Chapter 13
“So you’re stayingthe night there?”
“Yeah. Clayton didn’t come home.”
“I know you see what he’s doing. You need to just bring the kids home with you.”
“You’re right, Gentry, and I want to do that, but at the same time, I know the turmoil and drama will only get worse if I do. I promise to file for custody Monday.”
“A’ight, Giselle. Whatever. Talk to you tomorrow.”
Gentry ended the call before I could respond. He was pissed. He rarely called me Giselle. It was usually Elle or baby. I was upset, too, because I desperately wanted to do what he suggested. I felt like Clayton did this shit on purpose. He knew he needed to get back home so I could go home. I wanted to cry because I didn’t like Gentry being angry with me.
However, I could see what this was doing to us. He wasn’t as affectionate with me. We rarely saw each other. He was still taking a lunch break on Fridays, but it was like we were just friends instead of husband and wife. We fucked whenever I found the time. He was no longer making love to me. I could feel the difference, but I knew that was a direct response to what I was giving out.
I needed to just let him go until I got this shit straight and pray like hell that he was still available when I did. “Mommy, are you okay?”
I turned to see Kizzie standing next to me. She assumed I was still trying to get the house together and kept telling me to hurry so they could come home. She missed her princess bed. I assured her that it shouldn’t be much longer, but the truth was, I just didn’t know. Gentry was pulling away from me, and it was all my fault.
I was just trying to spare my children the pain I was feeling. Clayton had been my best friend for twenty-three years. I didn’t understand why he would flip the script like this. He told me that he and Gentry had gotten along tonight, and if they kept spending time around each other, he could see the kids going home with me soon.
I glanced at my baby again and said, “Mommy’s okay, baby. Where’s Dakota?”
“He’s playing with his blocks. Dakota!” she yelled.
I slowly shook my head. She embodied the full big sister attitude. Dakota didn’t stand a chance. He ran into the front room where we were and fell on my lap. I was sitting on the floor in front of the couch. I hugged him tightly, seeking solace in my child’s love. It helped for a moment. When he pulled away from me, he said, “I go pay bocks!”
I chuckled. He was going to play with his blocks. He had some trouble with those L’s when they were paired with another consonant. Kizzie came back into the room with her tiara and wand. She sat next to me and asked, “Who’s Gentry?”
My heart sank at her question. “He’s someone I like, nosy.”
“Oooooh! Is he your boyfriend?” she asked then giggled.
This little girl stayed in my business. I wanted to tell her the truth, but if I did, that would bring that trauma right to her little mind. She would think I chose him over them. That wasn’t the case at all. If it were, I wouldn’t be here every day to spend time with them. I didn’t come last Saturday, because I needed to wash and clean up, mainly after myself. I could tell my mess was rubbing Gentry raw. He was very neat, and normally, I was too.
This stress was taking me down slowly, and it didn’t seem like I’d be able to do anything to stop it. I glanced at Kizzie as she waited for a response, so I said, “Something like that.”
“When will Kota and me get to meet him?”
“Kota and I.”
“When will Kota and I get to meet him?”
“Hopefully soon, baby.”
She jumped up and down as my phone rang. When I saw Vegas’s number, I got nervous. He called me at least once a week, but he always knew shit I didn’t think he knew. “Hello?”
“What it do, G?”
“Hey. How are you?”
“I’m good, but you don’t sound that good. What’s going on? That nigga fucking up?”
“No, he’s been perfect.”
“I’m not talking about Gentry. I’m talking about Clayton.”
My eyebrows lifted. I didn’t know how he knew to ask about Clayton. “Umm…”
“Don’t bullshit me, sis. I called Gentry, and we talked briefly. When I asked where you were, he said you were at Clayton’s house. The only reason you would be there is if that nigga hasn’t given you your kids back.”
That man was too fucking smart for his own good. I had no idea that he and Gentry talked like that. He’d never mentioned it to me. It wasn’t like I was ever really available for conversation. “He didn’t come home because he got drunk and couldn’t drive. Even then, he wouldn’t be able to see after the kids if they needed something through the night. So I had to stay.”
“You know I will fly out there at the drop of a hat, right? You just have to say the word.”
“No. This is a mess I created.”
“So you gon’ let that muhfucka destroy what you have with Gentry? You gon’ waste all your money and Gentry’s money? Y’all paid a grip for those services. Not being with him over some bullshit you can rectify would be like throwing that money in the trash. I would be pissed if I were Gentry.”
“It’s not that easy. My babies are the only ones in the world that will never turn their backs on me, at least not while they’re this young. I can’t have them traumatized from this bullshit. Listen, Vegas. I have to go. I’ll call you back.”
“Uh huh. Don’t make me come out there, G.”
“Okay. Bye.”
I ended the call wishing they would all understand the turmoil I was in. My mama did her best to encourage me. Whenever Clayton got home tomorrow, I would let him know of my intentions for Monday. I rested my head on the cushion of the couch, praying aloud that God would intervene. I turned to my side and rested my head back on the couch cushions. As I lay there, I decided to go take my braids out.
