any progress being made in the situation, I would have to let go. That shit wasn’t fair to either of us, but at this point, it didn’t matter if we let it continue without doing something about it.
“Yo!Can you meet up this evening at my place?”
I rolled my eyes to the sky. It was Paul. I already knew this shit was about trying to squash things between Clayton and me. It had been another two weeks, and Giselle told me she pressured his ass last night, telling him she had obtained a lawyer and would be taking him to court. I was more than sure he begged her for more time to squash things with me so we could get to know each other.
I didn’t need time to get to know his bitch ass. It wasn’t about Giselle or the kids. This was about him and his insecurities. Fuck that nigga. That was what my mind was saying. Instead, I responded to Paul by saying, “Yeah. What time?”
“Around six thirty or seven. Let’s go with seven, because I know most days, you don’t leave the clinic until six.”
“A’ight, man. See you at seven.”
I ended the call and looked at the chart for the next appointment. It was a cat, and for some reason, they were my least favorite. They just seemed predatory to me. Evil. I’d seen many cat fights, so I tended to steer clear of them. I also had an appointment to go to a farm later. I saw farm animals as well. That was why I stayed so busy.
When I walked into the examination room, I noticed it was the lady from nearly a month ago that was new to the area. Shakira. “Good afternoon, Ms. Shakira. You have a cat too?”
“Good afternoon, Doctor Fleming. I rescued it. Sasha isn’t too happy about it, but I couldn’t walk away from it. It was at my back door, just meowing. You can see how malnourished it is.”
“Yeah. Have you named it yet?”
“No, because I haven’t decided if I’m going to keep it or turn it in to the local animal shelter. If I name it, I will get attached to it. I just have a heart for animals.”
“I see. That’s not a bad thing. We have that in common,” I said as I cautiously approached the cat.
Even with as feeble as it looked, its eyes said, fuck with me if you want to, nigga. “What’s up? I’m Doctor Fleming, and I’m here to help you, okay?” I said to it as I held my hands out.
The cat jumped into my hands, surprising me, then purred against my chest. I was able to see that it was a female. “It seems like she likes you.”
I chuckled. “I suppose so. That’s rare though. I have a love-hate relationship with cats.”
She giggled. “I got attacked by a cat as a kid. Well, not really attacked. A boy threw the cat on me, and it scratched me up so bad. It was fighting, and so was I. I lost that battle. It had even caught me in the eye. Thankfully, it was minor, and it healed over time.”
“Dang. I would be scared to fool with cats after that.”
“I was for a while until I realized the cat was in defensive mode and wasn’t attacking me. It thought it was being attacked.”
I nodded as I examined the cat. It sat still surprisingly and just stared at me as I took care of it. My assistant came in the room with us with three vaccines. One of them was for a variety of diseases and was called FVRCP, another protected the cat from leukemia, and the last one was for rabies. Still, the cat didn’t move and allowed me to inject those vaccines without trouble. I wasn’t sure what was up with it. Maybe it didn’t really have the strength to fight.
Like my mom had once said, animals tended to trust me. It was like I was Doctor Dolittle or some shit. Unfortunately, I wasn’t privy to their language, but I got along better with animals than I did with humans. When I finished with her, Shakira reached out to her, and she went back and purred against her as well.
“I think you’ll probably name her. She’s laying it on thick.”
She giggled. “I think you’re right. Thank you so much, Doctor Fleming.”
I tilted my head slightly. “Call me Gentry. I call you by your first name.”
She nodded and smiled. I smiled back and immediately felt guilty. It was almost like I was subtly flirting. I nodded and got out of there. This shit with Giselle and Clayton was taking a toll on our relationship. If I was noticing other women and finding myself being attracted, that wasn’t good. I was somewhat attracted to Shakira. I didn’t feel that the first time I saw her, although I thought she was beautiful.
I dropped off the chart at the front desk and prepared to leave the office to go check the OG. I rolled my eyes at the thought. OG was the horse’s name. It was an older horse that basically just grazed in the pasture, living out its final days. The owner said it was constipated. This would be a real shitty job, no doubt about it.
I wason my way to Paul’s, jamming my boy, Kendrick. As suspected, the visit to see OG was a real shitty job. The owner allowed me to try a home remedy on his horse. It was in so much pain. He’d kept feeding her, and that was only making it worse. She wasn’t consuming enough water. She needed something that would work immediately, or she wasn’t going to make it. So, I did something I saw my grandfather do when I was a kid. Being that the horse was on the ground ailing, it was easier to do what I needed to do.
I took a water hose and put it up her anus, turning it on full blast until her belly was full and the water was leaking back out. When I pulled the hose out, shit flew every-fucking-where. I literally had to get naked because I didn’t want shit getting all over my truck. I knew this would be bad, but whew, shit! I was glad I drove my truck and not my Audi. My client allowed me to rinse off in his barn and gave me plastic to put on my seats. I didn’t know what I was thinking by not being fully prepared for what I knew could happen.