That would give me something to do to keep me busy. They were starting to look rough anyway. When I got to the bathroom, my phone chimed, indicating I had a text message. I pulled it from my pocket to see Gentry’s number. I’m sorry for being rough with you. We need to talk though. Face-to-face. I’m tired of texting and having phone conversations. Real shit.
From that text, it didn’t sound like he was sorry for being rough. I didn’t care about that though because I knew my actions were the cause of this. Instead of waiting until tomorrow, I FaceTimed him. He answered the phone with a deep frown on his face. “Giselle, see, you fucking playing with me. This ain’t the face-to-face I’m talking about.”
“I know. I just wanted to see your face now. I’m sorry.”
“I’m getting tired of that shit too. You ought to be tired of apologizing for shit you’re allowing. He got you right where he wants you.”
“What do you mean? He said y’all got along tonight.”
“That nigga fake as hell. He’s only trying to get along with me to prolong shit. If you think we’re progressing, you won’t file at the courthouse.”
“Gentry, really? You don’t even know him. Clayton isn’t a faker like that.”
“Apparently, you don’t know him either if the way he’s acting has caught you by surprise. Pay attention to him, and you’ll see it too. I gotta go because I’m getting angrier by the minute. I don’t want to be that person with you.”
“What person is that? Don’t be fake. Show me.”
“Oh, you don’t want that, Giselle. I really care about you. You are the last person I want to be mean and petty to. I’m not being fake. I’m restraining myself.”
“No, please don’t do that. Show me who I’m dealing with. You’re obviously the person I don’t know. I wouldn’t call being around you for a month sufficient time to know the real you.”
“You ain’t been around me but for a week! You been dealing with that nigga. Maybe you should’ve married him. You know what?”
He looked away from the camera and slowly shook his head with a smile on his face. It wasn’t a friendly smile. It was one that said I was about to get everything he was trying to hold back. My heart was bleeding already. I knew he was about to deliver the final blow to put me out of my misery.
“I’m tired of being tied down to someone who doesn’t seem to want to be tied to me. Why don’t you come get your things. You’re barely here anyway.”
When I saw the tear drop from one of his eyes, I knew just how hurt he was. He ended the call right after. I assumed he didn’t want me to see his emotions. I called right back as the tears streamed down my face. He answered once again with a frown until he saw my tears. “Gentry, please, give us a little more time. I wasn’t trying to accuse you of anything. My anger is speaking loudly. I’m upset with the situation too. Please, baby?”
I’d never begged a man for anything, but I didn’t want to lose Gentry. He’d gone above and beyond for me, trying to make things easier on me. He just stared at me as I tried to compose myself. “Mommy, why are you crying?”
I turned to see Kizzie walking toward me. Before I could stop her, she sat on my lap and stared into the phone. “Hi! I’m Princess Tiana. Are you Gentry?”
I closed my eyes briefly. When I reopened them, Gentry was smiling at Kizzie. “Yes, I am. Wow. I never thought I would ever meet a real-life princess. It’s so nice to meet you, Princess Tiana. You’re so pretty.”
Kizzie blushed as she looked up at me. When she saw my smile, she said, “Thank you. I knew it was you because I heard Mommy talking to you earlier. She said you’re someone she likes a lot.” She glanced up at me then whispered in the phone, “I think she might want to marry you.”
I slightly rolled my eyes, but I could see Gentry smiling at her. “You think so? Why do you think that?”
“She talks to you when she’s over here. She doesn’t talk to boys. So she must love you. Do you love her?”
His gaze shifted from her to me, and he bit his bottom lip for a moment. “I do love her. So much until I’m willing to wait… give it more time.”
I released the breath I was holding and blew him a kiss. That surely didn’t get by nosy sitting on my lap. Her brother came stumbling into the room and made his way to my lap and sat right on top of Princess Tiana. “This is the Shadow Man. He’s always being mean to me.”
Gentry fell out laughing as I huffed. “Your brother is not mean to you. It’s you who are mean to him sometimes.”
She covered her mouth as Dakota just stared at Gentry. “What’s up, lil man? I’m Gentry. What’s your name?”
“Koa.”
“Dakota? I like that name. I like it way better than Shadow Man.”
Dakota laughed. “Move, Kiz!”
He shoved her face out of the camera, and they started their foolishness. “Okay. Both of you, stop. Go make sure all your toys are put away so you can go to bed.”
“Aww,” Kizzie said.
Dakota mimicked her right after, and they trudged to their rooms. I looked back at Gentry and stared into his eyes. “They’re more beautiful in real time. I love them already.”
“Kizzie definitely has that effect on everyone she meets.”
“I’m pretty sure she gets that from her mother. I’ve been trying to pull away from you. I just don’t feel like this will end well, but I haven’t been able to slow down my heart. This shit hurts, Elle. I’m in love with you. There’s no way I would be feeling all these emotions if I wasn’t. When I say I love you, I mean that shit.”
“I love you too, Gentry. Thank you for giving me more time to get things together. I’m going to talk to Clayton when he gets here. He’s being unreasonable.”
He nodded as he yawned. It was nearly midnight. “Go ahead and get some rest, Flem. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“A’ight, baby. If he tries to clown you about the kids seeing me, let me know. I’m sure Princess Tiana is going to blast that shit as soon as she sees him.”
“Yeah. I’m sure she will. I love you.”
“I love you more, Elle.”
I ended the call and went to the bedrooms to check on the kids. Dakota was already in bed. He’d put all his blocks into a big pile. I smiled and kissed his head then went to check on Kizzie. She was still on the floor playing. When she saw me, she quickly started picking her things up. “Sorry, Mommy.”
“Mm hmm. Get yourself in that bed. You can finish cleaning up tomorrow. It’s late, and you ought to be tired.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
She got in bed and pulled the covers over her. I leaned over to kiss her, and she said, “I like Gentry. He’s nice.”
“Yeah, he is.”
“Are you going to marry him?”
I gave her a slight smile. “How about you pray for that and get some sleep.”
“Okay. Good night. I love you, Mommy.”
“I love you too, baby.”
I kissed her head, turned on her stars, and made my way back to the couch. I refused to sleep in Clayton’s bed. My anger and irritation with him caused me to lash out at Gentry unfairly. If what Gentry said was correct, time would tell. I got comfortable on the couch and drifted off to sleep.
“G, I’m home. Wake up.”
I sat up on the couch, trying to get my bearings. I looked at my phone to see it was seven in the morning. Once I had gathered myself, I looked up at him with a scowl on my face. “That was extremely thoughtless of you. I have a whole husband I needed to get home to. I’m starting to think you’re jealous of that.”
“Why would I be jealous that you have a husband? You barely even know him.”
“Oh, really? So tell me what you think you know.”
“He’s arrogant and petty.”
“That’s all you got? I already knew that. He’s only that way when he has a reason to be. Evidently, you gave him that reason.”
“So now you trust him over me?”
“Absolutely, because you’ve been different. You’re acting like I would put my kids in harm’s way. I would sacrifice my life for my children. I’m sick of your shit, and I’ll be filing for full custody Monday morning. My kids need to be with me!”
“Calm down for a minute, G. Please. You don’t want to drag the kids through that. How about you take the kids to meet him. I’m still not quite comfortable with them living with him just yet, but if they’re comfortable around him and like him, that will make it easier. Please? I don’t want us to be against each other. We’re friends, and I don’t want to lose that.”
“The kids saw him through FaceTime last night. Kizzie barged in on my conversation with him.”
He frowned slightly. “So you allowed them to talk before I said it was okay?”
“Clayton, quit fucking with me. The way you’re behaving is unacceptable. It makes it seem like this is more about you than the kids.”
He huffed and slid his hand down his face. “What time will you have them back?”
“At their bedtime.”
“That’s all day, G.”
“Clayton, you do realize I can just take them, right? They live with me. I’m the custodial parent, and anyone that knows us will vouch for me. You are proving that I need to file things through the court after all.”
“No. I’m cool. Let me help you get them ready. Princess Tiana is watching us.”
I turned to see Kizzie standing in the hallway peeking at us. Dakota probably wasn’t far. I walked over to them, and as sure as God made Adam, he was standing right behind her. “Y’all wanna go get breakfast?”
“Yay! Can we go to IHOP?” Kizzie asked after she squealed in excitement.
“Yes.”
“Yay!”
I smiled at how happy she was then placed a call to Gentry as I made my way into Dakota’s room to get him dressed. “Hello?” he answered groggily.
“Good morning, baby. I just wanted to make sure you were awake and dressed before we got there.”
“Who is we?”
“Me and the kids.”
“For real?”
“Yeah. I need to shower and change. Otherwise, I would have had you meet us at IHOP.”
“Okay, baby. I’ll tell the princess that you left clothes here. I’m sure she will want to know why you’re showering here.”
“Maybe, maybe not. I’m just happy. Let me get them together, and we’ll be on our way.”
“Okay. I can’t wait to see y’all. Love you.”
“Love you too, Gentry.”
When I ended the call, I dressed Dakota in record time then went to Kizzie’s room to make sure she wasn’t wearing a Sunday dress. Sure enough, she had on her Princess Tiana gown. “No, ma’am.”
“Aww.”
She should have known I was going to say no. We went through this nearly every time she put it on. She was persistent, that was for sure. I pulled out some jean capris and a cute shirt with Tiana on it. That seemed to be good enough for her. After I combed her hair, we were ready to go. “Bye, Daddy!”
“Bye, sweetheart. See you later.”
Kizzie frowned for a moment. “I wanna stay with Mommy. We’ve been here a long time.”
“Maybe next weekend, okay?”
“Okay,” she said sadly.
I rolled my eyes at him, and we made our way to my car. I should just keep them anyway, but I knew I would never hear the end of it. He didn’t know where Gentry lived, but I was more than sure he was going to follow us to find out.