At least OG was feeling better. That was all that mattered. She hopped up from that ground so fast. For a minute, I thought she was gonna knock me to the ground. It was like she was trying to thank me. When I left, I went straight home and took a shower. Elle had already left to go spend time with her kids by the time I got home from work, so I didn’t get a chance to see her before I left.
I missed that woman so much. This shit was destroying me from the inside out, and I found I was becoming a little more hostile around people. The only time I didn’t feel that way was when I was around animals. Because of that, I felt like I should have stayed my ass home today. However, I wanted things to work between me and Giselle, and I knew this was a step in the right direction if things went well.
When I turned in Paul’s driveway, I saw that people were already here. I was sure one of those cars belonged to Clayton. I sent Elle a text message, letting her know where I was and that I loved her then headed to the front door. Before I could ring the doorbell, Paul opened the door. “What’s up, bruh?” he asked.
I slapped his hand and gave him a half hug. “Same shit different day, man. You good?”
He chuckled. “Yeah, I’m cool. Come on in.”
When I walked in, I saw his two other friends that were at the gathering last time and Clayton having a drink. “Gentry made it!” Paul announced.
Felix stood from his seat and extended his hand for a shake. “What’s up, man? Good to see you again.”
His brother, Derrick, did the same and nodded. When I turned to Clayton, he smiled slightly and extended his hand. “Sorry we got off on the wrong foot. I’m going to make an effort to get along with you and get to know you.”
I nodded and shook his hand, not offering any words to make a promise of bonding with his ass. I went to the bar and got a beer. I wasn’t trying to get lit like their asses. There was no way I would get fucked up and end up having to spend the night here. I needed to get home to Giselle. That was if she even came home tonight. If this nigga got fucked up, she would have to stay with her kids all night. As I watched him down some brown liquor, I could feel myself getting pissed.
He walked over to the bar and poured a glass of Hennessy. That shit was gonna have him on his ass. He didn’t mix it with anything, so he was drinking that shit straight. As I drank my beer in silence, he came and sat next to me. I swore I wanted to knock him on his ass. “So, how was your workday? It has to be a hard job taking care of animals.”
“It was good. Work and animals are never a problem. I was born to do this, so animals are rarely hostile around me.” I glanced at him and continued. “It’s humans I have the most problems with.”
He chuckled. “Shots fired. I deserved that.”
“Like the old people say, only a hit dog holler.”
I chuckled, and he laughed too. “My grandmother used to say that shit.”
He shook his head slowly then said, “I do regret my first interaction with you. I guess I was just angry that she left me in the dark. I really do want to get to know you since you’ll be interacting and playing a critical role in who my kids will become.”
I nodded, trying to get myself to relax a bit. “What do you do, Clayton?”
“I’m a financial analyst.”
I nodded repeatedly. “That’s cool. Do you work for a company, or do you own your own business?”
“I just started my own business about a year ago. So I set my own schedule. I have a few contracts, one with a Fortune 500 company. Unfortunately, because it’s still getting off the ground, I have to put in more hours to make sure things are moving along as planned.”
“Understandable. My business was the same way. I just developed a habit of working my ass off. It’s hard to slow down now, but I’ll do whatever I have to do for Giselle. She’s that special to me.”
He nodded. “She’s a good woman. I suppose this whole thing caught me off guard. She’s never usually a spur of the moment person. When it came to the kids, we talked about it for at least a year before we actually went through with it. I’m pretty sure she warred in her mind before she actually decided to go this route for a mate. She said she didn’t want anyone to try to talk her out of it, but her silence about it made things harder.”
I nodded, somewhat understanding where he was coming from. “Yeah, but you know she wouldn’t put the kids in danger, right?”
“Not knowingly. I know that much about her. We’ve been best friends for a long time. I love her with my whole heart, but those kids are my babies, and it’s my job as their father to protect them. I’m in protective mode.”
“Well, you don’t have to be. I’ve never spoken to them, but I can imagine when I do, I’ll get attached. I’ve heard so much about them already. You wouldn’t have to worry about me treating them like ‘stepkids’ either. If I love their mother, I’ll love them too. I’ll be treating them like they’re mine, and that’s no disrespect to you.”
He nodded. “That’s all I want. I just have a hard time trusting people. I’m going to get there. Please just be patient with me.”
Lying ass nigga. I was more than sure Paul had filled him in on just what type of nigga I was. He knew those kids would be safe with me. He wasn’t dealing with no ordinary nigga that would fall for his bullshit. I glanced at him but never responded. He had no intent of giving those kids back to Giselle no time soon unless the courts forced him to.
“You want something stronger than that beer?” Paul asked.
“Naw. I need to be able to drive home. No disrespect to y’all niggas, but I would much rather lay in my own bed.”
They laughed, nodding their heads. I was the only one in the room that had a woman to go home to, but with the way things were going, I didn’t know how much longer that would be the case. This ‘I do’ was starting to turn into an ‘I don’t,’ and I was sick inside.